A Little Vice (Trans Magical Girl fic)

Voted best in category in the Users' Choice awards.
I really hate what the word "deconstruction" has become in the context of magical girls. Dudes keep thinking they're clever for asking "what if the source of their powers is evil and wants them to suffer???"

Like no that's not cleverly engaging with trope implications or anything, that's just having a twist. One that's played out and predictable at this point, at that.
Indeed. Having a dark twist in you story is not the same as deconstructing, well, anything.

But I think we're all starting to veer away from this story and should rail this train back.
 
But I think we're all starting to veer away from this story and should rail this train back.
On that note, I've been rereading the recent chapters in anticipation for the new one, and god, the scene in the park just hurts every time. And the whole situation with Inessa in the last couple chapters is just...

The way depressive thinking leads C to literally pushing her friends away feels like such a callout lol. The way her depression and self hate manifests as a whole is very relatable but there it especially hurts because more than anywhere else I want to just... *breathes in* absolutely scream "WHY?????? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT SHE LOVES YOU" at her. But the problem is, at the same time, I already know exactly why, and I hate that I do.

I can only hope the plotline with Inessa not being able to transform forces C to confront the way that self hate spreads into hurting those around you.

Eagerly awaiting when Shadell fills my heart with daggers again next chapter
 
Last edited:
I will say I quite liked Sailor Nothing back in the day and enjoyed what I have read of Nowhere Stars
I can say it shows - Himei and C have very different mental health issues and the overall tone of the "Magical world" is far less dark here, but your care and thoroughness in exploring your POV character's ongoing emotional crisis is at least equal to what I remember of Sailor Nothing's.
 
Missed You
Omake done? Fuck I should've started with the simpler idea. I am an amateur. Been years since I wrote any narrative bigger than a joke. An I'm sleepy. Edit: What the fuck happened to my paragraphs
It was yet another night upon the Abyssal Castle, hers since she won the battle between Beasts and Saints for the destiny of humanity. Invidia Bat made her way through the halls, full from her breakfast and planning her supply run. She came into her room and checked her closet.

She considered the gothic clothes. They were a classic, even if years later, they still caused that pang of saudade. Her cat sweater seemed more appealing tonight, with that skirt she loved to spin in. Though she still misses her bat sweater, ruined by dirt, blood and rips during the ultimate showdown. She still hadn't found a good replacement for it.

Her choice made, she screamed into the night, ripping a tear in reality that she stepped through. Now in the city, she walked through the entrance to the store, going through her list of groceries, batteries, bug repellents, navigating the shelves. She paid for it, left, and walked though the streets.

She passed by the fast food restaurant she used to love, a place where she spent many afternoons with Inessa, years ago, until the Children of the Forest came. They drifted away from each other, and she didn't want to keep attracting resinners to the place. Gazing through the window, she stopped.

They were there. Ida, Temperance, Lupin. Inessa. Talking happily with each other, laughing at something Temperance said in that deadpan way of hers. Invidia found herself enraptured, the desire to come in and be with them again burning inside, clashing with the guilt and the fear. She forced herself to move, quickly making her way through the street and down the stairs, not paying attention to the sound of the door opening.

-Chiro, wait!

She turned at the call, seeing Inessa desperately running in spite of her limp, merely holding her cane. She lost her balance on the stairs, and fell. Invidia, quickly moved towards her path and caught her. Inessa hugged her. No, it was practically a grapple. She tried to set her down, but Inessa wouldn't release her hold. Footsteps sounded. She turned towards them, the others were walking down the stairs.

As she felt Inessa crying on her, and the stares of the others, Invidia Bat, viceroy of sin, winner of the clash between light and dark, lady of the Abyssal Forest, did the only thing she could.

She gently sat down, making sure Inessa was alright, and fainted.
 
Last edited:
I think I had a title but forgot.
Uh, Reunion? Feels a bit plain, but accurate.
Also, thanks to whoever added the idea of Inessa finding her to my original idea.
Edit: Okay, Missed You seems like a better title. If no one has a better idea, I'm going with it.
And the thanks goes to ShadowDrakon for adding to the idea.
 
Last edited:
I really hate what the word "deconstruction" has become in the context of magical girls. Dudes keep thinking they're clever for asking "what if the source of their powers is evil and wants them to suffer???"

Like no that's not cleverly engaging with trope implications or anything, that's just having a twist. One that's played out and predictable at this point, at that.
It's like when people call Shirou Emiya a deconstruction of a Shonen protagonist- no, he just really isn't and saying he is is missing the point.
Much like Madoka Magica as a whole, the character of Shirou and Fate/ Stay Night story in general is used to analyze, break down, and then ultimately rebuild the idea of a shonen protagonist- that our dreams matter, that ultimately? Someone who who wants to strive to protect others and spread hope is...doing just that. A lot of people hold these things up as deconstructions, but...they engage so faithfully with the base ideas that make up their concepts, and ultimately decide that, yes- Magical Girls are brave, strong warriors defending hope and peace, and that that little boy who decided to carry his father's dream of Peace And Justice is, in fact, oh so very human, and not some selfish monster for caring.
 
So, I was thinking on beasts being fleshy and saints using weapons and magic, as the author said. And thought it would be funny if a beast were a tool using animal, and a saint a martial artist punch wizard.
And Ira Raven/Crow is kinda fitting. It makes for an edgy dark magical girl. And those birds are known to hold grudges and, in crows' case, tell each other when someone sucks so they attack them.
 
It's like when people call Shirou Emiya a deconstruction of a Shonen protagonist- no, he just really isn't and saying he is is missing the point.
I mean, he IS in the original, Derrida sense of the term as a critical tool - he demonstrates the "irreducible complexity" of a literary device as the story demonstrates the assumptions that go into that device and how it actually relates to the world around it.

What Shirou is NOT is the post-TVTropes, pop culture definition of Deconstruction, which is "that thing you thought wad good? It's actually bad lmao owned."

THAT'S Fate/Zero. God damn Urobuchi.
 
Before anything else, I want to say I recently found this story and I feel in love with it. I hope C can find balance soon for her sake. I enjoy the character dynamics and I am honestly rather enamored with the Chiro/Invidia/C's current relationships.

THAT'S Fate/Zero. God damn Urobuchi.

As a fan of Fate, I would like to say I don't believe Zero is a deconstruction or anything similar, or a dig at Shirou. Kiritsugu is a tragic figure, someone who desires to good but is helplessly bound to continously do evil. A large reason for this is to serve as a plausible basis for Shirou, as well as a contrasting definition for the Emiya view of heroism. Kiritsugu was willing to kill one to save ten, and at the beginning of Stay Night, Shiro is naively trying to save everyone as a way to avoid the problem of having to possibly hurt people. The arguable bad ending route was Shirou becoming like Kiritsugu, either becoming a counter guardian or doing something like killing Sakura in the Mind of Steel ending. The better endings are Shirou learning to be selfish, to care about himself and to finally choose to live for himself. As a prequel, Zero did a good job of establishing what is supposed to be the expected baseline as well as how that turns out, adding more depth to Stay Night retroactively. Both series, overall, take a poor view of what a traditional hero is, which is why in the other two routes, generally you don't get to take Artoria, the manifestation of a traditional hero, along for the ride. So in that vein, Zero is not a deconstruction of Stay Night, but rather just a view of the how that style of Bryonic Heroism ends. In tragedy and entirely alone.
 
As a fan of Fate, I would like to say I don't believe Zero is a deconstruction or anything similar,
Honestly my commentary here is less about Zero being a deconstruction or "dig" at the original and more about Urobuchi's thesis that altruism is impossible and anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves. He gets points for making Kiritsugu, his mouthpiece for that thesis, also tragically wrong, but the whole work just really belabors the point that everyone is selfish and that the people who claim not to be are actually the worst somehow, which is a REALLY WEIRD thesis for a prequel to the Shirou Emiya "what is selflessness?" power hour.

At least we got Rin's arc to contradict this in the anime, even if that causes its own problems with her later characterization.
 
The issue with a notable portion of Urobuchi's work is that it's ultimately written by a guy who thinks that the way to achieve a happy ending is to be so selfless you destroy yourself for others, but that's okay because you ultimately help people.

...Sorry, but like. I don't respect the guy that much. I still remember early on in my time on the site seeing someone who was obsessed with PMMM and it's endings themes, and who was also pretty stubborn about things. We argued a lot.

I still remember one of the things they mentioned in those arguments - that if they no longer felt they had any way to help or improve the lives of others, then they would rather take their own life than be a burden.

All selflessness. No selfishness.

That's not to say that was all the shows fault. It was not, that individual had been through some shit. They never specified precisely what, but from what they mentioned they didn not have an easy life and that definitely had affected their perceptions of their own worth and peoples actions.

But like, I can't help but think about that mentality, and then look at the finale of PMMM... and in the light of that mindset, I can't help but feel deeply cynical about it. And honestly? I get why someone would want to tear it down.




Also his favourite Kamen Rider series is Ryuki, a show that is beloved for reasons that continue elude me, has a plot that makes no sense, and where every other rider is more interesting than it's main protagonist, who is an idiot 'hero' who lets a literal serial killer who was only brought into the conflict to accelerate it go free. Twice.

Gaim is a better Ryuki in every respect, but that Ryuki is a foundational piece of media for the guy IMO informs a lot of some of his issues when writing.




Now, going back to the actual story... gah, I was dreading this chapter and it stabbed in in the gut in a way I wasn't expecting. Yeah, Temperance and Av seem to be not fully realising the seriousness of this, and for all that both of them are well intentioned... they're also both kinda fuckups.

And yeah, the Seeds seem to be like... there's definitely influence there (we've already seen aspects of that, it's clear there's somehting going on there), but I think it might be better to say that it's more... removing the filter on the dumb, dark thoughts you have that you know are unreasonable. Taking those thoughts that you never acknowledge, removing the filter, and overclocking them.

So envy that Inessa gets to be a cute Magical Girl Heroine gets maximised and tied along with the Seeds animosity towards teh Saints, which leads to Chiro getting carried away in the moment, and thus Excessive Violence.

Lack of transformation for Inessa next time is interesting. I wonder if it's because she's trying to resolve herself to see Chiro as an enemy instead of showing her love - not like, romantic love, but trying to force herself to push past her instinct to show kindness to Invidia could potentially be an example of being too chaste, cutting yourself off from what you want to do because you think you have to do it. We know that Ida only got her transformation once she started being less diligent after all.
 
Honestly my commentary here is less about Zero being a deconstruction or "dig" at the original and more about Urobuchi's thesis that altruism is impossible and anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves. He gets points for making Kiritsugu, his mouthpiece for that thesis, also tragically wrong, but the whole work just really belabors the point that everyone is selfish and that the people who claim not to be are actually the worst somehow, which is a REALLY WEIRD thesis for a prequel to the Shirou Emiya "what is selflessness?" power hour.

At least we got Rin's arc to contradict this in the anime, even if that causes its own problems with her later characterization.
Yeah, that's valid. There's a lot to be levelled at Zero and Urobuchi's work as whole, which is really odd for me given how much I enjoyed PMMM and Zero. Like the fact a lot of the female characters don't have any agency or motivation outside of one of the male characters or their actions in Zero.
 
Yeah, that's valid. There's a lot to be levelled at Zero and Urobuchi's work as whole, which is really odd for me given how much I enjoyed PMMM and Zero. Like the fact a lot of the female characters don't have any agency or motivation outside of one of the male characters or their actions in Zero.
Honestly I'm gonna be real here I'm just still really fucking mad about Saber in Zero. Tragedy is one thing but kicking dirt all over her concept and arc from the original? In a prequel? Come on.
 
What Shirou is NOT is the post-TVTropes, pop culture definition of Deconstruction, which is "that thing you thought wad good? It's actually bad lmao owned."


I haven't been thinking about it like this before, but how much do you think that might be just boys (mostly, but not entirely I will acknowledge) finding out that war isn't cool and has like no redeeming features actually, and trying to project everything everyone else likes in backlash
 
I haven't been thinking about it like this before, but how much do you think that might be just boys (mostly, but not entirely I will acknowledge) finding out that war isn't cool and has like no redeeming features actually, and trying to project everything everyone else likes in backlash
I think it's just that cynicism and "edge" are dominant with the people who did popular media criticism for most of the last 20 years. That's definitely cycling back a bit, although the continuing decline in material conditions in the media-saturated developed world means it's probably not going to stop entirely any time soon.
 
Honestly I'm gonna be real here I'm just still really fucking mad about Saber in Zero. Tragedy is one thing but kicking dirt all over her concept and arc from the original? In a prequel? Come on.
Urobuchi did my girl so bad... (he also controverted a lot of details from Stay/Night about how the 4th war went but well that's Urobutcher for you). He also did a lot of characters bad just in general , like making Gilles De Rais an actual pedo, demon worshipper and child murderer instead of it being a frame-up by the church for his refusal to recant his support of Jeanne like is very likely the case IRL leaves a bad taste in my mouth, for example, let alone how some of the other servants and masters in the war were handled(Berserker Lancelot in particular could have been a better example of how Mad Enhancement can be other things than just 'Murderous Rampage' , and I'm not sure I like how Kiritsugu was handled either but that's more okay I suppose.
 
Last edited:
Urobuchi did my girl so bad... (he also controverted a lot of details from Stay/Night about how the 4th war went but well that's Urobutcher for you). He also did a lot of characters bad just in general , likemaking Gilles De Rais an actual pedo, demon worshipper and child murderer instead of it being a frame-up by the church for his refusal to recant his support of Jeanne like is very likely the case IRL leaves a bad taste in my mouth, for example, let alone how some of the other servants and masters in the war were handled(Berserker Lancelot in particular could have been a better example of how Mad Enhancement can be other things than just 'Murderous Rampage' , and I'm not sure I like how Kiritsugu was handled either but that's more okay I suppose.
I like Kiritsugu a lot in a vacuum and I think his character itself was fine strictly speaking. What gets me is how he (and Iskander) were kinda just used as bludgeons to humiliate Saber, who was never allowed to respond with anything but "my ideals though!"
 
Very hyped for the next chapter. Let's see whether Chiro goes back to school after the disaster or if she just hangs out around the city, or worst case scenario, shuts herself up in the castle with Superbia.
 
The issue with a notable portion of Urobuchi's work is that it's ultimately written by a guy who thinks that the way to achieve a happy ending is to be so selfless you destroy yourself for others, but that's okay because you ultimately help people.

Have you watched DokiDoki PreCure? It came out a little bit after PMMM and I'd argue it has a relatively more nuanced take on selfishness vs selflessness (granted, it also had over 40 episodes compared to PMMM's 12). Like it certainly wouldn't agree with 'All selflessness. No selfishness' as a conclusion.
Nor would Healin' Good PreCure for that matter, whose take on selflessness I can't quite go into without spoiling (it involves a certain demon boy), but it definitely would dispute PMMM. It was also the first PreCure show with a female showrunner, which may or may not have something to do with it.



As for Fate/Zero, I once compared it on Leila's Let'sWatch thread to if Tolkien wrote a Narnia fic where Aslan turns out to be the Devil. And I say that as someone who was mostly just bored by the Fate/Stay Night VN.

making Gilles De Rais an actual pedo, demon worshipper and child murderer instead of it being a frame-up by the church for his refusal to recant his support of Jeanne like is very likely the case IRL

While how guilty De Rais was is still debated, the common consensus among historians IIRC is that he really was that bad. There was an infamous retrial of him back in 1992 that found him 'not guilty' where nobody involved consulted any actual medievalists, for instance. Not like that stops Zero Caster from being a cartoon version of De Rais, and not just 'cause he's literally a cartoon.



Anyway, back to ALV. I'm starting to get worried that we've speculated so much on the Wrath Beast that it's gonna be a letdown when they do make their debut. Not due to any weakness in Shadell's writing, of course not, but because that's what tends to happen with mass speculation
 
Last edited:
Back
Top