"Kotomine is an asshole, yes," Gilgamesh says idly, swirling a glass of wine, "But what an entertaining asshole he was!"
*opens mouth*
*pauses*
*closes mouth*
No. No. If I start making jokes about Gil and Kotomine's entertaining asshole, I'll be here all month.
Cu rolls his eyes. "I had to be in the same space as that asshole, too. But I guess he's alright now. But god damn what an asshole."
Seen here: Cu complimenting Kotomine's asshole... -ishness.
"We get it, you're obsessed with assholes." Archer rolls his eyes and scoffs.
*narrows eyes* You're not supposed to make my jokes for me, Archer.
"You want a go too?! Bring it!"
Seen here: Cu Chulainn, noted asshole obssessor, tries to convince two men at once to "bring it" and have "a go" at him.
Caster bound Assassin to the gate around this time too.
I... could stand to hear a bit more about Caster's ability to... bind Servants.
"Ah, Sasaki," Medea sighs, "He had such a clever tongue... Now if only he were a girl and more respectful. But, needs must.
*gestures wordlessly at that*
*just... gestures*
LOOK AT IT. I NEED A POET!
"If you wanted to kill yourself so badly, Archer, you could have just stabbed the boy full of swords."
Usually, I'd be making a joke RE: Archer and Shirou and "stabbing" with his "sword" and wondering if that counts as incest or what, but.... I'm pretty sure THAT joke's been made so much and so thoroughly that even *I* can't beat it any deeper into the ground.
Everyone at that table knows Archer is selling a load of shit. But no one is sure enough that they would call him out on that.
Which is the very definition of a well done bluff.
But only because only an idiot would try to kill himself in such a roundabout fashion despite being an Archer with access to A-Ranked Broken Phantasms.
"Why didn't you just... MURDER HIM?"
"Because... reasons! Shut up!"
Well, there was Gilgamesh, who could cheat with his Clairvoyance . What a man.
Yes. Gilgamesh is definitely a man. That, at least, is certain. You can ask Kana if you need someone to vouch for that!
EMIYA shrugs. "Can you say for certain?"
"Yes."
"But can you say for CERTAIN that you're certain?"
"YES."
"But can you say for certain that you're CERTAIN that you're-"
"
OH MY GOD SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU"
Lancer killed Shirou, Rin saved his life,
That's not a very good death, then. Almost... a little one. *eyebrow waggle*
Lancer nods. "Sounds about right. That kid is tough. He doesn't die when he is killed,
Seen here:
- Lancer complimenting someone on their ability to not be murdered by him.
- Memery.
"I'd ask our Masters how Rin is like as a mother... but I'm worried about what I will learn."
Have... you spent a lot of time thinking about Rin as a mother, Archer? Is that something you contemplate often? What kind of things will I find if I check your search history, Archer?!
"What an asshole," Archer nods.
"Total fucking asshole," Cu agrees.
"My kind of asshole," Gilgamesh grins.
Again, the overall consensus is solid RE: Kotomine's asshole... -ishness.
"Perhaps you are simply bad at committing suicide, Archer."
Okay, I laughed.
Archer sighs. "How do you know what that is? Have you been talking to Kana?"
"I thought I told you I didn't want you talking to her. She's a bad influence!"
Alternately: "You, all right?! I LEARNED IT FROM YOU!"
"Rin and I also investigated some gas leaks that night and concluded that Caster was at Ryuudo Temple," Archer says. "It might seem like a leap in logic, but it wasn't.
"Because one of my Noble Phantasms was 'The Script of The Series.'"
"Shinji is useless," Medusa says simply, to unanimous agreement.
"What a spineless wimp," Cu remarks.
"Completely unremarkable," Medea says.
"Fun to bully, more fun to silence," Gilgamesh shrugs.
You know, when THOSE people are all in agreement about how useless you are as a human being... maybe you need to take a good, long look at yourself.
But we're also talking about Shinji, so... meh.
"You possessed his body."
*perks up* G-go on....
Fortunately Archer was around and then saved him and then slashed him.
Archer is into slash when it involves Shirou, got it.
Archer frowns. "Wait, did everyone try to attack Caster?"
I mean, an unkind person would be making some kind of joke about Caster being the Grail War's bicycle right about now.
Rider nods and sips at her tea. "I suppose. Nonetheless, Shinji was absolutely worthless throughout that entire debacle."
I sense a recurring theme here. It's subtle, but if you look CLOSELY... I think there's a slight undertone of Medusa not actually liking Shinji that much?
But that means I don't actually know how strong you are!"
Rider tilts her head owlishly at Lancer. "Would you like to know?"
Cu's grin turns feral. "When would I like to know?"
I am 1000000% certain that this is how Cu flirts. 1000001%, even.
And for Lancer, who will dodge the table due to an unfairly strong skill, she will stab him a little. Just a little.
Merlin: "Just say the word, Arturia! I'm pretty sure he'd be down for it!"
Saber looks at Archer. She nods appreciatively at him for the save, and decides not to draw on the Wind Hammer just yet.
The Wind Hammer is her pen-OH GOD SABER PLEASE NOT MY FACE NOT MY BEAUTIFUL FACE
"Less, to be fair," Caster says, "He did produce our Masters."
Yeah, I can just SEE that conversation once the world's been saved:
"Good news, Dad! Thanks to Medea of Colchis, all the Fifth Grail War Servants agreed that your seed is the least useless part of you!"
"...what"
"Of course, Rin is also an idiot. Because she took the idiot out on a date in the middle of the war right after."
What, do you NOT find war zones romantic? Sheesh.
Herakles just grunts. Whether it is in support or in opposition will never be known, because Ritsuka isn't here to translate.
Again, I love that Ritsuka actually UNDERSTANDS Berserker.
Lancer shrugs. "We hit the town, have lunch, fool around, and then fight. Sounds like a great time!"
*glances up*
Did I say 1000001%? I meant 1000001%
nth.
"...What? It's not weird."
"It is a bit," Saber says dryly.
Arturia, you are a lovely and perfect little cinnamon roll, but... you have NO GROUNDS for judging anyone else's weirdness status. Ever.
But that first time will always be something I cherish.
*puerile giggle* Yes, I've... heard that to be the case for most people.
"And romance has no place on the battlefield!
Lancer: "Hey, wait a fucking second...."
"You broke the rules of engagement by attacking in the day!"
Seen here: Arturia upset that Medea broke the
rules of engagement.
They turn to the source with idle curiosity and find Saber and Caster wrestling over Rule Breaker and Excalibur.
And now Medea and Arturia are wrestling with their... magic swords.
"I have shown them the light!" Medea raises a bare hand, not for any real reason but just as a flourish.
Well done, Medea! If nothing else, you've got STYLE.
*puerile giggle*
"I'll have twice what he has," Cu nods astutely.
*glances downwards*
*glances at Cu's spear*
*cough*OVERCOMPENSATING*cough*
Gilgamesh chuckles and shakes his head, while golden portals deposit gold-plated canned beers into their hands.
Good lord, Gil drinks Tecate?
"Drink, you mongrels, for today we are as brothers."
*pours scotch*
*salutes*
BROTHER!
They clink their beers together, right as Altera and Arturia punch each other's fists, and the world is blown away by force.
In this scene: Arturia and Altera attempt to sink their fists into each other while everyone drinks and watches.
EDIT TO ADD: I want you to know that I was REALLY tempted to make some kind of
Requim for a Dream joke here, but... didn't. Because I'm a good person.
