The beacon is lit! Possibility of hijinks is high! I repeat, possibility of hijinks is high!
Eggs, milk, hamburger. A green pepper. Cheese. Regret.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Hebert. We're out of regret. All we have is 'crushing self loathing.'"
"No, no. I'm full up on that."
If he didn't do this now, he was never going to.
"Leap before you look, Danny…" he told himself, and grabbed his car keys.
And that's the story of how Danny got his first tattoo. (It's a bitchin' one, too: A wizard riding a unicorn across a rainbow while casting a badass lightning spell into the sky, all on a backdrop of butterfly wings in the small of his back!)
Inside was a red-and-white cookbook, its pages yellowed from time and well-worn from use.
Okay,
Joy of Cooking is white with red lettering, so that's not it.
Betty Crocker Cookbook is red with white lettering, so that might be it. Ah-HA!
Better Homes and Garden New Cookbook has a red-and-white checked cover and is a classic. I'm not sure which edition Danny has, so I can't guess which recipe he's looking up. (Given the green peppers, cheese, and hamburger... maybe stuffed peppers?)
And it also wouldn't be Danny Hebert doing it, it'd be Chessman. Chessman wouldn't replace the memory of Annette, wouldn't screw it up like Danny Hebert would.
Whoa, whatever you say there, Mr. Durden!
Danny Hebert could be at the wheel next time, once he'd proven to himself that he could handle this. It's just this once, honest.
*scratches frantically at neck* You got any more of them self-serving justifications? I just need one, man! I can quit any time I want!
MEATLOAF?! With
GREEN PEPPERS?! *curls lip in disgust* Dear lord, maybe it's for the best that they've never made that recipe again.
Also, I demand someone figure out what version of the
Better Homes and Garden Cookbook Danny is using. For verisimilitude!
Sunny wasn't terribly enthused about Taylor's choice of color for the sidewalks,
Sunny is NOT a fan of puce. (A color that, despite knowing better, I always seem to instinctively believe is some sort of green-ish.)
Taylor reasoned, the black would stand out nicely against the different shades of grey that cement tended to come in.
At least fifty, for sure.
(Fun fact: Taylor actually tried to read that book, since her mom had always taught her to never judge a book by it's cover or the various jokes made about it. It made a VERY satisfying noise as she threw it through the wall ten pages in.)
Convenient that Lung never asked how long those sidewalks were going to be.
"Hey, how long-"
Thunder rumbled in the absolutely clear sky above Lung's towering form.
"-would you like the scarf I am knitting for you to be?"
Taylor settled with her back against the brick sides of a building to wait, and just peoplewatch for a while. Wow, it seemed like everyone had a cell phone these days. She wondered what the appeal was.
She... doesn't even realize that every single one of those cell phones is currently taking pictures and video of her, does she.
Let's just cut right to the portion of the PHO interlude that has XxVoid_CowboyxX getting infracted and banned for speculating that Brushstroke looks just like [
content removed by moderator]
Speculating on a cape's civilian ID is banned, even in another dimension. Nice try. Enjoy your week off. -Tin_Mother
Without a flying cape, it was unlikely they'd be able to track his position from the shot in time to catch him before he got back to Othala,
...um.
Victor? Victor, what are you doing? Victor, seriously, you REALLY don't want to be pointing a rifle at Sunny's miko, I'm totally serious here, that is a BAD IDEA-
His view vanished with a splash of yellow and a rank odor.
Slowly, the dog turned its head to face him, never stopping its stream. The animal had the most disapproving expression he'd ever seen.
I warned you, bro! On your head be it! (And on your rifle and scope, too.)
Thwip! Every one of the laces on his right boot broke at once. The suddenly-loose footwear tripped the Empire cape up, and he stumbled.
Thwip! His belt snapped in two and tumbled to the roof. Thwip-thwip-thwip and his pants came apart, tangling up his legs before Victor could get his balance back.
I... I feel like Victor's mistaken the genre he's found himself in. He THINKS he's in a grimderp action movie. ...but he's actually stumbled into a Three Stooges slapstick. Any second now, he's getting hit in the face with a cream pie.
It pressed one paw against his left hand. It pressed its weight against his fingers, pushing.
"...you bitch. Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare."
It dared.
This little piddy went to the Boardwalk... This little piddy went to the Docks... This little piddy got piddled on... And THIS little piddy shouldn't have pointed a fucking gun at Sunny's miko! ...awwww, Sunny ran outta
piddies!
"Quiet day so far. Nice change of pace."
"Tell me about it. I keep expecting to run into Stormtiger or someone any minute."
Kid Win, at least, has pattern recognition!
With two of theirs in custody the Empire will stage a breakout, you know that.
Two? What, did Victor clam up and pretend to just be some random grunt? (I mean, it might work, right? ...or maybe he got away thanks to Othala buffing him before he was stupid enough to point a gun at Taylor?)
EDIT to add: WoG confirmed that's a typo. Should be three. (Which is sad to me, because I really was hoping Victor had to bluff his way out of that. "I'm not E88!" "Sir, your uniform is-" "The dog dressed me like this!" And then they had to pause and actually CONSIDER THAT POSSIBILITY.)
"I don't see anything. You?" Kid murmured.
"Nothing. Not even any stray soda cans, there's just that box over there."
...no. No, I refuse. I refuse to believe she'd do it.
An overturned cardboard box shuffled closer to the pair, creeping towards the shadow cast by Kid Win's hoverboard. A wet, black nose and a few traces of white fur were poking out of the handle-grip hole near the bottom.
....
.....
.....
*sob* I'm not drunk enough to deal with this. I will NEVER be drunk enough to deal with this.
Aegis stared.
"That is not what I think it is."
"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure it's our ticket to a M/S containment cell."
"...do you think they'll put us next to Miss Militia? She promised to show me how to bottom-deal so I can beat Armsmaster at the monthly poker game."
"I KNEW he was cheating!"
Good Dog froze where it was for a moment as its cover was blown, before quickly sitting up and wrapping its tail around its paws, putting on a serene and unaffected air.
What the fuck, has Sunny been taking lessons from cats? Is THAT how she learned the "I totally meant to do that!" face?
"It has a Stranger power, why--"
"We're sorry, Aegis isn't available right now, all brain cells are currently on vacation. Please hang up and try your thought again."
"Aegis to Console, we have encountered Good Dog. Kid is engaging it in conversation, please advise."
"-what they're serving for dinner in M/S containment, as I am now resigned to spending at least a week in there."
Kid Win grinned. "But I can't just interrupt my patrol for it. Now, if we had to wait around for awhile for something, like say… waiting for backup transport for some downed villain, that'd be a different story."
"...Kid, no. Kid, stop. Good Dog don't listen to him, he's not seriou-- it's already gone."
I honestly have to give Kid Win some points here. He saw a chance, he took it. This is, honestly, the smartest thing I've seen anyone from the PRT/Protectorate do when dealing with Sunny. Straight up honest bribery.
(I believe the record will show that Sunny responds well to bribery.)
Bark! BARK BARK BARK! BARKBARKBARKBARK--BOOOOM! (Fweeee crackle crackle!)
A crash of shattering glass. A single yowl of a cat. (Sunny RESPECTS the classics!)
"Why…" groaned one of the Empire recruits, clutching one arm to his stomach. "Why… does a dog… know C-Q...C…"
A better question is: Why WOULDN'T a dog know CQC? Honestly, if I lived in Brockton Bay, I'd just assume all animals do, at this point.
Plus, Danny is finally starting to be less of a disappointment of a father
Oh, yeah. THAT'S a high bar to clear. Way to set your sights high! [/sarcasm]
Actually, normally I'd be ranting about Danny and how he makes me So Damn Mad, but.... Seriously, US has done a really good job of showing us the inside of Danny's head here without making him into a cliche or a walking angst fest AND demonstrating that, in Worm, powers never fix what's wrong with you. They just make it easier for you to make it WORSE. So, while I'm frustrated as hell at Danny, I'm not actually MAD at him, and that's entirely to US's credit. (So well done and kudos on that, US!)
