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Never fear, two-women-whom-I-can't-really-identify! This is clearly a dream or an illusion or something equally non-canon, and I'll let you know how you can tell: Batman is smiling without having been hypnotized into thinking his parents aren't dead.

Those'd be Lana Lang and Lois Lane, who spent most of the Silver Age trying to marry Superman. This sequence also took place in an alternate Silver Age setting, and had Silver Age Superman marry the Linda Danvers incarnation of Supergirl. I can't remember if Maetrix was still a part of her at that point though.

Interestingly, I think that the daughter of that union, Arella, is still canon since she was some sort of singularity.
 
Heh, I remember an old comic where an alternate Superman was turned into a baby and they raised him to be the perfect husband for themselves.

Hahaha, what the fuck.

That's...not something you play off as a joke. That's child abuse, arguably of the worst variety. I'm not the only one seeing this, right? Raising a child to be your spouse is still rape, right?

Just...what the hell, DC.

Edit: I mean, I don't mean to be a Social Justice Warrior or anything (I'm really more of a Bard sort of guy. Maaaaybe a Barbarian), but I'm not really sure how else to interpret this.

Comedic sociopathy towards kids is crossing the line.
 
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Those'd be Lana Lang and Lois Lane, who spent most of the Silver Age trying to marry Superman. This sequence also took place in an alternate Silver Age setting, and had Silver Age Superman marry the Linda Danvers incarnation of Supergirl. I can't remember if Maetrix was still a part of her at that point though.

Interestingly, I think that the daughter of that union, Arella, is still canon since she was some sort of singularity.

Actually no, Ariella survived because her mother refused to leave her daughter in the pre crisis reality and the Spectre relented.

Not that it matters, since Crisis was retconned anyway, so Ariella would have survived either way now.

Hmm, she was friends with Klarion dum dum dum the witchboy, kind of a good thing for Grayven that wasn't the case. A little girl with pre-crisis kryptonian powers plus her own individual superpowers in addition to that, nasty combo.

Although the idea of her flicking him in the head and Grayven becoming a red sticky paste on the moon does have a certain dark comedy value to it.


Hahaha, what the fuck.

That's...not something you play off as a joke. That's child abuse, arguably of the worst variety. I'm not the only one seeing this, right? Raising a child to be your spouse is still rape, right?

Just...what the hell, DC.

DC used to hire sociopaths, from the looks of things. I mean Supes idea of a practical joke was to put Aquaman in a mask and have him pretend to be a new superhero who asks Lois to marry him.

Because being catfished so you can be dumped at the altar is a hilarious joke that friends play on each other, right?

Oh, and the best part of that story wasn't mentioned. It turns out that superbaby they both hypnotized was the superman from another world, so he goes back, ages back up, and then promptly marries Lois and Lana in a lovely ceremony, because polygamy is perfectly legal there.
 
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So the next sections comming up


hullevow which is a cornish word for nightmare.

And it is all going to start on march 3rd which means that yes we well officially enter spring in about two weeks!
 
Oh, and the best part of that story wasn't mentioned. It turns out that superbaby they both hypnotized was the superman from another world, so he goes back, ages back up, and then promptly marries Lois and Lana in a lovely ceremony, because polygamy is perfectly legal there.


You know what? I had this big spiel written out, expressing my opinion of the artists in question, their faults, and the individuals in their lives who failed to correct said faults or at the very least address them, and I'm not going to post it. I have not had a pleasant week, and it's probably getting to me right now. I shouldn't be posting.

I'm going to go hug my dogs. Deuces.
 
So the next sections comming up


hullevow which is a cornish word for nightmare.

And it is all going to start on march 3rd which means that yes we well officially enter spring in about two weeks!
Zoat doesn't wake up at 6 on the weekends, so it will probably be around 2 and a half hours from now. Maybe less though.
 
That's...not something you play off as a joke. That's child abuse, arguably of the worst variety. I'm not the only one seeing this, right? Raising a child to be your spouse is still rape, right?

Well, it's child abuse, not rape. I'm not sure you could successfully charge them, but there's a lot of abuse out there that nobody could successfully charge a parent with.

If they were planning on marrying or having sex with Clark before their polity's allowable age, that would be rape.

Furthermore, many polities have laws forbidding incest of various forms. Some forbid sexual relationships with people of a certain degree of consanguinity with you. Some include adoption. So they might have to move to, say, Rhode Island to execute their plot legally (albeit immorally).
 
So, assuming it's not a wedding dress, and considering how much of a troll Pavlen is...

It's a Captain Marvel costume:


Because it's relatively sensible, he's trying to build up an all new justice league, it's a little less 'Superman', and for the meta joke.
 
You know what? I had this big spiel written out, expressing my opinion of the artists in question, their faults, and the individuals in their lives who failed to correct said faults or at the very least address them, and I'm not going to post it. I have not had a pleasant week, and it's probably getting to me right now. I shouldn't be posting.

I'm going to go hug my dogs. Deuces.
I just usually pass it off by reminding myself that the 70's and 80's where weird, and that everybody was probably on far too many drugs to really consider what they were doing.
 
Stars, Crossed (part 44)
13th January 2004
10:04 GMT


I can feel the fear. Not the heavy handed sudden shock the Thanagarian marines felt as I slew them. This is a nebulous thing, creeping, cloying, running from mind to mind and soul to soul. The way the people around me look everywhere but at me. The way the guards hesitate. The nebulous sense that something has gone very wrong. No one dares flee. No one can force themselves to remain as they were. Around me some of the most powerful people in this country discover new ways to fidget.

I smile beatifically at the stage.

President Gonzo isn't afraid, though from the brief inhuman lack of animation I'm going to assume that he is at least puzzled as to how to continue with this farce. The two agents who have scurried forwards are less sanguine, but he's more or less brushing them off. Kara's finger nails are dug into her palms. She isn't afraid. She's angry. I'm sure that if she didn't have to worry about collateral damage she'd have charged me already. As it is, her training won't let her start anything. Rayner is more puzzled than anything else. He recognises my voice from our brief conversation but he doesn't recognise the symbol on my chest and may well have not spotted the ring on my right forefinger. William is looking at me with distaste, but I think that's more due to me crashing the party and being rude than anything else.

Gonzo comes back to life. "Okay. This is unexpected, but… Glad to have you with us, Grayven. And hey, I'm sure a lot of us have wanted to do that to Tom at one time or another."

Very nervous laughter from a couple of places. I look at him curiously. How's he going to play this? Father Time's still closish. He must know that there's no point in trying to run. It's no secret who struck down SHADE's aerials. Ring, quick check that it's really him?

The chronoton flux is still present, Corpsman.

Near the back of the seating area, security personnel start walking up to the guests and guiding them from their seats. Ah, much better. There's a plan now. They don't need to decide things. They can just act.

"Supergirl only came to Earth five years ago and only became an American citizen under her own name six months ago, but I for one wouldn't question her courage in the conduct of her duty or devotion to the people of this country. Green Lantern's been off Earth for a while now, but on his first day with that power ring he took down a super powered serial killer. And in addition to knocking Thanagarian fighters out of the air during that fight in Egypt he saved the lives of at least eight of our downed pilots with shields and with crash mat constructs. Captain Marvel took the time to free the people the Thanagarians were holding hostage before joining the fray, eighty men and women who were looking down the wrong end of Thanagarian energy weapons. God only knows what would have happened to them without his help."

Not a lot, probably. Thanagarians aren't big on hostage taking. If they don't kill you right away they're probably not going to.

"So Grayven… Why don't you tell us here and the American people at home a little about yourself. And your friends, the Justice Lords."

Ah. That makes sense. The back third of the audience has headed away and Kyle's ring is starting to sparkle.

"If you insist." I get to my feet, arms folded behind my back. "I am Prince Grayven of Apokolips. You may remember my father -Darkseid- from his invasion of Metropolis, where he beat the sssss…" I raise my eyebrows at the presenter. "Pre-watershed?" She freezes for a moment, then nods. "Stuffing out of Kal-El. Or the follow up, where he mind controlled him and sent him back here to kill his friends and family. I personally rule a small stellar empire and my intent is to add Earth to it."

"You may be new around here, but in America we don't take kindly to that kind of talk."

"Even better! What greater stage could there be for me to prove myself than here, against the heirs of those who killed Darkseid? The power of Earth's champions is known throughout the galaxy! I had considered simply bombarding you from orbit, but what does that prove? No, I wanted to give them one last chance to confront me." I look around, spreading my arms wide. "That was the cue?" I make a show of looking around, my eyes passing momentarily over the two still on the stage. "No one?" I blink slowly, shaking my head. "Truly, that is a great-."

Something slams into the right side of my face, sending me flying across the White House lawn. I create construct claws from the fingers of my right hand and dig them into the ground, creating great furrows as I arrest my momentum. Kara's floating just over the President's head wearing her true uniform, eyes glowing an angry red as she stares down at me.

I stand, dismiss the claws and rub my cheek. "Ah, a love tap! Have you reconsidered my proposal, Kara Zor-El?"

"It's In-Ze!"

I squint. "In ze what?"

"Aaaaaagh!"

Her eyes glow brilliantly for a second and I throw my left hand forwards, forming a shield and releasing enough dust from subspace that the burning beams from her eyes are visible for the cameras. Wouldn't want people to think I threw up shields for no good reason, would I?

"Is this a Kryptonian mating custom? I ask because I assumed that you'd gone native. I just brought a DVD of The Wedding Singer. I mean, am I supposed to eye beam you back? I'm genuinely lost here."

William scratches his head. "Um, are you two-?"

"No! We're not!" She starts sucking in a breath in order to freeze me.

"Kryptonian style it is then." Ring, green Kryptonite lasers from my eyes, please. Give it a few seconds' build up.

As you wish, though be clear that I do not approve of these theatrics, Corpsman.

Fine.

My vision goes green for a moment. Several more VIPs run past me, but I ignore them. She's wearing the uniform I made, after all. Took me a while to make one that didn't make me feel like a creep for demanding that she wear it. Had to dump the skirt and thigh boots, obviously. This one is an outgrowth of my work on clothing for Kon and Match. Even stuck small sunstones into the otherwise pointless belt.

Doesn't have a helmet though.

I transition backwards, lower my barrier and let loose with the Kryptonite. People often misunderstand how Kryptonite works. Both versions of Kryptonians I've met would laugh off a bullet made of the stuff. All that would happen is that it would shatter on their skin. At worst, they might get a mild burn where it struck. It's the radiation which the stuff gives off that's dangerous. And I'm putting out quite a lot.

The beam diffuses as it leaves my eyes, but by far the majority of it strikes her directly in the face. "Ah-AGH!" She staggers backwards and collapses while Rayner suddenly wakes up to the fact that an actual fight is happening, creating a barrier across the front of the stage as Marvel moves to shield Gonzo.

I smile condescendingly at Rayner. "I hear you had a run in with John Stewart recently. Somehow, I'm not worried by the prospect of fighting the man who somehow managed to lose to a Lantern who no longer owns a power ring." That said, construct armo-.

"Shazam!"

Drrreagh! Agh, bright! Marvel's grabbed me around the waist and is holding me up to soak his lightning! I remember his fight with Superman, where every strike caused him to change shape. My armour seems to be preventing enough of the bolt reaching him to trigger that effect. Alright then.

"Sha-!" I shove construct tendrils down his throat and spray Skunk scent into his mouth. He spasms, biting through the construct and collapsing onto the floor. I kick him in the chest hard enough to lift him into the air and then turn away as he crashes back to the ground, vomiting and wheezing.

"Rayner. Just thee and me, then. Hope you've brushed up on your Lantern to Lantern combat."

"I kicked the ass of the last guy to use that ring. I doubt you'll be much harder."

"Pride cometh. Impress me."
 
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"I am Prince Grayven of Apokolips. You may remember my father -Darkseid- from his invasion of Metropolis, where he beat the sssss…" I raise my eyebrows at the presenter. "Pre watershed?" She freezes for a moment, then nods. "Stuffing out of Kal-El. Or the follow up, where he mind controlled him and sent him back here to kill his friends and family. I personally rule a small stellar empire and my intent is to add Earth to it."

"You may be new around here, but in America we don't take kindly to that kind of talk."

"Even better! What greater stage could there be for me to prove myself than here, against the heirs of those who killed Darkseid? The power of Earth's champions is know throughout the galaxy! I had considered simply bombarding you from orbit, but what does that prove? No, I wanted to give them one last chance to confront me." I look around, spreading my arms wide. "That was the cue?" I make a show of looking around, my eyes passing momentarily over the two still on the stage. "No one?" I blink slowly, shaking my head. "Truly, that is a great-."

Something slams into the right side of my face, sending me flying across the White House lawn. I create construct claws from the fingers of my right hand and dig them into the ground, creating great furrows as I arrest my momentum. Kara's floating just over the President's head wearing her true uniform, eyes glowing an angry red as she stares down at me.

I stand, dismiss the claws and rub my cheek. "Ah, a love tap! Have you reconsidered my proposal, Kara Zor-El?"

"It's In-Ze!"

I squint. "In ze what?"

"Aaaaaagh!"
Truly we must bow before our great troll god.
 
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