YOUR "CLEVER TWIST" SUCKS, AND HERE'S WHY
What are Clever Twists, and why do they suck so much? Simply put, Clever Twists are the GM knowingly-or-unknowingly abusing the common social contracts of tatterpigs to (supposedly) surprise and delight the other people at the table. Here's a few common cases:
1. SECRET WIZARD HITLER
There's a long history of questgivers secretly (or "secretly") being evil sorcerors/demons/wizard hitler in disguise, then revealing this once the PCs have delivered The Testicles Of Destiny into their hands so they can monologue about what
fools they were, to fail to notice that the kindly priest Rad Witz Rileh had a toothbrush moustache, that the swastika on his robe was
not, in fact, a Buddhist Manji, and also that his name is an anagram of "Wizard Hitler."
The issue here, of course, is that they definitely fucking noticed. The issue, further, is that because there is usually a spoken or unspoken social contract that when the GM brings an adventure to the table, everyone's going to go on the adventure regardless of the fine details of motivation or it being, strictly speaking, a good idea. So, like, what the fuck are you supposed to do when the GM hands you a quest from an obviously shady motherfucker, say "Actually, GM, we've decided not to go on an adventure this week," or something? Of course not, that would make you an obstructive dickhead, you're gonna go on that ill-advised adventure.
And, like, this is
fine, if the GM doesn't get some damn fool idea into their head of making the other players/their characters "work out" that Rad Witz Rileh the kindly Buddhist priest is really Wizard Hitler and they shouldn't bring him The Testicles Of Destiny. Because:
- it's laughably obvious, and
- it goes against all the tenets of common table ettiquette to say "Hey, lads, let's chuck this magical bollocks into a millpond and go stab the shit out of that kindly priest, 'cause I think he might be some kind of Wizard Hitler,"
because, like, what if you're
wrong? What if the GM's just having an off day and happened to come up with a character and a quest that
strongly indicates that something's amiss when actually Rad Witz Rileh
really is a kindly priest who wants The Testicles Of Destiny so he can lock them away in a secure vault where Wizard Hitlers can't get at them? If that's the case, then you tossing the balls in a lake and murderising him would be a real dickhead move!
So they do the polite thing and bring Rad Witz Rileh the balls, then
"
Fools!"
cried Rad Witz Rileh, tearing off his moustache to reveal a slightly smaller moustache, "
I was Wizard Hitler all along!!!!!"
Then the GM goes on Reddit and gloats about how stupid his players are, while everyone else at the table starts making Killer Vagrant characters out of spite.
2. DOPPELGANGERS AND DOUBLE-CROSSERS
There is an equally long history of GMs collaborating with one other player to insert a mole into the PC Party, generally either by having the player make a character who is secretly an agent of Wizard Hitler or by replacing a regular non-shithead PC with a shapeshifter, clone, or evil twin. The mole then spies on the other PCs, sabotages their endeavours, and generally is a total bellend, usually through the medium of passing notes to and from the GM like teenagers in films made before texting was invented. Eventually, if the campaign doesn't collapse (highly unlikely, in my opinion), there will be a Big Reveal when, at the Worst Possible Moment, Dick Molemann stabs the party in the back, stuffs The Testicles Of Destiny into, fittingly, a sack, and teleports to Wizard Hitler's castle. Then, when the PCs give chase and storm Wizard Hitler's castle, they either find the
real Dick Molemann in a cell and he explains that actually the guy who fucked them over was a different person entirely, though still
played by the same dirty backstabbing fuck grinning at them across the table;
or, they confront Dick Molemann and Wizard Hitler in a grand, climactic battle because this whole, year-long campaign has actually been The Dick Molemann And Wizard Hitler Show, Also Featuring Some Rubes, then they're expected to go back to treating Dick Molemann's player's characters like they're not potentially ticking time-bombs of horseshit. The worst version of this is when Dick Molemann
is Rad Witz Rileh, kindly party healer, for obvious reasons.
The issue here, of course, is that there's no way to avoid getting fucked over by Dick Molemann without acting like, once again, a real dickhead; table ettiquette asks players to just accept that Dick Molemann the conveniently placed rogue is basically trustworthy, because the alternative is spending hours of alleged leisure time grilling your alleged friend by, like, tying his character to a chair and shining a lantern in his face while Chunk The Barbarian slaps him and yells "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?"
And, again, if Dick Molemann
really is a conveniently placed rogue who wants to join your party because Roger The Ranger got obliterated by a thwomp and his player just wants to get on with the game, that'd be a real dickhead move.
3. A RIDDLE WRAPPED IN A MYSTERY INSIDE AN ENIGMA
GMs, especially the kind of GMs who like mysteries and have a disproportionate prep-to-game ratio, often forget two things:
First, fictional mysteries are, generally, meant to be solved, which ideally means that there should be a way for the other people at the table to work out what the hell is going on. Generally this is because the GM's
self-insert villain has been envisioned as just
too intelligent to make amateur blunders like "leaving clues" or "being noticed." ("Well
obviously when he stole The Testicles Of Destiny he took the simple precautions of being invisible, magically disguised as a guardsman, and wearing a Wizard Nixon mask, he's not
stupid.") Which is all very well if you're writing Diabolik comics, I guess, but if you're running a roleplaying game you
may want to throw the rest of the table a bone or two. A frustrating subset of this is when the GM does provide clues, but you'd need the deductive skills of Adam West's Batman to piece them together correctly ("A single Size 18 shoeprint was found at the scene of the murder, and the victim had recently voted to withdraw funding from the arts. The only
possible conclusion is that this man was killed by a vengeful clown.").
Second, in fiction, things do not exist if the audience is not aware of them. So while the GM may have an annotated chart of which townspeople are secretly members of The Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night, if there's no way to discover this information and most of the Elucidated Brothers don't ever appear "onscreen" in their black hooded robes, then functionally the chart is just the GM playing with himself. If Rad Witz Rileh the kindly town priest is, secretly, Wizard Hitler, but he never does any Wizard Hitler shit the players or their characters can find out about, Rad Witz Rileh is, for all intents and purposes
other than the GM playing with himself, not Wizard Hitler.
This generally leads to PCs wandering around aimlessly, rifling through desk-drawers in the vain hope that there might be something relevant to the plot in there, and resorting to shining lanterns in the faces of captured goons while Chunk The Barbarian slaps them and yells "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?" Eventually, the GM will either take pity on them and have Rad Witz Rileh start leaving post-it notes with his evil plans on them all over the place, like in
Shadows Over Bögenhafen, or just have his evil plan come to fruition, probably dropping rocks on the PCs' heads in the process.
It's rare for a Clever Twist to be recieved well; even in cases where the table
seems to like it, there's often at least one player privately fantasising about throwing dice at the GM. While Clever Twists are an issue across tatterpigs as a form, they seem especially common in the d20sphere, probably because:
- D&D is The Roleplaying Game; it's where a lot of people get their start as a GM, and newbie GMs frequently don't get how much something sucks until they've experienced it first-hand, which is also why they keep trying to capture PCs or put them in unwinnable fights they're supposed to run away from.
- Matt Mercer, The Worst Dungeon Master In The World, is apparently addicted to Shocking Betrayals and Player-Versus-Player Strife along with interminable fucking descriptions; but, because popular consensus holds that the guy who voices The Cowboy Who Must Not Be Named is the World's Best DM (he's not, but this post isn't about how overrated he is), people think Clever Twists are the right way to GM.
Fortunately,
THERE IS A CURE! Whenever you, as the GM, think something's going to be So Fucking Cool and the other players are going to love it, take a moment to put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself: "Is this Fucking Cool? Would I love it if it were sprung unexpectedly upon me? Am I actually telling and showing them enough information for them to make choices based on more than blind instinct and playing hot-and-cold with me, the GM?"
If the answer to any of those questions is "No," you might have fucked up.