- Location
- Somewhere left of nowhere near anywhere
Last time I checked there already is a chaos god of atheism. I think he's called Neoho or something like that.
The Lost Primarch Quest
- Thread starter Daemon Hunter
- Start date
- Location
- Somewhere left of nowhere near anywhere
Ya that's the name. I was close atleast lol
- Location
- Somewhere left of nowhere near anywhere
Well if he had to pick a chaos god, he might as well pick the one that hates itself as well as every other god and religion. And then does essentially nothing with it, besides cheering you on when you destroy his and other religious shrines. Cause to him, its striking another blow against religion.
Still this is fairly off topic, but it's just so fun to tell people about Necoho.
Yeah, but even the whole thing with Necoho was something I discussed earlier. Because, say chaos is defeated and all the (current) threats to humanity and the galaxy is over, what do you do for the future of your government and your goals? Because, make no mistake, while Big E would have been able to govern humanity along with his sons and brought back a semblance of the federation, what would then happen to them?
If that's the case, then I would like to know how? Because, if it's just a simple case of figuring things out later, then unless you've got a full-proof plan that can not only get around human fallibility but the very, very, very likely hood of something like the men of iron rebellion. What do you do? And, if you cant figure out what and have, as far as I have been able to find, a sort of nebulous long term goal of turning humanity into some sort of perfect society and the disappearance of him and his sons (and their possible murder...e.g the thunder warriors) than what would've happened to the imperium? As far as time as history has proven, nothing good can possibly come from such a plan without factoring something into the equation that can defeat the entire course of humanity as a species and its history.
Well part of it was the structure of the imperium. While there is a strong central government it is very much built upon the local government this allows for more responsiveness against new disruptions and threats than a fully centralized government of the imperium's size would have. However this then puts the onus for controlling those governments on the central authority, thus Malcador and his endless spy rings.
The whole thing seemed to be setting up for multiple transitions. First getting everyone linked up and on the same page regarding basic things like 'warp xenos memetic contamination', which non-warp xenos are and are not allowed to exist, getting psykers under control, and doing the fuck you're told by the transhuman super beings who specifically do know better than you. This then forms the base from which improvements and reforms can be rolled out, such as creating the high lords of terra so that 'ordinary humans' can have more say in their government. Various minimum standards could be generated, and so on and so forth, with the emporer and his son's moving towards more specialized roles over time as the amount of stuff they need to manage directly decreases.
Now I doubt this would have made everything perfect forever. I don't think it was meant to or needed to. But it would have been a solid foundation from which humanity could move forward.
My guess is that the plan was that the Primarchs and Emps would not be vanishing into the ether, but stick around in diminished roles, but ready to step in if things start going off the rails. Moving from executive/legislative to more of a judicial role.
The whole thing seemed to be setting up for multiple transitions. First getting everyone linked up and on the same page regarding basic things like 'warp xenos memetic contamination', which non-warp xenos are and are not allowed to exist, getting psykers under control, and doing the fuck you're told by the transhuman super beings who specifically do know better than you. This then forms the base from which improvements and reforms can be rolled out, such as creating the high lords of terra so that 'ordinary humans' can have more say in their government. Various minimum standards could be generated, and so on and so forth, with the emporer and his son's moving towards more specialized roles over time as the amount of stuff they need to manage directly decreases.
Now I doubt this would have made everything perfect forever. I don't think it was meant to or needed to. But it would have been a solid foundation from which humanity could move forward.
My guess is that the plan was that the Primarchs and Emps would not be vanishing into the ether, but stick around in diminished roles, but ready to step in if things start going off the rails. Moving from executive/legislative to more of a judicial role.
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Kinda puts things into perspective dosent it, we can get a whole culture together around various things that aren't and are good, before eventually moving onto more specialized roles which could eventually be used by more... "normal" people. Which just means, give it a few Millenia would have mentioned that the imperium probably then would've dissolved into more of a confederation more than anything. In all honesty, a lot of what the imperium as planned from the start with all of the ideas of what life would be like in sci-fi, are pretty retarded to be honest on a deeper level.
Say, if you would, that because of the warp existing, any gods made are inherently selfish and jealous. Now, why is that? Why it's how the warp creatures like the chaos gods work. They are simply larger and smarter leviathans in a ocean, always looking for more food to feed their belly. Well, what if some people disagreed and instead believed in a new God that wasn't that, like say a distorted version of Thor or Odin, or even Yahweh.
Would that God be selfish because it is, or because we believe it is and so thanks to the warp it is. If by nothing else, and we got a good look at how some planets and species worshipped their own Gods.
Like with the Eldar and the short story of that one particular feudal planet which had a peaceful and loving goddess, things seemed to a degree to be fine. But the moment things internally, like Asuryan banning the connection between gods and mortals, or the Nuckelavee coming and fucking things over and came from external problems well out of their control.
Which just raises the question of the emperor enforcing atheism out of either blind hatred for all things from the warp, people did actions on behalf of a God (which I should note, he never tried to massively stop or otherwise halt for centuries to possible millennia), which even if we took the excuse of Big E going into hiding and then proclaim their are no God's after 5,000 years of the worst time period in human history.
Pretty hypocritical to be much. Nevermind, if by imperial doctrine the rest of the imperial truth were for whatever reason come down under dispute would result in the exile or death of the disagreed, then in all likely hood. Their would've been another rebellion anyway, even if not Angron's particular Kickstart rebellion.
Honestly, it's like the wisest person in all of human history had suddenly decided that he had won a argument about stuff he disagreed with/never thought of, and is just going through with a half mad plan with no repercussion if the fallout of his actions at all.
Which is why stuff like in the last temple by David abnett, seem rather more of a case of what one never learns, one keeps repeating.
(Now, I know this is just a critic of Gw"s writing, rather then Daemons, and I do love and respect the guys work. But seriously, if people really love a product or story as much as they are willing to proclaim, then critism must at least, in part, be allowed to exist to help make the story more grounded and believable in order to help make it stand as a story better than where it was before. And in so doing, leave it to such a state that, pre-Mirror mirror, I thought fulcrum was stuck in that painting until the possible future as an example of a redemption primarch. Which is when mirror came out and throughly left a bad taste in my mouth and now shows a plot whole in Fulgrims clone in a Fabius bile book where he makes a clone of fulcrum. I'm finished with my peace, and I'm sorry if I seem particularly harsh, just wanted to let my critic of the grand finale to the emperors plan and some of its plot holes be out their.)
Say, if you would, that because of the warp existing, any gods made are inherently selfish and jealous. Now, why is that? Why it's how the warp creatures like the chaos gods work. They are simply larger and smarter leviathans in a ocean, always looking for more food to feed their belly. Well, what if some people disagreed and instead believed in a new God that wasn't that, like say a distorted version of Thor or Odin, or even Yahweh.
Would that God be selfish because it is, or because we believe it is and so thanks to the warp it is. If by nothing else, and we got a good look at how some planets and species worshipped their own Gods.
Like with the Eldar and the short story of that one particular feudal planet which had a peaceful and loving goddess, things seemed to a degree to be fine. But the moment things internally, like Asuryan banning the connection between gods and mortals, or the Nuckelavee coming and fucking things over and came from external problems well out of their control.
Which just raises the question of the emperor enforcing atheism out of either blind hatred for all things from the warp, people did actions on behalf of a God (which I should note, he never tried to massively stop or otherwise halt for centuries to possible millennia), which even if we took the excuse of Big E going into hiding and then proclaim their are no God's after 5,000 years of the worst time period in human history.
Pretty hypocritical to be much. Nevermind, if by imperial doctrine the rest of the imperial truth were for whatever reason come down under dispute would result in the exile or death of the disagreed, then in all likely hood. Their would've been another rebellion anyway, even if not Angron's particular Kickstart rebellion.
Honestly, it's like the wisest person in all of human history had suddenly decided that he had won a argument about stuff he disagreed with/never thought of, and is just going through with a half mad plan with no repercussion if the fallout of his actions at all.
Which is why stuff like in the last temple by David abnett, seem rather more of a case of what one never learns, one keeps repeating.
(Now, I know this is just a critic of Gw"s writing, rather then Daemons, and I do love and respect the guys work. But seriously, if people really love a product or story as much as they are willing to proclaim, then critism must at least, in part, be allowed to exist to help make the story more grounded and believable in order to help make it stand as a story better than where it was before. And in so doing, leave it to such a state that, pre-Mirror mirror, I thought fulcrum was stuck in that painting until the possible future as an example of a redemption primarch. Which is when mirror came out and throughly left a bad taste in my mouth and now shows a plot whole in Fulgrims clone in a Fabius bile book where he makes a clone of fulcrum. I'm finished with my peace, and I'm sorry if I seem particularly harsh, just wanted to let my critic of the grand finale to the emperors plan and some of its plot holes be out their.)
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I don't disagree, and even if I did I don't have a huge swathe of setting knowledge to work from.
On the specific subject of the chaos gods however there's a few points to consider for why they're complete shitstains.
Slaanesh is a god of excess, they can't not be a total try hard sweatgoblin all the time, every time. Chock that up to the Eldar being giant plasteel dicks about... Everything.
The other three suffer from a combination of timing and being more warp concepts than people. The three eldest chaos gods were mostly influenced by the war in heaven and the general shittyness that pervaded the galaxy because of that. In addition they're not ascended archetypes or individuals they're almost literally a bunch of concepts that congealed in the warp, characters without a story to call their own so they leech off of others and influence them in particular directions. For them the goal is to reinforce their own existance and importance, not to actually achieve or build anything.
On the specific subject of the chaos gods however there's a few points to consider for why they're complete shitstains.
Slaanesh is a god of excess, they can't not be a total try hard sweatgoblin all the time, every time. Chock that up to the Eldar being giant plasteel dicks about... Everything.
The other three suffer from a combination of timing and being more warp concepts than people. The three eldest chaos gods were mostly influenced by the war in heaven and the general shittyness that pervaded the galaxy because of that. In addition they're not ascended archetypes or individuals they're almost literally a bunch of concepts that congealed in the warp, characters without a story to call their own so they leech off of others and influence them in particular directions. For them the goal is to reinforce their own existance and importance, not to actually achieve or build anything.
Yeah, it's why in my mind their just very, very big smart animals. Like the hivemind of the tyranifs actually. They as they are, albeit built off of concepts and the like rather than actual worship, don't ever think or consider things beyond what stuff they know and like. Like a fire giant granted intelligence, not sapient. They know that this thing, emotions, concepts, and worship empowers them. And that, because of that they want to get stronger and act out on their negative emotions. But their was never a discovery of self, their was no discovery of I am, because I am. Instead, I am because my food tells me what I am. Which is why they never learn or change, and why in all honesty. No matter how big of a threat the lore portray's them out to be. They will never, ever look in ward and solve their own problems, hence why the need outside help. And why, ultimately, they were always doomed to lose, not even Tzeentch can change that.
Yeah, it's honestly rather refreshing to try and discuss something akin to philosophy and theology to something that clearly was never meant to be thought so deeply about. Wonder how Daemon is handling all of this talk, never mind his own opinion about the future of the imperium, the nature of the chaos gods as well as gods in general in 40k. And just, the emperor and the imperial truth. Honestly, I've never believed that should we go to the space between stars, we would give up on religion. That is the type of nonsense that 18th-century enlightenment "Philosophers" espoused when they argued that by going fully over to science and learning, we can master ourselves and solve all human problems. Only for that to come crumbling down when the head of such a discussion, in France. Led to the most bloody, destructive, pointless, and self-defeating revolution I've seen since the Russian revolution.
To be fair, it kind of is. No human nation, person, or ideology lasts the sands of time. And when you take away the moral structure of human society and return it instead with, "We determine our own faith, mindset, morality, and our lives because we have the right of human beings to choose." That sort of idea of thinking actively hurts one's entire society and self. Because if a man is ever allowed to choose what they deem moral, what they deem good. Things spiral rapidly out of control. Just look at the culture and society of china under the rule of communist china. The thing is, no man is ever good. And when you remove all things that control yourself, for better or for worse. And make yourself the jailor, then what may seem moral in some way before. Well, things change. People, including you and I, change with our beliefs and ideas over time. And if that's just in one generation, what about the next one, or the one after that. Pretty soon, the morals of one's society change to in most ways be the complete opposite of the rights and wrongs, not 3 generations back. One needs to look at America in 1920 and America today to see the difference. Once the key pillar to one's society is gone, like religion. And impose something inherently inferior in quality, and help get rid of the rest of one's culture that goes around one's religion, then it's no wonder modern 40k is so much of a shithole. The only thing they ever got to a replacement was a religion espoused by, LORGAR, of all people. And why, if the imperium were to not have any threats, I could guarantee, that within 200 years, the imperium on the lower levels would absolutely tear itself apart at the seams. Hence, why I brought up this fear in the first place. Because they were not in my eyes, ever a solution to such a problem by the emperor. Instead, it was looking for the utopia of tomorrow rather than the famine of today. And because of that, completely lost sight of how one gets to such a utopia in the first place.
Except that religions aren't special, they're as deeply flawed as any individual, generally more so due to the fact that they're either meant as control mechanisms, or emerged naturally via the hurly burly methods of crowd authorship.
A moral structure needs to be specifically a moral structure in order to persistent, and function as a moral structure, and open about the why's and wherefores, it also requires people to think about, engage with, and learn about it. In other words you can't replace dogma with dogma, and expect to get anything besides dogma, which is where the emporer fucked up.
A moral structure needs to be specifically a moral structure in order to persistent, and function as a moral structure, and open about the why's and wherefores, it also requires people to think about, engage with, and learn about it. In other words you can't replace dogma with dogma, and expect to get anything besides dogma, which is where the emporer fucked up.
True there, but back onto the point of how religion is special. Religion is not something you just switch out from one religion to another, the type of person that does such a thing isn't really a religious person, to begin with. A moral code, such as that of the Jedi and sith in star wars. The founders of both philosophies argue to never expunging one of the two, it just leads to a source of danger and conflict festering in one's heart waiting to happen.
A moral system needs something more than to center oneself on the life one leads. Because, when we die and are buried in the earth, what do our moral values tell us to deal with that? The killing of a monster is easy, the death of a friend and family member isn't. That's why I lost all belief in a moral system that all can apply by when my uncle died. He was a good man, but because of his own actions in life, it led him to falling apart and led to his death. The moral code I had back then meant nothing as I saw his grave. A moral structure that is persistent and functioning needs something else to function besides itself.
It's why in China, even when the concept of yin-yang was made, they never got rid of their religion or mythology. They added to it in order to help show lessons for themselves and their younger generations' stories so that they could grow up to avoid making the same mistakes. When the emperor came to conquer the galaxy, he gave it ab-so-lutely damn nothing. No moral code for oneself to live by, besides what they already had that he approved of. And maybe some ideas of either things like aliens and AI. But religion, faith, a moral compass in an ever-expanding galaxy? He gave it nothing, and in turn, demanded everything.
A moral system needs something more than to center oneself on the life one leads. Because, when we die and are buried in the earth, what do our moral values tell us to deal with that? The killing of a monster is easy, the death of a friend and family member isn't. That's why I lost all belief in a moral system that all can apply by when my uncle died. He was a good man, but because of his own actions in life, it led him to falling apart and led to his death. The moral code I had back then meant nothing as I saw his grave. A moral structure that is persistent and functioning needs something else to function besides itself.
It's why in China, even when the concept of yin-yang was made, they never got rid of their religion or mythology. They added to it in order to help show lessons for themselves and their younger generations' stories so that they could grow up to avoid making the same mistakes. When the emperor came to conquer the galaxy, he gave it ab-so-lutely damn nothing. No moral code for oneself to live by, besides what they already had that he approved of. And maybe some ideas of either things like aliens and AI. But religion, faith, a moral compass in an ever-expanding galaxy? He gave it nothing, and in turn, demanded everything.
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Part of the problem being that he expected humans to flourish with what he saw as the problematic influences stripped away, and not taking into account his own massive influence and pressure. He didn't give them a new direction, he told them the old ones were bad without explaining why. So the only thing they had to center on was the sheer power of the emperor himself. The rule became: Don't piss off the golden man. It was what they weren't supposed to do, not a list of what they should do or why. As such the primary concern became compliance rather than advancement, and as long as the big guy tolerated the Mechanicus's shenanigans compliance included not treading on their toes which made it very hard for humanity to advance without his or his sons' oversight.
If it were not for the fact that there are bigger monsters in the ocean, I would ask how has nobody tried to stop this lunatic. But then the rest of 40k comes knocking down and my anxiety about the real world and all the horrifying shit we all have to deal with, like the war in Ukraine kicks in.
I mean... you're not wrong, the Imperium has never been supported because anyone liked it, it was supported because it was the least bad option for the majority of people who weren't Orks, 'nids, or Slaaneshi cultists with authority issues.
Emps himself is generally portrayed as thinking of it as little more than a necessary evil.
Emps himself is generally portrayed as thinking of it as little more than a necessary evil.
Yeah, I'm not really a fan of his portrayal. If I would give an analysis, it still wouldn't encapsulate the rage I feel for GW. Especially, since another property of theirs had a human-turn-GOD. And he was a decent human being.
Anyway, I'll post a link to the video in question which summarized my view of GW's changing over the course of several years and the Horus of heresy.
(Note, the guy in question is a Norwegian. Keep that in mind if one finds one's humor, rather dark.)
Anyway, I'll post a link to the video in question which summarized my view of GW's changing over the course of several years and the Horus of heresy.
(Note, the guy in question is a Norwegian. Keep that in mind if one finds one's humor, rather dark.)
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Think Tank
Think Tank
No nation or species has ever won a war by playing it safe or keeping to "tried and true" strategies when faced against a superior foe. The Orks embraced this mentality. In their minds, there was no such thing as a "tepid" or "overwhelming" response against any opposition, weak or strong. Overkill didn't begin to describe their paradigm. Any enemy they fought long enough became worthy of escalation and perhaps even an exaggerated response. There was no such thing as too much firepower, only too little or not enough.
But given enough time and a few significant losses, even the Orks could recognize when their enemy was starting to become a handful. In such instances, the reaction was the same as before: more dakka and choppa. Yet when faced against the armies of the Blood God, Khorne, that wasn't good enough. So, they would make bigger or more dakka and stronger choppas with bigger boys to wield them. Surely strength and superior firepower would win out in the end.
It did not. And when that failed, the Orks escalated once again. The Orks made more tanks, killa kans, and wagons. And when that failed, they made Stomppas and battlefortresses. Yet the Khornates grew in size and strength, feeding off the carnage and destruction as much as the Orks did. It seemed only fitting to start making bigger and killey things like Gargants and Super-Tanks...and then finally great ships and even Attack Moons.
Overwhelming power should've won out the day. The Gods, Gork, and Mork, even strode into battle against Khorne himself. The Blood and Thunder War would be a victory for the Greenskins. For how else could any enemy hope to stand against the Orks, unified in desire and purpose and zeal. Orks are the strongest and meanest in the galaxy, after all. The battles that followed were mythical. It was a war of champions and titans, both the mechanical and biological sorts.
However...the Greenskins hadn't decidedly won their war just yet. True, the excitement and joy that came from the Blood and Thunder War were palpable across all lines of the united Ork klans and factions. But Orks were made for winning, and this wasn't winning. Fun was fun, but they had a duty built-in their genetics and very soul, screaming across the great WAAAGGGHHH!!! that called for decisive victory and action against all that stood against them.
So why then were they not victorious? More importantly, why was their enemy taking their stuff? This wasn't normal, even for the Orks. The Khornates did not horde guns or tanks or anything like that. Instead, they captured and took their beloved Attack Moons. Most Orks rarely learned the joy of private ownership, but this "insult" was felt across entire klans. Some even felt righteous anger, while a few quietly told others that "Huh, dis must be wot 'da 'umiez act like when we steal from im."
Those in charge, the Warlords and Overlords, slowly came to terms with the reality of their situation. Strength and numbers and firepower weren't enough unless they got more. So, the only "logical" conclusion was to develop new solutions. Orky solutions.
---
Today was the start of the 87th Gathering of the Da Kouncil of Brutal an' Kunnin' Ideas™, and it began like all the other meetings with a literal bang. The ceremonial shoota blast, straight from the only weapon in the room. It had been agreed upon, albeit with quite a bit of contention, that every Ork that attended the meeting had to leave behind their stuff before entering the meeting rooms. It was decided that Da Kouncil's speaker had to keep everyone in line somehow. So it served as both function and flair for their gatherings.
"Alright ya gits, time start dis meet'n wit' da roll kall!" Speaker Quicktrigga lived up to his name, as he enjoyed using the only gun in the room, "Now sound off!"
However, one of the Orks in the meeting spoke up, "Why do we need ta do a roll kall? it's a waste uv time." The few Orks sitting next to the complainer swiftly back away as Quicktrigga narrowed his eyes and leveled the pistol towards the Mek that interrupted him. A second shot rang out, and the Mek in question started to loudly yell while holding his bleeding shoulder.
"Ya shot me arm off, ya zogg'n bastard!" The Ork yelled while grabbing the discarded arm, "Damn it, gonna take me a day ta get dis back on."
Quicktrigga growled, "Shut ya trap! We gotta follow 'da rules 'cos we's iz civilized an' smart meks 'n 'da service uv orks everywhere! Now...let us begin! Morok Irongutz!"
The Mek in question looked up from his scrolls, "We just talked, Quicktrigga. Like two minutes ago! You know I'm here!" The representative from Gorro. Morok was the former Mek in charge of making Ironclads and other Cyborks until the planet got looted. Oddly enough, both experiences would be helpful in today's meeting.
"Uhem!" Quicktrigga slowly raised the ceremonial shoota. He was undoubtedly enjoying the small power trip that being Speaker of the Da Kouncil brought him.
Morok frowned at seeing the pistol rising up, "Grrr...here."
"'dat's more like it!" He looked down at a small sheet of paper containing names, "Big Grogga!"
The hulking Mek from Ullanor was quietly sitting in his chair, seemingly amused at how the meeting was going already, "Present and accounted for, Speaker." He was a quiet Ork, which was quite strange considering his skill in making Stompas, custom or otherwise.
Finally, no one trying to backtalk him. "Gakr Darkbomb!" The Unbound Empire sent supposedly one of their best and brightest for Da Kouncil. Gakr was more focused on infantry and explosive designs than anything.
Gakr looked up from the dataslate in his mechanical hands, "Right ere, Speaka."
"Zapskrig Bluddburna!"
Over at the far end of the meeting room, Zapskrig stood near his mobile charging station. Sent by one of the Ork Overlords, Zapskrig is the master of energy weapons and related subjects from their world, especially among his Klan. The bastard had enough batteries and generators in or attached that they would literally explode if they got killed. Most of the Orks stayed away from him, especially as he generated a lot of static electricity and heat.
Zapskrig gave a curious glance towards Quicktrigga, "Did ya get 'dat package I sent ya?"
Quicktrigga rolled his eyes, "'No." Zapskrig was sending packages out to everyone, but no one had ever gotten it, "Yer sure yer sent it out?"
"Uv kourse. Ya kould even say Iz positive about it." A bit of lightning arced across his face as he said that. Quicktrigga shook his head. There were a lot of crazies in this room, but Zapskrig was certainly top three of the craziest Mek's he'd ever encountered. Whatever he needed to keep at the roll-call.
"Right...well, anyway. Graxpit Redline!"
Another hulking Ork, but Graxpit was from the Blackfangs. Gaxpit was, oddly enough, a Mekboy with a passion for engines, fuel, and building. Oddly enough, making him one of the more "peaceful" boys in the room. A strange Mekboy, especially with the number of gadgets and gizmos covering his body. However, he was anything but peaceful. He was glaring at Big Grogga for one. The Blackfangs and Ullanor Klans had a bit of an ongoing feud.
"Yea, righ' ere." Graxpit rumbled out as he idly rapped his knuckled against the metal table. "We gett'n started soon?"
"Hold yer squigs; we's gett'n 'der." Quicktrigga had to start rattling off a few more names for about six more Mekboys in attendance, including that dumb git that tried to stop the roll call. Soon enough, he got to the end and listed off the last name.
"Steve Greenspan!" In the meeting, the Speaker called out for the only Pseudo-Human, "Yer 'n ere?!"
The Pseudo-Boy waved a small arm up, "Yo." Everyone else ignored Steve. Most of them couldn't get over the fact that he was in the meeting, mainly because it was so weird, even for them. He had Orky tendencies and whatnot, but he was still not integrated into the WAAAGGGHHH! nor did he really look the part. However, as far as his technical skills, Steve was one of the few that actually knew things like material and biological sciences. No one could deny his ideas for fungi armor plates were a pretty Orky invention.
In any case, that was everyone present and accounted for. Da Kouncil could now start the 87th Gathering. "Okay yer lot, today's topic iz gunna be da same wun from last week! Br'n 'n da plann'n board!" As ordered, a group of gretchin wheeled in a big chalkboard with a very rough outline.
Quicktrigga walked over and tapped the board with the ceremony shoota, "'Da bosses are gett'n pretty mad at los'n dese moons, especially 'cos we gotta build more an' 'da unbound are charg'n an arm an' a leg for 'da repairs."
Gakr looked annoyed by the accusation, "Oi, don't blame us for los'n da moons. We've provided an important service, dank yer very much! an' dat service ain't cheap!"
"Whatever! Now alls uv yous, get ta work!"
---
The universal concept for a Think Tank is simple, but its processes are complex. Ideally, most Think Tanks focus on producing research publications and policy work, although more often than not, they come up with short-term solutions. Ultimately, the goal would be to act as an advocate for government and leaders to help advance their research. If there is a problem, a group needs to develop a solution and advocate the answer to the centralized power. A simple idea on paper but easy to implement and used the galaxy over.
"I say we put bombs all ova da moons!" Gakr Darkbomb suggested for the nth time now, "Dat way when 'da Khorne Boyz try ta take 'da moon, we kan jus blow im all up!"
Morok loudly snarled, "Den how do we keep 'da moon for ourselves, genius?!" The Ironclad Mekboy was annoyed at the direction of the meeting once more, "I keep telling yer, 'da ironclads are 'da best hope! Make all 'dat dakka work better!"
"Wot if, an' jus hear me out, we don't do any uv dat stuff an' instead kreate a vast static array across da moon's surface. Dat way, each time we activate it, we kan jus use a localized ion storm ta kill everything!"
Big Grogga interrupted, "You'd burn out all the power generators in one go and flash-fry all our loud speakas, so no power and communication across the entire moon. A bad idea doesn't begin to cover this." He then pulled out what looked to be a large scroll, "What we need is Stompas and lots of them! Made with the same material as the daemons! This will enrage the Khornates into attacking prepared locations rather than critical systems!"
"Somehow yer make da most uninspired an stupidest ideas all at once, Grogga." Graxpit spat, "We runn'n outta ammo? Betta make stompas! We don't have enough aircraft? How about fly'n stompas! Need ta defend 'da moons? Daemonic stompas!" The Mekboy pulled out a large, clunky holo-projector, "Now ma ideas? Mork wish 'e kame up wit' im! We kan use projectors ta make a bunch uv illusions ta konfuse 'da Khorantes an lead im into specialized kombat zones an den use teleportaz ta start kaus'n a bunch uv stuff ta start fly'n around! Dis way we kan send 'n flyboyz an jumpboyz ta hit im while dey are 'n 'da air! Checkmate, as 'da 'umiez say!"
The other Mekboys looked at the complicated and exaggerated plan, "Wot are we, da pointy ears?! We'z iz orks! no gimmicks or tricks unless dey kause an 'plosion or something!" Quicktrigga announced while idly petting the ceremonial pistol. The other Mekboys didn't have much else to say, aside from crazy plans like lots of missiles or flying Squiggoths. All good ideas but not practical for this project.
Quicktrigga looked over at Steve, "Wot about ya, Steve?"
"Yea," Gakr spoke up, "Let's see if 'da 'umie 'as anyth'n ta add!"
Steve, who had been looking over a few of the others' plans, spoke up, "Well...I do think we could maybe see about coming up with a command station that could-"
Morok interjected, "Shut up, Steve! Yer's outta yer element!" He then smashed his fist on the table, "An 'da rest uv ya's! dis 'da best ya all got?! Bombs, stompas, static, an some illusions?! Mork bleed'n out all his kunn'n on us an 'e might as well give us his shit for all 'da gud we are do'n wit' dis inspiration!" Once again, an argument broke out...which soon required Quicktrigga to fire off a round from the pistol to get everyone's attention.
"All yer gits, be quiet! Bunch uv disgraces ta eva kall demselves mekboys! Argu'n like grots wit' a pet squig! Do we need ta keep hav'n more meetings jus ta kome up wit' an initial plan?!"
"Zog yer, Quicktrigga! We ain't ere any bright ideaz from yer!" Zapskrig exclaimed with the generators on his back starting to glower in power.
Quicktrigga wasn't about to take that challenge lying down, "Wot did yer jus zogg'n say ta me?! I'll have yer know I was top uv ma klan 'n kom'n up wit' ideaz (afta I kilt da othaz anyways) so yer best not take 'dat tone wit' me, yer git!"
Sadly this commotion effectively turned into another quarrel. One of the biggest obstacles that had yet to be overcome was how most meetings of the Kouncil tended to evolve into often violent disputes. While not precisely unwelcomed or unexpected, it was ultimately counter-productive to what they were all trying to accomplish. Sadly, it was simply a fact of Ork culture to resolve all such arguments with yelling, violence, and dismemberment. Each Mek was here to prove a point, especially if tied to a group like Ullanor, the Blackfangs, or the Unbound Empire. This, on top of their pride as Meks, was what made such issues so prevalent among the Kouncil.
And so, it appeared that the 87th Gathering of the Da Kouncil of Brutal an' Kunnin' Ideas™ would fall into the same problem as the last dozen gatherings; failure to reach a decision on what to do, let alone a general consensus on how to carry it out. Quicktrigga ultimately called for a short recess before having everyone return and try getting this resolved once more.
The worst thing then happened, rather than the fight restarting or perhaps any sort of violence, was awkward, uncomfortable silence in the gathering. For Orks, silence while in a group was considered lousy etiquette or the Kulture equivalent of such a thing. The only exception to this was unless you were the sneaky type, and even then, that was just a strange get-together of mutes and backstabbers. This was supposed to be an assemblage of thinking Orks. And so far, there wasn't much thinking happening right now.
Time seemed to move slowly, agonizingly slow. The Mekboys spent their time fiddling around with one thing or another. Gakr was toying with a new infantry armor design on one of his dataslates, while Zapskrig was slowly testing out his capacitors by zapping a few Snotlings that crossed his field of vision. On the other end of the table, Big Grogga was looking over a Stompa toy model that he brought with him (which was also being used to punch a few Snotlings) while Graxpit was slowly trying to piece together a tiny closed-circuit EM pulse device to disrupt the vox-signals to the toy Stompa. Morok was idly tapping the outside of a glass jar, which contained an Ork-sized brain.
All things considered, a rather pathetic display, but one caused by the Orks trying to pass the time. The reality was that it had been only thirty minutes since they got back together. However, someone finally broke the silence. Steve Greenspan stood up, "Can I have a moment to speak?"
Quicktrigga, cleaning the ceremonial pistol, looked up in surprise, "Wot?!" He then noticed that Greenspan spoke, "Uh, sure?"
"Thank you," Steven and his weird manners, "So, I was looking over some of the designs, and I thought that maybe we could like, incorporate a few things; like implementing the Ironclad design with this commander center idea and-"
Graxpit interrupted, "Wait a zogging second!" He stood up to tower over Steve, "Wot do ya mean?! Our stuff ain't 'actly kompatible wit' wun annuver!" That was true to a certain extent. Most Ork technologies were so uniquely built around a specific principle and aspect that it took a while for stuff to actually "work" with one another properly.
"Well, yeah, that is true." Steve conceded that point, "But technically speaking, there really isn't anything stopping us from building a new Attack Moon design and using everyone's ideas? We just have to make it so they all work together and even support one another."
Before Graxpit could interject, Morok spoke up, "Yeah, what did you have in mind?" He was glaring at Graxpit to shut up, "Because no one has any other idea so far."
Steve nodded before heading over to the board that held all the critical information for Project Keepaway. Pulling out a piece of chalk, he started drawing a rather rough outline of an Attack Moon. "So, my idea was to use a new and improved command center system, but we'd need to find a means to make it so that the Boss in charge can properly lead his boys, even if he has to do it from inside the Attack Moon. But then I thought, 'Hey, maybe we can use the Ironclads,' and I went from there."
Big Grogga looked a bit intrigued now, "That's not a terrible idea, but it runs into a huge problem of no Boss, no matter how insane or stupid, would let a bunch of brains control an Attack Moon by itself." A few of the other Meks agreed with that sentiment, "You'd need a dedicated Boss in charge to run everything."
"Well, why not, instead of a Boss, you get a pilot?" Steve suggested again, "You have a bunch of Ironclads that do all the important stuff while the pilot keeps the whole Attack Moon going in the right direction. That way, the Bosses topside can focus on fighting." The Meks did like the sound of that. Indeed, that would be an easier sell for the Warlords and Overlords.
Gakr observed, "But all im ironclads needs brainz, right? An' dey gotta kome from smart nogginz otherwise dey jus a bunch uv gits without a head! So where do yer get a bunch uv dose brainz?"
"Oh, that's easy!" Morok spoke up with a smile, "I've been collecting the brains of all those Mekboys that have died in the last couple dozen meetings! I've been sending them back to the Boss, so we got plenty of smart brainz!"
"So what?" Graxpit spoke again, "Yer get a bunch uv ironclads an' some poor grot 'dat wants ta pilot a moon, but did everyone forget we's ere ta find a way ta stop da Khornates from tak'n 'im!"
Zapskrig swiftly nodded, "Yeah, how ya gunna powa all dose ironclads anyway? I know dey take a lot uv powa ta keep dose brainz work'n."
Both Big Grogga and Morok were surprisingly deep in thought when Steve spoke up, "Well, can't you two come up with a functional design that allows us to maybe do something a little crazy?" The Pseudo-Human then looked over at Gakr, "Cause I did have something crazy in mind that involves explosives."
"You wot?" Gakr looked excited now, "Now yous talk'n ma language! Wot did ya have 'n mind?"
Steve grinned before turning his attention back to the chalkboard and starting to further refine the plan, "Let's build a bomb around the command center that acts as a Moon Cracker."
The Meks started laughing, "Now 'dat iz a right Orky plan!" Gakr practically cheered before Morok cut in, "But we shouldn't be trying to just blow up one of the Attack Moons as the first response."
Suddenly everyone felt a static build up in the room before Zapskrig exclaimed, "Eureka! I knows wot ta do ere!" He approached the board and started to attach more points to Steve's chalk outline, "We don't use regular bombs...we use Gravity Bombs!"
"Zog me!" Graxpit exclaimed now, "We kould put im 'n key points, an' when dey go off, we'll break apart 'da moon without send'n a bunch uv burn'n hulks everywhere! it's not as fun, dough..."
"It should also allow us to even control which sections of the Moon to jettison if we desire while keeping the Attack Moon command center safe. Additionally, if we line the center with my organic fungi walls and enough void shields, we should be able to mitigate a lot of the damage from the gravity bombs up to a certain distance."
"It'd turn a fight on the Moon's surface into a free-for-all." Big Grogga voiced, "Be a good time to build plenty of Stompas..."
"Or specially trained Boyz," Gakr retorted.
Graxpit gave an all-too-human look to Big Grogga, "How about instead we jus build enough tunnels an' entrances 'dat boyz kan jus move around da moon even if dese gravity bombs are go'n off?"
"Jus build teleportas!" Zapskrig suggested, "It'd help wit' gett'n ma packages around!"
Just as another argument was going to break out, Quicktrigga fired off a round from the pistol, "Let's stay focused!" He roared and then turned to Steve, "An' yer...kan dis actually work?"
Steven shrugged, "Just needs to work once, right?"
Quicktrigga glared a moment before he slowly laughed and grinned, "Now that's the spirit! It doesn't matta how many times it fails; it all jus needs ta work once! Just as Mork intended!" The Meks started to hoot and holler at finally making some progress in the strangest way possible. As far as they were concerned, this plan was the right amount of crazy and "logic" for the Mekboys. They just needed to get an actual plan jotted down, agreed upon, and sent back to their bosses for approval.
It was finally time to get to work...
---
Okay, a quick omake for the Orks. @Daemon Hunter
"He who sees every problem a nail will only ever find the hammer. Both in his hands and against him." - Old Human Saying.
"If it works jus wun time, it will work all 'da time." - Ork Mek Saying.
"I'm getting real tired of all these little toys the Greenskins seem to have in spades. Just when you think they're out of tricks, they pull something out of their collective asses like a bunch of Slaanshi whores with their own toys. Ugh." - Khornate Commander, Circa Blood and Thunder War.
---
"If it works jus wun time, it will work all 'da time." - Ork Mek Saying.
"I'm getting real tired of all these little toys the Greenskins seem to have in spades. Just when you think they're out of tricks, they pull something out of their collective asses like a bunch of Slaanshi whores with their own toys. Ugh." - Khornate Commander, Circa Blood and Thunder War.
---
No nation or species has ever won a war by playing it safe or keeping to "tried and true" strategies when faced against a superior foe. The Orks embraced this mentality. In their minds, there was no such thing as a "tepid" or "overwhelming" response against any opposition, weak or strong. Overkill didn't begin to describe their paradigm. Any enemy they fought long enough became worthy of escalation and perhaps even an exaggerated response. There was no such thing as too much firepower, only too little or not enough.
But given enough time and a few significant losses, even the Orks could recognize when their enemy was starting to become a handful. In such instances, the reaction was the same as before: more dakka and choppa. Yet when faced against the armies of the Blood God, Khorne, that wasn't good enough. So, they would make bigger or more dakka and stronger choppas with bigger boys to wield them. Surely strength and superior firepower would win out in the end.
It did not. And when that failed, the Orks escalated once again. The Orks made more tanks, killa kans, and wagons. And when that failed, they made Stomppas and battlefortresses. Yet the Khornates grew in size and strength, feeding off the carnage and destruction as much as the Orks did. It seemed only fitting to start making bigger and killey things like Gargants and Super-Tanks...and then finally great ships and even Attack Moons.
Overwhelming power should've won out the day. The Gods, Gork, and Mork, even strode into battle against Khorne himself. The Blood and Thunder War would be a victory for the Greenskins. For how else could any enemy hope to stand against the Orks, unified in desire and purpose and zeal. Orks are the strongest and meanest in the galaxy, after all. The battles that followed were mythical. It was a war of champions and titans, both the mechanical and biological sorts.
However...the Greenskins hadn't decidedly won their war just yet. True, the excitement and joy that came from the Blood and Thunder War were palpable across all lines of the united Ork klans and factions. But Orks were made for winning, and this wasn't winning. Fun was fun, but they had a duty built-in their genetics and very soul, screaming across the great WAAAGGGHHH!!! that called for decisive victory and action against all that stood against them.
So why then were they not victorious? More importantly, why was their enemy taking their stuff? This wasn't normal, even for the Orks. The Khornates did not horde guns or tanks or anything like that. Instead, they captured and took their beloved Attack Moons. Most Orks rarely learned the joy of private ownership, but this "insult" was felt across entire klans. Some even felt righteous anger, while a few quietly told others that "Huh, dis must be wot 'da 'umiez act like when we steal from im."
Those in charge, the Warlords and Overlords, slowly came to terms with the reality of their situation. Strength and numbers and firepower weren't enough unless they got more. So, the only "logical" conclusion was to develop new solutions. Orky solutions.
---
Today was the start of the 87th Gathering of the Da Kouncil of Brutal an' Kunnin' Ideas™, and it began like all the other meetings with a literal bang. The ceremonial shoota blast, straight from the only weapon in the room. It had been agreed upon, albeit with quite a bit of contention, that every Ork that attended the meeting had to leave behind their stuff before entering the meeting rooms. It was decided that Da Kouncil's speaker had to keep everyone in line somehow. So it served as both function and flair for their gatherings.
"Alright ya gits, time start dis meet'n wit' da roll kall!" Speaker Quicktrigga lived up to his name, as he enjoyed using the only gun in the room, "Now sound off!"
However, one of the Orks in the meeting spoke up, "Why do we need ta do a roll kall? it's a waste uv time." The few Orks sitting next to the complainer swiftly back away as Quicktrigga narrowed his eyes and leveled the pistol towards the Mek that interrupted him. A second shot rang out, and the Mek in question started to loudly yell while holding his bleeding shoulder.
"Ya shot me arm off, ya zogg'n bastard!" The Ork yelled while grabbing the discarded arm, "Damn it, gonna take me a day ta get dis back on."
Quicktrigga growled, "Shut ya trap! We gotta follow 'da rules 'cos we's iz civilized an' smart meks 'n 'da service uv orks everywhere! Now...let us begin! Morok Irongutz!"
The Mek in question looked up from his scrolls, "We just talked, Quicktrigga. Like two minutes ago! You know I'm here!" The representative from Gorro. Morok was the former Mek in charge of making Ironclads and other Cyborks until the planet got looted. Oddly enough, both experiences would be helpful in today's meeting.
"Uhem!" Quicktrigga slowly raised the ceremonial shoota. He was undoubtedly enjoying the small power trip that being Speaker of the Da Kouncil brought him.
Morok frowned at seeing the pistol rising up, "Grrr...here."
"'dat's more like it!" He looked down at a small sheet of paper containing names, "Big Grogga!"
The hulking Mek from Ullanor was quietly sitting in his chair, seemingly amused at how the meeting was going already, "Present and accounted for, Speaker." He was a quiet Ork, which was quite strange considering his skill in making Stompas, custom or otherwise.
Finally, no one trying to backtalk him. "Gakr Darkbomb!" The Unbound Empire sent supposedly one of their best and brightest for Da Kouncil. Gakr was more focused on infantry and explosive designs than anything.
Gakr looked up from the dataslate in his mechanical hands, "Right ere, Speaka."
"Zapskrig Bluddburna!"
Over at the far end of the meeting room, Zapskrig stood near his mobile charging station. Sent by one of the Ork Overlords, Zapskrig is the master of energy weapons and related subjects from their world, especially among his Klan. The bastard had enough batteries and generators in or attached that they would literally explode if they got killed. Most of the Orks stayed away from him, especially as he generated a lot of static electricity and heat.
Zapskrig gave a curious glance towards Quicktrigga, "Did ya get 'dat package I sent ya?"
Quicktrigga rolled his eyes, "'No." Zapskrig was sending packages out to everyone, but no one had ever gotten it, "Yer sure yer sent it out?"
"Uv kourse. Ya kould even say Iz positive about it." A bit of lightning arced across his face as he said that. Quicktrigga shook his head. There were a lot of crazies in this room, but Zapskrig was certainly top three of the craziest Mek's he'd ever encountered. Whatever he needed to keep at the roll-call.
"Right...well, anyway. Graxpit Redline!"
Another hulking Ork, but Graxpit was from the Blackfangs. Gaxpit was, oddly enough, a Mekboy with a passion for engines, fuel, and building. Oddly enough, making him one of the more "peaceful" boys in the room. A strange Mekboy, especially with the number of gadgets and gizmos covering his body. However, he was anything but peaceful. He was glaring at Big Grogga for one. The Blackfangs and Ullanor Klans had a bit of an ongoing feud.
"Yea, righ' ere." Graxpit rumbled out as he idly rapped his knuckled against the metal table. "We gett'n started soon?"
"Hold yer squigs; we's gett'n 'der." Quicktrigga had to start rattling off a few more names for about six more Mekboys in attendance, including that dumb git that tried to stop the roll call. Soon enough, he got to the end and listed off the last name.
"Steve Greenspan!" In the meeting, the Speaker called out for the only Pseudo-Human, "Yer 'n ere?!"
The Pseudo-Boy waved a small arm up, "Yo." Everyone else ignored Steve. Most of them couldn't get over the fact that he was in the meeting, mainly because it was so weird, even for them. He had Orky tendencies and whatnot, but he was still not integrated into the WAAAGGGHHH! nor did he really look the part. However, as far as his technical skills, Steve was one of the few that actually knew things like material and biological sciences. No one could deny his ideas for fungi armor plates were a pretty Orky invention.
In any case, that was everyone present and accounted for. Da Kouncil could now start the 87th Gathering. "Okay yer lot, today's topic iz gunna be da same wun from last week! Br'n 'n da plann'n board!" As ordered, a group of gretchin wheeled in a big chalkboard with a very rough outline.
PROJECT KEEPAWAY said:Goal: stop im khornate Boyz from tak'n our attack moons!
progress: slow
step 1: fight ta keep 'da moon (more dakka???)
step 2: stop khornate Boyz tak'n 'da moon
step 3: blow up 'da moon if we kan't stop I'm (Big boom?)
step 4: ???
step 5: profit!
Quicktrigga walked over and tapped the board with the ceremony shoota, "'Da bosses are gett'n pretty mad at los'n dese moons, especially 'cos we gotta build more an' 'da unbound are charg'n an arm an' a leg for 'da repairs."
Gakr looked annoyed by the accusation, "Oi, don't blame us for los'n da moons. We've provided an important service, dank yer very much! an' dat service ain't cheap!"
"Whatever! Now alls uv yous, get ta work!"
---
The universal concept for a Think Tank is simple, but its processes are complex. Ideally, most Think Tanks focus on producing research publications and policy work, although more often than not, they come up with short-term solutions. Ultimately, the goal would be to act as an advocate for government and leaders to help advance their research. If there is a problem, a group needs to develop a solution and advocate the answer to the centralized power. A simple idea on paper but easy to implement and used the galaxy over.
"I say we put bombs all ova da moons!" Gakr Darkbomb suggested for the nth time now, "Dat way when 'da Khorne Boyz try ta take 'da moon, we kan jus blow im all up!"
Morok loudly snarled, "Den how do we keep 'da moon for ourselves, genius?!" The Ironclad Mekboy was annoyed at the direction of the meeting once more, "I keep telling yer, 'da ironclads are 'da best hope! Make all 'dat dakka work better!"
"Wot if, an' jus hear me out, we don't do any uv dat stuff an' instead kreate a vast static array across da moon's surface. Dat way, each time we activate it, we kan jus use a localized ion storm ta kill everything!"
Big Grogga interrupted, "You'd burn out all the power generators in one go and flash-fry all our loud speakas, so no power and communication across the entire moon. A bad idea doesn't begin to cover this." He then pulled out what looked to be a large scroll, "What we need is Stompas and lots of them! Made with the same material as the daemons! This will enrage the Khornates into attacking prepared locations rather than critical systems!"
"Somehow yer make da most uninspired an stupidest ideas all at once, Grogga." Graxpit spat, "We runn'n outta ammo? Betta make stompas! We don't have enough aircraft? How about fly'n stompas! Need ta defend 'da moons? Daemonic stompas!" The Mekboy pulled out a large, clunky holo-projector, "Now ma ideas? Mork wish 'e kame up wit' im! We kan use projectors ta make a bunch uv illusions ta konfuse 'da Khorantes an lead im into specialized kombat zones an den use teleportaz ta start kaus'n a bunch uv stuff ta start fly'n around! Dis way we kan send 'n flyboyz an jumpboyz ta hit im while dey are 'n 'da air! Checkmate, as 'da 'umiez say!"
The other Mekboys looked at the complicated and exaggerated plan, "Wot are we, da pointy ears?! We'z iz orks! no gimmicks or tricks unless dey kause an 'plosion or something!" Quicktrigga announced while idly petting the ceremonial pistol. The other Mekboys didn't have much else to say, aside from crazy plans like lots of missiles or flying Squiggoths. All good ideas but not practical for this project.
Quicktrigga looked over at Steve, "Wot about ya, Steve?"
"Yea," Gakr spoke up, "Let's see if 'da 'umie 'as anyth'n ta add!"
Steve, who had been looking over a few of the others' plans, spoke up, "Well...I do think we could maybe see about coming up with a command station that could-"
Morok interjected, "Shut up, Steve! Yer's outta yer element!" He then smashed his fist on the table, "An 'da rest uv ya's! dis 'da best ya all got?! Bombs, stompas, static, an some illusions?! Mork bleed'n out all his kunn'n on us an 'e might as well give us his shit for all 'da gud we are do'n wit' dis inspiration!" Once again, an argument broke out...which soon required Quicktrigga to fire off a round from the pistol to get everyone's attention.
"All yer gits, be quiet! Bunch uv disgraces ta eva kall demselves mekboys! Argu'n like grots wit' a pet squig! Do we need ta keep hav'n more meetings jus ta kome up wit' an initial plan?!"
"Zog yer, Quicktrigga! We ain't ere any bright ideaz from yer!" Zapskrig exclaimed with the generators on his back starting to glower in power.
Quicktrigga wasn't about to take that challenge lying down, "Wot did yer jus zogg'n say ta me?! I'll have yer know I was top uv ma klan 'n kom'n up wit' ideaz (afta I kilt da othaz anyways) so yer best not take 'dat tone wit' me, yer git!"
Sadly this commotion effectively turned into another quarrel. One of the biggest obstacles that had yet to be overcome was how most meetings of the Kouncil tended to evolve into often violent disputes. While not precisely unwelcomed or unexpected, it was ultimately counter-productive to what they were all trying to accomplish. Sadly, it was simply a fact of Ork culture to resolve all such arguments with yelling, violence, and dismemberment. Each Mek was here to prove a point, especially if tied to a group like Ullanor, the Blackfangs, or the Unbound Empire. This, on top of their pride as Meks, was what made such issues so prevalent among the Kouncil.
And so, it appeared that the 87th Gathering of the Da Kouncil of Brutal an' Kunnin' Ideas™ would fall into the same problem as the last dozen gatherings; failure to reach a decision on what to do, let alone a general consensus on how to carry it out. Quicktrigga ultimately called for a short recess before having everyone return and try getting this resolved once more.
The worst thing then happened, rather than the fight restarting or perhaps any sort of violence, was awkward, uncomfortable silence in the gathering. For Orks, silence while in a group was considered lousy etiquette or the Kulture equivalent of such a thing. The only exception to this was unless you were the sneaky type, and even then, that was just a strange get-together of mutes and backstabbers. This was supposed to be an assemblage of thinking Orks. And so far, there wasn't much thinking happening right now.
Time seemed to move slowly, agonizingly slow. The Mekboys spent their time fiddling around with one thing or another. Gakr was toying with a new infantry armor design on one of his dataslates, while Zapskrig was slowly testing out his capacitors by zapping a few Snotlings that crossed his field of vision. On the other end of the table, Big Grogga was looking over a Stompa toy model that he brought with him (which was also being used to punch a few Snotlings) while Graxpit was slowly trying to piece together a tiny closed-circuit EM pulse device to disrupt the vox-signals to the toy Stompa. Morok was idly tapping the outside of a glass jar, which contained an Ork-sized brain.
All things considered, a rather pathetic display, but one caused by the Orks trying to pass the time. The reality was that it had been only thirty minutes since they got back together. However, someone finally broke the silence. Steve Greenspan stood up, "Can I have a moment to speak?"
Quicktrigga, cleaning the ceremonial pistol, looked up in surprise, "Wot?!" He then noticed that Greenspan spoke, "Uh, sure?"
"Thank you," Steven and his weird manners, "So, I was looking over some of the designs, and I thought that maybe we could like, incorporate a few things; like implementing the Ironclad design with this commander center idea and-"
Graxpit interrupted, "Wait a zogging second!" He stood up to tower over Steve, "Wot do ya mean?! Our stuff ain't 'actly kompatible wit' wun annuver!" That was true to a certain extent. Most Ork technologies were so uniquely built around a specific principle and aspect that it took a while for stuff to actually "work" with one another properly.
"Well, yeah, that is true." Steve conceded that point, "But technically speaking, there really isn't anything stopping us from building a new Attack Moon design and using everyone's ideas? We just have to make it so they all work together and even support one another."
Before Graxpit could interject, Morok spoke up, "Yeah, what did you have in mind?" He was glaring at Graxpit to shut up, "Because no one has any other idea so far."
Steve nodded before heading over to the board that held all the critical information for Project Keepaway. Pulling out a piece of chalk, he started drawing a rather rough outline of an Attack Moon. "So, my idea was to use a new and improved command center system, but we'd need to find a means to make it so that the Boss in charge can properly lead his boys, even if he has to do it from inside the Attack Moon. But then I thought, 'Hey, maybe we can use the Ironclads,' and I went from there."
Big Grogga looked a bit intrigued now, "That's not a terrible idea, but it runs into a huge problem of no Boss, no matter how insane or stupid, would let a bunch of brains control an Attack Moon by itself." A few of the other Meks agreed with that sentiment, "You'd need a dedicated Boss in charge to run everything."
"Well, why not, instead of a Boss, you get a pilot?" Steve suggested again, "You have a bunch of Ironclads that do all the important stuff while the pilot keeps the whole Attack Moon going in the right direction. That way, the Bosses topside can focus on fighting." The Meks did like the sound of that. Indeed, that would be an easier sell for the Warlords and Overlords.
Gakr observed, "But all im ironclads needs brainz, right? An' dey gotta kome from smart nogginz otherwise dey jus a bunch uv gits without a head! So where do yer get a bunch uv dose brainz?"
"Oh, that's easy!" Morok spoke up with a smile, "I've been collecting the brains of all those Mekboys that have died in the last couple dozen meetings! I've been sending them back to the Boss, so we got plenty of smart brainz!"
"So what?" Graxpit spoke again, "Yer get a bunch uv ironclads an' some poor grot 'dat wants ta pilot a moon, but did everyone forget we's ere ta find a way ta stop da Khornates from tak'n 'im!"
Zapskrig swiftly nodded, "Yeah, how ya gunna powa all dose ironclads anyway? I know dey take a lot uv powa ta keep dose brainz work'n."
Both Big Grogga and Morok were surprisingly deep in thought when Steve spoke up, "Well, can't you two come up with a functional design that allows us to maybe do something a little crazy?" The Pseudo-Human then looked over at Gakr, "Cause I did have something crazy in mind that involves explosives."
"You wot?" Gakr looked excited now, "Now yous talk'n ma language! Wot did ya have 'n mind?"
Steve grinned before turning his attention back to the chalkboard and starting to further refine the plan, "Let's build a bomb around the command center that acts as a Moon Cracker."
The Meks started laughing, "Now 'dat iz a right Orky plan!" Gakr practically cheered before Morok cut in, "But we shouldn't be trying to just blow up one of the Attack Moons as the first response."
Suddenly everyone felt a static build up in the room before Zapskrig exclaimed, "Eureka! I knows wot ta do ere!" He approached the board and started to attach more points to Steve's chalk outline, "We don't use regular bombs...we use Gravity Bombs!"
"Zog me!" Graxpit exclaimed now, "We kould put im 'n key points, an' when dey go off, we'll break apart 'da moon without send'n a bunch uv burn'n hulks everywhere! it's not as fun, dough..."
"It should also allow us to even control which sections of the Moon to jettison if we desire while keeping the Attack Moon command center safe. Additionally, if we line the center with my organic fungi walls and enough void shields, we should be able to mitigate a lot of the damage from the gravity bombs up to a certain distance."
"It'd turn a fight on the Moon's surface into a free-for-all." Big Grogga voiced, "Be a good time to build plenty of Stompas..."
"Or specially trained Boyz," Gakr retorted.
Graxpit gave an all-too-human look to Big Grogga, "How about instead we jus build enough tunnels an' entrances 'dat boyz kan jus move around da moon even if dese gravity bombs are go'n off?"
"Jus build teleportas!" Zapskrig suggested, "It'd help wit' gett'n ma packages around!"
Just as another argument was going to break out, Quicktrigga fired off a round from the pistol, "Let's stay focused!" He roared and then turned to Steve, "An' yer...kan dis actually work?"
Steven shrugged, "Just needs to work once, right?"
Quicktrigga glared a moment before he slowly laughed and grinned, "Now that's the spirit! It doesn't matta how many times it fails; it all jus needs ta work once! Just as Mork intended!" The Meks started to hoot and holler at finally making some progress in the strangest way possible. As far as they were concerned, this plan was the right amount of crazy and "logic" for the Mekboys. They just needed to get an actual plan jotted down, agreed upon, and sent back to their bosses for approval.
It was finally time to get to work...
PROJECT KEEPAWAY (UPDATED) said:goal: stop im khornate Boyz from tak'n our attack moons!
progress: getting 'dere
step 1: build ironclads for moon
step 2: find the toughest pilot for moon piloting
step 3: build command center, tunnels, teleportas, and whatever else (package delivery system required - Zapskrig
step 4: make gravity bombs! (no big boom, dough)
step 5: let them Khornate boys come...
step 6: profit!
---
Okay, a quick omake for the Orks. @Daemon Hunter
- Pronouns
- Psychic energy
This was hilarious. Question though: how did Steven get captured by the orks?
June 2nd, 2022 Omake Rewards
- Location
- Elsewhere
Alright, let's chip away at some of these omakes once more. First up we have a fun omake on RP-28, or Aquisgranum as it is now called. I do enjoy the look at how people are actually managing to make a living for themselves on it, and somewhat managing to carve out a little home within hell. It's inspiring, and a very warhammer thing to do. I particularly enjoy that little bit at the end referencing prenatal care, that was a nice touch. As for your reward:
[] +10 to a roll of the GM's choice
[] Slight boost to Aquisgranum development rate
[] Slight increase in how much the Imperial Army learns about daemonworld colonization
Next up we have a lovely omake on Konrad receiving a wonderful gift from Vulkan. I did love the letter Vulkan sent, it was a very him thing to do, and you could feel their bond in it. Moreover, it's just a nice gift from the Lord of Drakes, and one that'll see a fair bit of use in the future. As for your reward:
[] +10 to a roll of the GM's choice
[] +10 to Konrad's next roll
[] Slight reduction in the DC for Konrad to break +150 to duels
Next is a fun omake on Abdul talking to the Vigilance. I do like how you described the machine spirit in this, that perpetual slumber they're in is very much a stable of them, and it fit well. I do also enjoy the characterization of the machine spirit, it's a very loving connection which I find endearing. As for your reward:
[] +10 to a roll of the GM's choice
[] +10 to Abdul's next roll
[] Mystery box (not revealed if chosen)
Last up for the rewards is one on the situation in Tempestus, I do enjoy looking back at what the situation was literally 6 months ago, and seeing how it developed since then. It's a great bit of background on the situation that led to the high command of Segmentum Tempestus essentially being gutted and provides a lot of additional detail as to what occurred. It's a great omake, and I actually already rewarded it due to me going so slowly in regards to omake rewards: