Life Ore Death
* July 9 [Catwoman PoV]
I'm Catwoman. You probably know the rest. Best thief in Gotham, one of the top ten in the world, maybe has 'a thing' with Batman that bounces between ON and OFF unpredictably, blah blah blah. And right now, I'm three feet away from the man I most want to kill in the world….
Now, let's be clear about this before we go any further: I am not a good person.
Oh, I've done good deeds, sure, but everyone has done some good in life, if only by accident; at least I'm honest that I do my good deeds to feel good, same as that alien from the TV show:
You let one of them go but that's nothing new. Every now and then a little victim's spared because she smiled, 'cause he's got freckles. 'Cause they begged. And that's how you live with yourself.
It's different for me, having never killed anyone before... but the game is the same even if the stakes are lower.
I burgle, I steal, and I give back bits because it makes me feels good to look in the mirror and know those diamonds or that painting are (in addition to paying for my penthouses, travel expenses and whatever luxuries I like,) funding shelters like the one that saved me my first few weeks on the streets with Maggie, like a little
just in case I ever go back there.
But I've never killed anyone, for all that I wanted to once or twice. And let's be real here, because even Batman has
wanted to kill a bitch a time or two, and if you don't want to brutally murder scum who'd abduct and rape a 6-year-old for revenge on her family, then there's something wrong with you.
That was back at the turn of the century, sort of the pivot point between
cat burglar and
Catwoman for me; I left them alive then because getting her out was more important than vengeance, plus I was pretty sure her parents would take their pound of flesh for me lickety-split.
Now, fucking
kneeling on cold stone before the fucking
throne Bane has set up, I don't have that excuse.
"Ah, Señor
Trogg, please, strict formalities are inappropriate here," Bane says to the thug who'd forced me to one knee after bringing me in; it seems I'm expected to 'pay my respects' to the 'king,' or something like that. "Señorita Kyle is a respected peer, who has given Batman the slip for many years, long before I set foot in this fair city." He starts walking closer, down the steps. "Granted, much of her
activity here is less successful, with his interference… but that is no reason to make her kneel."
'
If he touches me, I'm going to kill him. I'll reach right up like I'd stroke his face before a kiss, touch a finger to his jaw, get my claw behind his ear, and open up his throat. I've cut glass, I've scratched metal; fast and hard and I can probably get his ear artery and his jugular in one go, and then I'll start running before the troglodyte can gun me down. My suit's reinforced with Bruce's materials and I'm fucking fast, so I can take a shot from a handgun or two no problem. And that'll be that.'
None of my thoughts are on my face, of course. I don't even think there
is an expression that can convey my utter loathing for this putrid waste of flesh in front of me, smirking of so smugly as I get to my feet. I don't take his hand when he offers it, or else I'd scratch him.
I keep smiling like the brainless bimbo thugs take me for, on the basis of my gender, my sociability (I'm a rising
socialite, people, that's how I meet most of my marks), my three sizes, my tight outfit, and my saucy whip.
"What's supposed to be going on here?" I ask Bane carefully, trying to keep my eyes on his face instead of his neck. "I only just got back in Gotham, and the city's up and changed on me again." True enough. "I heard you're claiming responsibility for a bunch of what else has been happening in the world, plus I saw your announcement on TV." Also true. "Was that the Bat? I've never seen him in broad daylight. He looked so… human." A lie, and a dangerous one, doubly so because Bane knows my name.
Despite gossip about our trysts, Batman and Catwoman have never been confirmed as cooperating, and we've staged more than a few violent fights to keep it that way. Half the crazies in Gotham may have had to team up with Batman once or twice for a pet project or that one enemy that really got to someone, but if word got out about our
actual truce, much less the fact that I've broken into a few Gotham gangsters' places on Bat-business to help him, I'd have a million-dollar bounty on my day in two days.
Selina Kyle and Bruce Wayne, however, have been sporadically dating since before I figured out his identity; crashing a Wayne Gala to steal few hairs while lip-locking him was how I got a DNA sample to compare with the blood I'd clawed off Batman.
Speaking of, the suit Batman had been in when Bane threw him off a fucking
roof—the creep is laughing at my comment right now, so I'm safe silently monologuing until he stops, don't worry—had
looked like one of the ones with a booby-trapped cowl to protect his identity, but I wasn't certain. If Bane knew about Bruce Wayne, and knew about Selina Kyle dating him… well, the best outcome was him assuming Batman had used me as one of his rotating cast of bedmates without my knowledge.
The worst outcome would be me needing to slash his throat before he snapped my neck.
'
Aaaaand the laughter's dying down, so I need to be ready to run,' I assess as Bane finishes his chuckling.
"Indeed, Señorita Kyle, he is very human," Bane answers, wiping away… I don't even know there's a tear or if he's just doing the gesture. "I have broken the Bat, leaving only the man, an empty shell of himself. All it needs now is time for everyone to acknowledge this."
"You may not have a lot of that," I warn. "I've heard the gossip, and a lot of people are claiming or being assigned responsibility for this, but you're near the top of the list. Honestly, I'm impressed the army hasn't hit Gotham yet to track you down."
"Now that the dust is settling, it is not difficult for a few key figures to argue that military resources are best spent on the innocent lives endangered so recently, leaving my capture to other figures. Rumors abound placing me in Santa Prisca, in Brazil, in Europe, in New York… my last appearance was televised in Gotham, but I have been 'seen' elsewhere since. Oh, I intend to leave eventually, sí," he continues while pacing around the throne room and gesturing grandly, "but Gotham is mine to capture and to keep, so I must keep it."
"Keep it against the army? Against the Justice League?" I ask, before I let myself appear to realize the possibilities. "Oh! Although, you did just do everything and all that, so you've clearly got a lot of resources, and if Superman could get shot-,"
"
Exactly," Bane purrs, turning back to face me. "Before I go, I have a few… tasks, for you, and a proposition."
"Ooh," I purr silkily as I tilt my head and smirk, but on the inside, my skin
crawls, because I know exactly what he's thinking.
"I have a list," Bane continues, producing a flash drive from a pouch on the belt he's wearing—he's clearly trying to imitate Batman's utility belt, but 'hardcore,' and he's failing—and offering it to me. "These are items I desire, and if you procure them from Gotham's various businesses and museums within the next three days, I will pay you two-hundred thousand dollars for each of them. For a thief of your underappreciated skills, I doubt you have ever seen such a payday."
"My, my, my," I murmur as I take the drive and pretend to eye it greedily. '
Should I lick my lips? Drool a little? …Yes to the first, no to the second.' I lick my lips. '
Moron. Just because in Gotham, with Batman watching, my activities tend to vary between $20,000 and $100,000 tops in payoff, that doesn't mean I haven't made millions in my heists elsewhere. I tracked and stole back the supposed Shroud of flipping Turin when those "Cult of Skath" creeps burgled it away. If I hadn't given the Church a nostalgia discount, I bet I could've charged them a quarter-billion for that at least!'
"Whatever you do or do not procure—and I have hired others to bring me these as well, Catwoman, do not worry about deadlines so soon—I will be leaving Gotham in four days," Bane continues smugly, and it's a fight to keep my eyes (and my claws,) away from his neck as every memory of
us screams at me to explode and slaughter the pig, (his eyes are on me, and not on my face, either,) gunmen or no gunmen. "And I give you this proposition. When I broke Batman, I also learned that he had, how you say, a
squeeze."
"Oh, really." I purse my lips and shift my weight, like I hadn't heard about Talia the week after she showed up again.
It had been… frustrating (though that word paled compared to how I felt now, full of fury and unwilling to vent it yet,) to think of Bruce and her, but we had explicitly never been exclusive, and me, married? No thank you, not with the itch in my feet.
I'd have liked a husband less likely to die on me, for that matter, if I ever had one, but that was neither here nor there.
"Indeed. A 'baby mama,' I believe the term is colloquially," Bane continues, and I just
chill.
'
He knows about Talia. He knows about Bruce Wayne. Fuckfuckfuck Jesus H. Christ how has he not killed me yet? It… The Shadows, Talia's father used to lead them, and she- she came to Gotham fleeing an arranged marriage. Fuck. But I'm still breathing…? Okay. He doesn't know that I know about Bruce Wayne,' I reason as I start to gesture my understanding of the term to Bane. '
No, wait, I need to say something.'
"I wouldn't have thought he had it in him," I comment skeptically. "Although why would explain why I instigated all our flirting."
'
Is there anything we've done as Batman and Catwoman that could be pinned to me? No, no, I don't think so, or else I wouldn't even be getting this job offer, he'd just grab me. He… Talia was fleeing… I see… Selina, focus girl, focus on the drive so you don't slash him.'
I turn my eyes to the drive to seemingly distract myself from supposedly realizing that I'm the other woman here.
Morons who get off on cat fights just eat that shit up.
"Indeed. Myself, I would like to offer you a
position, Catwoman," Bane declares amiably, and I pout to keep from frowning or gagging as his voice makes clear what positions he imagines me in. "My organization has need of skilled operatives, and greater need of skilled teachers, to say nothing of those who lead. Come with me, and I can offer you power, offer you authority," he proposes, and as he reaches for me I hold up one clawed finger in a stop gesture, because I might actually gouge his eyes out and die happy if he presses.
"For?" I ask, focusing my eyes on the sharp tip of my shiny claw.
"For your work beside me, mostly relating to matters in which you are undoubtedly experienced. Nothing taxing," Bane assures me, "and I expect we will enjoy working together. You get the respect that has been lacking in your life, the authority of a queen, the ability to carry out heists of which you could only dream… Rewards far beyond the mere freedom to leave the city when Batman captured you."
And abruptly, my seething stops.
Inside, I'm just still, like pop gone flat or a lead-filled something-something.
'
Yup, he just accused me of whoring myself to Batman when he "caught me" after my heists in Gotham so Bruce would set me free.' I nod once and smile pleasantly, giving Bane the slow once-over as I think. '
I guess evil really can't comprehend good, or at least Bane can't get that Bruce Wayne would castrate himself before he took advantage of anyone offering a deal like that, let alone proposed it. The man sleeps with maybe 10% of the women he's rumored to have tumbled, and that only after—How did that model describe it?—after knowing them for multiple years, and I think she said he'd maybe still refused her until she'd had at least two contracts with companies unrelated to Wayne Enterprises for abuse of power reasons. Something? Damn I had a lot to drink that night. Pity.' I shake my head fondly before I come back to the present.
"Three days and other people already working on it?" I summarized saucily with a little pose. "Well, I'd better get on this… and you'd better be ready to celebrate when I get back with everything. Permission to leave, your majesty?"
Bane laughs again, and I let him shake my hand—no scratching—and I even peck his cheek before one of his goons shows me outside.
I spend the journey memorizing the trip blindfolded, so I know where I can find him again, and then I break into a hotel room to think.
I have my apartment, but if Bane knows Selina Kyle is Catwoman, then he might have bugged it.
I pull out my (Bat-guaranteed unhackable, but now that feels so much less secure than it used to,) mobile and skim my contacts.
I never call Bruce directly; he's too busy with meetings during the day, or with 'parties' at night. I always call Alfred directly.
Alfred hasn't answered my texts or call back after either of my voicemails.
And Batman is broken.
Fuck.
'
Stopitstopitstopit,' I insist. I bite my lip.
No one's announced that Bruce Wayne is dead, or even injured.
That said, no one's seen Batman since believed-to-be-Ferris grabbed him off the streets, and non-Batman heroes were repeatedly seen in Gotham leading up to that point. I don't know if Wayne Manor is safe. Or the Batcave. And Superman was shot and bleeding.
Yes, the Justice League is supposedly okay now, but no one's announced whether the ones missing from public view are dead or missing or crippled or what the fuck it could be. All the normal lines are inundated with calls because everything, and the private lines I can access are potentially suspect because Bane knows Bruce Wayne is Batman.
Then, there's the drive. It could be a tracker, it could be a bomb….
'
First, I find a public device or an isolated system and I see what Bane says he wants,' I decide. '
Next, I make of show of casing places as appropriate and I keep my ear to the ground about Dick Grayson, Robin, Bruce Wayne, that other kid—I think his name was Jason—or that Batgirl girl who started up recently, or any of the Justice League. Find them, tell them, get it done with quickly.'
I could really use a shower and a nap, but I don't think I'll feel safe for weeks after this, so I order a coffee after I leave.
It's not much, but I've run on less, so it'll have to do for me.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
* July 10 [Overview]
A dozen crooks from the Red River and the Wolf Fang gangs were in a warehouse, dividing up the cash from their takes.
It was early days for the alliance, but they'd scored a superb take from one of the trucks sent around to swap out ATM cash supplies.
Marcus "Road Rage" Fischer of the Wolf Fangs wasn't happy to be counting out a cut for Bane, but the man had been the one to rope a bunch of low-level bosses together and toss them some unconventional ideas for cash.
Plus, he'd broken a bunch of guys out of the clink, including Marcus's brother, and while they didn't always get along, kin was kin.
The lights cut out.
"Bats!" Marcus shouted. He ducked down while grabbing as much as the cash as was salvageable. This would be his third time in a bat ambush, and Marcus figured himself something of a thinker: Batman had a habit of dropping from ceilings and stringing people upside-down, plus knee joints were vulnerable and the table would protect him from night-vision. "Lights on!"
Another trick Bane had used to buy the Gotham underground's loyalty, rather than just its fear, was the distribution of miner-style hard hats and clip-on flashlight attachments for guns.
No more fighting blind or shooting at shadows for these crooks, no siree.
Four beams of light flipped on and began scanning around, especially toward the warehouse ceiling. More quickly joined them.
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR… … …KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
"Da fuck's dat sound?" asked one thug.
"Darth Vader on a speaker," Marcus recognized immediately. He swept his gun/flashlight around. "He's just trying to freak us out."
"He's just trying to distract you," a young boy's voice corrected from somewhere. "~Ten little Indian boys~ went out to dine~!"
"Keep your focus," Marcus reminded them. "Pete, Ripper, get the rest of the cash off the table." Then, because it wouldn't do to look like a coward in front of the boys, he added, "Hank, get down here with me; we're aiming at kneecaps and keeping our eyes on the floor."
*
Thump!*
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
"~One got grabbed~ and then there were nine~!" the young boy – it had to be Robin, for sure – sang eerily.
"Shit," someone whispered. "Where's Hank?"
A murmur swept through the group.
Before Marcus could quiet them, before he could think, a shrill
scream tore through the warehouse.
"Hank?" one gangster managed as they all edged closer to panic.
"Oh, don't worry fucktards, that wasn't Hank," Robin faux-assured them. His words were quickly followed by the wet tearing sounds of meat, and by what the experienced gangsters knew was the crunch of breaking bones. "Now
that was Hank. ~Nine little Indian boys went off to search for heaven~! Two met the Devil, and then there were seven~!"
"Hey, dat's not-,"
The speaker never got to finish his sentence or complain about the butchering of the rhyme. Marcus did a quick head count.
Him plus six equaled seven.
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR… … …KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
"The Bat got broken!" he shouted in defiance from under the table. "I was there! We all saw it! Bane tossed him off the roof!"
"Yeah, well, so did Anakin Skywalker," the voice of Robin dismissed.
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR… … …KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
"Fuck," Marcus laughed, but he didn't close his eyes. "Are you trying to say Batman's some Cyborg now?" That drew a laugh.
"
Man, you're fuckin' gullible. How's about, Bane never broke Batman, he just got a good lookalike in a cowl while the Bat was off beating up Satan for turf infringement," Robin riposted, and Marcus mentally shouted down the part of his head that actually considered it. "'Course, Batman wasn't too happy, but it wasn't Mister Shaw's fault he got taken advantage of. Modern medicine can do a lot of crazy things, and when you back it up by selling your soul… well, long story short, I get to break in my new pseudo-brother while Batman takes Bane."
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
"There!" someone shouted, and all the gangsters started shooting.
And shooting.
And shooting some more.
"Guys, guys! Can it," Marcus ordered when a few men stopped to reload. "It's just a dummy."
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
"Hey, who you callin' a dummy, shit fer brains?" Robin demanded as the shadow shifted.
It stepped into view.
The figure was tall, male, tightly muscled, and completely covered in enough shiny black armor for it to be an insect's exo-skeleton.
Or a robot's chasis.
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
"Oh god oh god oh
god its
eyes," one man moaned. The spiky-eared mask-helmet was smooth and featureless, except…
In place of slits for eyes or a mouth, it had metal shapes attached.
Small metal Bat sigils, just shiny enough to reflect a bit of light, glinted at the frozen gunmen from the mask.
"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way," Robin offered. "Which do ya want?
Don't," he added, "pull that trigger."
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
The armored figure folded its arms to wait, and Marcus heard the whir of hydraulics as it moved. He took his finger off the trigger.
"Wh-what," he managed, unwilling to fight a
fucking combat assault cyborg or crazy shit, "are the options? Uh, Robin?"
"Option one: you guys go outside to the shiny police van and get buckled in for a lonnnng drive to the nearest solid prison. Leave your guns here, but bring the money along, hand it over to 'em," Robin lectured. "Option two: I finish my rhyme and we go hit the next gang of crooks. The song's next line goes: ~Seven little Indian boys got mowed down to five~! Then they crossed Black Bat and none were left alive~!"
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…* The figure objected, turning its head sharply in one direction. Then it reached around and pulled out-
"No," Robin's voice stated flatly. "I don't care
how much of you is made of metal now, we are not calling you Metal Bat. We are not calling you Metal Bat, we are not calling you Baseball Bat, and like
fuck are we calling you Aluminum Baseball Bat! You're. Black. Bat."
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
Ordinarily, the exchange and the sight of the figures arguing – one audible but invisible, and one gesturing wordlessly as it insisted on its name of choice in silence – might have been reassuring enough for Marcus to take a shot.
Ordinarily, metal baseball bats weren't obviously dented and bloody, as though it had been used already, repeatedly.
The bat in Black Bat's hand, however, was very bloody.
And dented.
And had been used heavily within the past hour or two.
"Look," Robin continued with an aggrieved sigh, "I fucking
get it man, you used to coach little league before all this shit, I understand! But now you gotta understand that you're an immortal enemy of all crime, and you need a creepy name to go with it!"
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
"I only got named Robin cause when crooks tried to ask, 'who th' fuck are you, what are you doing here,' I kept wanting to answer that I was robbin' them of their wicked hopes and dreams, but Batman kept punching them out a few words in! I had a totally badass name picked out about all the blood shed stained my shirt red, an'-! Guys, back me up here," Robin requested of the robbers in the warehouse.
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
The figure – whom Marcus had now mentally named Black Bat – turned and tapped the metal bat in its palm.
"I… think I'm going to side with the guy who can beat me up," Marcus croaked honestly through his dry throat. "We give."
"Great! Guns down and go out now. The last two guys are still alive and cuffed, but ya won't see the other three again," Robin mentioned. "Ever. Sorry, but that's the price of being slow. Oh! Any of ya got any information ta help us out? Bane's stupid good at hiding."
*
KHOOOOH PUUUHRR…*
"I… think there's something to find at the old Civic Center?" Marcus tried. "Look, I'm just going to put my gun down and go."
His men muttered similar assurances, and they put down their firearms.
"Puddles?" one man mentioned, splashing into a bit of water at the group's feet.
"If you asshats like sleepin' at night, then you don't wanna know
anything about the Weepin' Woman," Robin dismissed. "Just go."
"Right sir," one of the five still standing said.
Carefully, they picked their way across the dark room to the door and-
The door swung open and the men all screamed to see Black Bat standing on the other side, staring down an unwise gangster.
The figure blurred, and then the armored figure held a pistol in his hands, pointed nowhere, as the target screamed in terror.
"When I
told ya ta leave the fuckin' guns, I meant
all of them, dipshits!" Robin berated from behind the crooks.
Black Bat made the 'eyes on you' gesture at the careless crook, but nothing more; he bent and jumped up, reaching the roof in one leap.
"…God," Marcus whimpered as he looked down to the two policemen waiting by the school bus sized prison transport. "Why'd I ever come to Gotham? I had it good in Bludhaven."
"Not for much longer you wouldn't," Robin warned smugly, and then the voice was gone.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
* July 10 [Garth PoV]
After I collected the theatrical speakers with tentacles of manipulated water – I later counted and realized that I had missed one, but I was in a hurry to share my news – we 'rendezvoused' on the roof to discuss.
My eyes itched from the oily Anomalops Ointment I had smeared on, but I resisted rubbing it off, as it let me see with minimal light.
"That was fuckin'
awesome," the youngest member of Squad Delta, currently 'Robin Hood,' cheered as he met me up top.
"You are not supposed to be using such language, 'Robin Hood,'" I chided on behalf of 'Black Bat,' who was unable to speak at the moment. '
More to the point…' "I have news: Beta Squad encountered one 'Catwoman,' an associate of Batman's, and she claims to know Bane's location." The youngest of we three teammates brightened. "Alpha Squad will be by with Bela soon," I finished, and he drooped.
"What! I- but-! It's not even midnight!" 'Robin Hood' complained. "You said I could keep going until midnight!
Please," he begged.
<We're not stopping, > Superboy said over our comm link as Bela opened her lower portal. <You can stay up. >
<Not
technically your decision, > Robin countered, as Miss Martian lifted us up with her telekinesis, <but I agree. I want you there when we win this, Jay-bird. If we do this before dawn, I'll still let you stay up all night to watch what happens, so stay traught, okay? >
"ThankyouthankyouYES!" the youngest present cheered as soon as we were in Bela and our sounds were shielded.
"Well, aren't you the enthusiastic one," purred an unfamiliar woman.
'
She would not be here if she was a danger,' I reminded myself before I could fill my channels. "I assume you are Catwoman?"
"Careful," she teased. "When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me."
I blinked. '
Another person who likes puns,' I sighed. '
Still she is… quite attractive. I cannot remember whether it was horses, donkeys, or that other one that could be called an ass.' "You are far too beautiful to be mistaken for a... farm animal," I offered with a polite bow instead.
"Yeah, but that doesn't tell us who you are," Jason complained. "Hey, can we trust her?" he called.
"She might steal some silverware or pick your pocket if you piss her off, but Batman and Catwoman have had a deal for a few years now," Robin called back from his huddle with Aqualad and Ferris. '
That was fast,' I noted, having failed to see her shed the Black Bat armor.
"I'm not really one to get wet, so I figure your pockets are safe enough, pretty boy. And
you must be Jay-bird."
"Ain't shakin' hands when your
claws are on," he complained as I settled against one wall to watch curiously.
She clearly held no interest in me, but until Tula's squad was collected or Kaldur finished his discussion I had little better to do.
"Wise child" Catwoman chuckled, removing her glove. "I suppose you'd need to be, on the streets."
Jason wrinkled his nose at her. "What'd you know about it? You reek of money," he accused.
Catwoman chuckled. "Oh, my mother worked for a living, I assure you, and I spent some time homeless on the streets after I… after. I may not have earned all my money legally, but I've worked for much more than I was given. You ever swing by the Rosie Cheeks Shelter?"
Jason perked up. "Mom- Mom brought me there once when Dad was… worse'n usual. We swung by 'round Thanksgiving a lot."
"You're welcome," Catwoman said. He still didn't shake her hand, but she handed Jason something small and he examined it.
That was about when Tula arrived, and I moved my attention to her instead.
"You look… stressed," I settled on, still less than certain about some words in English but unwilling to switch to Atlantean first.
"Oh yes," she sighed, and I stood to embrace her. "That water is…
fetid," she murmured in our native tongue.
"Robin informs me that it has greatly improved in the past years, with laws about pollution," I informed her drily the same way. '
It is enough to understand the isolationists' motivations, if not their methods. All the same, it is improving, and in time it may become tolerable. '
"That is
after it has improved? Eugh," she murmured with a shudder. "The bay must have been utterly toxic."
"If you feel so sullied, I will be happy to help you wash off again," I murmured.
Tula gave a pleasant sigh, having come to greatly enjoy certain aspects of surface life, such as hot showers and the accompanying blow-driers. She nestled into me, and I loved her far too much to let her realize that she still held the trace smell and feel of the filthy water.
"Everyone, Team meeting time! Plus Catwoman, obviously," Robin called, so Tula and I parted to attend.
No one commented on the exclusion of Artemis, who was still bed bound after suffering severe blood loss, but her absence hung heavily over us all in the empty space between Kid Flash and Magelet.
"Okay, enough," Catwoman declared as we all gathered around. "I've been very patient, but the fact that we're doing this without Batman is scaring me. Where is he, what
happened, and how much should I regret not slitting Bane's throat when I had the chance?"
"Eh, we'll get him good," Rocket promised from the pilot's chair.
"Do not regret," Ferris dismissed. "Death would be convenient, but we are acting on the Batman's behalf, yes?"
Catwoman grimaced. "Right. Robin. What's safe to say right now, where is Batman… start talking," she said, looming slightly.
I did not expect my Team's second-in-command would cave to such a demand, but it seemed I knew little of Catwoman's position in Gotham.
"Right. Don't freak out, but when Bane beat Batman, B ended up in a coma with a… a b-broken vertebrae, in his back, plus a bunch more stuff. He won't die, but he hasn't woken up yet. Agent A also got beaten pretty badly, because Bane got in through the Bat-cave; he has a broken leg and he's concussed. T… it wasn't her
fault, but she feels guilty for a lot of it, she got overwhelmed, and she's in not great shape.
"Gotham's in chaos, Bane's behind it, and it seems like Bane is stepping up to take over for Ra's al Ghul, so we want to get him good before he leaves Gotham to go international. If that isn't enough, we want to make it seem like Batman beat Bane, and if we can fool Bane into thinking it, that's better. We want to get Gotham calmed down and tress everyone, and we think we can make it look like B's around.
"Beta squad is me, Superboy, and Miss Martian," he introduced. "I know the city, I can coach them, and they can put up a good imitation of Batman, Batgirl, and Robin smashing criminals.
"Alpha squad is Aqualad—he's our leader, by the way, so no fish jokes—Rocket, Wolf, and Bela playing mission control.
"Gamma Squad is Batgirl, Cerulean, and Kid Flash handling the docks and smuggling.
"Delta Squad is Jay-bird pretending to be Robin, Ferris masquerading as some combat cyborg called Black Bat or something, and Tempest behind the scenes running watch while he handles special effects as they take down criminals in creepy ways.
"Epsilon Squad is Magelet, Bumblebee, and Jericho working on spreading all kinds of crazy rumors over the streets and stuff.
"We basically want Batman to be seen as much as we can manage and for crime to get a huge bite taken out of it. But we really, really want to get Bane in the next few days, and if you've got any leads we'll take it, because B will not be happy if Bane is running around still."
"Quick question," Catwoman said. "If Bane knows Batman's identity, how are you going to keep him from spilling when you arrest him? Yes, you've got some shape-shifter or someone impersonating…
him in news appearances, but people can figure that out."
"That's…" Robin looked hesitant, and I wondered whether he had a plan.
"I will take care of that," Ferris said simply. There was absolutely no malice, nor threat, nor even any solemnity as she said it; her tone was the same as when she had volunteered to clear the table and do our dishes after lunch.
A shiver wound its way down my spine, and I wondered if I had just heard a death sentence passed.
'
...Probably not,' I judged on second thought, as I had never really known her to follow through on her rumored predilections, '
but it feels ominous.'
"Ferris," Kaldur murmured warningly.
"
Rusts, non-lethally," she promised with a dramatic roll of her eyes. "I have the paperwork to immediately transfer Bane from Gotham and authorization to perform the transporting with the Globe. He will be in Belle Reve's high-security, and we can discuss other options from there. Personally, I expect some form of bind spell on his speech, but-," She grimaced. "-we may resort to mental interference if not. We will discuss it, but later."
"Okay then. …I'm going to want to see him, and Agent A, and even T for that matter," Catwoman insisted, "but I'll tell you what I know. I flew over as soon as I heard about Batman on the news, and I made some noise as Catwoman. Bane – and it was creepy how quickly he found my hiding spot, he's well connected – sent some men with a 'formal invitation' to meet me. He wanted to recruit me, said he'd pay me to steal some things, ensure I got far more than 'whatever pittance you see from selling trifles,' the arrogant pig-fucker. He also made a come-on, and I almost slit his throat for that plus everything," she seethed in a fury. "I want to see him
bleed for this."
'
I might not understand what part of this in particular offended her, but I am not averse to "putting the boot in," as Rocket referred to it,' I agreed silently. '
Perhaps not personally, but I would happily hold him still for my friends to take turns… Provided Ferris remained non-lethal. Although, I must admit, I have not seen much of the behavior My Queen warned us she may demonstrate. Perhaps she was being overly cautious, or testing to see how we reacted. I cannot believe she would trust Prince Artur with anyone too potentially dangerous,' I reflected.
"You were brought to meet him? Did it appear to be a base, or an expendable hideout?" Kaldur inquired.
"Definitely a base, with that fucking throne thing he set up. All iron and stone and
eugh," Catwoman complained. "But yes, I know where it is, I know how to get in again, and if you'll give me two hours at a public library or city hall I can tell you a lot more about it."
"Please begin with the location, and we will work from there," Kaldur requested. Catwoman smiled wickedly and began.
