Man, Freya would have eaten Bertil for breakfast.
Also, are we submitting archeotech? I missed the last one, so here's my submission.
~~~
Mechanicus Wishlist
~~~
Capitol Station, Helheim System, CE 22950
President Wilson chewed on his cigarette, the synthopium possibly the only thing standing between him and a stress-fueled berserk frenzy.
Every day there was something new. Federation quotas were being raised. Production was slowing down, obstructed by constant repairs. Replacement personnel were coming in untrained and unbriefed, barely able to handle a linac without pissing their augmentations. Sol Interstellar had lost interest in the system after the Navigator strain, and was shifting supplies to the budding orbital infrastructure of Vanaheim, who had finally finished dragging their asses out of colonial terrascaping into space-faring civilization a full three centuries after
Alfheim.
White-haired narcissistic cosplaying upstarts, the lot of them. You'd still be living on a ball of asphalt if it weren't for House Norn setting up shop in your beaches! Fucking Vanaheim!
And fucking Sol Interstellar! Who's the one designing your entire Marine arsenal, huh? Have some fucking gratitude, you spiced-up addicts! You want broadsides that shoot shells the size of Titan to make you feel big in your pants, you go to the Core and suck stubby dwarf cock. You want a weapon that fucking
works? You come to
me.
Oh, President Wilson, your prices are too high? We can't, in good conscience, expend such a large concentration of capital for untested designs? Guess who hasn't had a single fucking greenskin set foot six lightyears near his planet. Guess. And then guess why.
In space, no one heard you bitch out HQ.
The President sat back, loading up the latest sales package presentations circulated with the last courier dock. MIMIR had been mildly concerned about the latest defense evaluations planetside, which was as blatant a hint as the AI could get nowadays. Of course, pretty much every R&D catalogue this side of Earth was vastly inferior, too pricy, or clearly marketed to punk brats whose corp-baron daddies didn't love them, but sometimes their garbage ideas and execution fit only for the recycler inspired other, better ideas.
Sometimes. Rarely.
~~~
Strength.
Courage.
Power.
Luna Genetics proudly presents the latest in posthuman progress: VANGUARD. Fully synthesized in any Class Three gestation cube, the Vanguard is a top-of-the-line, military grade, and completely organic, artificial human.
Utilising the most sophisticated organic systems known to man, the Vanguard is impregnable. Its skin can withstand pressures of up to 25kPa with no adverse effects, and temperatures between twelve Kelvin and twelve hundred do nothing. With a reaction time of four microseconds and visual acuity capable of tracking a ballistic missile in orbit, there is nothing this unit will miss.
Pain? Injury? The Vanguard laughs. High-speed regenerative fibrosis allows the Vanguard to operate indefinitely with only a 10% loss in combat effectiveness in case of amputations.
Order a full cohort now, and Luna Genetics will outfit each unit with a FACTOTUM Operation Kit, manufactured in partnership with Gladiotorum Martis Ltd, and throw in ten complimentary orbital rifles.
Don't wait. The next step in human progress is just around the corner.
~~~
President Wilson trusted those moon-freaks as far as he could zero-g slamdunk their heads into the recycler. Any sensible human would have stopped once he'd genetically engineered his perfect waifu, but Lunatech had heard of restraint and giggled like a tentabot in a pleasure-cube.
But still. Niflheim could probably jack the Template with enough samples, and even tailor it for retrofitting. Wilson loved those little eskimo weirdoes with all the love in his black heart.
~~~
Are you tired of handling dangerous materials -- with your hands? Burned your synthskin one too many times on a spicy comet?
Well, no more! Morgan Anti-Gravitics has the perfect thing for you. Behold: the Portable Graviton Singularity Module! Known by the boys in blue as the Kinesis Module, this fourteen-centimetre attachment is compatible with any STC v340.9 and later power port, able to output impulse in excess of 5,000 newtons per second from an arbitrary floating reference point, with a full ten degrees of fine movement.
Hands? Hah! Who needs 'em?
~~~
Lousy goddamn Morganites. If Wilson had the data from four orbiting pulsars, he wouldn't be wasting his time with basic bitch wineglass holders.
But if Helheim had anything in abundance, it was hazardous materials.
~~~
YOOOOOOOO!
YOU WANT GUNS! WE GOT GUNS! YEAH!
WE GOT LASERS, WE GOT MASERS, WE GOT GASERS! WE GOT SLUGS, WE GOT SHELLS, WE GOT WARHEADS COMING OUT OF ORBIT!
GREENSKINS GOT YOU DOWN? BIG BOB'S GOT YOUR BACK! INERTIA SHELLS, GUARANTEED TO KEEP ON GOING NO MATTER HOW MUCH DAKKA IN YOUR WAY!
SOME NANOSWARM GETTING YOU DOWN? SAY NO MORE! SOLARBEAM WARSTATIONS, KEEPING YOUR SYSTEM SAFE!
IF YOU WANT BIG, GO TO BIG BOB'S!
~~~
Wilson scoffed. He found bigger bombshells in his latrine.
But the bulk order discount was… generous.
~~~
Many years later…
Terminator Strain Warrior
STC ID: "VANGUARD" Tactical Personnel Genome
Recovered from the data-ark of a derelict iron womb, preliminary simulations have returned promising results in all aspects. According to attached briefings, these Dark Age customized humans historically served as covert bodyguards, infiltrators into hostile polities, and strategic deterrents when outfitted with appropriate technologies.
Attached Templates include several compact personal cargo units, collapsible melee weapons designed with regard to the irreplicable material properties of Dark Age alloys, and the countervoid rifle.
~~~
Countervoid Rifle
STC ID: Medium Infantry Linear Accelerator Boost Attachment
An extended barrel armature, the countervoid rifle attaches to the muzzle of any human-portable Impaler model armament. Six metres at full extension, the acceleration coils suffice to convert any Impaler Pistol into a short-lived intercontinental autoweapon, with concomitant increases in recoil and energy consumption. Presumably for use by augmented troops or mechanical infantry, without stable anchoring a full-powered shot would render an unpowered marksman into a red-smeared crater.
A true example of genius in miniaturized macrocannon technology, the countervoid rifle alone is capable of firing unattached with only negligible velocity loss.
~~~
Hunter Rounds
STC ID: Linear Accelerator Targeting Assistance Attachment
Consisting of two components: a signal broadcast shell fitted to any Impaler magazine, and long-range micro-gravikinetic modulators. When onboard sensory units within a hunter round confirm impact, internal batteries and high-penetration vox resonators emit an IFF signal received by the modulator attachment. Subsequent rounds fired from the Impaler are then curved mid-flight to cluster the signal source according to pre-programmed models. Multiple Hunter modulators communicate to prevent in-flight collision, and can be slaved to a master signal frequency.
~~~
Plasma Hawkeye
STC ID: Plasma Emitter Targeting Assistance Attachment
The Plasma equivalent of the Hunter Round (and compatible with signaling from the same), this barrel attachment focuses the plasmatic bolus into a tighter emission profile. Not only does this increase the effective distance and thermal penetration of the projectile, but also renders it adjustable by six micro-lasers underslung. Controlled laser stimulation of the projectile's magnetic containment shell diverts the flight path of the plasma shot, allowing limited redirection within an arc of fire. Issues with cooling that arise from the attachment impeding ventilation are compensated by the use of cooler plasma, which achieves equivalent penetration and thermal shock to standard firing formulations, and preserves fuel for longer engagements.
~~~
Kinesis Module
STC ID: Hazardous Material Transport Module
A small forearm attachment to any powered frame, this module emits an anti-gravity suspension field that conforms to significant volumes of mass-energy, capable of lifting a crate, moving a vehicle, and launching a sharpened pylon, all from a distance of four feet away from the user. Projectiles interdicted by the unattached field lose all relative momentum.
~~~
Stasis Module
STC ID: Emergency Hazard Control Module
A small forearm attachment to any powered frame, this module launches a bolus of altered gravitons that entangles any significant volume of mass-energy within a field of reduced time.
~~~
Data-Sentinel
STC ID: Network Browser Security Program
A high-level offence cogitation routine, this program outstrips our current scrap-code cleansing rituals by an order of magnitude.
~~~
Power Spike
STC ID: Mining Pick Module
A bulky underarm attachment to powered exo-frames. Designed for piercing tenacious mineral deposits, this rod of adamantium is wired to a power-field for maximum fragmentation. With powerful inertia-dampers and burst-gravitic coils, the sharpened spike reaches speeds in excess of 400km/s.
~~~
Sunlance Voidfort
STC ID: Asteroid Refinery Laser
Placed into orbit, this colossal construction channels the power of the sun itself, focusing diffuse solar radiation into a searing beam that crosses the void, cutting through fleets and incinerating the debris of space. Is also capable of transmitting power to a receiving station.
~~~
Goliath Heavy Mass Cannon
STC ID: System Cargo Mass Driver
At 0.5km in length and with a bore of 75 metres, this installation is capable of accelerating a 40-kilotonne payload to relativistic speeds using high-volume gravitic impulse fields. Under full autoloading, a firing rate of 9 rounds per hour was often easily achieved.
According to historical documents, each cannon was paired to a receiving station that utilized anti-momentum suspensor technology to catch and redirect incoming cargo. Multiple arrangements were coordinated automatically by ancient cogitators, transporting supplies across the Helheim system.
~~~
Dragonwrath Voidsilo
STC ID: Solar System Defence Station
A monstrous citadel hung in close orbit to the sun, the lost technologies that power this burning palace are a thing to behold. Harvesting solar energy, magnetic fields, and the stellar mass itself, the Dragonwrath Voidsilo stimulates a controlled solar flare, forming the resultant mass ejection into relativistic missiles of semi-stable plasma.
~~~
Torsion Warhead
STC ID: Helheim Area Denial Torpedo
A device of byzantine gravitic manipulation, upon detonation, the fabric of the Materium is contorted violently, disrupting light and matter across a vast expanse. Laser communications are sabotaged, and vessels passing through are subject to systematic internal malfunction.
~~~
AN: Ah, Dark Age humanity. You were not even in the vicinity of fucking around.
With all the Dead Space, I'm surprised you didn't include the Plasma Cutter. That thing would be pretty tops to have, considering how effective it is at shearing right through limbs.
Or, you know, the Line Gun. Or Contact Beam.
We already have the Plasma Cutter STC.
Plasma Cutter (increase by a quarter advanced material production)
On Finding: One nearly totally complete (97%) STC fragment of an improved plasma cutter
On Completion: After a hard year's research and experimentation Magos Explorator Tranth managed to complete the partial STC template of the improved Plasma Cutter. He informed you that the plasma technology used in this cutter is more advanced then the ordinary plasma used by the Imperium and that there is still more to be learned from this STC. The first complete cutter built following the new template is around 20% more effective then the plasma cutters that Magos Explorator Tranth is familiar with.
A Line Gun is pretty much a fatter Plasma Cutter. It uses the Tesla Core in DS3, so I guess it's some sort of collimated, high-energy plasma sheath. And the Contact Beam is probably somewhere in our big pile of resource STCs. I mean, I assume every Helheim STC was designed to also be dual-wielded against a horde of unending wildlife, it's not like that's a new thing.
