Oh, dear. We're almost to the story's mid-life crisis. Quick! Hide the little red sports cars.
Armsmaster was still buried in the wiring and innards of whatever gadget he was working on this week.
The Brush-O-Tron 9000. Do you know how much time is wasted every day on brushing your teeth? With the Brush-O-Tron 9000, your teeth are cleaned in NANOSECONDS with the amazing power of sonic waves! ...and he's pretty sure he's got that whole "shattering your teeth" thing whipped!
he usually gave such things his full apparent attention.
Armsmaster has Snake installed on his HUD. He tried Doom, but... the one time he failed to lock down his armor before playing put an end to THAT.
"Surreal," both Assault and Battery said at once.
Oh, goD. They've reached THAT level of disgusting couplehood.
She was agitated, and insisted on speaking with me alone, without Brushstroke or Assault in the room;
*crosses fingers* C'mon, confession... c'mon, confession....
*crosses toes* C'mon, confession via tonsil-seeking kiss... c'mon, confession via tonsil-seeking kiss....
*glances at Battery hopefully*
THAT COUNTS. I'M COUNTING THAT. Purity wants to be out and she decided to talk to Battery about it! IT'S CANON.
"And I think she's willing to roll on Kaiser to get it."
Well, she already rolled on him once to get INTO the E88, so....
Battery sat ramrod straight in the tiny office chair,
Hey, at least you've got a chair, right? This COULD be a formal tea ceremony. Ask Lung how that turned out for him.
it wasn't quite bright enough to hide her nervous shifts and fidgeting.
"Soooo... have you ever considered traveling to any islands in Greece?"
CSI: Boston until Accord got it shut down for continuity errors,
(Filled the studio with death traps.)
"Okay." What did television have to do with anything?
Well, next she rolls the conversation around to Glee, and....
sometimes there's an informant too. Someone who'll agree to testify, and the police have to put them in Witness Protection. [snip] But… do you suppose that ever happens in real life?
Translation: "HIDE ME FROM THE E88 PLEASE."
What did you call me here for?"
"At all, or you specifically?"
*crosses fingers*
*cues
the music*
*HOPES*
To be honest, Battery was curious.
*puerile giggle* I've read stories that start like this!
oh please oh please oh please
I asked for you because you're a woman, and you might understand better.
"Tell me, Battery... have you ever watched a gladiatress movie?"
But not Miss Militia, Battery thought.
Randomly... I know it's wrong, but I can't help but mentally picture Battery as a tiny asian girl. I
know it's wrong. But that's my mental image of her. I think it's because I remember the glowing lines and somehow my brain somehow goes "Hey, that's just like Jubilee's power! That's who you should picture when you think of Battery! ...what do you mean "How?"? Shut up, that's how!"
Look, I'm not-- I'm not asking you to feel sympathy or forgiveness.
No, that's not what she's hoping you'll feel. ...unless those are her pet names for the twins?
I've done terrible things.
*coffs*
*slowly turns to eye Kaiser*
Battery had a sudden moment of understanding for Brushstroke's insistence upon tea.
Whatever you do... DON'T SAY THAT AROUND PIGGOT.
She took a sip and pretended to savor it.
"pretended"? I knew it! Battery's obviously a bourbon girl!
I won't lie and say that's a bad deal. But the Protectorate would need some assurance-- like I said before, you're not exactly trusted, Purity. Why should we take you up on this? And why now?
She's been hurt before, Purity! How does she know you won't break her heart again?
Battery saw the Blaster's hand drift over to her stomach. Oh. Oh jeeze.
Benefit of having a female hero here: A male hero might not have noticed that. (Or, more likely, noticed it, assumed it was because she had an upset stomach, and offered her an antacid.)
"I told you. I know Kaiser. What kind of man he is, what kind of world he wants to build, and-- and--" If she had tried to deny the E88 cape's signs of fear before, there was no doing so now. Purity swallowed heavily and said, "And that's not the world I want for my baby."
"No one should require nothing but Wagner on the radio 24/7!"
"Implying that she may have already had a baby." Piggot sighed. "Well that complicates things. There's no way she'd cooperate if she knew her child would be taken from her by Protective Services."
Yes, I'm sure that would work out wonderfully for them. She would probably give Aster up without any problems at all. </deadpan>
Oh! Oh! Solution! Step one: Get someone to summon Skitter. Step Two: Hand Skitter a gun. Step Three: ...well, we ALL know Step Three.
I'm a
problem solver!
it wouldn't be the first time the Protectorate's shuffled someone around and kept an eye on them, is all I'm saying.
Yeah, but the last time, the person in question was hitting on... your... wife.... oh, well played. Now, casually bring up how you've got that empty guest room....
Blaster 8 isn't something you turn down easily.
I pity the person who turns down Purity's date requests.
Night and Fog haven't been seen lately, right?
Isn't that Night's whole thing, though?
According to Purity, they skipped town already.
I wouldn't say "skipped"... more like "drove their impeccable '55 Bel Air out of town while Fog smoked a pipe."
Purity, Night, and Fog were the heaviest hitters the Empire had.
Is he calling them fat? I think he's calling them fat.
"If we take out the Empire, that would make Brockton Bay the only major population center in the US with more heroes than villains."
Leaving only the Merchants... and Lung, sobbing softly into his sake as he somehow ends up owing Sunny ANOTHER favor.
"And I'll see what I have prepared for Fenja and Menja.
I'm going to bet it's some sort of halberd. Only bigger. Stronger. More... euphemistic. *eyebrow waggle*
she gave me a couple of those paper slips as a goodwill gift. I'll toss 'em at the Thinktank.
And that's how the entire Thinktank all came down with simultaneous migraines and a vendetta against Assault....
"As aggravating as those reports were, as long as they aren't related to more Good Dog bullshit I'll be happy," Piggot groused.
*wild, hysterical laughter* You fool! I'm not going to say that everything in Brockton Bay revolves around Sunny, but... that's only because (if I understand my mythology correctly) that understates it by an entire planet.
"That nice streak will get you in trouble someday," she said.
Not if little Miss "I Can Make Lightning Make Right Turns" has anything to say about it.
Taylor looked up, confused, when she heard Sunny's tail start thwapping on the floor.
Speaking as someone who's had to stand behind an excited Labrador retriever... I would just start planning how to replace those boards now, Taylor.
"Wh-- Kayden? You're Purity?"
"Sorry."
I cannot help but imagine Kayden doing the "awkward anime head scratch" at this point.
Still, you never really expected someone you knew to just be a parahuman.
Meanwhile, in his lab, Chessman sneezes hard enough to tip over his chair.
If the past few months had taught her anything--and they had taught her quite a lot, thanks Baachan--
Is that a May-December romance I sense? (Probably not, but I'm not going to let reality stop me NOW.)
Lung was entirely petty and constantly shirtless?
Eventually, she's going to consider that last one a bonus instead of a detractor... and on that day, Danny's heart will explode. Literally explode.
There was probably something profound in this mess that Taylor reluctantly called Cape Business.
Naaaaaw. That's just crazy talk. (Calling it: Taylor's going to save the world by convincing Scion that Tea Time is Courtesy Time... and someone is ALWAYS drinking tea SOMEWHERE.)
"Just 'okay?' You are having tea with a supervillain."
I... don't know how to tell you this, Kayden, but... you're really not all that super at it?
"...my god, no wonder nobody knows how to handle you."
The Chart stands ready for the first person to succeed at handling her! ...also, Danny's tire iron. (I'm crossing my fingers for the scene when Lung asks her to homecoming.)
"This stays between us, okay?"
Is that because this is something that Dares Not Speak Its Name?
I don't suppose I could hire you two as a bodyguard for a little bit?
Yes, Taylor. Guard Kayden's boNOPE. NOPE. SCOTCH TIME. TIME FOR SCOTCHY SCOTCHY SCOTCH.
I'd sleep a bit better knowing someone was on guard. Someone that Kaiser was reluctant to touch.
This is where I was going to make some sort of joke about the kind of people Kaiser would be reluctant to touch, but... I couldn't think of a way to make it that didn't sound HORRIBLY RACIST.
...besides, given the track records of those who cry the loudest against something... that they're secretly doing, that wouldn't work anyways.
Kayden turned her pleading eyes on Sunny,
Let's be clear on exactly what's happening here: Kayden, a Blaster
8, is currently asking a big, fluffy dog to defend her child(ren, because I feel like Theo should be included in this) against the current godfather figure of crime in Brockton Bay. ...and we ALL believe that dog can DO IT.
"You too, Taylor. Here's hoping it's a quiet night."
Oh, god damn it, Kayden. God damn it to HELL. Have you never seen even a single horror movie?!
I'm seeing two possible futures. One where Taylor is confused for a teenaged mom or two where the Shrine becomes a daycare.
*slowly glances at Sunny*
Is... is she NOT?
