... you know, the most annoying thing is, I
nearly had Keris's character development worked out. And then
@EarthScorpion went and did this, throwing all my plans off track. Now even she's not sure what she's thinking. I'm sure as hell not. Hmm. Actually, in some ways, Salina shot herself in the foot with that last parting remark about what warped her sunlight green. Keris would certainly be a lot less confused if she hadn't made it. As is, that comment more than any other - even the "what about how they treat First Circles?" - threw a wrench in things for all parties involved, because it's one of the biggest things that Keris instinctively rebelled against. She was seriously swayed by "judge someone by how they treat their lessers", she agrees wholeheartedly with a lot of the idealism, and she can at least
understand why Salina thinks of the Yozis and their souls as monsters even if Keris personally thinks she's judging citizens like Berengiere or Jacinct a bit harshly, because... well, Keris knows all too well about how grudges can blind you to the better qualities in things you hate.
But Salina's axiomatic implication of "it would be better if you 'fixed' your Exaltation and were a Solar",
that she
doesn't agree with. At all. She loves her powers as they are. She loves her souls, and her Domain, and Dulmea, and her wind and sea and marsh. So that leaves her with... who's right? The Unquestionable treat serfs horribly, and Keris... has to admit that it
does seem wrong for them to do so. Sasi has been following them, but she must be... must be mistaken or something, because she's not
bad, but she's complicit in it and so she's either wrong or she hasn't thought about it. Only... Salina is wrong about something, too; she's not a perfect arbiter of wisdom from experience, she thinks it would be better for Keris to be a Solar than to just be herself but act nicer. Nobody has all the answers, and since everyone's wrong about
something,
anyone might be wrong about
anything. Which means she can't necessarily trust answers that other people give her.
Unfortunately, "answers that other people have given her" make up about 90% of Keris's moral code and worldview right now. And worse yet, that
13-success "are you really in the right?" social attack rocked her right to the core by dragging up all the times
she's hurt or abused her inferiors and making her feel ashamed of them. Salina convinced her that what she's
got is
wrong somehow, but then managed to disqualify herself from being slotted into the position of infallible authority that would let her dictate what is
right in its place. So Keris is currently reeling and uncertain and scared and trying to deal with the fact that she might need to find her
own answers, and that while she's got a lot of possible ones already, she doesn't have any idea which ones are right and which ones are wrong or indeed what "right" and "wrong" really
are, when you get right down to it.
If Salina or Sasi - let along anyone else in the Reclamation - knew what kind of turmoil has just been sparked inside Keris's head by that innocuous little comment, they would be very, very worried. And they'd be right to be. I... genuinely don't know where Keris is going to go from here.