4th Juli of 2993
"I'm sorry, but that is just not going to happen," Jing said to the polygonal sky-rat, looking at him with a tilt in its head. Apparently, this thing was an "Artificial General Intelligence" that operated
most systems on the Furina. He was half-convinced these people were just fucking with him for the laughs. "There is no way that you can design and create not only
one new Mech but
two while
also constructing 16 Battlemechs within one year. That kind of madness belongs to the days when we still freaked out over blue-water navies shaping gun turrets."
The sky-rat tilted its head the other way. "We have already completed both designs."
"Wh-AT?!" Jing sputtered, incredulous and shocked. "WH-What do you mean you've already completed them?!"
"The design portion was, admittedly, the most straightforward part of the endeavor, thanks to my processing capabilities. It was the assembly and trouble-shooting
afterward that proved to be the
real challenge. We forgot to put ejection systems into both of the Mechs."
Jing's mind stopped. He blinked rapidly for several seconds. "What do you mean you've forgot to put ejection systems into
both designs?!"
"Apparently, Mrs. Saph of the Fontaine Mech Design Club had been placed in charge of designing the ejection system for the Trooper Project but had been under the impression that someone else would do so, who themselves were under the same impression, leading to a comical cascade that leads to the Trooper finishing its last revision before the production deadline was crossed without one such system being included." Jing felt his brain slow cook. The sky-rat pretended to preen its non-existent feathers. "Thankfully, we've caught the issue in the Thor, but not before it was made... awkward to activate the ejection."
"How...how do you not catch that?! A new mech design is a monumental undertaking for even the best of the best of the Dragon's learned! Are you not some kind of hyper-intelligent machine?!" Jing said, trying to feel anything other than numb and shocked.
The sky-rat simply gave him a...
sheepish look. "I was not actively conscious of that part; I set an automatic system up to create the best approximations using my mental capacity so I could continue playing ULTRAKILL. I've figured out that you are supposed to shoot the coins you throw, not use them as distractions, and I was a bit occupied that month."
Jing placed his head in his hands. He felt...feelings. Feelings that felt
feelingly.
"Unfortunately, the teams tasked with picking the best of the options and refining the proposed solutions to various problems got carried away with turning the Thor's missile launchers into a pet project of theirs, and now its entire logistical base is fucked, alongside its flexibility, to afford the range for the munitions to travel within its body, yet I feel that-" TAUBENMUTTER continued to talk, yet Jing was not listening. He was far away, in his happy place.
Far away from these insane psychopaths.
Despite the Thor M1a being both inspired and cursed in its creation, it would, with its impossible-to-maintain internals, borked ejection systems, inability to turn its torso without turning its whole body, and very weakly armored cockpit, be forever burned into the minds of the pilots sent alongside the Clan Big Iron Mercenary Company as the best Mech in existence due to the sheer fact that it was
not the Trooper.
This statement and vitriol annoyed and brought tears to many of the Trooper's designers because it was, in their minds, utterly undeserved due to an error everyone would have made. Yes, they had forgotten to put in an ejection system, but the majority of war machines in human history used their entryways as escape mechanisms, even if it wasn't planned for!
But no, what actually brought the ire of the pilots and their anger toward the Trooper was the reason for its existence: the capability to hot-swap its weapon systems and load up equipment within moments.
For you see, during testing, one of the two tester-pilots felt a sensation similar to "a metal blade scratching across my teeth" while their first swap occurred, and a quick calibration of their Mind-Machine-Interface implant took care of the issue.
So, it was never looked at closely.
So the designers never realized that the same issue persisted in
all but
two pilots of Clan Big Iron, a frequency miss-match of the Mech's OS calibrations and their pilot's MMIs when attaching new equipment, sending the false feedback to its pilot.
Over. And over. And over again. Whenever something was attached, detached, or swapped, that same feeling of a metal blade across the teeth was felt. Again and
again.
Thankfully, the issue was resolved by the MechTechs of Clan Big Iron a month into the company's journey toward the Aurigan Coalition. Still, the psychosomatic effects and responses acquired during training with the Trooper remained.
Much to everyone's annoyance and anger.
You require a Company Leader and a Second Commander for Clan Big Iron.
(6-Hour Moratorium)
[][Company Leader Vibes] Liz-Ard People! Liz-Ard People! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss!
[][Company Leader Vibes] Cackling Shotgun Gremlin
[][Company Leader Vibes] Sapphire Hyena Maul
[][Second Commander] (Create a Person.)
