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Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]

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Abject Testament said:
An idea of something I very can much see shipgirls doing: Aggressive Cuddling.

What is aggressive cuddling? Well it's not all that different from normal cuddling until a shipgirls significant other tries to get up. The shipgirl, if she is engaging in aggressive cuddling, will attempt to keep their significant other in a cuddle position. This can range from being as mild the girl simply grabbing hold of the arm/shirt, locking their arms around their significant other in an embrace, and even up to being tied down by mooring lines like Gulliver by her fairies.

This really isn't, in my opinion, outside the realm of possibility, especially with that last one. We have seen a shipgirl's fairies act on their own before like when one of Alaska's fairies used signal flags to Cameron to spell out the message 'Kiss her'.... Or when Sara's fairies harpooned Stewart's ear to drag him back down to her. Honestly, if a shipgirl's fairies have been shown to go that far to keep the girl's significant other close by, then being tied down like Gulliver is also likely. Though in that case, it would most like likely end up with the shipgirl's significant other being tied to them.
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'Aggresive cuddling' is now my favorite euphemism for bondage. But yes, i can see this happening. There is no escaping the cuddle pile.
 
Naka / Minion is what should be. Though what would be even more hilarious is if Naka somehow thought dressing up Minion as a Minion would be even funnier...

*Naka starts her web feed*
Naka: Hi-hi! Naka-chan, idol of the fleet, desu~! Today I have a very special guest with me today while I play World of Warships! Everyone, please say hello to Minion!
*She pulls Minion in front of the camera; Minion is dressed up as a Minion, and desperately looks like he wants to be anywhere else right then.*
Naka: Say hello to everyone, Minion-san!
Minion: *Deadpan* Hello, everyone.
*Naka starts going on about playing WoWs; Minion stands in the background and silently holds up signs like Wile E. Coyote: 'Help', 'I don't get paid enough for this', 'Please kill me', 'She's driving me crazy'*

:D
 
A letter to the Lady Arizona.

Our Ari, who art in Pearl
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy skirts be long
Thy garters strong
On ships as they are on women.
Give us this day our daily cutes
And forgive us our lewd fantasies
As we forgive those who would show us their lewds.
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from Mutsu.
For thine is the Harbor
And the chaste, and the prude.
For ever and ever
Amen.

Signed,
Darkhound
 
Lt Darkhound said:
A letter to the Lady Arizona.

Our Ari, who art in Pearl
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy skirts be long
Thy garters strong
On ships as they are on women.
Give us this day our daily cutes
And forgive us our lewd fantasies
As we forgive those who would show us their lewds.
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from Mutsu.
For thine is the Harbor
And the chaste, and the prude.
For ever and ever
Amen.

Signed,
Darkhound
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You know some people might find that insulting. I find it disrespectful.
 
ijnfleetadmiral said:
Naka / Minion is what should be. Though what would be even more hilarious is if Naka somehow thought dressing up Minion as a Minion would be even funnier...

*Naka starts her web feed*
Naka: Hi-hi! Naka-chan, idol of the fleet, desu~! Today I have a very special guest with me today while I play World of Warships! Everyone, please say hello to Minion!
*She pulls Minion in front of the camera; Minion is dressed up as a Minion, and desperately looks like he wants to be anywhere else right then.*
Naka: Say hello to everyone, Minion-san!
Minion: *Deadpan* Hello, everyone.
*Naka starts going on about playing WoWs; Minion stands in the background and silently holds up signs like Wile E. Coyote: 'Help', 'I don't get paid enough for this', 'Please kill me', 'She's driving me crazy'*

:D
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I want this to be canon somehow. XD
Lt Darkhound said:
A letter to the Lady Arizona.

Our Ari, who art in Pearl
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy skirts be long
Thy garters strong
On ships as they are on women.
Give us this day our daily cutes
And forgive us our lewd fantasies
As we forgive those who would show us their lewds.
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from Mutsu.
For thine is the Harbor
And the chaste, and the prude.
For ever and ever
Amen.

Signed,
Darkhound
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Ari is trying to maintain a stern, unamused facade. But she's failing. Partly because Mutsu is dying of laughter and partly because it's a really funny parody.
 
Old Iron said:
I want this to be canon somehow. XD
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I forget who wrote the Adventures of Naka and Minion...was it you or JMPer? If it was you, by all means make it canon. :D

Naka: *Notices Minion is Not Having Fun and giggles* Don't mind Minion-san, everyone...he might be unhappy right now, but an idol always has ways of keeping her people happy. *Grins impishly* We'll reverse the dress-up roles later, right Minion-san? Or should I call you my Manager? *Casts wide innocent eyes at Minion, who reddens considerably and clears his throat awkwardly, causing her to dissolve into giggles*
 
ijnfleetadmiral said:
I forget who wrote the Adventures of Naka and Minion...was it you or JMPer? If it was you, by all means make it canon. :D

Naka: *Notices Minion is Not Having Fun and giggles* Don't mind Minion-san, everyone...he might be unhappy right now, but an idol always has ways of keeping her people happy. *Grins impishly* We'll reverse the dress-up roles later, right Minion-san? Or should I call you my Manager? *Casts wide innocent eyes at Minion, who reddens considerably and clears his throat awkwardly, causing her to dissolve into giggles*
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I now have an image in my head of ALL the shipgirls on base getting together one night dressing up as 'Despicable Me' minions and acting like the base admiral is Gru.
 
ijnfleetadmiral said:
Naka / Minion is what should be. Though what would be even more hilarious is if Naka somehow thought dressing up Minion as a Minion would be even funnier...

*Naka starts her web feed*
Naka: Hi-hi! Naka-chan, idol of the fleet, desu~! Today I have a very special guest with me today while I play World of Warships! Everyone, please say hello to Minion!
*She pulls Minion in front of the camera; Minion is dressed up as a Minion, and desperately looks like he wants to be anywhere else right then.*
Naka: Say hello to everyone, Minion-san!
Minion: *Deadpan* Hello, everyone.
*Naka starts going on about playing WoWs; Minion stands in the background and silently holds up signs like Wile E. Coyote: 'Help', 'I don't get paid enough for this', 'Please kill me', 'She's driving me crazy'*

:D
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ijnfleetadmiral said:
Naka: *Notices Minion is Not Having Fun and giggles* Don't mind Minion-san, everyone...he might be unhappy right now, but an idol always has ways of keeping her people happy. *Grins impishly* We'll reverse the dress-up roles later, right Minion-san? Or should I call you my Manager? *Casts wide innocent eyes at Minion, who reddens considerably and clears his throat awkwardly, causing her to dissolve into giggles*
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Personally, I was waiting for her to demand he start speaking in Minion-ese.

Naka: You're breaking character, Minion-san~!
Minion: ...seriously? You're going to make me--
Naka: Oh, by the way, everyone, you remember how I mentioned Akashi-san was seeing about fitting me for a new main battery? Well...
Minion: *heavy sigh* Bello, tokas.
Naka: *grins* It's going to be a few more days before it's ready!
Minion: *deadpan* Ka blummock to...

(Minionese courtesy of The Minions Language Translator Game)
 
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Farmerbob1 said:
I now have an image in my head of ALL the shipgirls on base getting together one night dressing up as 'Despicable Me' minions and acting like the base admiral is Gru.
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Hiei: You're already grumpy enough~
Mutsu: And I know you can do the voice~
Richardson: *grumblegrumble* ...let me get my scarf.
LadyPearl said:
Well you're going to hell. Fuck it, we're all going to hell now!
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I cannot deny the possibility. XD
ijnfleetadmiral said:
I forget who wrote the Adventures of Naka and Minion...was it you or JMPer? If it was you, by all means make it canon. :D
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I did. Minion was Naka's cameraman for the wedding and later helped her to the docks for deployment after she and Jintsuu had their booze fueled mourning of Sendai.

He also threatened to give her phone to her fans or the Admiral when she refused to wake up. :p
 
Just a few questions...
Shinano summons up all her self confidence and walks and sits down at Pennsylvania's table in the mess hall.

Shinano: Miss Pennsy...I just heard that we are supposed to start praying to Ari-Mama now. Is that true?

Pennsy: (thinks to herself, Ari hates being a martyr, being made a saint would probably drive her crazy) No, we are not supposed to pray to Arizona. Just pray to SecNav like all good ship girls. (Now maybe Shinano will go away and let me drink my coffee in peace)

Shinano: but what if I am not American?

Pennsy: (So much for my coffee) Listen, we dropped atomic bombs on two of your cities. In my opinion we should have dropped more, but we didn't. So by my estimation, Japan did not get what it deserved. So that is mercy.
Then we rebuilt your country into what would become the foundation for one of the greatest industrial nations ever established. So you got something you did not deserve.That is grace.
(Picks up the jar of Nutella off of Shinano's tray) Your food is coming from the US as well. So pray to the combined pantheons of Greece, Rome, Egypt, and India if you want, but make sure you mention SecNav in there too. Understand?

Shinano: Ooohhh...I see your point. Do you think most ship girls believe in Hell?

Pennsy: I don't know. Some do, some don't, some should, and some of us are living in it right now.

Shinano: (missing Pennsy's not so subtle hint to go away) Oh, yes, I'm sorry. I know you bear many burdens and I'm sorry the world feels so bad to you.

Pennsy: (Stands up from the table) That is far too personal a statement for you to make to me.

Shinano: (lowers her eyes) I apologize, Lieutenant. I just wanted to say thank you for listening to me and answering my questions. I would have asked Miss Jersey, but I was afraid she would have thought it was a joke, and everyone says you don't have a sense of humor.

Pennsy: (rolls her eyes) Good day, Shinano. (starts to walk away) ...and you're welcome.

Shinano: (waits for the battleship who looks so much like her dear friend to get out of earshot) Regardless of who I pray to, I always pray for you and your sister.
 
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