The Quiet and the Music
19th of October 2006 A.D.
In the end you decide not to borrow trouble for Anna, not when you are so new yourself. Still learning alongside J is pleasant enough. He knows quite a bit about magic, if from a perspective that would freak out most sorcerers, but then who are you to argue against power from pain, from the numbness of the body and the stillness of the mind, the thousand little deaths that come with joining a spirit that heralds death's touch? After all you have a demon in your head. Head filled with new knowledge you slip into the embrace of tainted water, into sleep.
We cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence; like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.
The words echo back yo you not in Brother Divisinimar's calm and thoughtful voice, but heavy with hidden meaning. Again and again they come transformed:
We cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence; like spring and summer, they gradually pass away.
Somewhere close, far too close, you hear familiar laughter ringing in the dark, a voice of try crackling wood and eyes that burn with mockery. Did you really think you could get away? Did you really thing you wouldn't pay for your sins little girl? It's cold, colder than you have ever felt before like the darkness is pouring into your veins and yet you are afraid to make light, knowing what it will reveal, ice, the throne and the tree.
Abruptly you wake, heart hammering. It takes a long time before you dare reach for the light.
You are Exhausted: -1 die for all actions
It would be too much to hope that mom does not notice you shamble into the kitchen like a zombie the next day and almost spill the coffee pot in the process and this time she is not satisfied with the mumbled 'bad dreams'. She wants to know what about.
Maybe all of Usum's praise had been working more than you let yourself admit, but it feels wrong to explain how bad it's gotten, to admit weakness, but you force yourself to get the words out. Before you even get halfway to explaining the muddled dream logic mom is hugging you. It feels, nice, comfortable... and then she shivers.
Right, it must feel like hugging a block of ice.
"Sorry mom," you mumble as you struggle free.
"It's alright sweetie," she says instantly.
"You'll catch your death of cold," you manage with a wan smile, a warning she had given you more times than either of you can count. More seriously you add. "I'm working on it now, soon it won't be a problem."
"The... magic coffee has been doing fine for me," she says at last.
"Glad you like it," you answer, your tone saying far more than the words. Two months ago you could not imagine your mother saying the words 'magic' and 'fine' in the same sentence, unless it was 'we'll do fine without the darn magic'.
The other part of the Nightmare-Be-Gone plan is not, alas going to be as easy as brewing the right teas. Much like you cannot get anything more than mildly buzzed off drink that would have left you smashed before an alien crown landed on your head, the teas that would help with balancing the mind of a mortal have about as much impact on you as spring rain has to magnesium fire burning white. According to the old monk your mind and body are fundamentally disconnected in ways that seem to him
deliberate, like the partition doors on a ship so that if water were to flood into one the whole ship does not go down. Good to know in a 'captain of your own mind' sort of way, but not really helpful.
That leaves meditation.
"Tools, herbs, massage, needles, all are external things, so say the Council of the wise and so you know it is," Brother Divsimar proclaims encouragingly and as far as it goes he is right. If only it did not go so
slow.
Balance of Chi Progress: 7/15
And come Halloween I have to meet the Scarecrow's boss again. The prospect makes your stomach twist, half with fear half with anger. As bad as you had fucked up you did not deserve what happened in Arctis Tor, just like none of Winter's other victims deserve what happens to them, but this is the world you live in.
Fuck
***
20th of October 2006 A.D.
You spend some time with your friends over the following days , mostly meandering around the Mall from the food court to the movies to the arcade and once evening comes you even go to the clubs you used to frequent only to find that,most of the people who had known you casually thing you had fallen off the face of the Earth, one guy mentions going to jail for using.
Really? Really? That is what they think of me?
"Lighten up Molly, I think you made him piss himself," Izzy shouts into your ear over the thrum of the music.
"Did not," you roll your eyes as you finish your drink and pull her towards the dance floor. "Come on, lets dance, that guy in the white tshirt has been ogling you all night, at least give him something to watch. He's kind of cute in the shaggy puppy kind of way,"
And he is not a vampire, faerie or other danger to her life and sanity, you add to yourself.
"You think so?" she asks deliberately not looking in the direction so hard she might as well have been staring at him.
"I know so, I am the keeper of the secret lore of the dance," you proclaim.
In this one evening, for this one hour you let go of all your worries and your cares and surrender yourself to the music, like a ship carried where the currents will.
***
22th of October 2006 A.D.
As with all things in life though one can only procrastinate so long though before the need to decide where you want to meet the Wicked Witch of the North. Part of you wishes the Last Station was done, but it's not and it's hard to blame Porter for not wanting to have her in his home when it's still half-ruined. Harry on the other hand had opened his house to you if you want to meet there. With the house empty of jawas for trick-or-treating and Daniel going to a party you could meet her at home like dad had suggested. There's something to the notion of putting Queen Mab under the eye of a even greater power... but the thought of her in the house those
things had invaded last summer doesn't sit right with you.
The only other alternative, the only true neutral ground recognized by the same Accords Queen Mab guarantees is Mac's, but if you are going to consider it you have to scout the place around first. It would be rather rude towards McAnally not to mention any patrons inclined to use the pub as shelter on a dangerous night to drop in with the Queen of Air and Darkness.
Who do you visit McAnally's Pub with?
[] By yourself, you need no introduction but your history
[] With Harry, he's friendly with the owner and pops in from time to time, though most of the regulars are skittish around him
[] Pauline, the various members of the Order of the Cauldron are known here and they are not likely to cause as much of a stir as Harry
[] Your father. Going to a bar with your dad is so uncool you feel like you might spontaneously shapechange into a perfect square, but he has a good reputation at least
[] Lydia, maybe her weirdness will distract from your weirdness and vice-versa
[] Write in
OOC: Initially I thought the roll that made those nightmares was a botch, which is why I made the cut where I did yesterday, but then I remembered that after the last nightmare Molly sleeps under BSM so the DC was only 6 not 7 turning it from a botch 'thinks she is still in the nightmare when awake' into just the fail state of 'you have nightmares'.