a/n: Not the longest or most serious update, but it amused me far too much to not write, so, well, here you go.
Chapter 13
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Vergil, First Generation Experimental Adjutant, Recuperation Aide to Patient 001, November 'Nova' Terra, felt his processes twinge uncomfortably.
His observations of his patient showed she was, according to his databases, showing signs of what the Terrans termed 'sadness', 'anxiety', and 'depression'.
This was not acceptable. His primary function was to see to her recovery after all. Letting out a mental hum, he continued to pursue his available data to attempt to find a solution to Nova's current condition to restore her attitude to 'content' or 'happy' or 'notsad'.
Thus, he felt that he must find a way to restore Patient Terra's 'happiness'. The only problem is that Terrans are most confusing organics.
Vergil hummed to himself in his little section of the Hippocrates' network, keeping an electronic eye (via discreet camera) on Patient Terra as she stayed in her bedding, curled up, arms wrapped around her knees and head down.
He felt another uncomfortable twitch as his primary directives prodded at him.
Yes, that was definitely a posture noted as 'sad'. Most unfortunate.
Ah! There! That! That would do! Even better, the proper objects were near the Sara system and could be shipped without trouble!
Feeling 'pleased' with himself, Vergil requested a communications link to the Legion Support Vessel 'Sigmund', currently located in the Antigua system.
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+Subject's musculature is surprisingly efficient for an organic design.+
+Careful, 02910. Subject is part of planned design and directed evolution. Assuming an organic unit is inherently inferior could taint the examination and research of the subject.+
+Chastised. Recalibrating. Still, can we integrate this into an improvement for the Legion's forces?+
+Not for current Adjutant based designs. Simulations show that without the quadrupedal form, increased effort after mechanical replication would be minor. Muscles require four limbs for counter balance. Notice how they also are designed to help enhance the secondary tearing blades power when lunging at a target. Without those integrated muscle groups, only a minor increase in frame power. Far better to increase efficiency of armor servos than bother with internal musculature at the moment. Far more return for less resource usage.+
+Hmm. Supposition accepted.+
++Communication Link incoming: Sara System, Hippocrates, Adjutant 'Vergil'. Listening.++
-Ah! Hello there! Excuse me, do you have any spare functional samples?-
+Reason for query?+
-Well, you see, my patient is 'emotionally disturbed'. According to collected data, Terran Emotional Equilibrium can be restored through interaction with quadruped organic units! Unfortunately, the previous bombardment of the Sara system has eliminated all organic life on Mar and Chau Sara! Therefore, I am inquiring if I can borrow one of your intact organic samples to restore my subject's emotional Equilibrium and restore her to 'happiness', as quadruped organic interaction is recorded to help Terrans in a state of 'sadness'!-
+...Processing.+
+...Patient November Terra's recovery IS an alpha-priority…+
+Truth.+
-Excellent! Can you ship one of the intact samples to the Hippocra-
++Previous request terminated by Sara System Overseer Socrates.++
+|+This is the Socrates. Shipments of live 'Zerg' specimens into the Sara System are Forbidden. In addition, Terran and Zerg interactions are NOT conducive to mental health recovery.+|+
-Oh. Oh my.-
+|+Resume research and design. Adjutant Vergil, add a cross-check against species when attempting to model Terran-Quadruped Interactions. Extrapolation of all four-legged species being beneificial to Terran mental Health is flawed.+|+
-Oh dear. Affirmative, System Overseer.-
+|+Initial idea had merit, however. Steps are being taken. Orders sent.+|+
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Agent Black felt an eyebrow twitch as the new mission assigned to his freshly replenished Marauder Unit was uploaded to his personal network.
Sighing, he sent a ping to the network, ordering Marauder Team 001's members to report to their deployment vessel.
He wasn't sure why acquisition of a 'Small Quadrupedal Animal, Species Feline, Fluffy' plus maintenance items required the dispatch of his covert ops unit, but, well, the Socrates was an assigned superior…
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"Good evening, Tarsonis! This...is UNN! Welcome to the Evening Report! I'm your host this evening, Donny Vermillion, filling in for Frederic Gustavson! Now for the news! First, we've been receiving reports that the Sons of Korhal are up to their old tricks again! According to reports from our brave boys in Delta Squadron and our embedded investigative reporter, Michael Liberty! Michael?"
"Thanks, Donny. I'm reporting from the Delta Squadron Flagship Southern Cross! Now, I don't want to shock our viewers at home, so if you're of a more delicate persuasion, I recommend you turn off your television for the next five minutes. I'll wait. … ...Done? Excellent. In a shocking turn of events, the Sons of Korhal have unleashed a poisonous mind control toxin on the colony of Antigua Prime! While it killed a large number of the innocent civilians outright and mutated others into hideous freaks of nature, the 'survivors' have been ordered by their new masters to take up arms against the Confederacy, being thrown into the meat grinder as expendable troops. That isn't enough for those degenerate scum, though! They've also used one of those poor mind controlled victims as a suicide bomber, unleashing a virulent toxin on the Alpha Squadron Flagship Norad II. The ship crashed with almost no survivors...except for a few mentally reprogrammed zombies like former Confederate General Edmund Duke! Remember, folks! If you see someone claiming to be an Antiguan or from Alpha Squadron, they're probably a mind controlled toxic mutant zombie!"
"Shocking, Michael. Absolutely shocking. We're going live now to Lower Tarsonis City, where our local reporter, Kate Lockwell, is reporting on the current Mar Sara refugee situation and their decimation at the hands of the Sons of Korhal."
"Hello, Donny. Actually, it's not too bad down here. According to the survivors I've spoken to, most of the citizens were treated pretty well by the rebel forces. They're actually more annoyed that the Confederacy didn't aid-"
"Going to have to cut you off there, Kate! We're out of time for this segment! Tune back in after the break for tonight's headline: Mysterious Break-in at High Class Pet Shop. Is it the work of Aliens, Criminals, or Criminal Aliens? Stay tuned for a word from our sponsors!"
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Sitting in a cantina on Antigua Prime, Sergeant Leeroy Gibbs sipped his beer, scratching his chin in confusion as he watched the commercials run on the television mounted on the wall.
"Huh."
He turned, poking the slightly scruffy man sitting besides him. Said chap was glaring bloody murder at the teevee and clenching his mug hard enough to crack it.
Leeroy found that mighty impressive, seein' as how the mugs were made from repurposed battle armor shards. "Hey, Mike. How come Mister Vermillion said you're talkin' from Delta Squadron? Far as I know, you ain't left Alpha Squadron in months. Also, I ain't a zombie...am I? I mean, I'd think I'd remember somethin' like that."
Eyebrow twitching, Michael Liberty slammed his drink back in one go, tossing the mug aside. "I'm going to punch Vermillion's goddamn teeth out the next time I see him. Joeyray! Bring me a bottle of the good stuff!"
The bartender frowned slightly. "Look, Liberty, I know you're one of Raynor's buddies, but I think you've had enough to drink tonight. That's the third mug you've put down of the home brewed eighty proo-"
The ex-UNN reporter's eyes narrowed, and Joeyray swallowed, as he was staring directly into an unfathomable abyss of pain promised by those eyes. "Right then, one bottle of Snakebite, comin' up." Mama Ray didn't raise no fool, after all.
Leeroy calmly waited for Mister Liberty to get a swig of the rather terrible rotgut before clearing his throat and poking him again. "...So we ain't zombies, right?"
Michael Liberty sighed, letting his head hang as he took another swig of his terrible booze.
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