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Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]

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7734 said:
Jays, you guys are having a party implosion. Calm down, admit that this may be a rough spot, and wait patiently instead of sniping at each other.

@theJMPer, I suggest a nice, big brawl soon. After all, they've yet to run a gauntlet and fight something like Forsaken Island Princess.
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Hey, Forsaken Island Princess is Sirius' waifu! Wait, Sirius isn't here. Sorry Isley , guess you might be killed without ever knowing a husband.
 
landcollector said:
Settle? This isn't KCQ. I think you meant Adm. Williams?
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oops my bad the point still stands though, and honestly Musashi needs to fall on her sword here considering nothing actually happened and Jerseys getting thrown under a bus for her lie.
edit; and I honestly don't know what KCQ is, Settle just happens to be my bosses name.
 
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Always Late said:
You have already provided the ideal response to your post.
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Did you read your own citation? Because you either didn't read my post, or you didn't read your own citation. I said "Goto didn't say no Twitter/Instagram, he said no posting", and then you responded with "No he didn't, he said no posting anywhere".

And way to ignore the last half of my post. You know what annoys me about you? It's that all you ever do is pick at what you see as problems with stories, and never offer suggestions for how things could have done better.

To put it how you might understand:

No one cares that you criticize, what people care about is that you fail to do so effectively.

You come off as a whinging child whose nanny has told him he may not have any more sweetmeats, and that's why you think everyone's super salty towards you.

So I say again: What do you suggest for Jersey and Musashi's punishments? How do you think this could have been done better?

To be honest, I was expecting Mushi to lose a bar over this, since she really did most of the spectacular stupid. But I'm not calling her being put on probation, basically, with strict supervision of her public presence, "No consequences".

theJMPer said:
Her long seclusion had given her time to hone the art of perception, albeit mostly by joining—and subsequently getting banned from—online forums and message boards.
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Here's your citation. In case you think I made it up, go find Chapter 53 yourself. Section 53. Whatever.
 
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Gearhead said:
Best summery of what happens when German engineering goes mildly mad:
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Eh, I've said before (elsewhere granted) that despite being classed as a battleship, Scharn is pretty much a traditional (Imperial) German battlecruiser. Sacrificing guns for armor and speed. Compare her to, I dunno, Seydlitz. Smaller caliber guns than traditional battleships, but also faster and with better armor than her contemporaries.

Now, with the 15-inch guns they're outright battleships. And it's still generally accepted to call them battleships since that's what the Germans did. But she's still basically a continuation of existing German battlecruiser design practice.
 
Always Late said:
1. Less Desirable? :Citation Needed:
2. Jersey facing Crowning? Already confirmed friendzoned last update.
3. Tighter public leashes? I have mentioned Jersey and Musashi's previous antics being under further scrutiny as a possibility, but that is just that: A possibility. We don't know if that's what JMPer will do.

Musashi's intro is Part 35, in direct response to Habakkuk. No such thing is mentioned. Could you quote the passage you are referring to?
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1. Main Fleet Base near major metro area vs Arctic convoy duty or being deployed from a minor base away from entertainment and the major ops. Check out the internet for sailors take on the various Far East bases if you wish.
2. And what could Williams do that would be worse?
3. No response needed
4.Musashi's intro was Part 34c.
 
Sasebo is hardly getting sent to Outer Mongolia. But there is almost certainly an ulterior motive to sending her there: She's gonna wind up getting some quality time with Aunty Arizona.
 
LudicrousSpeedGo said:
1. Main Fleet Base near major metro area vs Arctic convoy duty or being deployed from a minor base away from entertainment and the major ops. Check out the internet for sailors take on the various Far East bases if you wish.
2. And what could Williams do that would be worse?
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1. Her unit would have had to stop in Sasebo for their op so that really is a slap on the wrist for Jersey.
2. Demote her a few ranks down.
 
PAGDTenno said:
Did you read your own citation? Because you either didn't read my post, or you didn't read your own citation. I said "Goto didn't say no Twitter/Instagram, he said no posting", and then you responded with "No he didn't, he said no posting anywhere".
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Musashi can post so long as she runs it by Naka or Goto. That is the part you claimed did not happen, which I cited.
PAGDTenno said:
And way to ignore the last half of my post. You know what annoys me about you? It's that all you ever do is pick at what you see as problems with stories, and never offer suggestions for how things could have done better.
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Never?
Always Late said:
You either play it to the hilt and keep this is a permanent awkward memory in the back of Jersey and Musashi's minds, or you scrap the plotline all together.
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Always Late said:
That only works if they don't use their second chance to shape up. More oversight that never makes itself apparent or ends up being needed is no oversight at all. Now if Jersey and Musashi's previously allowed excesses start getting harsh gazes on them, that's something different.
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Lemme borrow another part of your post again.
PAGDTenno said:
To put it how you might understand:
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When someone is rude to me, when someone dishonestly debates with me, when someone gets heated up over incorrect information they insist is right, when someone makes passionate arguments that demonstrate they have not when any of the above demand they be acknowledged... I am very disinclined to give them anything more than the bare minimum of respect the site rules require, because they have not shown it to me.
But I do give them the respect required by the site. I don't stoop to their level.
You have repeatedly misrepresented your (initially) uncited claims. Musashi still has internet privileges, she can still play video games, I have presented alternatives to the thread.
You have insulted and belittled me rather than engage in civil debate. Calling your opponent a child is one of the most blatant and common ad hominems out there.
You have, at the very best, not read thoroughly the update you're arguing over and the posts you're attempting to shame me over.
And you have done this in a thread read by no less than three mods.
PAGDTenno, you have broken into the jewelry store across from the police station hosting a SWAT reunion.
If you had come to me with the chapter quotes right off the bat, if you had asked me what my suggested alternatives were without an insulting, high-horse attitude, we wouldn't be having this conversation. We'd probably be talking about specific internet habits that don't require a censor looking over your shoulder, we'd be talking about playing WOWs without using chat.
But instead, we are here.
PAGDTenno said:
No one cares that you criticize, what people care about is that you fail to do so effectively.
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You know, if anyone else but you had said that, I'd have asked what you see as going wrong.
But I can tell you're not interested in accurate representation and presentation of alternatives.
Still, I think the staff will be very interested to hear how what you are doing is effective criticism.
PAGDTenno said:
Here's your citation. In case you think I made it up, go find Chapter 53 yourself. Section. Whatever.
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Thank you. And I do not think you made that up because I can follow the quote arrow and see the section near the top. I clearly needed to look further into the Atak arc than just the first 5-6 chapters.
LudicrousSpeedGo said:
1. Main Fleet Base near major metro area vs Arctic convoy duty or being deployed from a minor base away from entertainment and the major ops. Check out the internet for sailors take on the various Far East bases if you wish.
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Hm. Given Jersey, like Musashi, is one of the key battleships in the entire Pacific, I am hesitant to believe the Admiralty would keep her back from a major operation because of this issue. They can make her sit in time-out, but she'd be brought back to wherever the heat is thickest, because there's no other shipgirl who can do what Jersey can.
Away from entertainment would mean a bit more if Jersey wasn't an absolutely mess with computers.
LudicrousSpeedGo said:
2. And what could Williams do that would be worse?
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Within the limitation of keeping her in the fight: Strip her of her rank.
Jersey was over the moon when she got promoted. It was validation of her skill and capability as a ship, something she has in doubt over her failure to be at Samar. Jersey would then view herself as a failure to her fellow ships when they needed her, a failure to the guy she cares about, a disgrace to the entire navy as an institution, and now she's the destroyer of her own success. Jersey would be emotionally crushed.
LudicrousSpeedGo said:
4.Musashi's intro was Part 34c.
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*checks*
theJMPer said:
The Kanmusu gave a half-nod of acknowledgement, her attention focused on her computer and the game she was playing. World of Warships, if what he could see though her tied-up tufts of snowstorm-white hair told him anything.
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So still World of Warships. How does this prove Musashi has lost her Vidya privileges?
 
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...

Well. That was a thing.

Aaaanyways let's talk about something else! Something... iunno. Hrm.

Shipgirls doing shipthing- no bad. Uh. I'm empty.
 
theJMPer said:
The Admiral's office was quiet as death itself. Not even the gentle breeze visible though battened-down windows broke the utter silence. Admiral Goto stared though the knit palisade of his steepled fingers, wordless disappointment writ large on his weathered features. Beside him was the larger-than-life image of Admiral Williams displayed on a flat-screen.

Like his Japanese counterpart, the American Vice-Admiral wore a look of utter and complete disappointment, and his gaze was only barely reduced to save levels by the camera he was forced to look through.

The two men weren't just Admirals, they were high Admirals. Williams was in overall command of the Pacific fleet, while Goto lead the entire Japanese shipgirl force. Men like that never personally handled disciplinary issues. They had a million pressing duties to attended to, a simple ass-reaming could be delegated to an available Lieutenant or Master Chief.

Unless, of course, the fuckup was of such a serious nature that it demand the presence of not one, but two Admirals.

On the other side of the desk, standing at firm attention and trying not to think about scuttling herself, was the American super-battleship New Jersey. The heels of her sneakers were pressed together, her chest was held out with her shoulders back and her chin held high. Her icy eyes were locked on an imaginary point on the horizon, and her hands were pressed against her bare thighs to keep them from shaking.

The battleship was a force to be reckoned with on the sea, but she could honestly say she'd never been so utterly terrified as she was right now. It was a good thing she'd had a light lunch, or she'd be shitting enough bricks to pave the Pacific.

Beside her, Musashi stood at tense attention. Jersey could tell the chocolate-skinned warship was just as terrified as she was. For good reason, she was used to Imperial Japanese discipline.

Jersey blinked and allowed herself a nervous, rattling breath. She'd rather try to take on a full carrier battlegroup with nothing but blanks and kind words than endure her Admiral's stony silence another instant.

"Jersey," Williams' gravely voice rasped though the television's speakers. Suddenly, Jersey wished he'd stayed silent a little longer.

"Sir?" Jersey forced herself to stand even straighter.

"Do you know why you're here?" Williams' voice was as calm and level as parched lakebed, which only made Jersey's heart twist into knots. It was a well-known Navy fact that the intensity of one's fuckup was inversely proportional to the voume of the one doing the correcting.

"I…" Jersey stopped to gather herself. "I made a mockery of myself and the Navy."

Williams just nodded.

"I embarrassed myself in front of our host nation," Jersey bit her lip until she tasted oily copper. "My conduct was unbecoming of an officer of the navy."

"Damn right it was," said Williams. "I could bust you down to Ensign for that, if not kick you out entirely."

"Yes sir," Jersey nodded.

"But I won't," said her Admiral. "I understand there were… mitigating circumstances."

The battleship nodded again. Her Admiral was handing down her judgement, arguing with him would be as pointless as screaming into the wind to quiet it down.

"It's not easy to loose a sister," said Williams. "And we need you on the line. Which is why I'm giving you this one chance."

"Sir," Jersey felt her fingernails dig into the meat of her thigh and tried to quell the nervous tension building in her stomach.

"Don't make me regret it. Williams out." The Admiral's stony glare vanished into the inky blackness of the flat-screen's 'no input' screen.

"And you," Goto spoke for the first time, his gaze locked on Musashi's. "This isn't like you."

"Sir," Musashi nodded timidly.

"Explain yourself," demanded Goto without so much as a sliver of anger in his level voice.

"I…" Musashi glanced at Jersey for a moment, then down at her toes. "There's no excuse, sir."

"I know," said Goto. "But Musashi… this isn't like you. What happened?"

Musashi pursed her lips. The leather of her skirt creaked as she strained to stand even taller and stiffer. "I was hidden for so long," she said. "When I could finally show off… I let myself be overwhelmed, sir."

"Will it happen again?"

"No sir," protested the battleship. "I swear it, sir."

"Mmm," Goto nodded. "Musashi, you're not to post anything anywhere without getting approval from myself or Naka."

"Understood, sir."

"Jersey," said Goto. "You and your task-force are to sail for Sasebo at dawn tomorrow to prepare for the South-China-Sea offensive."

"Sir," Jersey nodded.

"Musashi," Goto glanced at the Japanese battlewagon, "the latest convoy's almost turned around. You're to join the escort fleet."

"Understood," Musashi snapped to attention.

"Both of you," Goto waved to the door, "Dismissed."

"Sir!" Jersey and Musashi saluted as one, then hastily evacuated the room as fast as their shaking legs could take them.

As the door swung shut behind her, Jersey ripped at her scarf with a sweat-slick hand. "Fuck me…"

"Perhaps…" Musashi wiped quivering hands on her sweat-slick belly. "Not."

"Mushi?" Jersey fished her mirrored shades from her pocket and slipped them over her icy eyes.

"Mmm?"

"What do you say," said the American, "We pretend this never happened and go back to being badass battleships?"

Musashi thought for a second, then planted her gloved hands on her hips and nodded. "I, Musashi, think this is an excellent plan."

"Kick ass and take names?" Jersey offered her fist to the chocolate amazon.

"Kick ass and take names." Musashi returned the gesture with a hard fist-pound of her own.
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Given all the things that happened I am okay with this outcome. Admirals handing down punihsments directly is more than likely overkill, but we're also dealing with two of the most powerful war machines on the oceans right now. Standard op is probably going to take some time to properly get the hang of even if it's already been written.

Now they can take this unfortunate episode of their lives and work on how to go from here.

And Sasebo shenanigans inbound. This should be glorious. :drevil:
Heavy Cruiser Prinz Eugen of the United States Navy sat with everything below her waterline covered by the warm embrace of something Frisco called a… kotatsu. It was a very strange invention, essentially a space-heater with a blanket thrown over, and that simplicity offended Prinz Eugen's refined Teutonic engineering sensibilities nearly as much as the potential for unplanned fires did.

However, as much as the big German-born cruiser would have preferred something safer, she had to admit the comforting warmth was amazing. It wasn't quite was comforting as snuggling up with Lou and Frisco in their shared bed, but it was closer than the German would have ever thought possible.

Besides, she'd endured the hellfire of the atom. Twice. And still could've survived if not for the radiation imbued on every surface of her hull. A small electric heater was the least of her concerns.

Especially when a far more confusing matter was assaulting the ordered Prussian matrices of Prinz Eugen's finely-machined mind. "Um," the cruiser coughed, partly for attention and partly to clear out the last scraps of burn-up phlegm left over from her incompetent American crew, "Frisco?"

"Yeah?" The beautiful Asian-American cruiser glanced up from her soft resting spot on Prinz Eugen's non-treaty-compliant upperworks.

Prinz Eugen opened her mouth, but it took her a moment to find the words. "The Frauleins…" she said. "Why are they driving the Panzerkampfwagens?"

"You know," Lou glanced over from her chosen resting-spot on the other half of Prinz Eugen's soft, fluffy chest. "I've been wondering the same thing."

Frisco bit her lip and blushed. "You know…" she sank lower under the protective warmth of the kotatsu. "I'm not really sure."

"I am not complaining," said Prinz Eugen. "Merely… confused."

"I think we all are," said Lou.

"Japan is weird," said Frisco, although her voice was muffled by the heavy blankets she was swaddled under.

"Mmm," Prinz Eugen nodded sagely. "I would much rather have allied with America."

"Well now you're allied with both of us!" chirped Lou.

Frisco's head popped out from under the heavy blankets just off Prinz Eugen's hip. "And we're happy to have you!"

Prinz Eugen blushed a bright red. "D-danke!" she said. "Danke! Danke!"

"Oh… stop it!" Lou waved her hand in what was supposed to be a dismissive gesture, only for the much larger German to effortlessly grab in her a squeezing hug and smother her in ample Teutonic Lebensraum…es.

"Suft," mumbled Lou though a face-full of squishy German-engineered softness.

"You know…" Prinz Eugen sighed and slumped back against a pillow. "The two of you remind me of panzerfuhrer Miho." She smiled and stroked Lou's beautiful shimmering red hair. "You have always gone out of your way to make me feel welcome and loved."

"Aww…" Lou giggled and flopped back onto the floor.

Frisco purred and sprawled out from under the kotatsu in a most cat-like manner.

"Now," Prinz Eugen giggled, "If only we could get some skintight anglerfish costumes…" The cruiser swore she heard a record needle scratch somewhere as both Americans looked up at her with abject horror. "Kidding!"
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I needed more Pringles in my life and this made up for the lack thereof in spades.
Yeoman Sarah Gale had never in her entire life been quite so mortified as she was at this very moment. Every time she brought a girl home, every single time without fail her mother had to go all Southern-hospitality. It was endearing as all hell, but it was also utterly embarrassing. But at least normally whatever girl Gale might bring around would be aware of her mortification, and try to steer the conversation away from the inevitable subject of weddings.

But not Wash. The serene battleship seemed utterly oblivious of Gale's growing embarrassment, and she was happy to indulge Gale's mother's love of wedding talk. While the two of them hadn't actually set a date yet, they had established that Wash would wear her dress whites for the ceremony—after a bit of good-natured ribbing from Gale's mother about how well Wash would fill them out—, and that it would be a spring wedding, and that Jersey would be Wash's maid of honor.

Gale was pretty sure that would be an utter disaster, but at least Jersey of derailing any conversation that wasn't sufficiently focused on herself or her awesomeness. Wash just let her mother guide the conversation, which was a very, very bad thing.

"Well," Gale's mother chuckled and placed a fresh pan of steaming green-beans in front of the hungry battleship. In the ongoing battle between Wash's unstoppable appetite and Gale's mother's immovable southern need to overwhelm her guests with food, Wash seemed to be winning. But not by much. "You're a hungry one, aren't you?"

Wash nodded. "I'm a battleship, and this is quite delicious."

"Honey," Gale's mother laughed and tousled the warship's russet brown hair. "You're too kind."

"You deserve it, mother," said Wash.

"WASH!" Gale banged her head against the table as she soared to new and interesting levels of embarrassment.

Wash glanced at the love of her life. "Gale?"

"Don't worry, honey," Gale's mother chuckled and re-filled Wash's glass. "This happens every time she brings a girl home."

"Because of you, Ma!"

"I'm your mother, dear," Gale's mother giggled and mussed her daughter's hair. "It's in the job description."

Gale mumbled something into her napkin, so Wash offered a quick hug to cheer her up.

"At least," Gale's mother cackled to herself, "I'm not asking you about grandkids!"

"Maaaaaaa," Gale grunted.

Wash, however, just looked confused. "Pardon me… mother?"

"Yes?" Gale's mother spun around on her heel like a short, pudgy top.

"Why…" The battleship stiffened up and brushed a few crumbs off the wool-clad swell of her hearty chest. She pursed her lips and took another moment to straighten her uniform, making sure she was in perfect form to address the highest dignitary she'd ever had the honor of meeting. "Why would you not ask about grandkids?"

Gale's mother gave the battleship an empty glance, while Gale just moaned into her napkin.

"Do…" Wash's voice got very timid, "Do you not think I'm worthy of your daughter?"

"Oh," Gale's mother blushed, and gave the obviously-worried battleship a warm hug. "No, I think the two of you are perfect for each other, dear."

"Then…" Wash trailed off.

"You're… a woman, dear…"

Wash shook her head. "No I'm not… not really."

"Wash, no," moaned Gale.

"I'm… on some level a magical being," said Wash. The battleship puffed out her chest with pride and smiled back at Gale. "I could well be able to carry your daughter's children."

"WASH!" Gale waved a spoon at the battleship.

"Lovely dear!" Gale's mother ignored her daughter's annoyance to pamper Wash some more. "You'd make an adorable mother."

"Ma!"

Wash giggled. "I… I think your daughter would be more adorable."

"GAH!" Gale stormed off to the bathroom in a huff.

Gale's mother chuckled as Wash's serene gaze followed her lover—and said lover's tight leather pants—until they vanished from view.

"Are you checking out my daughter's bottom?" asked Gale's mother with a smirk.

"No," protested the battleship. Then she glanced at her toes and mumbled a quiet "…Yes."

Gale's mother winked.

"I apologize," said Wash. "But… you… she's very attractive."

Gale's mother laughed. "Don't worry a thing, sweetie. Why don't you tell her that."

Wash thought for a second, then nodded resolutely. "GALE!" she yelled to make sure Gale could hear her.

"WHAT?"

"YOU HAVE A VERY NICE BUTT," said Wash with her usual serene detachment.

Somewhere down the hall a glass shattered. "MA!"
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*Iron has died of laughter*
Arizona: *trying to keep a straight face* F-Far t-too amusing.
Mutsu: *has joined Iron*

Simon_Jester said:
The repair ships should definitely know. They're the shipgirl equivalent of doctors- their magic is specifically directed towards understanding how other shipgirls' magic works.
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The repairs ships do seem to know.
Gearhead said:
Sasebo is hardly getting sent to Outer Mongolia. But there is almost certainly an ulterior motive to sending her there: She's gonna wind up getting some quality time with Aunty Arizona.
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I think it would be hilarious to see Jersey and Mushi stand next to each other.

Ari's practically tiny compared to her.
Generic_Generica said:
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Well. That was a thing.

Aaaanyways let's talk about something else! Something... iunno. Hrm.

Shipgirls doing shipthing- no bad. Uh. I'm empty.
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Imagine plushie ships. Now imagine one or more shipgirls curled up asleep in a pile of them. :3
 
landcollector said:
Talk about ways that Gale's mom can continue to embarrass her? I dunno. *shrugs*
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See that's too easy. Gale's too easy- Oh god not like that, I'm not making any double entendres.

Hrm. Possible.

Always Late said:
Ships Und Panzer. AKA, what's every shipgirl's favorite tank.
Jersey's is clearly the Pershing.
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I swear this kind of thing's come up before.

Or maybe it came up in another kancolle thread. Hrm.
 
I just keep imagining Jane writing a High School Fleet with that world's version of her. She just has one problem...

Jane: I just can't chose who I'm Captain of! Ari-Mama? Mutsu-Mama? Hiei-Mama? Jintsuu-Mama? I can't chose!
 
Harry Leferts said:
I just keep imagining Jane writing a High School Fleet with that world's version of her. She just has one problem...

Jane: I just can't chose who I'm Captain of! Ari-Mama? Mutsu-Mama? Hiei-Mama? Jintsuu-Mama? I can't chose!
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She would obviously be the Headmaster. Duh. That way, she gets to visit all of them.
 
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