AN:
Look who´s Back with another omake that insisted on being written pretty much immediately after the first one - this time we are following Titania, a pretty much forgotten one-off character that decides to return to Springfield in the wake of Abes reconstruction effort and who turns out to not be what she had to pretend to be before...
For anyone wondering about Titanias looks being a bit more..."expansive" than in the show, while writing this omake I decided to double-down on my concept of "super-voluptuous beauty who´s not nearly as ditzy and shallow as she appears" and exaggerated her her curves to *Jessica Rabbit levels*, with my headcanon being that she always looked like that in-universe and the show just toned her down to remain somewhat family-friendly - in essence, in my headcanon Titania got a body like Jessica Rabbit and because of that was seen as someone like Holli Would from "Cool World", while actually being far closer to Lonette from the same movie.
Of course that´s just my idea for her in that regard - if you want, you can visualize her as closer to "canon" as well.
Empathically Blonde
The woman known to the world as "Titania" was - simply put -
ravishingly beautiful.
Voluminous, silky golden hair that cascaded down her back like a waterfall, unblemished skin sporting a sun-kissed tan, eyes as dark and deep blue as the sea, full lips sporting pink lip gloss, a cute button nose, long, slender limbs that ended in immaculately manicured hands and feet, a bountiful and firm bosom that easily exceeded the memetic measurement of "each bigger than her head", a plump and cushy posterior that extended far outwards in all directions including behind, a toned, muscular waist that completed the hourglass figure with its pronounced waspishness, her just being incredibly tall in general…it being all-natural as well as most of the time being clothed in a subdued, yet still very sightly attire consisting of a deep pink, belly-free shirt, blue jeans as well as black, open high-heels proved that any claims of Titania fitting the widely-accepted standards for feminine beauty nigh-perfectly were no boast born of vanity, but simple, factual truth.
A truth the woman had been wrestling with for the better part of 20+ years, to be perfectly honest.
Born to unassuming, yet somewhat well-read parents, even as small girl "Titania" - then still living under her old name that she long since had abandoned by now - had already been fascinated by beautiful and pretty things, even though back then her understanding of such concepts had been more simplistic and innocent than it became later on. For that reason, when she had snuck a peek at her father reading one of "The Bard´s" work and the little girl spotted it including a fairy queen with a beautiful name, she immediately took that name - "Titania" - for herself during make-believe playtimes. Unfortunately, this act of childish wonder and self-discovery caused the first rifts to appear in her family's structure, for her mother obsessing over the very idea of
her daughter "letting
male-dominated society dictate how she conducted herself", while her father fully supported her "girly" interests because "at least she knows her place in life already", sparking many a heated argument between her parents that little Titania always would feel responsible for. Even so, for a while all was well in the girl's life, with her and her friends playing out marvelous fantasy stories about their "Royal Elven Court" at home.
This changed all too quickly, when puberty had started to hit their age bracket.
In what felt like no time in retrospect, Titania had blossomed from an already rather cute-looking girl into an extraordinarily voluptuous and enchanting teenager who could easily pass for a young adult quite a few years her senior. With that, soon after those girls she not long ago had spent ages dreaming up the most splendid dealings for "the Fairy Queen and her royal court" now shunned or even harassed Titania because they ended up less aesthetically blessed - in some cases admittedly more noticeably so than in others - than her, while the vast majority of boys continuously made passes at her, hoping to "bag the hottest piece of tail at the entire school district" as a badge of honor among their peers. After Titania's grades in school refused to noticeably drop like those of her schoolmates in response to all those raging hormones - if anything, her grades had started
climbing in classes pertaining to her hobbies and interests after her former friends casting her aside so callously had left her with quite a bit more free time to concentrate on schoolwork -, slanderous rumors arose that after school, she was "convincing" the male teachers to grade her better and so, Titania was branded a trollop and her beloved pseudonym as "Fairy Queen" turned into an insulting nickname with a simple change in pronunciation and emphasis.
Worst thing about all this was, that while by itself Titania would not have minded engaging in carnalities with any of her classmates of either sex at all - if anything, puberty had left her with quite the appetite for such proclivities -, the mere idea of leveraging her body against others or allowing herself to be reduced to a notch on someone else´s belt sickened her to her very core. But no matter how fervently the adolescent proclaimed her innocence, as soon as word of her supposed "promiscuousness" reached the ears of her parents, all Hell broke loose at home.
From that point onwards, Titania's home life had started devolving into a seemingly never-ending series of shouting matches between herself, her mother and her father - either Dad went on about how "
her daughter had become just another hussy mooching off off men´s successes" and blaming it on his wife´s "hypocritically misandrist and lazy Feminism" or Mom screeched about how "
his daughter had let herself get debased by the patriarchy like so many other beaten and weak-willed ninnies", with neither of the two even considering the prospect that maybe
their daughter might have be innocent and simply gotten set up by envious ne'er-do-wells.
Wracking her mind what made otherwise perfectly ordinary people so irrationally hateful, Titania eventually came to the decision to study psychology (with some more artistically-minded elective courses to also pander to her hobbies and interests) and at the first possible opportunity, she left behind her home for greener pastures.
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Years later, in the present day…
"Honestly, with all the bad blood between myself and my parents, it wasn't hard for me at all to shed my old name and have it legally changed - now I am `Titania´
all the time!" the bubbly, blonde beauty smiled after having given her hopefully prospective boss a quick rundown of her checkered past full of temping to get by before she added quickly "...or rather `Titania
Cahill ́for completeness ́ sake, after a studying buddy who went into medicine instead and who helped me out a lot during that time."
Glancing at the young woman sitting in front of her from top to bottom, Belle couldn't help but frown a bit at the dissonance she felt just now and so, she voiced those concerns.
"Well, your resume is rather impressive, especially for someone so young as you - bachelor's degree in psychology from the
University of California in LA, electives in bartending, dancing and other performative arts, fluent in German, proficient in Capoeira, several years work experience… this would definitely qualify you for the position as part-time maid-of-all-works, if not in fact leave you
overqualified for it. Luckily for you though, I am loath to turn my nose up at someone just because they are `too good for the job´. That being said, I am not sure if you are cut out for certain specific tasks of the position like minding the door, while you are sure to excel at the more performative side like supporting my dancers or `manning´ the bar - your behavior during that Beer-Tender Contest that Duff Beer broadcasted on TV a while ago does paint a certain…
capricious picture, you understand.."
"I
knew that whole mess would come back to haunt me one day", Titania groused before composing herself again. "I know how that must look, Miss Belle, but that airheaded, shallow bimbo
is not who I am at all. It's just that back then, I had just gotten my psychology degree and was starting to pay back my loans with stuff like that pretty well-paying bartending stint at
Juggernauts, when I got a phone call that my parents had died in a car crash…left me with a lot of debt on top of the funeral expenses and all. Sure, selling their stuff helped, but it just wasn't enough to cover everything and so, when Duff advertised that contest with a lot of prize money and a nice contract in tow, I just got desperate and saw it as my ticket out of a really tight spot. But those jerks at their legal department must have somehow gotten a special ruleset just for women past court that required them to act as slutty and ditzy as possible on normal TV to make sure they won. I
thought about backing out, but I really needed that money…in moments like that I wish I had gone into
law instead of
psychology to better fight crap like that…"
Breathing heavily, Titania prepared to divulge the most painful detail to remember.
"And then there was that
bastard `Duffman´…he must have picked up on my desperate situation and so made me a `deal´ - he´d help me rig the tasks in my favor and even allow me to not have to touch those drunks during the Tossing competition Duff Beer had scraped off the streets if I got into bed with him. Seriously, normally I'd have kicked his ass seven ways to Sunday for that `offer´, but I just couldn´t leave the contest with my money problems thanks to everything else and so I agreed."
"There's no other way to phrase it, Miss Belle - I sold my dignity that day and I still hate myself for it…and
of course Duffman betrayed me as well. Not just that he got me confused enough with the way he phrased the question that my brain just HAD to jump to answering `Goat´ after riling me up by mispronouncing my name
that way, but he rigged the Tossing contest to make all other tasks meaningless and then forced me to toss out the most disease-ridden, grimy bum he could find and that he knew would make me actually sick from touching. Seriously, that guy had all kinds of contractible skin and body issues going from his bio. All that stuff just made me blank out and throw in the towel."
Her eyes full of sympathy, Belle breathed out, "You poor dearie - I had no idea things had been that dire"
"It's okay, Miss Belle. At least you feel sorry for me - not like many others afterwards, who just piled on me. Lost a lot of really good jobs like as babysitter because people `didn´t want that hussy from the contest to corrupt their kids´ and stuff…but somehow I pulled through and made ends meet well enough, I think"
"And
I think I have heard enough, Miss Titania. To me, you are simply a young woman who got dealt a rather unfortunate hand in life, even though some shortsighted people may disagree. To be frank, when I founded
La Maison Derriere all those years ago, I did it with a simple wish - to give a place to those that wish to truly own their bodies free from society´s scorn and show those very same people, that sensuality is a normal part of human life that should be nurtured properly, not suppressed out of hypocritical narrow-mindedness. With that in mind, I have only one thing to say…"
With that, Belle rose from her chair, held out her hand and said with a warm, motherly smile:
"Welcome aboard, my dear."
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Some time later…
"Welcome to Madame Belle´s
La Maison Derriere - please enjoy your stay and
Happy Ho-Ho-Holidays!" Titania greeted the next set of customers coming in with a wide smile while she also bounced her humongous chest to better present the goods to anyone - a task helped a lot by her costume following a "sexy Christmas elf" theme that accentuated her very ample curves by showing copious amounts of cleavage, among other things.
The clacking of high-heels even over the festive din alerted her to Belle approaching her "greeting lectern" from out of the employee areas, making her turn her head just in time to see Belle in all her dignified glory.
"And how is our new dearie handling the holiday season?" The matronly Grande Dame chortled good-natured, clad in a splendidly simple, almost-ankle-length robe fashioned after Santa Clause´s attire.
Beaming brightly at a good day's work, Titania responded, "Very well, Madame Belle - our Christmas program is drawing in clients by the boatload already - weirdly enough though, many of them have been requesting Whiskey Sours for their drinks for some reason."
"I think I know who's at fault there, my dear." Belle chuckled with a roll of her eyes. "Before he took control of the Power Plant a while back, Mr. Simpson was a very considerate regular customer at our House who sure loved his Whiskey Sours. Given that he also loved to air his worries by talking with my girls when they weren't on stage, I know that he tends to ramble at times, so when Mr. Simpson spruced up the
Maison as part of his city-wide reconstruction effort, he must have run his mouth again and told everyone about this place…as I said,
a very considerate man once his senility subsides for a moment."
The Madame then continued with a fond smile, "I'd even daresay that Springfield as a whole could be far more endearing and wholesome as an enviroment if not for it being permeated by a veritable miasma of mediocrity, corruption and apathy - otherwise, the citizenry would never have calmly awaited certain-looking doom that one time, `Que sera, sera´ on all lips from the highest to the lowest...long story, my dear," she cut off her deeply confused "elf helper" with a nostalgic smile, "My point is that now, with Mr. Simpson somehow having managed to wrest control over the town from that blackguard Burns I for the first time in forever am daring to hope for better times to dawn for all of us."
"Wait a second, Miss Belle - I thought that
Quimby was mayor and Simpson only was the owner of the Power Plant that had forked over a lot of money to rebuild the town?"
"That's what things look like from the outside, my dear, but everyone with any stakes in the shadier sides of Springfield at all knows that Quimby is merely a sleazebag whose power as an `elected official´ all but
ends outside of City Hall aside from some legal technicalities. No, trust me when I say that any
true power in our fair city lies with whoever controls either the Power Plant as the biggest single employer in town or the most notable criminal outfits and should someone ever control both, their hold over Springfield would be all but
absolute. But nevermind all that, my dear - what matters right now is the fact you did very well in your current position, being the second-best porter I ever had the pleasure to employ right after…another long story for another time, I think."
"I'd love to hear them, Miss Belle."
With these kind words and a pat on the shoulders, Belle left Titania to her devices, knowing that the buxom blonde would fit right in at her "new home".
