I didn't miss those. What you fail to understand is that for one, people can change. In theory, something can look good, but once you've taken your relationship to something more serious, you may realize that the person you liked and are great friends with doesn't make the best partner. Hell, Crowning obviously still cares for her enough to understand who and what she is and has gone through to let it go.
Two, a child is a human, but we don't expect them to be adults about something. Should we expect beings that take human form, but are the amalgamation of what, their crew, the spirit of a ship, to be human? To be mature humans? Do we expect weapons of war to have the full social grasp to things outside of war? Sure, their crews lived lives outside of war, but when they served on those ships, it was during war.
When you judge a person for a wrong they committed, you have to understand why they did it. The ship girls have been shown to be emotionally stunted and ironically naive in certain places. They know this, so they judge their own ship girls based off of this. The humans who work with them probably aren't so blind as to miss this about the girls. They also probably don't know everything, so they're not about to walk into something with little understanding.
*hopeful gaze*
