- Location
- In my Lair, on my Hoard
[X] Plan: Don't buy in, but don't be stupid
This is by far the best plan I've seen so far.
This is by far the best plan I've seen so far.
You know, that puts the bell test and the cat mission in a new light."Ah. Well, a shame. I hope my first few missions are more interesting than that."
Kuromaru's maw splits open into a doggy grin. "I highly-"
"Tst!" a voice hisses. "No! You don't get to spoil that Kuromaru! That's a secret for a reason!"
Kuromaru shakes his head. "I am perfectly able to say whatever it is I so choose! I-"
From a nearby building, the source of the new voice emerges and lets her hand hang dangerously close to a spray bottle hanging from her belt. "You're right!" she says brightly. "You can say whatever you want! But remember! Free speech has its consequences!"
Kuromaru's eye follows her hand and his mouth slams shut, nearly biting his own tongue. "I'll be quiet," he answers meekly.
Dem hormones had landed. RIP Dignity."Good!" The speaker replies before turning her attention to you. "Hey, Daisuke. Good to see you!"
There's only one thing you can say in response. "Um," you say eloquently, glancing down at the dirt where your foot is absently kicking up a cloud of dust behind you. "Um, uh, H-hi Hana."
Immediately you start cursing yourself in your head. Hi Hana?! The fuck was that?! And you fucking stuttered again when you said it! The hell is wrong with you?!
Sadly you know the answer to that: the exact same thing that was wrong with you the last time you came to the Inuzuka Compound. And the time before that. And the time before that. And every time you've come here for years. That thing: the older girl currently looking like she's suppressing the mother of all smiles in front of you, one Inuzuka Hana.
Then the reasons got less good. You had a free hour and felt like it. It was a little cold outside and you were just coming in to warm up. There was a scuff on the floor you could polish out. You saw a cool bird once and wanted to see it again. You thought someone had called you over but no, well, might as well stick around.
That was around the time you realized you had a problem. One that made you act like a total loser the hell is wrong with you-
Wait...we did a rock-off with squirrels?Memories race back to you, one after another. Quest after quest. Public performances, distractions, battles in your ever-raging war on squirrels, that one time you had to break it over someone's head as a challenge. So many things, all done with just your hands and your instrument.
...of course her idea of party prep is "prepare Mariko"As she inspects you, you inspect her. It doesn't take a genius to realize what she was doing. It looks like she's fresh out of a shower, and half of her hair is it's usual straight perfection. The other half is a mess of curls. In her hands, she holds what you recognize as a simple flat iron. You hadn't realized she straightened her hair.
Mariko's eyes meet yours and she brandishes the iron like you would your sword. "Tell anyone," she hisses, "and there will be no place you can run that's safe from me."
Giant Dork Exposed!When it gets to her turn, Mariko sighs. "I was going to bring…"
She mutters something too quietly for you to hear. "Excuse me?" you ask.
"Games!" she says, louder this time, almost shouting. "I was going to bring some games for us all to play. It's not a party without games, right?!"
You're not sure why she's so defensive about this. "Yes, that makes sense. Like Shogi, Go?" You had never taken her for someone who liked those games though. Mariko's never seemed the kind of person who would enjoy old man games like that. Maybe that's why she's so defensive?
But no. Mariko makes a dismissive noise at that. "Yeah, right. Do I look like a Nara? I mean like actual games! Super Sleuth, One Card, Domination, that kind of thing!"
...huh. Actual board and card games then. Those names all ring bells for you, but not bells from this life. Are those games based on stuff from your old reality? Super Sleuth… that sounds a lot like Clue. And One Card is probably Uno. Domination… is that Dominion? Does Mariko have motherfucking Dominion?! Why don't you have Dominion?!
Kiba seems almost as excited as you suddenly feel. "Do you have Journey of Life? I love Journey of Life!"
Mariko flushes. "Like, no! Like I would ever be caught with such a lame game like Journey of Life! There are no mechanics in that, it's all just like luck based! I've got real games here! Like Beasts of Battle! And Nightmare's War! And-"
She cuts herself off, but the damage is done. You now know the truth. Why Mariko is so defensive about her board games. It's not because she enjoys old man games like you thought at first. It's because she's a board game nerd.
So, Sasuke Shrine, Daisuke Shrine or The Yaoi Faction Shrine?"That would work," you say. "Do you want us to come in and grab them-"
"No!" Mariko yelps suddenly. "No, you can't come in! You'll… you'll get pig blood everywhere! Just wait there! I need to finish getting ready and then we'll get everything together and go!"
"Weak," Kiba snorts. "You gotta think of a better excuse if you want us to stay out. Come on, it can't be that messy. My place is much worse than-"
"Yes! It's messy! And pig blood would make it worse! Stay there!"
And the door slams shut.
You and Kiba trade looks.
Huh.
***
No matter how many times you ask, Mariko refuses to tell you the real reason she won't let you into her house. And of course, she won't let you into her house.
?!Team Nine did not pass their Jonin-Sensei test. And yes, it was Kairi's fault.
Sounds fun.Hatake Kakashi has failed many teams for his test and fully expected to fail another. But he never reckoned with the support minded Hyuuga Hinata being on his squad.
while I hate that it's true, this might actually work.[]What would the smartest person in your class do? Take a nap!
we need a canon omake of kairi failing the jounin test, but then 'convincing' the jounin to accept them anyways.
while I hate that it's true, this might actually work.
Sleeping brain works real different than awake brain.
Please vote for this:
[] This moment has haunted you the last seven years. Hidden from thought, its shadow clings to you. Is it any wonder how you move here, foolish as it may be? Attempt to disarm him and knock him unconscious.
Given kai attempts failed I very much doubt the point of this is to escape the genjutsu (else she would have made it something a genin could escape). Throwing the very personal nature of this challenge on top of that, and this strikes me as a "who you are in the dark" test. By putting us in our own personal 'worst situation' Kurenai gets a measure of who Daisuke is, as well as possibly giving him a chance to work through his trauma (or showing that he can't work past it).
Now, being the sort of person who always looks for a way to escape the trap (and maybe even succeeds) is a direction we could take this in, yes, but it seems that what we're really meant to do is meaningfully end the scenario instead. One of the better ways to do that is to do what kid-Dai couldn't do and actually beat Tokei without killing him.
She probably can't, no, but she can probably hear us (assuming our body isn't fully paralyzed).We don't know Kurenai can see what we're seeing. The genjutsu could just be targetting whatever we feel most ashamed/embarassed/traumatised by.
Heard!@Vesvius 120XP to Deciper. Because it needs some love, and I have a minor hobby in crypto.
Hah! Thanks, both for the compliment and the amusing- and now canon- omake! Take 60 XP into Perception, as requested.Oh, dude. I am waiting for Mariko to get a summoning contract with the little bastards. It will happen. And we will pay when it does.
On an unrelated subject, I present!
You cannot cheat on your friends. You just can't. That's not how friendship works. Even if you have friends in common- even if those friends usually come as a pair!- it does not count as infidelity if you hang out with one person instead of another. It's just acknowledging the facts.
That's what Manami told herself as she settled onto the park. It wasn't helping the guilt even slightly. Still, she needed help from someone who at least understood politeness. Anko and Tsume just... wouldn't understand.
Her guest seemed to have no such issues.
"So, what seems to be the trouble, Manami?"
"I wouldn't say trouble, as such. It's more..." she sighed. "Can I trust in your discretion?"
"Of course," he replied, looking offended that she even had to ask.
"Well... since Daisuke left the nest, I've been... well."
"At a loose end?"
"Exactly, yes. So I've been thinking about what I could do to fill the time. I thought I might get a job."
"Excellent idea."
"Thank you."
"But, if I might be direct, I don't see how I can be of much help. My areas of influence are a little... shall we say, specialised."
"No, I realise that. It's more... given your skillset, I thought you might make a good sounding board."
"Alright..."
"Do you know anyone who understands the complexity of courtly etiquette better than me?"
"Well no, of course not, but-"
"Don't be coy. You're popular around the village."
"With ninja, yes. Civilians tend to be a bit put-off."
"Besides the point entirely. What about social skills in general?"
"...Compared to you?"
"Yes."
"A few, but they're all social specialists themselves. Members of the diplomatic corps, or T&I Interrogators."
"...really?"
"Oh yes. Quite a few of them don't bother with torture. Just pick the right tea ceremony, create the right atmosphere, and people will tell you anything."
"When you put it like that it's obvious."
"It strikes me we're getting sidetracked."
"Yes. Yes, of course. My point is, I have an absolute wealth of knowledge on human interaction that might be very useful to the village."
"...I think I see where you're going with this. You want to teach the social trainees."
"Not immediately. I would imagine there would be a question of security clearance."
"Naturally. But that would be the end goal."
"Yes. What do you think?"
A pause.
"I think it would be difficult, but... I also can't think of anyone more qualified."
"Flatterer. But you know ninja better than I do. Do you think it's feasible?"
"Depends how you go about it. If you just march into the Hokage's tower demanding work, then you'll be lucky if they just laugh you out of the door."
"Well, obviously."
"How did you want to go about it?"
"I thought I'd start in the village; offering etiquette and elocution lessons to civilian girls."
"And then branch out to the civilian-born ninja."
"Exactly. And when I do make that transition, I'd offer a discount for telling their friends. From an outside perspective, it'll look like I'm looking for new clients-"
"-which you are, but it'll also serve to get your name out there in the wider shinobi community. Very clever. You realise they'll spot what you're doing, though."
"Oh, of course. Underneath the underneath and all that. But if I'm good enough, it won't matter. They'll know I'm manipulating them and I'll know they know I'm manipulating them but they'll do it anyway because I'm just so charming."
"...That you were not born a ninja is a tragedy, Manami."
"So you approve? There's no obvious problems I'm missing?"
"Nothing I can see."
"Good. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me."
"Think nothing of it. Now, I don't mean to be rude, but you mentioned a game of fetch?" asked Kuromaru, wagging his tail.
@Vesvius I find it vaguely amusing that I have to beat my muse with a stick to get anything for my own project, but I get halfway through one of your updates and inspiration hits me like an eighteen wheeler! All into Perception please.
The main reason drake's vote was approved and yours wasn't is that it A. doesn't attempt both pre-written options (his doesn't have attempting Kai again where yours does (the use Chakra part of your Write-In was interpreted that way, correct me if I'm wrong)), and B. it's mostly about Daisuke's thought processes. Yours is a list of things for Daisuke to do that basically boils down to try everything while the other one can be boiled dwon to 'don't freak out, don't die, and bite your tongue'. I don't see very many similarities honestly.Can't help but feel that is an unfair categorization but I was you know thinking this wouldn't all be done literally in the same moment. I assumed the vote was suposed to cover more than the span of a few seconds. So i listed a few things to do in order of what i felt was important as the vote seemed kinda open ended. This most certainly wasn't some attempt to have my cake and eat it so to speak.
Especially as you okayed a vote just now that does more or less the same thing.... now im just confused, where does my vote fall down but drakes doesnt?
We don't know Kurenai can see what we're seeing. The genjutsu could just be targetting whatever we feel most ashamed/embarassed/traumatised by.
She probably can't, no, but she can probably hear us (assuming our body isn't fully paralyzed).