Well I mean, a tabletop game isn't exactly gonna be Frontpage news, but they are gonna want to know who's the best. So the mainstream newspapers will no doubt publish the winner, but I'm thinking we pick a smaller paper and subsidize a limited run of a full multi-page edition detailing the exact moves for hobbyists to pick over.
Well I mean, a tabletop game isn't exactly gonna be Frontpage news, but they are gonna want to know who's the best. So the mainstream newspapers will no doubt publish the winner, but I'm thinking we pick a smaller paper and subsidize a limited run of a full multi-page edition detailing the exact moves for hobbyists to pick over.
Maybe later, when this is a full scale hobby with thousands of devotee (as a minimum).
But definitely not now when this is the first time and it could show any foe each marshall strength, weakness and favorite tactics. ANy notes taken should be secrets (and a juicy target for foreign spies)
The officers of II Corps sit clustered around a table poring over the various notes and rulebooks.
"All right men, this is the latest set of rules and expansions for the war game Therese issued to the marshals earlier today. This notebook has the comments made by the other marshals- their complaints and confusion- that I was able to overhear and jot down. The original was practically chicken scratch, so Cazerne here was kind enough to help me copy them out more legibly. For example, Kellerman's an old hand, so expect his decisions and orders to be crisp and efficient, but he's had little to no experience with units of riflemen. The only officers with any notable experience at all were those of us in the Army of Naples. Murat might not have noticed, what with his obsession with his horsies, but you can bet Nick has explained their capabilities to Desaix and Soult."
"Not that I'm not glad to get the rules as soon as they are available, but why must we meet in my apartment, Severin?"
"It's because "Sheelie" here, to use Charlie's nickname, is too cheap to rent an apartment of his own, so we're using yours."
"Hey! Screw you, "Heckie," you're staying with me, same with Abel and Perrot!"
"And Poplin, where the hell have you been staying? It's been near impossible to get messages to you! I hope you won't be like this with your dragoons while we're on campaign!"
"Sorry 'bout that Cazerne! I just can't say no when an attractive woman invites me to spend the night with her!"
"And you couldn't bother to forward that address to headquarters?"
"Well, it's not like it's the same woman every night! I can't help it if so many ladies take such a liking to me, can I?"
"Ugh, you pig. Stay away from my niece, she's only fourteen. She doesn't have anyone else to look after her, so I've no choice but to bring her with me."
"Ahaha, not to worry, Cazerne, I prefer my women more... full-figured, if you know what I mean."
"Ugh, gross! Stop waggling your eyebrows like that, you'll give me nightmares!"
"Oh, got something to say, Fontenot? You've been mighty quiet up 'til now."
"I've just been watching you cram your foot in your mouth. Did you choke on your spurs?"
"Enough! We're here to practice our war game skills and plan out our operations for when we deploy to the Netherlands! Now, Circle of Brotherhood! Johnny, Poppy, Fonty, arms over your neighbor's shoulders. This is our Circle of Brotherhood. The men in this circle are your brothers. I don't demand you get along, but all of us are in this together. Men will live or die on our orders, and if we cannot trust in one another to have each other's backs in battle, then we might as well resign and let men willing to work together have our positions. Brothers can quarrel or rib each other all the time, but when everything is on the line, we all stand together, or we all fall separately. So true in me to give you good orders, and I will trust in you to carry them out to the best of your ability. Trust in your brothers to support each other, and we will triumph over those who are willing to sabotage their peers to win prestige and glory. After all, we are all fighting for France and her people!"
"Great sentiment and all, Marshal Severin, but why am I Poppy? Can't I be called something manlier?"
"If you don't want to be called Poppy, then I could always go with Olive or 'Lin?"
"Uh, Poppy is fine! But why not Pops?"
"That's what my wife calls my father. If you'd-"
"No, no! Question retracted! Poppy it is! I'm not an old man, I'm not!"
"And you, Fontenot? I could call you Ferd, or Notty?"
"No sir! I'm fine as is!"
"Good, now-"
"Severin, I've heard why Bouchard, Geroux and Poplin cannot host us, but not why you, Cazerne or Fontenot are unable to."
"I'll answer, sir. General Bernadotte, as a Major, I am currently quartered in communal housing with multiple other artillery officers, so my place of residence is unsuitable."
"As for me, do you really want to discuss military matters in front of my niece? She's good with numbers and has a sharp memory, but she's not inclined to violence and now I know to keep Poplin away from her."
"Understood. Severin-"
"My beloved wife is pregnant-"
"Congratulations!"
"Congrats, boss!"
"'Grats, chief!"
"Best wishes."
"My condolences!"
"Stop that, Poppy! Just because you're terrified of committed relationships doesn't mean Severin is as well!"
"Ahem, while that may be, I don't understand how that is relevant-"
"Johnny, as you will learn one day, pregnant women can have sharp mood swings, Mon Soleil especially. Unless you're used to her without them, I'll not risk your lives at her mercurial whims. The best way to describe her... she's like a giant, beautiful human-shaped cat. She might be indifferent one moment, affectionate the next, then turn vicious without warning."
"I think we can handle some hurtful words, Severin."
Severin's face takes on a haunted look, his eyes staring unseeing into the distance.
"No, you don't get it. My wife fought in the Americans' Independence War, she had killed dozens of men in the last year of their war, far more men than I before I fought at Mayence. She will also ruthlessly take advantage of inattention. When she was pregnant with Charlie, as her form of "awareness training," she threw kitchen knives at my head. So many close shaves, so many holes in the walls that needed to be patched. Ahem! So trust me, I'm doing this for your safety."
Severin's officers just stare at him in disbelief for a long moment, before Poplin breaks the silence.
"And you had sex with that? Don't you know you're not supposed to stick your di-"
Cazerne slaps his hand over Poplin's mouth before he insults the marshal's wife.
"Hahaha! She might be too much of a woman for you, then Poppy! She can pop a man's head at 200 yards, or strangle him up close, and she can go all night long. Why wouldn't I love her? Don't be like that bastard Lannes, who prefers women interested only in looks, status and money!"
Severin's officers share a long look, before Bernadotte, their unanimously elected spokesman, diplomatically shared what they were all thinking.
"Thank you for your... foresight and consideration, Severin. Shall we get back to it? What exactly are the new rules for riflemen?"
The title is an obvious reference, though there are no dead bodies, thanks to Severin's foresight. Severin may be an honorable sort on the battlefield, but when he's prepping to gain an advantage, he's a cheating cheater who cheats. Severin is an RTS tactical AI, after all. Cheaty buffs and deathball doomstacks.
Sheelie and Heckie are Charlie's nicknames from this omake. Cazerne's niece is an expy of Frederica Greenhill from Legend of the Galactic Heroes. Poplin is an expy of a Legend of the Galactic Heroes character of the same name. He is a young Lt Colonel in charge of II Corp's dragoon regiment. While he is an unrepentant playboy, he does what he can for those under his command. Whether sharing his questionable wisdom or challenging someone who insults his subordinates, he often speaks before he thinks.
Ferdinand Fontenot is an OC, the Major in charge of II Corp's artillery. He is laid-back, reserved and respectful, but with a laconic wit. In battle or when his blood is up, he's loud and energetic, barking orders and shouting encouragement and curses in equal measure. When pressed on his shifting behavior, he says that he's saving his energy for when it counts.
And more evidence that Severin's wife is terrifying and deadly. But in the immortal words of Spike Spiegel: View: https://youtu.be/wJGE0dFakCU
Adhoc vote count started by Magoose on Dec 2, 2021 at 12:15 PM, finished with 67 posts and 29 votes.
[X]Brian Auclair: Your Brother, your protector for most of your life, and possibly the last person that would wish to become an autocratic monarch of Italy. You know for a fact, he would have started a republic if Napoleon had deemed that from him. But you consider that if you support him, he would have a greater chance than the others for becoming King. The thing that troubles you, is this: His loyalty to the Revolution, to the ideas that it champions, along with his independent attitude, and ability to say no to Napoleon… may cause a great deal of friction between him and Napoleon. He is a masterful administrator, a brilliant soldier, and a capable General. And the fact he is a Frenchman, not Italian… well that can cause a great deal of trouble, to the more nationalistic of the Italians.
[X]Joseph Bonaparte: Napoleon's brother. Possibly the only administrator that you consider Napoleon's equal in administrative and legal matters. He may have been a republican, but he is loyal to his brother. You don't know too much about him personally, but you know he is someone who takes his work very seriously. A man who can do the best for the Italian people, and for Napoleon. The best of both worlds.
[X] Brian Auclair: Your Brother, your protector for most of your life, and possibly the last person that would wish to become an autocratic monarch of Italy. You know for a fact, he would have started a republic if Napoleon had deemed that from him. But you consider that if you support him, he would have a greater chance than the others for becoming King. The thing that troubles you, is this: His loyalty to the Revolution, to the ideas that it champions, along with his independent attitude, and ability to say no to Napoleon… may cause a great deal of friction between him and Napoleon. He is a masterful administrator, a brilliant soldier, and a capable General. And the fact he is a Frenchman, not Italian… well that can cause a great deal of trouble, to the more nationalistic of the Italians.
Oh boy, uh...well...let's try to not make this into an over one-hundred years early Treaty of Trianon, then. Even if we technically could totally do it.
I advocate for not abusing this Chance. This is a great opportunity to not only neutralize Austria as a threat, but also to potentially turn them to our side.
