Life Ore Death
** Episode 25 __ Childhood's Hour
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
* November 4 [Renka PoV] Thursday
It was far from unusual for me to participate in therapy sessions of one form or another.
It was a regular occurrence for me to talk with Dinah, the Black Canary, about something for the better part of at least an hour each week.
It was not unheard of for me to be summoned by her to such a session on short notice, though it rarely occurred.
It was a first for Dinah to be in the patient's chair, babbling at me, while I attempted to talk through her concerns.
"Dinah," I intervened calmly as we reached the half-hour mark and she repeated herself for the third time in five minutes, "in a case where you are this off-balance, I find the best way to stop going in mental circles is to discuss something else, and let the upset settle."
She sagged down onto the couch again and ran her fingers through her hair again, for the fifth time in a few minutes.
"Right, right. I have been a bit of a mess about this, haven't I? I just-,"
"Mm," I hummed warningly, and she stopped. "Tell me about Queen Perdita, please. She is a queen now, yes?"
"Yes, her father, King Guntram Vlatava, passed away two days ago."
"I had believed she was already the queen, though?" I wondered. "Robin said the 'reigning monarch' needed to remove Vertigo's diplomatic immunity, a month in the past, and he said Perdita was the 'reigning monarch'."
"Yes, but she hadn't been crowned as queen then, and still hasn't technically. There's a small difference between royalty, crowned royalty, and reigning royalty; royalty is a member of the royal family, crowned royalty is someone who has been through the ceremonies and been recognized as the ruling king or queen, and reigning royalty is the member of the royal family making decisions about ruling."
"That means something was preventing King Guntram, her father, from being a ruling king," I assumed, to which Dinah nodded.
"Do you know the word 'inbreeding'?" I wrinkled my nose.
"Yes, I have good reason to look up words in English about breeding," I reminded her. "The royal family suffers inbreeding?"
"They are prone to birth defects, yes. Perdita has a potentially lethal heart murmur, Vertigo has… something to do with his inner ear and his brain, I remember, and King Guntram had something as well. He spent most of the past two years in and out of deliriums and a coma, leaving Perdita the next in line for the throne, formally in charge of making decisions about ruling."
"Vertigo is her uncle, yes? Is he her only uncle? Is her mother-?"
"Queen Alvermia was killed in the accident that started King Guntram's downward spiral. Guntram and Vertigo are brothers, but I believe they have a few cousins, and Alvermia has some siblings not part of the royal family."
"Mm. A month in the past, Robin said Perdita was already in the You-Ess-Ay for surgery, but you said she only arrived yesterday?"
"She
arrived in Star City yesterday, she was already in the United States. She needs a heart transplant-," I perked up and paid closer attention to the interesting subject that could overlap with creating a Hemalurgic spike non-lethally. "-and there are a few potential matches in the country who are willing and in a position to donate. Queen Perdita has refused to consider anything like scheduling the donation in advance, because there is the potential of failure, and she refuses to let someone end their life before their natural time when it's possible doing so wouldn't save her anyway. Up until now, she was in Boston with one of the prospective donors, a man expected to pass away soon."
"To be clear, the people who donate a heart is to be dead. There is no donor to donate a heart for replace them, too?"
"Yes. Organ donation, especially of vital organs, occurs only after the donor is dead. The organs can be preserved for a short time and transplanted into any recipient known to be a potential match, and within range for the surgery to be performed in time."
"One person can donate more than one organ, yes?" Dinah nodded, and I kept quiet beyond that. I was of the opinion that if there was a willing donor it would be more sensible and convenient to pre-schedule the death and have all the patients prepared and in range.
I also knew that Earth placed more emphasis (ironically) than Scadrial on the
Preservation of human life, and that such a scheduled death would be equivalent to killing the patient, or allowing them to commit suicide. '
Potential abuses include pressuring people with organs able to be donated to let themselves die, whether they are willing or not. There is also the issue of, "what if the donor declines at the last second".'
I turned my thoughts back to Perdita's arrival, instead. '
Multiple potential donors, a change of cities, and an assassination attempt….'
"Is the arrival in Star City because the donor in Boston did not work, or because a better donor was there, in Star City?" I asked.
"Perdita changed hospitals because in addition to one potential donor in Seattle, another potential organ match popped up, so with the odds of getting a donation from the West Coast area doubled, they flew her over to be closer to those matches. I believe she'll be moving up to Seattle later today, with or without the new potential donor as well; Superman and Green Arrow have already arranged to guard her."
"Mm, good. I hope she will get well soon," I said. "Relate what you know of the assassination attempt, please?"
"Yes, yes. Among other things, her guard arranged a body double – I'm not certain how they pulled that off, I only heard that it happened – and dyed Perdita's hair brown on the plane to misdirect assassins, but it didn't work too well. The Justice League wasn't supposed to be involved, Green Arrow was just coming to pick me up at the airport, but the timing and traffic happened to coincide."
"Why were you at the airport instead of using a Zeta Tube?" I wondered.
"You need a Zeta Tube at both locations to move between them," she reminded me. "There's no Zeta Tube near Tucson, Phoenix."
I did not know the location, but since that was her point, I made no further comment on it, nor did I ask why she was at that place.
"You were only involved in the end of the assassination attempt?"
"Yes." She chuckled bitterly. "I should have stayed in the baggage claim area and waited for- for Green Arrow, it would have been faster."
"I know the Green Arrow's secret identity is Oliver Queen," I volunteered, to Dinah's visible surprise, so I elaborated on that. "The Red Arrow came to visit us at the mountain one day before Halloween. I knew his name was Roy from our time working together in China."
"Yes," she sighed. "That's one of the reasons I decided to come talk to you, truth be told. I'm not sure what you said to Roy – he didn't want to talk much about it – but he mentioned you'd hit him over his metaphorical head with how thick-headed he was being." I may have gaped slightly. "Oh. You aren't certain what you said either, are you?" I shut my jaw and shook my head. "Care to talk about it?"
"I should say we are here to talk about you," I reminded her, "but yes, I will care to. Truth be told," I parroted, "I encouraged him."
"In what way?" Dinah asked, taking a bit of her Therapist tone back up.
"The Red Arrow, I think, sees- or he saw himself as the victim, alone, rebelling hopelessly against the world, fighting bitterly to accomplish great acts alone, succeeding despite hardship in doing things no one else can or will do. I pointed out that he had inspired us."
"I wouldn't have describe Roy quite that way," Dinah hemmed, "but you aren't wrong, Renka. Did you include yourself in the 'us'?"
I had expected a comment from Dinah about the way she had tried to do the same tactic, leading to the subject of what I had done differently. Her redirection to myself, which I took as a sign of her repossession of the Therapist confidence, was something I could use, still.
"By association," I allowed, tapping a touch more from my duralumin-mind to translate more difficult terms. "It was more along the lines of, 'you going off on your own as a journeyman inspired the other apprentices, here is what we have done because you started it'."
"A journeyman? I haven't thought much about it… He was working and training under Ollie, but now he's struck out… it applies."
"Yes. I did not expect it would help like you said it may have helped, though," I revealed, expecting it would probably tweak Dinah's temper. "He thought we were on a 'kiddie leash,' and thus I predicted he would be ashamed and mentally hammer his fingers because we have been doing the 'big, important, deadly, League-level work,' he wanted in his absence, like the Injustice League, the meta-human human trafficking of the League of Shadows, along with Brain's experiments, and the Red Robot family. I wonder why he felt better?"
I made a point of raising my eyes to the ceiling as I said that to myself, as though I had forgotten Dinah was present.
A light tap from my vision tin-mind and a faint tilting of my head let me keep her face in view, reflected off of a metal light cover.
Even without that, I could as good as feel her narrow her eyes at me.
"You're telling me that you wanted to make his issues worse, and you're disappointed that you helped instead," she summed darkly.
"You do remember we have discussed my 'emotional sadism' and 'Schadenfreude' tendencies before, Dinah? I am what I am."
"I am as well, Renka," she countered icily. "You do remember, talking about this with me, that I'm as good Roy's mother, don't you?"
I laughed in her face.
The immediate impulse to do so was brief, but in the moment I had huffed with a smile, I entirely
realized what Dinah had just said to me, appearing to be 'in all seriousness,' and in response I unbridled my self-control to laugh long, loud, and raucously at her.
Through my throes of hilarity, I saw Dinah had recoiled in shock as though I had manually slapped her, rather than verbally.
She stayed off-balance and uncertain even as I hammered the brass bell and quieted back down. She opened her mouth to speak.
I was faster. "Dinah, you are
not Roy's mother, and if you behave as such to him then I am
far less confused by his problems."
"E-ex
cuse me?" She stood up in her chair in anger and I kept my body language undefended; she only took one step before she mastered her anger and reclaimed her control. Dinah sat down again, but kept her posture assertive. "What exactly do you mean by that?"
"When the Red Arrow visited the day before Halloween, we talked about his history before Red Arrow or Speedy, when he was only Roy and did not have met the Green Arrow," I informed Dinah, continuing to project my amusement at her. "It was more than three and less than four years ago that Roy joined with the Green Arrow, and only after that did he meet you, yes?
"I- yes," Dinah allowed.
"He lived a decade and half again of life when he did not know you, Dinah. Yes," I continued in summary, "he was raised by his father and then by his godfather, but people can have no father or mother as rightly as they can have many of each and both. If you try to behave like his mother, he will, I think, be feel insulted by you."
"I love him like my own," she said sharply, "and I know he feels the same way, despite his recent growing pains."
"You love him like family, and Roy is family in your heart, as you are in his heart," I agreed, "but that does not mean
mother. You are not Mauslen, I am certain, and you have not been in the life of Roy long enough or deep enough to be Dwynra. I know he has given you more than one Mother's Day card in the past – Robin and Roy spoke of Mother's Day without living mothers – but it is not the same. In the book of Zatanna's faith, do you know the story of…-" I grimaced, reaching ineffectually. "-of the first murder, the fratricide of the second son?"
"Cain and Abel?" she suggested, willing to hear me out at least. '
Which means she isn't spitting furious, but I make my point, at least.'
"Yes," I said, distracted for a moment by the thought I had heard those names outside the religious parable. "…Yes. I had this talk with the Superman too, about Conner, from the opposite. Cain asks, 'Am I my brother's keeper?' It is to deflect suspicion from his crime, but the question is important alone."
"You mean more than just caring about your fellow man," Dinah assumed.
"Yes, people are good to care for and keep each other safe, I think, but who is your brother's keeper? I say, a man is not his brother's keeper, because his parents are his brother's keepers. If they give him the task to be responsible, and if the brother is not, that is one thing, but in the relationships of family, siblings, sisters, and brothers are very different from between parents and children."
"…You're saying he sees me as more of a sister, and I should do the same? There's not a big difference between the two, Renka."
I shook my head at her in mock despair. "There is, Dinah. How old is the Green Arrow?"
"…Thirty-two." I paused, because I knew Dinah's age, 24, and I had not expected such an extended distance between them.
"He is a third again your age? And he still now is this much different after you have dated already for three years?"
"I've heard it all before, Renka," she said sourly, folding her arms as I shook my head a bit. " I don't need this from you, too."
"Very well, I will move on; you are adult," I decided, and caught a flicker of her surprise. '
Or maybe I imagined that.' "But Dinah, I make the point that there are eight years between you and the Green Arrow, but only six years between you and the Red Arrow. I now do not know the exact date, but I will wager fifty dollars with you about the age difference is smaller with you and Roy than Artemis and Cheshire."
"Artemis and Cheshire? That's an odd pair to choose," she said, with something….
"You did not know Artemis has told us her sister is Cheshire, yes? Her father is Sportsmaster as well. She told us about her family on Monday, and she said the Green Arrow and the Batman know. I may owe her an apology if you did not," I worried. Dinah shook her head.
"No, no, I knew about that. I just had no idea she told the rest of the Team; she seemed very vehement about the idea before."
"M'gann knew because she read Cheshire's mind, and on Halloween they had a fight because she told Artemis she knew. Artemis already said to Zatanna, M'gann, and I she was not really the Green Arrow's niece, and when M'gann knew and did not hate her, and after I had said her secret was not likely to be more hatred-deserving than my killing, she decided to trust. I met Sportsmaster and Cheshire in China working with the Red Arrow and the Ghost Fox Killer – I now realize what he said hinted at knowing Artemis – so that maybe helped."
Dinah smiled. "I'm very proud she decided to tell the Team her secrets. Everything went over well?"
"You can ask Artemis later, in person," I suggested. "We are here, I think, to talk about you, yes?"
"…I suppose that is why I asked you for help, yes," she chuckled. "Wh-,"
"Returning to you and the Red Arrow," I cut in before she could attempt to redirect, "I have laid out why the Red Arrow would not consider you appropriate for a mother to him, even if you are the primary female figure of influence in his life. The two categories overlap, but they are not... mutually… whatever is the opposite of mutually exclusive," I corrected. Scadrese had a term along the lines of 'mutually inclusive,' but it did not work well in English translation. "The Green Arrow is a mentor and teacher, not a parent. The Red Arrow was a ward and apprentice, but he was not a child when he met the Green Arrow, yes? And he reached first out, not the reverse, like with Artemis?"
"I… yes, that's accurate, although it was more of... more arranged," she informed me.
"But Roy was mostly grown from the beginning," I specified clearly before she could go into details less than relative to the point.
"I'm not certain that fifteen-,"
"Robin is fourteen years, Wally is fifteen, Artemis is fifteen, and Superboy is either sixteen years or four months. Because he fits the best, Wally: if Wally's parents and his uncle the Flash were killed and he was taken in by a new man, do you believe he would-,"
"I take your point," Dinah cut in, grimacing. "I suppose I should give Roy an apology, if I've been part of the problem as well."
I chuckled, certain that my next barb was sure to unsettle her. "Just be careful with awareness of hugging and physical contact when you do. Part of the Red Arrow's problem in rebellion may be that he wishes to compete with the Green Arrow for your affection."
"He
what!" There was a split second where I heard the warble of Dinah's Canary Cry but had yet to feel it, so I tapped weight.
I had also been tapping a shallow draw from my zinc-mind during the conversation; I reflexively drained more to react in time.
The impact still almost tipped me off-balance, but I had increased my weight and braced for it. Dinah would certainly have tumbled me backwards for a dozen paces if she put in the effort, but this was an accident, and because I had caused it I was not upset to endure it.
She fell silent quickly, and I spoke before the pause of fright at her own voice could end.
"I am fine, I expected that, do not feel guilty when I upset you, but I am honest when I say I think it is possible and sensible."
"I-? Renka, I'm very sorry about that, are you-!" I slid out of my chair with steel-mind speed, crossed the distance between us in three steps, and covered her mouth, gently but firmly, with my fingers.
"Dinah, I knew my words would provoke you when I said them, and I am unharmed. The words 'I'm sorry' should not be said to me when I knew what to expect, and before you ask, while I said the words knowing they would upset you and being amused by your reaction, I said them to be honest and serious as well, because it is
possible."
"It's ridiculous," she muttered, but her heart was not in it, while her head was too busy thinking.
"The Red Arrow is eighteen: a legal adult here," I continued over her weak interjection, "and closer than the Green Arrow is to your age. He has, I think, known you almost as long as he has known the Green Arrow, and having the hormones of a young man, he may feel some attraction as well as affection to the beautiful, kind, honorable, and admirable young woman who spends time in his life."
I let that sink into her for a second. Only after I saw her facial expression change did I remove my hand and return to my seat.
"…Oh god," Dinah muttered. I felt a little guilty about messing with her, but it was a genuine possibility.
'
It would even be a disservice to let her continue her interactions and sabotage her own chance to mend bridges as she desires without being aware of this. Granted, I am not at all certain, which I am telling her, but the circumstances fit. …Of course, I also thought that about Artemis being the Green Arrow's out-of-wedlock daughter and dating Robin, and Kaldur'ahm being a clone, but I can tell her that as well.'
"Renka, are you-? On your mother's grave-,"
"On my mother's grave, I swear I consider this to be a legitimate possibility. I may be wrong, but I am not lying. It is still possible I am wrong, as when I believe some ideas I do not re-examine why until I am faced with my mistake. For instance, I also believed that Artemis was the Green Arrow's daughter recently taken in, and her mother was likely a… I believe the term is 'a honey pot,' Shadows agent."
Dinah let out a little laugh/half-sob, her face cradled in her hands. "Oh, 'make your brain melt out your ears,' talk about on target."
"Thank you," I murmured politely. "As the saying is, that 'iodine' stings means it is cleansing, yes?"