The Rise of Warlord Headsmasher
Romka
Master of Stealth
- Location
- In a barrel
The Rise of Warlord Headsmasher
Warlord Headsmasher first began his rise to power under the Waaagh! of Warboss Killgore the Slayer. Headsmasher wasn't smart, but he rose through the ranks anyway through sheer brute force until he became a Nob under the Warboss himself.He became famous in this time for getting into fights and smashing the heads of anyone who thought they were bigger than him. He was content, happy simply to fight the wonderful enemies Warboss Killgore led them to, whether they were Spiky boys, Humies, or right and proper Orks.
This changed when The Green Awakening occurred.
All Orks felt the awakening of the gods, but Headsmasher shared a closer bond, and some say he was blessed by Gork himself. He grew quickly, and greatly, until only the Warboss was bigger than him. A lesser Ork would have held his place, but he knew he was destined for greatness, destined to Waaagh!, and to do that he had to beat the boss.
Headsmasher walked up to Killgore and and uttered a challenge. "I'ze the biggest Ork 'ere! I'ze gonna smash yor 'ead ya grot!"
Headsmasher saw the Warboss turn around and glare at him. He was not afraid. He had the strength of Gork!
"Oi! You think your big enough to challenge me? Well, I'll tell you what stupid, I'm gonna smash your head!"
Unfortunately, he lacked the kunning of Mork.
"No one smashes anyone's 'ead but me!"
Killgore stared in shock as Headsmasher raised his power klaw and smashed his own head.
Somehow, Headsmasher survived this, and went on to smash the still dumbfounded Killgore's head before passing out.
No longer was he Headsmasher the Nob, now he was Warboss Headsmasher.
A fight broke out among the Mad doks over who would get to fix the new Warboss. The winner was Bloodsplat the Mad, who was known to be insane even compared to other painboys.
Bloodsplat was not content merely 'fixing' the Warboss, no, he wanted to improve him. He replaced much of headsmasher's body with bionics, and pumped him full of a wide array of drugs, some of which he even knew the purpose of. The end result was a Monster.
When Headsmasher awoke, he was first quoted as saying "uh, wa, wat time iz it?" He then proceeded to kill the unfortunate grot Bloodsplat had left to watch for not answering him. He did the same to every other grot and Ork who didn't answer until he realized he already knew what time it was. "Itz time to WAAAAAGH!!"
Headsmasher had never been very smart, even by Ork standards, and between his injuries and subsequent 'treatment', he was now a paragon of stupidity. For every bit of intellect he had lost though, he had gained back in strength. Headsmasher was now a giant of an ork, towering over other Warbosses he encountered. Altered flesh and steel on top of his incredible strength ensured that no matter how terrible his decisions were, no one could oppose him.
The Waaagh! attacked all manner of foes, and after countless deaths and suicidal charges against superior numbers, It had grown into a mighty Waaagh! indeed, with Headsmasher as the undisputed Warlord.
It was around this time that the Eldar took notice.
Headsmasher was standing on the bridge of his flagship, The Breaker, About to give an announcement on the future of the Waaagh!
"Alright boyz we'ze Orks an dat means we'ze da biggest 'ardest boyz out there, so we- Headsmasher stopped talking abruptly. He stared for several seconds and had begun picking his nose when he realized he was saying something. "we should uh, uh, what was I gonna say?"
"You were uh, you were gonna say we should Waaagh! the Humies now." One of the Nobs chimed in.
"Oh, right. Listen up, we'ze gonna go Waaagh! da Humies, because we'ze, big and we'ze tough!"
The speech was interrupted by an explosion that shook the bridge.
"Boss! The Pansies are attacking!"
"Pansies? Dakka everyfing!"
To say the ensuing battle did not go as planned would be inaccurate, as that implies there was plan to begin with. After running out of dakka to shoot them with, Warlord Headsmasher ordered that all ships ram into the Eldar, who's superior speed allowed them to easily avoid this and destroy almost the entire Waaagh! Only The Breaker itself survived, flung far into the warp.
The remains of the Waaagh! exited the warp to find itself among another Waaagh! lead by Mekboss Boomdakka, and his mighty flagship, a gargantuan space hulk. Headsmasher made his way onto the hulk and slaughtered all resistance, including the Boomdakka himself.
With a new Waaagh! behind him, Headsmasher set out once again to conquer the stars, following the currents of the warp for good fights.
Parts of this were inspired by previous posts in the thread.
Headsmasher here has a few parallels with Ghazghkull. Both received some kind of head injury, and both were inspired by the gods. The main difference is that Ghazghkull became smarter after his injury, whereas Headsmasher became dumber.
@Durin
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