A Visit Long Delayed
Grandmaster Munstrum Ridcully had almost been assigned to Cadia once, so very long ago it seemed like a different lifetime, when the light of the Astronomicon still burned, when the Emperor still lived a distant imperishable guardian of His Imperium. But he had not been sent to Cadia, for all the strength of will he demonstrated even in his youth. Later reading personnel files copied by Lord Klovis-Ultan Ridcully discovered it was because his faith in the God Emperor was not deemed strong enough to endure staring into the mouth of Hell. He had instead been assigned to Avernus at the Inquisitor Lord's request and the rest was history... so much history seen, so much history
made.
The Seer almost did not dare turn his aetheryc senses to the being to his left Isha Goddess of the Eldar, more ancient by far than humankind and all its works, the hope of a dying empire, perhaps the galaxy's hope also. And yet he knew what those long dead faceless bureaucrats who had questioned his faith would have said of her and all her kindred. Xeno, unclean, anathema...
I have been to Cadia and survived, the Avrernite psyker thought.
Cadia did nor survive me and those who traveled with me, he thought struggling uncharacteristically to hold back a giggle that may have been born of the Goddess' presence, heady like finest wine.
Yet did my faith survive? he wondered, mirth melting from his thoughts like morning dew.
Once he would have said yes, that his faith was all the stronger for its testing in those dark days when the guiding light of mankind went out, but here and now, comfortably ensconced in wraithbone besides the goddess he had twice risked his soul to rescue, the wraith-seers in whose gaze he
Saw himself reflected all the more Ridcully could not say for certain, and much as he might wish to veil that part of himself onto himself he could not, that comfort long since cast off that he might endure the rigors of the Path.
Do I have faith in the God Emperor? It was only when he felt Ararhea's attention sharp as adamntine blades and Isha's luminous gaze that he realized he had thought the question loudly enough to be heard.
"You have hope enough to be here Child of the Youngest Kindred," the goddess said softly.
"Hope enough to plumb the depths of despair and endure. Look to the future you would see built not the past already dead behind you."
"I know the Emperor will return, I know he is the future as much as he is the past," Ridcully replied firmly.
"But knowing isn't faith is it?" the last child of Helheim asked with wisdom born of long years discovering herself even as she unveiled more of Avernus' paths. "You know more of the God upon the Empty Throne than any other upon the World, too much perhaps to trust without fear or reservation."
"That's not..." Whatever his doubts Ridcully bristled at the cold almost clinical way she described the God Emperor, just another power on the tides of the Warp to her rather than the one who had shouldered the burdens of humanity until it broke him, who had sheltered them even in death.
"That's alright. We all have to grow up sometimes," Arathea said with a sly smile.
To that Munstrum Ridcully knew not what to answer
OOC: I recognize that this goes rather deep into the characterization of a major character. I have no expectation of this being made canon, though of course @Durin if you see anything you like feel free to use it. Mostly however I wrote this as and extention of in thread discussion on the fallibility of the Emepror as I pondered how Ridcully might see these matters. 
