A point of clarification: A penalty that is cancelled or negated still exists. If a character has been attacked three times since his last turn, but enjoys the benefits of a Charm that negates onslaught penalties, he still has a -3 onslaught penalty; that penalty is simply not applied - to his defense. It may still be counted for the purposes of, for instance, a Charm that adds damage based on a target's onslaught.
This seems counterintuitive. If a Solar has activated a Charm that allows her to step through a flurry of attacks in a single fluid motion, ignoring all onslaught penalties as she treats every blow as a single blow, why should she take extra damage from an attack that strikes with deadly force against those who've been thrown off-balance by a previous barrage? I suspect this sidebar means you're going to make onslaught penalties into the signature "resource" of the Style, but doing so in this manner undermines the in-universe logic supposedly at play.
BLACK SHARDS FALL LIKE ICE
This Charm enhances an unarmed attack, preventing the onslaught penalty to the target's Defense from fading on his next turn. This effect is cumulative, so that the target may only end these penalties by not being attacked in the first place for one turn. In addition, the character's onslaught penalty now also applies to his withering soak, as well as to any disengage roll. This Charm only affects onslaught penalties inflicted by the martial artist, not to those arising from other characters or circumstances.
I will start by saying that I appreciate the clear split between fluff and rules text. That said, I'm having trouble parsing this effect. In what sense is it cumulative? Does it only apply to the point of penalties caused by
that specific attack, or does it apply an onslaught-sticky tag to the target themselves? Why do you write as though "the target may only end these penalties by not being attacked in the first place for one turn" is a natural extension of Onslaught penalties lasting a turn longer, when it seems a distinct condition?
RIPPLE IN THE SILVERED GLASS
After an attack against her is rolled, the martial artist may roll (Initiative + opponent's onslaught penalty). Each success on the roll negates one success on the opponent's attack roll. If the reduced attack does not meet the user's defense, the attack fails. If all successes are cancelled and the opponent rolled any 1s, the shattering of his reflection causes backlash within the opponent, and he is considered to have botched - the Storyteller adjudicating the consequences of such an effect (dropping one's weapon or falling prone are appropriate effects).
I don't think you really need to state that an attack which doesn't meet Defense fails, do you?
After using this Charm, the user resets to base Initiative and reappears anywhere within close to short range. If the attack was successfully avoided, the user immediately steals an amount of success from her opponent equal to his onslaught penalty, adding them to her base Initiative.
What does "steals an amount of success" mean? Is this from a roll? From their Initiative pool? The attack has already concluded.
Also, this Charm seems kind of strong. I guess that's the whole point, but...
REACHING THROUGH THE MIRROR
With one gesture of her off-hand, the martial artist summons her opponent's reflection, so that every reflective surface around him shows him regardless of angle; with a gesture of her main hand she then strikes through that reflection - and hits true in spite of distance.
Wouldn't you kind of expect a reflective surface around a person to show that person? Do you mean "every reflective surface around
her"?
SHATTERING THE BALANCE
This Charm is a special gambit with a difficulty of 5. If it is successful, the user's target sees his perception of the real shatter like glass; everything he sees is distorted, appearing in duplicates or in fragmented and displaced images. The more pressure his opponent puts on him, the more his vision breaks down. As long as he is under this effect, the victim suffers a penalty to all actions equal to his onslaught penalty, to a limit of the user's Essence or 3, whichever is greater.
I seriously had to double-take here before I noticed that this Style didn't start at Essence 4-odd, like previous SMAs.
Is this penalty itself considered an onslaught penalty, and so ignored by anti-onslaught tech? If not, does it apply to Defenses even with anti-onslaught tech up? If so, does it stack with the actual onslaught penalty when no anti-onslaught tech is present?
OBSIDIAN SHARDS OF INFINITY FORM
A reflective black sheen creeps from the martial artist's fingertips to his elbows as he assumes this stance; shards of reality flock around her, creating a dizzying kaleidoscopic effect that obscures her true reflection. With every swift motion, she seems to be shattering and reforming to and fro.
Gender confusion. Which I guess is appropriate to the visuals at play, but...
THE MIRROR DOES NOT LIE
This Charm constitutes a reflexive decisive clash. However, if the user wins this clash, no damage is inflicted; rather she immediately rolls a gambit at a difficulty of her opponent's Essence. If successful, she instead applies the opponent's attack (with the number of successes it rolled on the clash and any applied Charms) against any target within its range of her own choice, except the opponent himself. Any observing character whose Resolve is less than the successes on her gambit roll is convinced that the final victim of the attack was the intended target all along. This Charm may only be used once per scene.
Just to clarify – you roll a decisive attack against your opponent's decisive attack.
If you succeed, you... get to roll again, against your opponent's Essence.
If you succeed, you... get to apply the
failed attack against the Defense of
another opponent.
I understand what you're going for, but it seems like too many failure states for "haha you stabbed your mum", to be honest. Especially at that cost. It's only ever going to be worthwhile against really spectacular attacks, which you're going to have a hard time beating with a decisive clash in the first place.
VANISHED WITHIN THE GLASS
This Charm may only be used against a character currently suffering the effects of Shattering the Balance. It constitutes a special gambit. If the attack successfully hits, the user does not roll her Initiative; rather she rolls a number of dice equal to the onslaught penalty of her opponent (0s are not doubled). If this roll scores successes equal to or more than the victim's Essence, then he vanishes - absorbed within the mirror-world. If it fails, his onslaught penalty immediately resets.
I genuinely can't tell if this is an OP instakill, or redundant with just punching their heads off in lieu of all this set-up. I suspect that it depends entirely on their Essence score, flipping from one to the other as necessary.
I mean, killing an Essence 3 Exalt with this basically requires that they suffer a consistent, turn-on-turn Defense penalty of at least -6. That's, what, three turns of punching, where you don't even need to hit them? Of course, then you have to hit them with a decisive attack, and then you have to hit them with
another decisive attack, and in exchange, you get an instant death that they can theoretically come back from and definitely plot against you from. For what purpose?
DRAW FORTH ONE SHARD
Sutra: The greater form of this Charm allows a Sidereal to draw her opponent's reflection out of the glass. This use of the Charm has a cost of 20m, 1wp. It must be used in combination with the Sutra form of Reaching Through the Mirror; upon catching sight of her target in the mirror she pulls it out, creating a double that has all the traits and powers of the original (although if the original is wounded or has less Essence or Willpower at the time of the Charm's use, this is reflected too). This double is mirrored, allowing keen observers to notice they are not the same person. Existing for the rest of the scene, this double obeys the Sidereal, who must remain in a state of meditation while the Charm is in use. If the double is destroyed, then the target loses his reflection until the sun next crosses the horizon, making him immune to the Charms of this style.
Although it is possible to use this greater form to summon the Sidereal's own double, wise practitioners do not do so; it is spite against the real that animates an image, and trying to obtain wisdom or advice from them never ends well.
Um. No.
You are effectively giving Sidereals access to Solar Charmtech on a scene-by-scene basis at a cost of "20m, 1wp, and being within reflection range of a Solar who knows the Charms or Solar Circle Sorcery you want". Hell, doesn't need to be Solars. Can be Lunars, or Third Circle Demons, or high-end Dragon-blooded, or Ishvarans or whatever – Solars are just the most obvious example.
Even if the reflection-creature lasts past the scene of obedience – and it's not clear whether or not this is the case – I can just have it kill itself before the time limit runs out.
And why
wouldn't I use it to summon my own double? I'm not after "wisdom or advice" from
myself, and it has to obey me. I'm just getting a free version of myself (less 20m, 1wp) once a day, for a scene. I'll meditate in Heaven and have it go try to kill Ma Ha Suchi every morning. It's Glorious Solar Doombot with no xp cost and a need for in-character setup.
ECHOES OF INFINITY
This Charm enhances Obsidian Shards of Infinity Form. Under its effect, the user may choose to 'spend' an opponent's onslaught penalty as if it were motes for this style's Charms; if an opponent has an onslaught penalty maintained by Black Shards Fall Like Ice, the user may choose to reduce that penalty by any amount. Each point of penalty so removed counts as two motes towards this style's Charms. Most importantly, if this is done to pay for supplemental Charms or Simple Charms that create an attack, the penalty is only reduced after the attack is resolved.
Does this only apply when paying for attacks against the character you're taking onslaught penalties from? It doesn't sound like it does. Does the onslaught penalty need to have been caused by the martial artist? Is there a range limit? Does the martial artist need to be able to
see their opponent?
Why can the martial artist reduce the onslaught penalty of a random enemy in the next room, but not a friend?
Sutra: On every turn, the Sidereal adds to her normal mote regeneration a number of motes equal to the number of significant opponents she has trapped in the mirror-world with Vanished Within the Glass since the last time the sun crossed the horizon.
This doesn't look especially useful to me, but just say "in the last day". I appreciate the desire for poetry, but you're setting yourself up for arguments about how Malfeas' sun never sets so the bonus just stacks infinitely so long as you live there. Also, I'm not really sure how Creation
has a horizon. It's flat.
BREATHING ON THE BLACK MIRROR
Exalted characters with a Major or Defining Intimacy towards the victim may attempt a reflexive Wits+Integrity roll at a difficulty of the user's Essence to retain the feeling that they have forgotten something important, and a vague feeling of what - a lost lover, a blurred memory of a forgotten parent - but it behooves them to seek out (or learn) a magic powerful enough to restore these memories from nothing.
To clarify – this isn't a Fate-keyworded effect?
Also, the Sutra effect feels broken, in that it seems like I can rewrite significant chunks of Creation's recent history however I please just by murdering someone in charge. I can't help but feel that Creation wouldn't look the way it does if this Charm existed in Sidereal hands.
but otherwise the rest is reasonably idiomatic to 3E.
