Guide to the Planets of the Aetelian Sector: Chuddoban
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Lurking and sometimes blurting
- Location
- Clogging a drain
Chuddoban
Classification: Feral World, Former Mining World
Administratum Tithe: Solutio Tertius
Population: 6 Million
Capital: Chudd's Posterior
Day Cicle Duration (In terran standard): 52 Hours
"Give ya the rest of my ration bar if you charge that Ork Nob." - Last words heard by Minoris Saint Scrud the Blessedly Ignorant before his fateful duel with Nob Facescruncher.
"Wait, I have a new idea on how to improve upon my ancestor's statue." - Grand Lord Chudd the 23rd before sending yet another orbital supply strike at the planet.
"Food for Grug, drink for Grug, Grug smash for Gold Father!" - Typical response when a Chuddoban Scrounger is asked why they joined the Guard.
Chuddoban started off like many worlds in the Imperium. The world was discovered by a Rogue Trader to possess the markings of rich mineral wealth. Prospectors and settlers were dispatched to exploit this wealth for the benefit of mankind.
Unfortunately those markings of fortune turned out to be false. Just months after extensive mining operations were commenced all seams of minerals ended abruptly. All the promise of riches were only surface level. All efforts to search for mineral deposits past a few miles came up fruitless as the deeper layers were completely barren.
The misfortunes of Chuddoban were only compounded by the fact that the planet's government had already sent generous tithe estimates to the Administratum. When the predicted tithe payments did not materialize, Chuddoban was declared a non-contributing planet to the Imperium.
All external support to the colonization of the planet was cut off. Combined with the failing of the mining industry, set as the backbone of the planet's economy, the population was left completely destitute.
What resources could be gained were harvested with little concern for environmental impact. Equipment that could be salvaged were ripped from their hinges with next to nothing left behind for those left behind. Everything of worth was quickly shipped off world by those who could afford to escape the doomed planet.
Just when the populace thought things couldn't get any worse, Freeboota Coggnasher descended upon the planet. The massive Ork had stumbled across outdated rumors of Chuddoban supposed wealth while raiding nearby convoys. Believing such a rich world could offer good gubbins and a proppa scrap, Coggnasher launched his raid shortly after most of the planetary wealth was evacuated.
Disappointed at finding neither good gubbins nor a proppa scrap, Coggnasher plundered and devastated what was left of the planet unenthusiastically while his ships underwent repairs. Those Boys that failed to climb aboard Ork ships when they departed quickly devolved into Chuddoban's feral Ork population due to a lack of technology and proppa foes to krump.
Chuddoban was left abject desolation for millennia. A state of affairs that would continue if not for a rare example of good fortune. Chudd the 23rd, failed scion of the Slamfist Dynasty jumped into the system after some trouble with his ship's warp drive.
What would have been a routine pit stop changed the moment Chudd looked at the picts of the planet's landmarks. When the scion gazed upon a statue the size of a hab block, Chudd declared it the likeness of his ancestor, Chudd the 1st. Immediately an astropathic message was sent to the main Slamfist estate. The message declared that Chudd the 23rd had found a lost planet of the Slamfist domain, now named Chuddoban.
The main branch of the Slamfist dynasty, eager to be rid of Chudd, graciously acknowledged his discovery and claim to planetary governship of Chuddoban. Only the most below average of personnel was sent and the family spared all optional expenses to ensure the stability and prosperity of Slamfist's new holding.
These days Chudd the 23rd rests his corpulent mass upon a large and soft cushion. Far above Chuddoban in his personal orbital station. There he oversees efforts to uplift the planet and its populace to be fitting subjects of his benevolent and rightful rule.
Schools manned by failed Schola graduates are opened several weeks travel from any tribal lands to educate the masses in the most basic low gothic. Tools, blueprints in High Gothic, and maintenance supplies are fired on the regular from orbit into unpopulated wastelands so that nonexistent workers can work on fixing the statue of Chudd the 1st. Even large luxury pools surrounded by well used automated defenses are installed at the base of the statue for when Chudd the 23rd and his entourage will eventually visit.
Chuddoban's population meanwhile, are locked in a bitter struggle for survival. Chuddobanians are composed of mostly scattered semi-nomadic tribes trying to survive one more day. Stuck between trying to find or grow food in an environmentally devastated land, being harassed by feral Orks, and lacking anything in the way of infrastructure, tech base, or knowledge of the wider Imperium outside of tales from their shamans of the Gold Father and The Great Bust.
Imperial Regiment: the Chuddoban Scroungers.
Remarkably, Chuddoban actually has an Imperial Guard regiment. This is mainly due to the Administratum trying to salvage something of value from Chudd's frivolous projects and shipping requests. Although the Planetary Governor sees the assigned Tithe as a badge of honor for his world.
The Chuddoban Scroungers recruit a single regiment once a decade. These recruits are shoved in the empty cargo space when the decennial supply delivery is made. They are stuffed alongside whatever of value was brought up from the world or whatever excess minerals are left over from the governor's small asteroid mining operation to keep his station running.
Recruitment into Chuddoban Scroungers is highly sought after by the planet's populace. Life among the stars is seen as great honor for the tribe and deliverance to a land of (relative) plenty for the chosen. Three square meals a day and a guaranteed supply of water an assurance rather than a pipe dream.
When the "Leathermen" show up to a tribe's encampment it prompts the men of the camp to engage in vicious duels and displays of physical prowess in hopes of being chosen. The most "impressive" and least injured are rounded up, and crates of expired ration bars are gratefully received by the tribe in exchange for the menfolk.
The Scroungers are made up of almost exclusively melee troops comprised of illiterate feral worlders with a very, very basic grasp of Low Gothic. Their commanders are graduates of Chudd's Finishing Schools, and therefore are about as educated and well mannered as your average underhiver. The majority of the interaction outside the regiment are usually handled by the assigned Commissar.
What the Scroungers lack in discipline, tactics, or general understanding, they make up for in morale and survival instincts. Releasing a regiment of Scroungers ahead of an Imperial advance allows them to put their rudimentary pathfinder skills to use. Should a better option for scouting be available, there is allows a use for a mob of men with blunt or bladed objects who are willing to run screaming at the enemy.
Trivia:
Omake note: This planet was inspired by a Boom Town going Bust and how that would look on a planetary scale. Chudd is a dig at vanity charities that don't really do much to improve an impoverished area and just serve to make the donors look good.
Classification: Feral World, Former Mining World
Administratum Tithe: Solutio Tertius
Population: 6 Million
Capital: Chudd's Posterior
Day Cicle Duration (In terran standard): 52 Hours
"Give ya the rest of my ration bar if you charge that Ork Nob." - Last words heard by Minoris Saint Scrud the Blessedly Ignorant before his fateful duel with Nob Facescruncher.
"Wait, I have a new idea on how to improve upon my ancestor's statue." - Grand Lord Chudd the 23rd before sending yet another orbital supply strike at the planet.
"Food for Grug, drink for Grug, Grug smash for Gold Father!" - Typical response when a Chuddoban Scrounger is asked why they joined the Guard.
Chuddoban started off like many worlds in the Imperium. The world was discovered by a Rogue Trader to possess the markings of rich mineral wealth. Prospectors and settlers were dispatched to exploit this wealth for the benefit of mankind.
Unfortunately those markings of fortune turned out to be false. Just months after extensive mining operations were commenced all seams of minerals ended abruptly. All the promise of riches were only surface level. All efforts to search for mineral deposits past a few miles came up fruitless as the deeper layers were completely barren.
The misfortunes of Chuddoban were only compounded by the fact that the planet's government had already sent generous tithe estimates to the Administratum. When the predicted tithe payments did not materialize, Chuddoban was declared a non-contributing planet to the Imperium.
All external support to the colonization of the planet was cut off. Combined with the failing of the mining industry, set as the backbone of the planet's economy, the population was left completely destitute.
What resources could be gained were harvested with little concern for environmental impact. Equipment that could be salvaged were ripped from their hinges with next to nothing left behind for those left behind. Everything of worth was quickly shipped off world by those who could afford to escape the doomed planet.
Just when the populace thought things couldn't get any worse, Freeboota Coggnasher descended upon the planet. The massive Ork had stumbled across outdated rumors of Chuddoban supposed wealth while raiding nearby convoys. Believing such a rich world could offer good gubbins and a proppa scrap, Coggnasher launched his raid shortly after most of the planetary wealth was evacuated.
Disappointed at finding neither good gubbins nor a proppa scrap, Coggnasher plundered and devastated what was left of the planet unenthusiastically while his ships underwent repairs. Those Boys that failed to climb aboard Ork ships when they departed quickly devolved into Chuddoban's feral Ork population due to a lack of technology and proppa foes to krump.
Chuddoban was left abject desolation for millennia. A state of affairs that would continue if not for a rare example of good fortune. Chudd the 23rd, failed scion of the Slamfist Dynasty jumped into the system after some trouble with his ship's warp drive.
What would have been a routine pit stop changed the moment Chudd looked at the picts of the planet's landmarks. When the scion gazed upon a statue the size of a hab block, Chudd declared it the likeness of his ancestor, Chudd the 1st. Immediately an astropathic message was sent to the main Slamfist estate. The message declared that Chudd the 23rd had found a lost planet of the Slamfist domain, now named Chuddoban.
The main branch of the Slamfist dynasty, eager to be rid of Chudd, graciously acknowledged his discovery and claim to planetary governship of Chuddoban. Only the most below average of personnel was sent and the family spared all optional expenses to ensure the stability and prosperity of Slamfist's new holding.
These days Chudd the 23rd rests his corpulent mass upon a large and soft cushion. Far above Chuddoban in his personal orbital station. There he oversees efforts to uplift the planet and its populace to be fitting subjects of his benevolent and rightful rule.
Schools manned by failed Schola graduates are opened several weeks travel from any tribal lands to educate the masses in the most basic low gothic. Tools, blueprints in High Gothic, and maintenance supplies are fired on the regular from orbit into unpopulated wastelands so that nonexistent workers can work on fixing the statue of Chudd the 1st. Even large luxury pools surrounded by well used automated defenses are installed at the base of the statue for when Chudd the 23rd and his entourage will eventually visit.
Chuddoban's population meanwhile, are locked in a bitter struggle for survival. Chuddobanians are composed of mostly scattered semi-nomadic tribes trying to survive one more day. Stuck between trying to find or grow food in an environmentally devastated land, being harassed by feral Orks, and lacking anything in the way of infrastructure, tech base, or knowledge of the wider Imperium outside of tales from their shamans of the Gold Father and The Great Bust.
Imperial Regiment: the Chuddoban Scroungers.
Remarkably, Chuddoban actually has an Imperial Guard regiment. This is mainly due to the Administratum trying to salvage something of value from Chudd's frivolous projects and shipping requests. Although the Planetary Governor sees the assigned Tithe as a badge of honor for his world.
The Chuddoban Scroungers recruit a single regiment once a decade. These recruits are shoved in the empty cargo space when the decennial supply delivery is made. They are stuffed alongside whatever of value was brought up from the world or whatever excess minerals are left over from the governor's small asteroid mining operation to keep his station running.
Recruitment into Chuddoban Scroungers is highly sought after by the planet's populace. Life among the stars is seen as great honor for the tribe and deliverance to a land of (relative) plenty for the chosen. Three square meals a day and a guaranteed supply of water an assurance rather than a pipe dream.
When the "Leathermen" show up to a tribe's encampment it prompts the men of the camp to engage in vicious duels and displays of physical prowess in hopes of being chosen. The most "impressive" and least injured are rounded up, and crates of expired ration bars are gratefully received by the tribe in exchange for the menfolk.
The Scroungers are made up of almost exclusively melee troops comprised of illiterate feral worlders with a very, very basic grasp of Low Gothic. Their commanders are graduates of Chudd's Finishing Schools, and therefore are about as educated and well mannered as your average underhiver. The majority of the interaction outside the regiment are usually handled by the assigned Commissar.
What the Scroungers lack in discipline, tactics, or general understanding, they make up for in morale and survival instincts. Releasing a regiment of Scroungers ahead of an Imperial advance allows them to put their rudimentary pathfinder skills to use. Should a better option for scouting be available, there is allows a use for a mob of men with blunt or bladed objects who are willing to run screaming at the enemy.
Trivia:
- The resemblance of the statue of Chudd the 1st on Chuddoban and portraits of the man at the family's main estate have some notable discrepancies. This does little to dissuade Chudd the 23rd as he has never been allowed inside the family estate.
- Commissars report minimal demerits or misconduct from Scrounger regiments. It is theorized this is due to Chuddobanians' taste buds having atrophied to the point that all the most bland food and other vices taste vile to them. This combined with their relative increase in living conditions have rendered them quite grateful and docile.
- Chuddoban officers are the only guardsmen in the regiment allowed access to firearms, if only a rudimentary autogun. This has led to Chuddoban Scroungers to associate guns with leadership. Attempts to tamp down on other regiments exploiting this fact for their own amusement is one of their Commissars' primary duties.
Omake note: This planet was inspired by a Boom Town going Bust and how that would look on a planetary scale. Chudd is a dig at vanity charities that don't really do much to improve an impoverished area and just serve to make the donors look good.
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