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Game of the Year: A Naruto Quest

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Indalecio said:
Would these be the stories of the Samurai Cats that ran the pizzeria?
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I may have gone a little overboard with the references, and that was one of them. But also I was thinking of that one picture of a samurai walking an armored cat by Tetsuya Noguchi.

I took most of the Cat Names from the series "My Roommate is a Cat". The title "The Hero's Tongue" is a reference to Larry Niven's Known Space series, where it's the name of the language of the Kzin.
 
FourmyleOfCeres said:
So, this one isn't from the Omake prompts, but it is something that I can see people wanting. Normally, after this long I'd go back and reread things to get someone's writing style down, but let's see how this turns out on memory alone.

There are three types of numbers: Important Numbers- like how much you're getting paid, Unimportant Numbers- like how many other people have tried and failed, and Figurative numbers. When people say "a million ways", they don't mean they actually counted, just that there are a lot.

Thirty-Six was supposed to be a figurative number. Six is the number of Yin, the 'dark' manipulative energy. Of course, it also brought shade and relief and many other things that people tend to forget. Thirty Six, as Six Squared, was to show that someone had reached the essence of shadow.

But there were, in fact, thirty-six basic plans for conflict. While it was truth that the thirty-sixth was the best, they could all be devastating if applied correctly. Your mother, while not a ninja, often used number three and number ten. Most ninja honed only three or four of them. The Nara clan, for instance, habitually employed four, nine, twenty-one, and twenty-seven Your foe today was schooled in them all.

Most people would only notice that she employed number-thirty constantly. If all else fails, retreat. But she wouldn't be so feared if that was all she did. She was cunning, and learned from her enemies. The more people who came after her, the smarter she had gotten. It was only fitting, really. If she couldn't learn, she wouldn't have lasted very long as a member of the Daimyō's family.

Your plan, such as it was, was simply to let the others play to their strengths while you played to yours. Kiba would employ number thirteen, as was his way, and with any luck bring your foe closer to you. Meanwhile, Mariko would employ number seven. You didn't expect much from her, to be honest. Not because she wasn't skilled, she was, but because the target was simply too canny to be taken by it.

For your part you were going to chain, which was number thirty-five, ten, seventeen, and twenty-two. It was simple, elegant, and entirely your way.

Naturally, no one but Kurenai had any idea what you were talking about when you said all this. You suffered jabs about your friendship with the Nara when they found out that your plan, in the common tongue, was to sit in the park and drink tea until target came to you. Everyone noticed, however, that your idea of teamwork seemed to be 'let everyone else do the work, and take credit when it comes together.'

No one appreciates a schemer it seems.

You bought the ingredients for today's tea from the Nara clan and the 'snacks' were harvested locally. Which is how you ended up sitting under a tree with three dead squirrels, some canned fish, a bowl of smoldering catnip, some catnip tea poured in a saucer, and watching the clouds.

In the distance, you could hear Kiba and Akamaru had taken up Tora's scent and were giving merry chase. It's what they did, they stomped the grass to scare the snake. Tora was bound to get away at some point, at which point Mariko would take over. Then she'd lie her narrow little butt off, try to sweet talk the cat. Which wouldn't work because that's exactly why Tora keeps running away. Madam Shijimi was over affectionate and Tora had come to equate love and abuse. But with those two shoring up the north and the west of you respectively, Tora would be scared into your park...

And sure enough, events unfolded the way you had foreseen. There was the cat with the stripes and the bow. She was tired and timid. People had been chasing her... and then there you were. Ignoring her. With the alluring sights and smells. Despite the flavor, you lazily pulled a sardine from the can and ate it. It took every bit of acting skill you had to suppress the shudder. The catnip tea, was of course, minty and refreshing, and the saucer you set out for her was cool.

You made no moves to catch her, paid her no attention. Though you did push one of the squirrels closer to her, you did it as though you weren't aware.

A minute passed before she made her way to the squirrel and the fish. And it didn't take much longer for her to lap at the catnip water. You had made this to be an oasis for cats, and you had done a good job. Of course, others came and laid in front of the catnip bowl and you poured them their own saucers. But you'd thrown this brick to get a specific gem.

Once she was relaxed and close, you made sure there was no one behind you and flopped on your back, limbs sprawled. This was an act of submission, in a way. It was an act of trust.

It wasn't long before you were surrounded by purring, happy cats. Including your target.

They also ate all your fish, but you didn't mind.

You didn't count time, but eventually Mariko and Kurenai found you. You'd completed the mission, by not treating it as a mission. You ensnared the target by not treating her as a target, but as a friend. You also smelled like a crazy cat lady. But success was success. You took more time than others, but time was an unimportant number.

The Thirty Six mentioned are of course the Thirty-Six Stratagems. It came out a bit more like my Samurai-Ninja omake, but that's what happens when I'm thinking about the Old Books, I guess.

And now for a crack take on the same mission.

Mariko, Kiba, and Akamaru just stared at Daisuke. Sure, he'd succeeded in the mission, but there were simply... no words for how. Near as they could tell, he'd gotten some 'special herbs' from the Nara and smoked up. The next hour or so he was stoned out of his mind, meowing like a cat, and rolling like a kitten. And every cat in a ten block radius came to join him. Occasionally, he sat up straight and made strange noises, as though telling a grand story.

Really, they'd learned some important things today. Mariko learned that most genjutsu don't work on cats, Kiba learned that just because Akamaru could get through a hole, that didn't mean he could, and Akamaru learned that Tora deserved her name.

And everyone as a group learned that Daisuke could get stoned on catnip.

Daisuke, for his part, did not learn that he could get stoned on catnip. He learned that he knew how to speak cat...

An hour earlier, from his perspective, he'd set up his little kitty bar with snacks and treats and catnip tea, with nice catnip vapor for everyone... and waited. The first several cats were not Tora, but more importantly, did something he wasn't expecting. They spoke. It wasn't the almost human meows he was used to, but something deeper, something seen and felt as much as heard.

"Hey! I found the source of those smells!" said the large black one-eyed tom as he jumped from the wall.

A younger white cat peeked over at Daisuke and the set up around him. "I don't know, Kuro, this smells like a trap to me..."

Kuro made a noise that Daisuke understood a cat-scoffing. "Leo, you're afraid of everything. Surely he wouldn't miss a fish or two. Besides, he's got a saucer set out. He's probably just one of those humans that likes us."

Daisuke spoke quietly, as to not startle them. "Please, help your selves. I'm looking for Tora."

Kuro stepped closer. "It seems you humans always are... Wait. You know the Hero's Tongue? How?"

Daisuke pushed a squirrel toward the cat. "I don't know. I don't remember learning it, but I speak it all the same."

It was a friendly brown and white tom that was the first to actually approach. He lapped heartily at the saucer and started chewing on a squirrel. "It's okay guys, I know this kid. He's that guy the squirrels are always after. Looks like he got a couple of the bastards."

Kuro buried his face in his paws. "Roku, must you? You're always charging in."

"Yeah, well, there's nothing to fear. So anyway, kid, you're looking for Tora? You're not going to take her back to her human, are you?"

Daisuke pondered. "I'm afraid I have to, but I'd rather not do anything to harm her. If I knew why she ran away, maybe I could solve things."

Roku crunched thoughtfully on squirrel skull. "Well, you're an enemy of the squirrels, so you're a friend to the cats. May as well tell you. The human is just too rough. She squeezes and restrains and strokes her all the way down. It's just no good."

Daisuke thought about this. "Yes, I could see anyone leaving a life where their family can't love nicely. I think I can explain this to her human. I don't think it's fair to anyone that people have to keep chasing poor Tora."

A tuxedo kitten was the next to pop into the area. "Oh! It's the great Squirrel Slayer!"

Kuro shook his head. "Look, I'll go get Tora if you're serious, but if you're lying to us, you'll be the enemy of more than just the squirrels."

Daisuke leaned back, showing his stomach some. "I swear, I do not wish to chase Tora, or have her be chased."

The next several minutes were spent telling the kittens with tales from the squirrel war. Daisuke had always been a good story teller.


The boy smelled like the cat equivalent to an Inuzuka, but he spoke like he was nobility himself. Which he might have been. There were stories of Cat Samurai, why not one that had become a ninja? He was quiet, but firm. He had insisted on coming back after the payment to talk, and so Madame Shijimi made her famous miso soup.

"I understand that you love Tora very much, but I'm not sure she does. Humans and cats are different in many ways." Daisuke said, before making a low chirrup noise, and Tora jumped in his lap. He absentmindedly laid a hand on her head on massaged with his thumb. "Every cat is different, but few cats like being squeezed the way you squeeze her. And laying on their back isn't a request for belly rubs, it's simply them opening up and letting their defenses down. Going to their belly is seen as a betrayal."

Tora seemed to lavish her affection on the strange ninja. Perhaps, just perhaps, the boy knew what he was talking about...

Title Unlocked:
The Cat Whisperer​
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I am thoroughly amused. Take 60 XP each (120 for both).
 
CrazyGuy said:
Just a question: how are our attributes so high or are they fake?
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They're relative to our age group, and they're that high due to a combination of Gai's training (For the physical), mom's genes (for appearance) and MANY omake exp.

General opinion was that, in many cases, it was more important to boost attributes that skills in the beginning (though we did boost also quite a few skills/techs)
 
And vote is closed.
Adhoc vote count started by Vesvius on Jul 1, 2019 at 11:39 AM, finished with 133 posts and 83 votes.
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Omake time. For: 'Team Ten thought that Asuma-sensei was going to test them. But when he does, they never saw it happening like this.'
Asuma would admit, he was kind of looking forward to this. If only to see what their reactions would be.

He had Team 10 arrayed before him in the shaded afternoon light of Training Ground 8. For the most part, he'd say they were too assured.

Choji had involved himself in his snack bag, and past that was paying more attention to the new environs than anything else. Shikamaru looked to be attempting to nap while standing, likely waiting for a verbal cue before spending energy to pay attention. Ino was the only one with palpable focus, standing with a tight annoyance he'd come to recognize the appearance of in motivated young women, due to...reasons.

Problem was he could tell that all three of them, to one extent or another, thought they knew what would be happening next. But he hadn't told them anything but the meeting time and place. Yeah, he wasn't really the type to regularly spring nasty surprises on his students. It didn't do well to building trust in his personal experience, if nothing else.

But that wasn't the point. The point was you never showed up to a rendezvous with a superior officer, or a mission, or to most things in ninja life assuming you knew what would happen. Not unless you had damn good reason.

They didn't have those. They didn't know him, didn't know this training ground, and didn't know of at least some of the new expectations placed on them by those above as a result of their recent genin team formation.

Provided they showed common sense here…they'd learn, in time, to anticipate the unexpected. He'd teach them.

"No sense beating around the bush." he said around his cigar, with as much gravitas as he could without working for it. Good, they'd started paying attention. "I misled you. You have a test. It begins now. The goal is to come out in one piece." Not really, he couldn't cripple clan heirs even if he wanted to. He could make them wish they'd never been born, if he felt it was necessary. "If you do well enough you won't have nasty scars by the end. Test only ends when I say it does. And you're on your own. Good luck." He finished with hard, serious eyes, and shunshined out while they were still processing.

The he leaned back on the tree he had perched himself on, and watched the wheels start to spin.

Shikamaru had the most drastic shift, going from bleary eyed to searching, hands together—though notably not rat sign—in almost no time flat. Choji had paused, then had the hand in his bag grab the remaining chips and shove them in his mouth while tensing and readying his body for the large exertions expected from one of his clan. Ino had perhaps the most proactive reaction, drawing her tanto and a brace of shuriken before shouting, "Form up on me!"

With only a couple of steps from the boys, they were in a formation you might expect from an Ino-Shika-Cho team that had been caught completely off guard. Choji was facing the clearing, bag now lying forgotten, regulating his breathing to achieve full physical readiness, eyes unfocused to catch any movement. Shikamaru had his eyes darting from location to location amongst the trees, eliminating the most likely hiding spots of potential enemies, mapping routes his shadows could take, and generally seeming frustrated with the situation. Ino had stabbed her sword into the ground and holstered her shuriken, hands clasped and eyes shut, clearly focusing on her sensing abilities.

Asuma doubted she'd have any luck. His old friend Raido was only still a tokubetsu jounin because he lacked the interest in training his other skills with the same tenacity that he honed his abilities as an assassin.

In fact, Asuma wasn't quite sure where the hell Raido was right now.

Choji was next to speak, in a much more serious voice than he'd yet heard from the boy. "Shikamaru, what should we d—"

"I've got nothing." Ino said tersely. Hm, still displaying friction with her teammates, or had she not even heard Choji while she was searching? "I think Asuma-sensei shunshined a long way away. Either way, I'm not getting anything. So, best guess, this is some sort of game, and we have to be ready to act on a signal, or the ambush is—"

And that's when a rain of shuriken and kunai made themselves known from above.

His students made the best decision they could in that situation, deflecting and dodging the metal edges—or in Choji's case knocking them aside with an enlarged arm—while staying in formation. But it couldn't be enough against their opponent.

One moment, the genin were alone amongst an outpouring of indifferent metal danger. The next, Raido had shunshined from afar right into their midst. In the blindspot that had developed thanks to his distraction.

Asuma almost shuddered. Raido had the aura of a reaper when he pulled moves like that. As if it wasn't even second nature to enter the perfect space for an execution, but rather a natural way of being. A bit unsettling when seen used on the village's future, regardless of the intentions.

One of Raido's hands used the hilt of his sword to knock Shikamaru in the back and send him hard to the ground. The other grabbed Choji's pants, unbalancing him, and using the boy's momentum to send him sprawling hard. Then his sword moved to intercept Ino's own blade, Ino having pirouetted from slashing away two shuriken to directing that same momentum into the presence she sensed behind her.

Her tanto was smoothly brushed aside by Raido's katana, the blade coming to rest just above her throat.

Raido observed what he had wrought with mild indifference, before moving his sword to his side, leaving Ino to stumble backwards, still somewhat shocked at the sudden turn of events. From Asuma giving the start, it had been easily less than half a minute.

"Asuma, don't have all day here. Time is money," Raido said. Well, that was his cue.

In a moment, he was back in the clearing. What to say? Eh. "Congratulations, you pass."

"WHAT!?" Ouch, his ears. "What kind of test was that?! All we did was get fake murdered in seconds flat!" What a loudmouth. At least she was asking the useful sort or question.

Taking a look at the boys, they were curious too, but not nearly so eager to voice themselves. Still on the ground busy nursing their bruises.

"First, Raido, any words of wisdom for these genin?" Asuma prompted. Best let them get something concrete out of this, and they'd be hearing plenty from him soon enough.

Raido quickly looked them over in inscrutable contemplation. "Nara, your clan's often the one who makes tactics in groups like these. Not always so, but I saw a thousand thoughts running through your head. Don't hesitate, voice them." Shikamaru, somewhat predictably, just grunted, still rubbing his shoulder.

"Akimichi, your large limbs might be useful, but don't let them block your sight when you've just had an ambush sprung on you unless you don't have a choice." Choji nodded emphatically, seeming to come back to himself.

"Yamanaka, the first step should always be to gather information in a situation like that. Don't waste time drawing your weapons just to put them back down when you have another job to do first. And keep that blade sharp, you have talent for someone with no formal instructor or clan history in kenjutsu." He said, sheathing his pitch black katana.

Ino's glower hadn't completely faded, but sheathed her tanto in silent acknowledgement. Then she smirked. "I have a friend who's even better, also without a kenjutsu instructor."

Raido quirked an eyebrow, then looked at Asuma. "See ya later." And he was gone.

Asuma looked back to his team. "So, questions?"

Shikamaru spoke this time. "That was all?" he asked in a dull tone.

Asuma sighed. Ino, at least, probably wouldn't let it go unless he explained. "I might as well just lay it all out. That 'test' was checking you had a basic willingness and ability to work together as a unit. It's good to see none of you have forgotten the basic lessons on how to work together with your sister clans, even if the academy doesn't provide much room for practicing that."

And then his voice sharpened. "It was also testing your ability to rely on yourselves and listen to unexpected orders. If you hadn't taken responsibility for your own safety, I would have failed you, no two ways about it." Choji, at least, seemed a bit affected by that.

His gaze moved to the forest line. "A protracted test wasn't necessary. I spent this morning talking to your parents. Before that, I looked at your portfolios, then looked in on you while you all were doing your own separate training. You've all been advancing well in your clan techniques, at least."

He chuckled. "Besides, I'd need a damn good reason to flunk you all and disrupt the tradition our clans have in place. Having you all argue or complain like children after I told you you'd be seriously injured if you didn't perform might have qualified, though."

He looked each of them in the eye. "So does that answer your questions?"

Ino mumbled about the test only proving they weren't complete idiots. Shikamaru had gone from listening intently to his explanation to vegging in no time flat. Choji tentatively raised his hand. "Is this like the test your jounin instructor gave you?"

Asuma discretely sweat at the memory. "No, and you should be glad it isn't." He said firmly. Seriously, Kurenai, tradition is tradition, but do you want to traumatize the kids?

"So, are we going to be training today?" Ino asked.

Asuma shrugged. "The plan is to go over meditation practices, especially after that surprise. The academy doesn't go over it nearly enough. It's half the training to being a good ninja."

Ino looked like she agreed with him, but also as if she were strangling a scream of frustration in her throat. Girl sure was expressive.

Asuma looked back towards the village. "C'mon Team 10, let's go get some tea, then I'll show you a place we'll be spending some of our time."

At that, Choji seemed to collect himself from all the sudden shifts. "Will there be food?" he asked eagerly, picking up his discarded bag.

"Sure, feel free to have your fill, on me. We'll be working it off tomorrow."

Huh, why did he suddenly feel a shiver of dread moving down his spine?
 
Alternate Playthrough: "Hotoke" (Saint) Daisuke
@Vesvius All to Kenjutsu please.

Daisuke is regarded as a Saint by the Samurai. It is said that he has attained the highest level of manslaying: To Kill Without the Intent To Kill.

 
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So when the Land of Iron comes calling. Want to pretend that we want to be the Daimyo of Iron and then in such a way that literally no one can refute we pronounce that we give the title to our half-brother?
 
OSRFanatic0 said:
So when the Land of Iron comes calling. Want to pretend that we want to be the Daimyo of Iron and then in such a way that literally no one can refute we pronounce that we give the title to our half-brother?
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Err... "we want to be Daimyo" and "our half-brother should be Daimyo" are mutually exclusive.

Unless your intention is to cause a civil war just to get on the throne, then immediately abdicate which makes all the sacrifices of those who died in said war meaningless? That's excessively cruel.

Mother swore we wouldn't be a threat to their succession. Tokei committed assisted seppuku, he let himself be killed so that he wouldn't have to kill us.
When the topic comes up, I'd like to honour their oath/mission by renouncing any claim we might have.
 
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