Finally, with their shrill voices ringing in your ears, you make it your classroom. Once you enter the room you step to the side to let everyone else go first. Your friends barely even notice; Jabari is buried in his notebook, Yui is staring down at her hands as she goes through a series of seals again, and Sakura and Ino are at the stage of their argument where they go forehead to forehead and snarl while still somehow walking straight. It's honestly impressive.
Your eyes linger on the last two. This needs to end, and it needs to end quickly. Not only is their bickering ungodly annoying, but it's starting to do some real damage to their relationship. It used to be you could go days, days without hearing about all the problems between them but now you're lucky if you get an hour without a tirade. And beyond that you think it's starting to affect your training. Today wasn't the first time you've been left to handle two on one odds while Ino and Sakura bumrush each other- which is good practice, but it gets old.
But how should you handle it? Maybe you should point them at a mutual target and watch them bond over the carnage? As you think of the idea your eyes dart from person to person, searching for a suitable victim. Maybe Mariko? You turn your focus to Ino's bitchy, muscular cousin, who's sitting in the top row chatting at Sasuke. As you watch, she reaches up and tucks the one strand of her long platinum hair that evaded her hair band back behind her ear while she finishes her sentence.
Whatever she said, Sasuke doesn't seem to care. He just stares ahead at the wall over steepled fingers. Mariko doesn't notice the lack of response; she throws her head back and lets out a peel of laughter. You wince from the volume; after your trip up the stairs, you can't deal with any more noises right now. The motion catches Sasuke's eye; he gives a small half smirk and jerks his head upwards in greeting.
Of course that catches Mariko's attention. She whips her head to the side, lashing Sasuke with her hair as she looks for what caught his focus. When she sees you she glares for a long moment before reaching up and scratching at her cheek with her middle finger before turning back to renew her poor attempts and flirting.
Yeah, she could be a good target. But you don't want to act prematurely here. You've got such a wealth of other targets to point your twin harridans at if you decide to go that direction. Shikamaru could work; it's never hard to get Ino worked up in his direction and he's too lazy to seek revenge. Your only regret in using him as a target would be if Chouji gets caught up in it. You'll move to get him out of the way first.
Or maybe Ren? You scan the room but don't see him. Not surprising; he's never really done much to distinguish himself from the rest of the class in anything, and that includes being on time. At least in the second year he finally started bringing in his own notepaper. You're not sure why, but whenever you think about him not having his own supplies you want to nail him to a wall.
Wait, wait, no, there he is. You almost missed him. His diminutive form is hidden inside his enormous jacket and heavy stocking cap that he never takes off despite this winter being so mild that it feels like an extended fall. But that's not why you looked past him. That would be the figure squatting on his desk staring at him from inches away. As you watch she reaches out and pokes him with a long, pale finger. Ren flinches and tries to burrow back into his chair, but his watcher doesn't stir.
Actually, no. You shouldn't target him. Kairi seems to have his torment well in hand.
And maybe you shouldn't target anyone at all. You don't even know if it would work. You're definitely getting ahead of yourself. You need to figure out exactly what the issue is here before you try and solve it. To do otherwise would just make things worse. So when you get a free minute you'll draw them both to the side separately and talk to them without the other one noticing. Really try and get to the root of the issue and then deal with it from there.
Plan of action set in your mind you stop loitering near the door and head to your seat. Your friends have claimed your normal spots on the third row. Sakura's in the center of the room so she can stare at the blackboard better, then Ino, then an empty spot for you, then Yui, and Jabari taking up the aisle seat. At least that's how you normally sit.
This time, Ino's in your usual seat, leaving her chair next to Sakura open. You stare at it in mild surprise before turning to your friend and cocking an eyebrow. The blonde at least has the good manners to look embarrassed. She mouths an apology to you and makes a few hand signals in your direction. Huh. Either she's promising she'll make it up to you or she's angered a very formidable stoat. Could go either way.
No sense whining; your desk is good and stolen. You stride up to your row, squeeze past Jabari, and duck past the girls to get to your seat. Ino again nods her thanks and you ignore them; she can thank you after you fix this. For now, you'll just wait for class to start. Then maybe you'll get some answers during the break between lectures.
Sakura looks up as you sit down. Her expression is surprised when she finds you next to her; she was probably so focused on ignoring Ino that she missed the change in seating arrangements. She opens her mouth to say something before glancing past you. She freezes, and the chatter behind you stops at the same time. Ino was probably looking this way and their eyes met. Your theory is confirmed when you hear a pair of matching 'humphs' and Sakura's head swings away, nose going up in the air. Ino probably looks the same way, but when you look back at her she's in animated conversation with a mildly surprised looking Yui.
Fair enough. She's just given you an opportunity. If Ino's putting so much of her focus into ignoring Sakura, that leaves you an opening to try and weasel some info out of the pinkette without waiting. You drop down in Ino's normal chair and give Sakura a friendly nod. "That was some clever thinking earlier," you praise her. "Very underhanded. Nicely done."
Sakura blushes slightly and nods back at you, her nod so deep it's near a bow. "Thanks, Daisuke. It's nice to know that not everyone takes my tactics so personally!"
Her voice is pitched to carry but Ino gives no sign of hearing it. Yeah, she's focusing on ignoring. "Why would I take it personally?" you answer as if you missed the subtext. "It was cunning. And it might even have worked against lesser opponents."
There. The way her shoulders flinch slightly at the word 'lesser'. There's a wound there. "Yes, but it didn't," Sakura answers. "I'll have to try and think of something new next time."
You nod as you think. That was definitely a tell. Does she feel weaker than the rest of you? Because if she does… well, that's a smart thing to think. She's by far the least capable of the five of you in a combat situation. But the healthy thing to do would be to not dwell on it, or at least focus on self-improvement, not let yourself feel inferior. But you can't just say that- it'd be awkward as hell coming out of nowhere. You'll have to guide the conversation there.
"You will," you reply. "I doubt we'll forget about that tactic any time soon. Perhaps you could focus on traps? They would fit your natural strengths well. Go to the park early and set them up, thus gaining battlefield control."
Sakura considers it for a second. "Maybe, but then I'd have to get up even earlier! I can't just leave them overnight; what if someone else just stumbled into them! Maybe if I could set them up really quickly…"
Not exactly a surprising response. Sakura works hard, but she's reluctant to add any more onto her plate. She just hasn't had anything bad happen to her that would spur her forward. In time that will change- you hope.
The two of you chat easily for a few minutes. You do your best to keep steering the conversation back towards the spar and start tiptoeing into her tension with Ino, but every time you get close she shies away from the subject and turns it back to things about you. Your training methods, your sword care regimen, how long does it take you to do your hair in the morning. The usual.
Still, you manage to get a few things out of her. Sakura avoids any bit of conversation about her arguments with Ino but is happy to talk about her issues with everyone else- means the whole situation is more serious than you thought. If it was just a little squabble she wouldn't be hesitating to tell you all about it. She also doesn't like to hear praise for her grades at all. The one time you mention how well she did on the last test she nearly snaps your head off before getting back under control. By the time Iruka-sensei arrives and calls for attention, you're pretty sure you have Sakura's problem down.
Simply put, she feels inferior. She feels like she's the weakest of you all and she doesn't like it at all. More so, she thinks that she's lingering in Ino's shadow, and she doesn't like that Ino's going out of her way to try and take second place in the games- one of the only places that Sakura is just better at her in.
It's a lot to think about. You mull it over as Iruka-sensei welcomes you back to your last marking period and gives a brief overview of the plans before launching into his first lecture of the day- a history refresher. No surprise; this marking period is when you'll get tested on everything you've learned over the last six and three quarter years. History would definitely be included in that period. It's a short lecture by Iruka-sensei standards, quickly turning into a recap of the makeup of Chakra. That one goes a little longer.
By the time he's done, you're more than happy to get to lunch. Between the morning workout and the long lecture you would murder for a chance to stretch and eat. But before you can get out of your chair, your desk suddenly creaks under the weight of someone standing on it.
You sigh and slowly look up. If it's Kairi, you're going to be here a while. The dark haired, red-eyed girl doesn't like to move once she's picked a perch, and you honestly feel bad every time you have to move her. She's sort of adorable in a 'raar I will haunt you' kind of way. Moving her feels like moving a particularly silent ghost dog that just wants to stare at you from six inches away.
But instead of white, black, and red, you see orange, yellow, and blue. You sigh. "Good afternoon, Uzumaki. Can I help you?"
Honestly, you're a little surprised to see Uzumaki Naruto this early in class. At first he had shown up every day, screaming and yelling about everything under the sun. But as the years dragged on he'd started showing up less and less, only really appearing on days where class started with practical lessons or after lunch, when Iruka-sensei had the time to track him down. You don't know exactly how he spends his mornings but you're pretty sure bad pranks are involved.
You almost feel bad for the loud, orange-wearing student. Very few people talk to him and the few times they do it's usually because they've been forced to via group project. But you just can't. For one thing, he's annoying as hell. That alone you may have tried to look past, but well…
Seemlessly, Naruto turns his focus from you to Sakura. "Sakura-chan!" he yells out, volume so loud that your subsiding headache rolls back full force. "You look really nice today! Do you want to get something to eat?"
...every day. Everyday with this guy.
The 'chan' is the worst part. Honorifics are a way of life in Konoha, and you really don't even hear them most of the time anymore. You just say the appropriate ones when you're supposed to and forget about them. But there's just something in the way Naruto insists on throwing a chan onto Sakura's name in the most piercing voice possible that makes it stand out like a sore thumb.
And it's every day! He won't stop! No matter how much Sakura says no!
Sure enough, Sakura shakes her head. "Sorry, Naruto, but I've got an appointment to do literally anything else. I should be free about never! Bye!" With that she turns and runs, heading for your usual spot.
But Naruto doesn't leave. You sigh. "Uzumaki, can you move? I would like to get my food please." Still no motion. "Uzumaki? You're all done your business here. You can go."
That finally gets a reaction. He swivels to face you again. "Not done yet! Got one more thing I have to do!"
His hands move faster than you would expect, darting towards you with a slamming noise before you can react. He jumps back with a happy grin splitting his face. "See ya Satomura! Have a good lunch!"
...oh fuck, what did he do. Between his blinding choice in color and how quick his hands move, you missed it!
Your sword is fine. Whatever he did, he at least didn't touch your soul, so maybe you won't kill him. Your clothes seem unpainted, your face is clear of any dye or doodles, and your hair is unmussed. Maybe he was just messing with you and didn't prank you at all. You sigh and reach into your desk for lunch-
You freeze.
He wasn't after you. That slamming sound was him opening your desk at the same time, and all the motions towards you were just a distraction. He was after something much more important.
Your fan is gone.
In it's place is a cheap knock off, made of wood instead of fine steel and paper instead of silk. You flick it open on instinct. Instead of the painting of a coast at night that decorates your usual fan, it's got… a picture of a steaming bowl of soup.
Uzumaki Naruto just stole your fan. And replaced it with a shit one.
How will you handle this?
[] You are going to play along. Steal your fan back when you get an opportunity and replace it with an even worse fan.
[] You are going to beat him until he gives you your fan back.
[] You're going to make Iruka-sensei make him give you your fan back.
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