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That Time I Became A Dictator Of A Small Asian Communist Nation

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HeroCooky said:
"Are you telling me that you can't replicate a machine made by a backwater country that struggled to understand agriculture a decade ago, or am I misunderstanding things here," the man from the Pentagon said darkly. His uniform and rank insignia clearly showed him to be a person of importance, while his voice was one used to being heeded and obeyed, with being told "no" as far from his mind as being told that the Second Coming was happening and Jesus was riding on a dinosaur against the forces of hell wearing Scottish kilts.

"No, you aren't, and yes," John Johnson, no relation to Jonathan Johnson, and he'd be obliged you not mention that name anymore, replied dryly, currently entirely out of fucks left, fields barren, and whiskey already drunk dry days ago. "Not," he continued, holding up a hand as the Pentagon Man began to bristle, "because we can't figure out the material science behind what they did, but because that thing," Johnson spoke, venom dripping through his words as he gestured to the splayed out form of a Steel Leopard assembled out of burned, trashed, shot, damaged, destroyed, and improperly handled parts lying on the ground, several coworkers of Johnson even now trying to pierce together what components went were. "That thing was made by the singular most idiotic yet genius minds on the planet. I mean-come. Come, look at this!"

And with that, John Johnson walked over to a few pieces at the end of the legs of the Mech that seemed like some mad claws dreamed up in a fever dream. "Here," John said, pointing at the feet, "you see that, the grippers there, splayed out in a hexagonal arrangement?"

"...yes," the Pentagon Man said after a moment of hesitation. "Are they there for stability reasons?" He ventured, his mind already seeing how they would grip into uneven terrain to stabilize the Mech's gait and brace them while firing.

"No, they are purely aesthetic battlefield additions," the voice of Johnson ripped the Pentagon Man out of his musings, forcing him to look at a now utterly irate engineer, angry confusion shimmering behind his eyes. "Now look at the armor, look at it! The way they connect the various panels onto the frame makes no sense; it is as if they just decided to tell logistics to go to hell because we found seven, seven, different armor panels with varying thicknesses, all apparently salvaged from the same frame! And don't get me started on the cockpit or the gyro!"

"What is-" the Pentagon Man started, stopping as a finger was pointed directly into his face.

"It's utter bullshit, is what it is!" The engineer quickly pointed out the set-aside cockpit, the internals notated and marked with dozens of numbers, with two more engineers looking at a damaged section with confusion and annoyance. "Markus, Smith, tell him about the cockpit!" He yelled, both men looking at him, and then the Pentagon Man before Smith pointed at a large, warped piece.

"See this part? This is where the torso of the pilot is encased while operating the Steel Leopard. Like all other sections, it is not only internally adjusted slightly to better fit the pilot but also cushioned wherever possible to reduce discomfort and the chance of injuries when performing difficult maneuvers and taking fire. We have gathered three torso sections, with the newest being these two, with several streamlined features and fewer problems than the first. Less material waste, better protection, more cushions in the right places, and less in others. However, both new ones have this... bubble right at the chest area for no discernible reason!"

"Yeah," Markus interjected, scowling down at the torso to his side. "We can't figure out why they added that space or what they put into it. Emergency oxygen? Survival supplies? Personal storage? None of them make sense, but they are too large to be accidental!"
Somewhere in China, two women recovering from combat injuries sneeze simultaneously, feeling vaguely insulted and complimented at once.
"And all of this just continues, with not even the electronics we managed to recover making sense!" Johnson took over the conversation, pointing to another section, verbally dragging the Pentagon Man with him as he vented all the frustrations and confusion he had suffered ever since he had been assigned to reverse engineering the Mech.

Choose the Point of View of the next update:
[] The Russian Submariner
[] A Shadow Talks
[] Riverbed Ground Zero
[] Midnight Almost Strikes
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Heh. The Americans have yet to crack our secret. They do not realize that our design philosophy stems from Rule of Cool. Hence why they cannot fathom as to how our tech should work, when realists clearly state it shouldnt.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're Warhammer Orks! :V
 
Oh, and before I forget it while going to bed;
A while ago, someone asked me what Guangchous stance on foreign Intellectual Property is.
This is a quick guide to how Guangchou operates in that regard;
 
abominable said:
Heh. The Americans have yet to crack our secret. They do not realize that our design philosophy stems from Rule of Cool. Hence why they cannot fathom as to how our tech should work, when realists clearly state it shouldnt.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're Warhammer Orks! :V
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The Most Glorious Democratic People's Republic of Guangchou, Light of All Nations, Defender of Humanity, and Paradise on Earth has achieved once speculated 'extra-physical architecture'. Our great nation can disregard the limits of 'bourgeois physics' and instead relies on the revolutionary faith of the people for structural integrity.
 
deadlyham said:
The Most Glorious Democratic People's Republic of Guangchou, Light of All Nations, Defender of Humanity, and Paradise on Earth has achieved once speculated 'extra-physical architecture'. Our great nation can disregard the limits of 'bourgeois physics' and instead relies on the revolutionary faith of the people for structural integrity.
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The "Laws of Physics" and "Common Sense" are lies crafted by the capitalist pigs to shackle the proletariat of the world! :V
 
@HeroCooky we need a quest discord channel in order to finalize the creation of our socialist schism, with one side being the Quest Forum Purity Faction and the Discord Channel Splinter Faction.
 
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