Suffer Not ≡][≡ 40k Inquisition Quest

[open_sketch]

≡][≡ Inquisitor Joanyn Praxis ≡][≡
Imperial Inquisitor, Ordo Hereticus

Spoiler: Portrait

Spoiler: Attributes

Attributes
Physical Attributes
Strength - 1
Agility - 2
Melee - 1
Endurance: 4

Mental Attributes
Intelligence - 3
Tactics - 2
Nerve - 1
Fortitude: 6

Social Attributes
Charm - 4
Presence - 3
Contacts - 3
Resolve: 10

Faith Attributes
Belief - 2
Scripture - 0
Fire - 1
Conviction: 3

Spoiler: Values & Temptation

(3) - The Imperium should be an alliance of solidarity for the weak, not an alliance of strength for the strong.
(2) - People are more than problems, weaknesses, corruption vectors to eradicate. Their feelings and dreams matter.
(1) - A Shot Fired is a Shot Wasted

<1> - Victory makes me feel alive.

Spoiler: Stat Summary

Strength is raw physical conditioning. Lifting stuff, swimming, running a long time, punching hard. It's added to many melee attack damage as well.

Agility is swiftness, reaction speed, and immediate awareness. It's used for dodging things, jumping, ducking, outrunning folks, and other twitchy reactions.

Melee is the general skill of up close combat with knives, swords, fists (power or otherwise), chainsaws, whatever else.

Intelligence is raw intellectual power, knowledge, and drive to learn and study stuff. It is also used for military logistics.

Tactics is your knowledge of battle tactics, from the strategy of leading armies to simply knowing when it is safe to rush across a hallway in a gunfight.

Nerve is the stat both for shooting firearms and for keeping your cool. Nerve checks are common in combat to prevent from panicking or fight through pain.

Charm is the social stat used for flattery, smoothtalking, lying, seduction, verbal sparring, deflection, and navigating high culture.

Presence is the social stat used for reasoning, explaining, teaching, intimidating, impressing, or public address.

Contacts is rolled to know people you need to know, and to have a good reputation with them.

Belief is your actual faith in... whatever you have faith in. The Emperor, hopefully. It is used to resist temptation and corruption.

Scripture is your knowledge of the intellectual side of your religious faith. If you can quote from the holy books and theologians. It's intelligence for matters of faith.

Fire is your ability to project your faith out and convince others of it. Want to convert somebody or whip a crowd into a fanatical fury? This stat.

Spoiler: Skills

Weapon: Laspistol
Weapon: Hellpistol
Trade: Manager
Trade: Spy
Trade: Political Operator
Talent: Verbal Sparring
Talent: Seduction
Talent: Dishonesty
Talent: Intimidation
Talent: Exfiltration
Talent: Logistics
Talent: Propaganda
Talent: Indirect Persuasion
People: Dahlia
People: The Corrupted
People: High Imperial Politicians
Knowledge: Imperial Political Theory

Spoiler: Weapons & Armour

Social Loadout
1 Compact Laspistol, 1 Laspistol Reload, Flash-Safe Glasses, 6 Concealed monoknives, 1 Show Knife, 1 Belt Buckle Gun, 1 Plastex Bodyglove/Flakweave Suit, Displacer Field

Combat Options
+1 Hellpistol, +1 Transonic Machete

Compact Laspistol
Small Handgun
Attack Dice: 1/d10 -or- 2/d10-1
Aim Bonus: +1
Damage Bonus: +2
Armour Reduction: 0
Magazine Size: 4
Special
Laser: Does not cause bleeding.
Blinding: If operated without flash protection, witnessing the impact of a las-weapon will blind for 3 rounds.

Concealed Monoknife
Small Knife
Attack Dice : 1/d10
Damage Bonus : Agility + 1
Armour Penetration : 2
Parry Bonus : -1
Disarm Bonus : +0

Show Knife
Medium Knife
Attack Dice : 1/d10+1
Damage Bonus : Agility + 1
Armour Penetration : 0
Parry Bonus : +0
Disarm Bonus : +0

Buckle Gun
Tiny Handgun
Attack Dice: 2/d10-2
Aim Bonus: +0
Damage Bonus: -2
Armour Reduction: 0
Magazine Size: 1
Special
Hidden: Will always escape searches.

Plastex Bodyglove/Flakweave Suit
Clothing
Armour Value : 3
Coverage : All but Head and Eyes
Resistances : Impact, Blunt

Displacer Field
Energy Screen
When hit with an attack, roll 1d10.
1: Displaced into worse danger.
2: Displacer field fails. Take the hit.
3-6: Displaced hard. Take 1 Sore from bumping into something.
7-9: Displaced. Attack avoided.
10: Nothing personal, kid.

Hellpistol (Voss Pattern)
Medium Handgun/Carbine
Attack Dice: 1/d10 -or- 2/d10-1 (One-Handed)
Aim Bonus: +1
Damage Bonus: +3
Armour Reduction: 2
Magazine Size: 12
Special
Laser: Does not cause bleeding.
Blinding: If operated without flash protection, witnessing the impact of a las-weapon will blind for 3 rounds.
Convertible: When converted to Carbine mode, gain +1 to Attack and Aim Bonus.

Transonic Machete
Medium Knife
Attack Dice : 1/d10+2
Damage Bonus : Strength + 3
Armour Penetration : 1 + Half of enemy Armour (Round Down)
Parry Bonus : +0
Disarm Bonus : +3
Special
Sickening Vibrations: Enemies with 3 meters of an active blade count as being at -1 to all stats.

Spoiler: Companions

Sister Charitina
A member of the Order Famulous who found her faith again thanks to the Inquisitor. Praxis' closest confidant, dearest friend, and irritating ex-girlfriend.
Attributes of Note: Nerve 3, Contacts 4, Charm 3, Scripture 2, Fire 2
Skills of Note: Career - Order Famulous, Weapon - Bolt Carbine, People - Inquisitor Praxis
Equipment: Half-Plate Power Armour, Bolt Carbine, Burning Blade
Known Values: (3) The nobility is a blight on the Imperium, (2) I trust the Inquisitor's vision for the future, (1) Galaxy grim and dark, tiddy soft and warm.

Dahlia Hussian
A 17 year old unsanctioned psyker, rescued by Praxis from the witch's pyre she volunteered for at age 12. Loves the Emperor, and hates herself for being unworthy and twisted.
Attributes of Note: Power 1, Control 2, Sight 2, Faith 5, Strength -1, Nerve 0
Skills of Note: Talent - Self Discipline, Talent - Self-Hatred
Equipment: Web Derringer
Known Values: [3] I am here because I was given a chance. I should extend the same chance to others, [2] The Emperor is all things, [1] I can atone for my existence by aiding the Inquisitor

Marvel Ann Alemanga-Zero
A Magos of the biology wing of the Adeptus Mechanicus, Marvel Ann is an exuberant, odd, and enthusiastic cyborg lady who is an expert in medicine and bionics. She's Joanyn's current sweetheart, and she autotunes her voice.
Attributes of Note: Intelligence 4, Charm 3, Strength 4
Skills of Note: Career - Cyberdoc, Talent - Surgery, Talent - Singing
Known Values: [2] Adventure is to be seized with both hands (and as many mechandrites as possible)

Fraser Bookter
A positively ancient scribe who served Praxis' teacher, Bookter has seen all manner of things. Despite that, he keeps good humour.
Attributes of Note: Intelligence 4, Scripture 2, Contacts 2, Strength -2
Skills of Note: Career - Archivist, Knowledge - Imperial History
Known Values: ???

Korey Kilimnik
Once a Lightning fighter pilot for the Navy, until he was caught fucking an admiral's son. Kilimnik professionally doesn't care unless it has jet engines.
Attributes of Note: Nerve 5, Agility 3
Skills of Note: Career - Fighter Pilot, Talent - Piloting, Talent - Causing Trouble
Known Values: [2] By death or rejuvenation, age will never slow my reflexes

Penalties​

≡][≡​	Sore​	Strain​	Stress​	Stain​	≡][≡​
◹☠◸​	0/4​	0/6​	0/10​	0/3​	◹☠◸​
◹⛉◸​	3 XP​	XP3​	33 XP​	9 XP​	◹⛉◸​

CURRENT RP
6

RULES SUMMARY
ROLZ ROOM​

 

[Cute Princess]

[X] Begin making arrests quietly, and delay making further decisions until more information comes in.
[X] ... what can I do to hurry that along? (A Hard Contacts roll)

 

[Abby Normal]

[X] ... what can I do to hurry that along? (A Hard Contacts roll)
[X] Have them transferred to locations where they cannot do any harm, in a staggered fashion. They will be available, but isolated.

Roll that Contacts roll (total difficulty 4+), and somebody just throw a d10 flat for me please?

Click to shrink...

Since i didn't see anyone else do this, here's the rolls:



Hopefully a 5 on teh flat d10 is good?

 

[Jeboboid]

I think that's 2 successes? So a solid win at least for the contacts roll?

 

[open_sketch]

"I think there are a great many soldiers of our armies who do not have a century or two to wait." you observed dryly.

"... quite. And if the substance is the same, I doubt there will be much in the way of risks, but human history is a tale of hubris. Even the sweetest flower can bear a potent poison, and if you stop to breathe it in, it may already be too late." she said. That was... you did not often imagine the Mechanicus as poets.

"That's something I can agree with, in principle at least. Tell me, if you had, say, the resources of an Inquisitor on hand, would you say you could expedite the process?"

---

998 M41 rolled into 999 M41 at midday, to your perspective. There was a local clock in the typical 24 segment fashion, their hours 43.3 standard minutes, the days short enough to be disorienting, even if you spent most of them in artificially lit halls. The PDF was carrying out the transfers of suspected traitors to various staff positions, household guards, and other inconsequential positions under surveillance: the Separatists would likely realize they'd been caught, but it would take them a while to catch on. This left you free to start making some inquiries.

You and the Magos, who had the delightful name of Marvel Ann Alemagna-Zero, spent the next three weeks sorting out every possible angle to see the large scale production of properly-grown brimselda. She was eager to see things move quickly, and to your surprise was enthusiastic about the idea of lying to her superiors in order to make things go faster. At the time, you figured she merely wanted to accelerate the process so she'd get more credit for the eventual 'discovery', but she was soon on board with your plan. Time to fall back to an old favourite: falsified records. While studying the plant from top to bottom would take centuries, merely replicating key experiments from the past would not be, and this was apparently routine in the Mechanicus. You just had to make up some past experiments.

The first step was to send an astropathic message to a contact of yours in the Odos Xenos, requesting access to records. Inquisitor Vonreuter Cotant was a Recongregator like yourself, though of a rather different mindset, believing that the great ill of the Imperium was that its structures, which tended to create generational authority, had a dysgenic effect on the ruling class. The best and brightest of the nobility feel a higher calling, take risks, put themselves in danger, and thus die. The most craven shy from danger and manipulate others, and often find a twisted success. He contrasted this with the wide variety of alien species who used alternate methods to select their rulers, either from the commoners or through the manipulation of lineages.

You didn't disagree, but you found his reduction of human behavior and character to genes... distasteful. On top of that, honestly, the man was a bit of a creep, and like most of that type was quite convinced he was atop the genetic pyramid. But he was also the closest thing you had to an ally in that quarter of the Inquisition, so you had the message sent all the same. It took the form of a beautiful illuminated manuscript produced laboriously by the astropath in question, made all the more impressive by the man's blindness, and then the whole thing was set into a pyr, all the work seared out of physical existence and out into the universe.

That evening, as she studied, Dahlia found herself absent-mindedly writing portions of the message on her arm with her pen, without really knowing why.

There were hundreds of Inquisitorial Libraries across the Imperium, compendiums of knowledge, and many Inquisitors tried to make a pilgrimage to one at least once a decade or so to dump their records, or a least a version of their records that left out all their worst excesses. You were rather overdue yourself. This information was then compressed and sorted, available for other Inquisitors to take, but all the juicy stuff would inevitably be encrypted behind special passwords, known only to the Inquisitor, and sometimes the curators of the library, to be used only in the event of their death. These libraries were likely the single most dangerous reserves of knowledge outside of Mars, Terra, and the mythical Black Library, and a great many, you suspected a majority of Inquisitors didn't trust them and never used them. It was possible many weren't even aware they existed.

You, of course, had a copy in your shuttle. So when the astropath, two weeks later, scrawled out long string of random words on a piece of paper without even being aware he was doing it, you took the results and fed it into the machine, then started searching through your data-slate.

There were four thousand years of data on the Eldar in here. It was barely indexed. There was no way to sort through it.

This is why you hated computers, why you'd always trust a physical library. Information on a computer was impossible to parse, while a real library was not only sorted, but staffed by intelligent human beings whose job it was to find things for you.

You handed the information off to Bookter and told him to find you anything he could on artifacts or plants stolen from the Eldar, then you reluctantly picked up the alien comm devise and called your ex again.

It was a supremely unpleasant conversation, but by the end you had everything you could ever possibly want to know about the plant, plus a reiteration of the worst thing Araleth had ever told you: Humans and Eldar don't just look similar. Even beneath the surface they share more traits than they ought to. Their analog to DNA didn't even have the same structure or number of chromosomes, yet almost every medicine that healed an Eldar healed a human, almost everything poisonous to a human would kill an Eldar too. Araleth's wounds would scab over into crystalline structures and yet they related very similar emotions with very similar facial expressions, they could produce no vocalization you couldn't mimic with effort, they were more human than some of the humans you'd been close to.

Because humans and eldar were made, they said. Created, by a creator. They simply called them the Old Ones, and said only one other thing was known about them.

"They also made the orks. Puzzle on that." they'd said.

Upshot was, it wasn't just a burn cure. They told you a dizzying variety of other functions for the plant, from antibiotic to anti-viral to antidotes for poison. Every part of the plant could be used for some kind of medical purposes, it was made to. It was a hospital with roots, and all of it ought to work for humans as well as it did for the Eldar.

"Why exactly are you telling me all this?" you asked suspiciously. The Eldar did not give gifts to those they thought of as lesser.

"I have my reasons." they said cryptically, of course, but then they kept talking, "Our craftworld is nestled deep in your Empire, and has been for four thousand years. Do you know why?"

You didn't, and you admitted as such.

"Because as much as you hate us, and you do hate us, and as much as we're disgusted by you, and we are disgusted, our craftworld has never been directly attacked. Not once. Not by you, as much as many of you want to, and not by anything else, because they'd have to get through you to get to us." they said.

"You're using us as a meat shield." you surmised.

"... meat-shield, such a crude turn of phrase, but yes. A wall of man-meat between a hostile universe and one of the last bastions of our species. It'd be nice if you could stitch that meat back together a little more effectively. Might keep us alive a few more centuries."

Araleth had once told you that the Imperium had only ever tried attacking a Craftworld directly once, and they'd given up after taking heavy losses. You'd said you didn't believe it, that giving up wasn't in the Imperial vocabulary, they'd explained it had happened nearly nine thousand years ago, when the Imperial vocabulary was rather different. They also said there was a treaty, though that you couldn't bring yourself to believe.

"So... why didn't you just tell us? Why go through me?" you asked.

"Well, I mean, we weren't going to just up and do it, and you lot wouldn't listen if we did. The Imperium has its pride, as do the Eldar... Though from one outcast to another, it's going to be going to be the death of us both."

That you could agree with.

"This was just random chance, not that you'll believe it," they explained, "but it is a chance I have been given reason to capitalize on. Besides, you're now deeply indebted to me, which I find hilarious."

"Keep laughing, xenos." you retorted.

"Always a pleasure, mon-keigh. Talk to you soon!"

You deactivated the comm, looked at you page of notes, and found yourself grinding your teeth. There was something going on there, Araleth had no reason to be that helpful, unless somebody told them to. And if the witches that gave that infuriating alien their marching orders were suddenly entirely cool with humans knowing the secrets of Eldar technosorcery... then they saw something on the horizon.

If Dahlia had taught you anything, its that when a witch issues a warning, you listen.

---

"So how'd you learn all this?" Marvel Ann asked, looking over the notes in awe.

"Inquisitorial archive. Record of four-thousand year old experiments. Sealed away by a Puritan inquisitor." you lied smoothly. Nobody could actually check, and Bookter had provided you with an incident of something similar happening, to which you'd simply amended the plant study alongside research into artifacts recovered from an Eldar world. "They'd been approaching production approval before records were purged. I'm just reversing that order. All you have to do is replicate these results. Besides, I'm certain the Mechanicus would be happy to have their records back, or at least what's left of them."

"So that's the truth, then?" she asked, clearly skeptical, but in a way that let you know she wasn't entirely concerned if it wasn't.

"Possibly. I'm an inquisitor. I seek the truth, but I do not have to share it." you recited, and Marvel-Ann laughed, a real, human sound alongside an electric trill.

"I won't pry, then. The Mechanicus understands mysteries well enough, and when a dark secret is best left unlearned." she said. "Shouldn't be hard for us to find test subjects in a war zone, should it?"

"I leave that to you. Good luck." you said, and you turned to leave, but you felt something pulling you back.

It wasn't metaphorical, it was a mechandrite.

"Lady Inquisitor, when you're done your part of things, and I'm done mine... do you think we could meet for a debriefing?" she asked coyly.

"If circumstances permit." you said. "Then I would be happy to."

---

-[X] Step 3: The Governator.​

--[X] Visit the Governor. Listen more than you talk, Charm when you are talking. Make her think you're on her side 100% while pumping her for information and giving away as little as possible.​

​

Okay folks, here's the deal.​

​

I want a Charm check. This is going to be Hard (even the Nobility don't get to stay governors without at least a little competence), but like half your Talents apply, so adjusted difficulty 3+.​

​

After the roll, every Success you get is a question you can have answered, so we'll choose then. Might be worth dropping a bunch of points into.​

​

Gonna give Praxis 3 RP for taking the time to get this done with the plant, as it shows a commitment to safeguarding the weak in the Imperium in the care of their wounded.​

 

[Jeboboid]

I think we should spend maybe 2 or 3 stress to get as many answers as we can? if we then roll super well, well we sorta have plenty of questions, and getting answers to as many of them as possible would be very useful.

 

[EternalStruggle]

"You're using us as a meat shield." you surmised.

Click to shrink...

The great crux of Craftworld-Imperial relations for about ten thousand years, yes.

Araleth had once told you that the Imperium had only ever tried attacking a Craftworld directly once, and they'd given up after taking heavy losses. You'd said you didn't believe it, that giving up wasn't in the Imperial vocabulary, they'd explained it had happened nearly nine thousand years ago, when the Imperial vocabulary was rather different. They also said there was a treaty, though that you couldn't bring yourself to believe.

Click to shrink...

I dearly hope the Siege of Alaitoc has been retconned and is not in fact about to happen in less than a year.

"Always a pleasure, mon-keigh. Talk to you soon!"

Click to shrink...

You know, you'd think he'd show a little more respect for us than calling us a literal CHUD.

You deactivated the comm, looked at you page of notes, and found yourself grinding your teeth. There was something going on there, Araleth had no reason to be that helpful, unless somebody told them to. And if the witches that gave that infuriating alien their marching orders were suddenly entirely cool with humans knowing the secrets of Eldar technosorcery... then they saw something on the horizon.

Click to shrink...

There's like four existential threats to both humanity and the eldar coming up right now. Three if you don't count the Necrons, but-

Looks at Maynarkh Dynasty

You might want to count the Necrons.

 

[ctulhuslp]

There's like four existential threats to both humanity and the eldar coming up right now. Three if you don't count the Necrons, but-

Looks at Maynarkh Dynasty

You might want to count the Necrons.

Click to shrink...

Simpler.
It's about a year or so till Thirteenth Black Crusade.

 

[open_sketch]

You know, you'd think he'd show a little more respect for us than calling us a literal CHUD.

Click to shrink...

Araleth felt respect for somebody once. It was awful.

 

[EternalStruggle]

Simpler.
It's about a year or so till Thirteenth Black Crusade.

Click to shrink...

Yeah there's Chaos, I counted them, but even if you don't see Abaddabadoo's Big 13 For The Final Victory coming (as in literally see it coming with psychic visions) there's still more than enough going on to realize "oh right our civilization will collapse within the next quarter millennium, which unfortunately is also within my lifetime."

Araleth felt respect for somebody once. It was awful.

Click to shrink...

I mean, fair enough, but surely there's some insult less than calling us genocidal cannibals, only one of those things is true.

 

[open_sketch]

Yeah there's Chaos, I counted them, but even if you don't see Abaddabadoo's Big 13 For The Final Victory coming (as in literally see it coming with psychic visions) there's still more than enough going on to realize "oh right our civilization will collapse within the next quarter millennium, which unfortunately is also within my lifetime."

I mean, fair enough, but surely there's some insult less than calling us genocidal cannibals, only one of those things is true.

Click to shrink...

... Praxis has had a long and complex career, I would not speak in such absolute terms.

(also thats one of the pieces of canon I'm ignoring because it's kind of dumb? One of those "nerds need an explanation for every piece of trivia" things. Mon-keigh is just the Eldar word for human, with all its condescending implications.

One of the ideas I'm playing with is that the portrayal of 40k as it developed is actually somewhat close to the trajectory of the Imperium. The Imperium of M32 looked a lot more like Rogue Trader's weird space opera cyberpunk than the modern aesthetic, and it might have been nearly as strange. Abhumans and Imperial aliens and maybe even the Eldar-Human hybrids??

In other words, the Imperium was never good, it was built on a poisonous foundation, but it didn't used to be this bad.

And the Eldar, as much as they seem timeless, have not always been the way they are. The Eldar only got their "completely condescending dicks" characterization in like, fourth edition, so here, there was a time when the Imperium and the Craftworld Eldar were on speaking terms. But the Eldar have grown more bitter, and the Imperium grown more fanatical and intolerant. Araleth and Praxis got along once, and its because they are very similar people, both of them desperate for their cultures to become less broken.

That they are so similar is also why things went so poorly.)

 

[Jeboboid]

You know, you'd think he'd show a little more respect for us than calling us a literal CHUD.

Click to shrink...

Araleth is non-binary, remember. Please use They/them pronouns.

 

[Always Late]

998 M41 rolled into 999 M41 at midday, to your perspective.

Click to shrink...

Whelp. 365 standard Terran days until Abaddon comes to give the Imperium the mother of all bitch-slaps.

The PDF was carrying out the transfers of suspected traitors to various staff positions, household guards, and other inconsequential positions under surveillance: the Separatists would likely realize they'd been caught, but it would take them a while to catch on. This left you free to start making some inquiries.

Click to shrink...

And by the time they know they've been had, we'll be long gone and they'll be toothless.

You and the Magos, who had the delightful name of Marvel Ann Alemagna-Zero

Click to shrink...

Huh. Interesting name indeed. Sounds scientific enough for Admech, but just a hint of Isekai 'gloriously not giving a shit about linguistics'.

She was eager to see things move quickly, and to your surprise was enthusiastic about the idea of lying to her superiors in order to make things go faster. At the time, you figured she merely wanted to accelerate the process so she'd get more credit for the eventual 'discovery', but she was soon on board with your plan. Time to fall back to an old favourite: falsified records.

Click to shrink...

WOOOO! More paperwork abuse that decrepit Administratum will never catch!

While studying the plant from top to bottom would take centuries, merely replicating key experiments from the past would not be, and this was apparently routine in the Mechanicus. You just had to make up some past experiments.

Click to shrink...

Sounds about right for a theocracy that by M41 has gone from everybody wanting to jump back into AI again to most people shoving the Necronpilliacs into shuttles and shooting them off into space to die doing what they love: We just try to make sure the stuff we have keeps working and the fragments we do have get carefully decoded.

The first step was to send an astropathic message to a contact of yours in the Odos Xenos, requesting access to records. Inquisitor Vonreuter Cotant was a Recongregator like yourself, though of a rather different mindset, believing that the great ill of the Imperium was that its structures, which tended to create generational authority, had a dysgenic effect on the ruling class. The best and brightest of the nobility feel a higher calling, take risks, put themselves in danger, and thus die. The most craven shy from danger and manipulate others, and often find a twisted success. He contrasted this with the wide variety of alien species who used alternate methods to select their rulers, either from the commoners or through the manipulation of lineages.

Click to shrink...

... that's one hell of a new way to structure saying Imperial nobility is stupid. I think the moment we can put a straightjacket on this guy is when he starts saying good things about Orks.

You didn't disagree, but you found his reduction of human behavior and character to genes... distasteful.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, especially when the ignorant Imperium keeps mixing up what's metaphysical ties between souls for stuff baked into those 46 wonderful little miracle-makers. Not that chaos helps with alot of it being as much a fuckton of radiation as reality becoming a suggestion.

On top of that, honestly, the man was a bit of a creep, and like most of that type was quite convinced he was atop the genetic pyramid.

Click to shrink...

Astartes: *laughs in Astartes*
Chaos Space Marine: *laughs in Chaos*
Custodes: *laughs in JoJo*
Emperor of Fails: *rages at everything being fucked up*

It took the form of a beautiful illuminated manuscript produced laboriously by the astropath in question, made all the more impressive by the man's blindness, and then the whole thing was set into a pyr, all the work seared out of physical existence and out into the universe.

Click to shrink...

Always fun to see those many and myriad ways the Imperium clings together based on fucking fortune-telling and folk predictions.

There were hundreds of Inquisitorial Libraries across the Imperium, compendiums of knowledge, and many Inquisitors tried to make a pilgrimage to one at least once a decade or so to dump their records, or a least a version of their records that left out all their worst excesses. You were rather overdue yourself. This information was then compressed and sorted, available for other Inquisitors to take, but all the juicy stuff would inevitably be encrypted behind special passwords, known only to the Inquisitor, and sometimes the curators of the library, to be used only in the event of their death. These libraries were likely the single most dangerous reserves of knowledge outside of Mars, Terra, and the mythical Black Library, and a great many, you suspected a majority of Inquisitors didn't trust them and never used them. It was possible many weren't even aware they existed.

Click to shrink...

*immediately puts into google*
Well, it's explicitly mentioned Inquisitors do run libraries. So sure. Bit of unexplored lore, but sure.

You, of course, had a copy in your shuttle. So when the astropath, two weeks later, scrawled out long string of random words on a piece of paper without even being aware he was doing it, you took the results and fed it into the machine, then started searching through your data-slate.

There were four thousand years of data on the Eldar in here. It was barely indexed. There was no way to sort through it.

This is why you hated computers, why you'd always trust a physical library. Information on a computer was impossible to parse, while a real library was not only sorted, but staffed by intelligent human beings whose job it was to find things for you.

Click to shrink...

Oh you sweet summer child. You were born after a time when a human brain was considered an adequate substitute for a CPU unless a Space Marine was handling it.

It was a supremely unpleasant conversation, but by the end you had everything you could ever possibly want to know about the plant, plus a reiteration of the worst thing Araleth had ever told you: Humans and Eldar don't just look similar. Even beneath the surface they share more traits than they ought to. Their analog to DNA didn't even have the same structure or number of chromosomes, yet almost every medicine that healed an Eldar healed a human, almost everything poisonous to a human would kill an Eldar too. Araleth's wounds would scab over into crystalline structures and yet they related very similar emotions with very similar facial expressions, they could produce no vocalization you couldn't mimic with effort, they were more human than some of the humans you'd been close to.

Because humans and eldar were made, they said. Created, by a creator. They simply called them the Old Ones, and said only one other thing was known about them.

"They also made the orks. Puzzle on that." they'd said.

Click to shrink...

Oh that's easy: Orks are to Eldar what Space Marines are to humans. One's a biological weapon capable of psychic powers, the other is a fully functional civilization that runs entirely on psychic power.

Why else did Gork and Mork just make a bunch of copies of Primarchs and Space Marine Legions for rebuilding the Orks as a galactic power?

"Why exactly are you telling me all this?" you asked suspiciously. The Eldar did not give gifts to those they thought of as lesser.

"I have my reasons." they said cryptically, of course, but then they kept talking, "Our craftworld is nestled deep in your Empire, and has been for four thousand years. Do you know why?"

You didn't, and you admitted as such.

"Because as much as you hate us, and you do hate us, and as much as we're disgusted by you, and we are disgusted, our craftworld has never been directly attacked. Not once. Not by you, as much as many of you want to, and not by anything else, because they'd have to get through you to get to us." they said.

"You're using us as a meat shield." you surmised.

"... meat-shield, such a crude turn of phrase, but yes. A wall of man-meat between a hostile universe and one of the last bastions of our species. It'd be nice if you could stitch that meat back together a little more effectively. Might keep us alive a few more centuries."

Click to shrink...

On the one hand, the Imperium has a ton of uncharted territory within its borders where a Craftworld can hide. On the other, those hiding places aren't exactly unoccupied.

Araleth had once told you that the Imperium had only ever tried attacking a Craftworld directly once, and they'd given up after taking heavy losses. You'd said you didn't believe it, that giving up wasn't in the Imperial vocabulary, they'd explained it had happened nearly nine thousand years ago, when the Imperial vocabulary was rather different.

Click to shrink...

Either Araleth is lying about

Siege of Alaitoc

Click to shrink...

That, that and the business with Idharae, or Araleth doesn't know. Both of these possibilities are terrifying.

They also said there was a treaty, though that you couldn't bring yourself to believe.

Click to shrink...

Eldrad's involved. Of course it sounds bloody implausible.

You deactivated the comm, looked at you page of notes, and found yourself grinding your teeth. There was something going on there, Araleth had no reason to be that helpful, unless somebody told them to. And if the witches that gave that infuriating alien their marching orders were suddenly entirely cool with humans knowing the secrets of Eldar technosorcery... then they saw something on the horizon.

If Dahlia had taught you anything, its that when a witch issues a warning, you listen.

Click to shrink...

*Abaddon looks up from polishing the Talon of Horus* "Smart young woman. Too bad she'll die screaming for a dead god who hates her for existing."

"Inquisitorial archive. Record of four-thousand year old experiments. Sealed away by a Puritan inquisitor." you lied smoothly. Nobody could actually check, and Bookter had provided you with an incident of something similar happening, to which you'd simply amended the plant study alongside research into artifacts recovered from an Eldar world. "They'd been approaching production approval before records were purged. I'm just reversing that order. All you have to do is replicate these results. Besides, I'm certain the Mechanicus would be happy to have their records back, or at least what's left of them."

"So that's the truth, then?" she asked, clearly skeptical, but in a way that let you know she wasn't entirely concerned if it wasn't.

"Possibly. I'm an inquisitor. I seek the truth, but I do not have to share it." you recited, and Marvel-Ann laughed, a real, human sound alongside an electric trill.

Click to shrink...

I love this. I love all of this.

"I won't pry, then. The Mechanicus understands mysteries well enough, and when a dark secret is best left unlearned." she said. "Shouldn't be hard for us to find test subjects in a war zone, should it?"

"I leave that to you. Good luck." you said, and you turned to leave, but you felt something pulling you back.

It wasn't metaphorical, it was a mechandrite.

"Lady Inquisitor, when you're done your part of things, and I'm done mine... do you think we could meet for a debriefing?" she asked coyly.

Click to shrink...

Whelp, I think we can add another Tech-Priestess to the Ex List in about... eh, couple months?

I mean, fair enough, but surely there's some insult less than calling us genocidal cannibals, only one of those things is true.

Click to shrink...

Right, our Inquisitor is far too humane to ever hit an Exterminatus button.

One of the ideas I'm playing with is that the portrayal of 40k as it developed is actually somewhat close to the trajectory of the Imperium. The Imperium of M32 looked a lot more like Rogue Trader's weird space opera cyberpunk than the modern aesthetic, and it might have been nearly as strange. Abhumans and Imperial aliens and maybe even the Eldar-Human hybrids??

Click to shrink...

Oh good, that means in eleven months the Imperium is going to be having its best Thanksgiving in about ten thousand years. When're we getting wedding invitations?

 

[EternalStruggle]

... Praxis has had a long and complex career, I would not speak in such absolute terms.

Click to shrink...

Ouch oofles oof.

One of the ideas I'm playing with is that the portrayal of 40k as it developed is actually somewhat close to the trajectory of the Imperium. The Imperium of M32 looked a lot more like Rogue Trader's weird space opera cyberpunk than the modern aesthetic, and it might have been nearly as strange. Abhumans and Imperial aliens and maybe even the Eldar-Human hybrids??

In other words, the Imperium was never good, it was built on a poisonous foundation, but it didn't used to be this bad.

Click to shrink...

That is just kinda canon? I mean, maybe not in the strict sense of those Rogue Trader aesthetics, but certainly it never stopped being the case that the Imperium of the Forging era and the Imperium of the Prelude to the End Times were very different beasts, and while the HH shows that it was in fact always built on a bog of poison (the Imperium was three mutually suspicious, and sometimes almost hostile, powers working together out of desperation over the fact that if they slowed down the expansion train they'd get headbutted to death by ayy lmaos, sort of like modern Imperial-Craftworld relations ironically enough) the idea it used to be less bad just gets reinforced as we see some of the parts between then and now, like the previously referenced by me TBA. Also, the idea of alien protectorates back then, which...

The Adarnian race was decreed harmless during the Great Crusade, and allowed to live under an Imperial protectorate. It had not prevented them being harvested to extinction. Unluckily for them, their body chemistry had miraculous effects on the human organism.

Click to shrink...

Did not end that well for the aliens.

And the Eldar, as much as they seem timeless, have not always been the way they are. The Eldar only got their "completely condescending dicks" characterization in like, fourth edition, so here, there was a time when the Imperium and the Craftworld Eldar were on speaking terms. But the Eldar have grown more bitter, and the Imperium grown more fanatical and intolerant. Araleth and Praxis got along once, and its because they are very similar people, both of them desperate for their cultures to become less broken.

Click to shrink...

Well, makes sense to me. The Paths didn't exactly spring from the air fully formed immediately.

Araleth is non-binary, remember. Please use They/them pronouns.

Click to shrink...

...ah shit.

*Abaddon looks up from polishing the Talon of Horus* "Smart young woman. Too bad she'll die screaming for a dead god who hates her for existing."

Click to shrink...

In fairness, if she stays strong, or gets taken out by surprise, she'll die stoically instead of screaming.

Oh good, that means in eleven months the Imperium is going to be having its best Thanksgiving in about ten thousand years. When're we getting wedding invitations?

Click to shrink...

I wouldn't count on 8th Edition fluff happening here, hence my continuing suggestions of incoming doom.

 

[open_sketch]

To be clear: I am retconing the Siege of Alaitoc because frankly I much prefer the dynamic wherein the Imperium and the Eldar endlessly circle each other like two predators, both grievously wounded, both too scared to attack, but even more scared to back down.

Atop that, Not Attacking Eldar Craftsworlds is one of those things thats embedded in Imperial bureaucracy and has been there so long nobody remembers why. It's just always quickly swept off the strategic priorities list, and there are ancient laws in the planning halls against bringing it up.

... because there was a treaty, even if they don't remember it.

(also, my last edition was Fifth, so don't expect much of anything past that. Or at the very least, don't presume it will go the same way.)

 

[Always Late]

That is just kinda canon? I mean, maybe not in the strict sense of those Rogue Trader aesthetics, but certainly it never stopped being the case that the Imperium of the Forging era and the Imperium of the Prelude to the End Times were very different beasts, and while the HH shows that it was in fact always built on a bog of poison (the Imperium was three mutually suspicious, and sometimes almost hostile, powers working together out of desperation over the fact that if they slowed down the expansion train they'd get headbutted to death by ayy lmaos, sort of like modern Imperial-Craftworld relations ironically enough) the idea it used to be less bad just gets reinforced as we see some of the parts between then and now, like the previously referenced by me TBA.

Click to shrink...

From what I've gathered in the author interviews and online posts, BL's big team of writers sort of has a few running overall themes. One of them is 'the folly of empire'. It's that every group of people at some point in time has gotten what I like to call The Idea. We know the one. The idea that they're that special, that they're better than their neighbors according to these perfectly flawless qualities, that the world as they perceive it is rightfully theirs to rule. Then they go out, fuck a bunch of shit up for their neighbors, fail miserably, get reduced to a minor power, realize they were horrible jackasses the whole time, and watch as other groups do the cycle over again. You see it in all aspects of 40k's Lore: The Necrons believed they deserved to have immortality because they'd been left to rot by beings they saw as gods. They got turned into puppets and corruptible machines by the gods they made. The Eldar believed they'd won a galaxy that was theirs for as long as their immortal lives lasted and the council of Old One-appointed nurses and governesses was unneeded. The setting currently exists because of this bad idea. The Emperor believed the only way to keep Chaos and the Orks at bay when humanity had fallen back to feudal ignorance was for him to crack enough skulls together to go and put down all the galaxy's threats before bringing people back to a negotiating table for internal reforms. He forgot what it meant to be a good man, and it cost humanity its last hope.

Given the people at GW and BL are all in their early 40s to mid 50s, if not older, the philosophy makes sense. The Cold War was making one last ramp-up before it all fell apart with the USSR going belly up.

To be clear: I am retconing the Siege of Alaitoc because frankly I much prefer the dynamic wherein the Imperium and the Eldar endlessly circle each other like two predators, both grievously wounded, both too scared to attack, but even more scared to back down.

Atop that, Not Attacking Eldar Craftsworlds is one of those things thats embedded in Imperial bureaucracy and has been there so long nobody remembers why. It's just always quickly swept off the strategic priorities list, and there are ancient laws in the planning halls against bringing it up.

... because there was a treaty, even if they don't remember it.

Click to shrink...

I like this. It's positively Orwellian, and uses one of the fun rules of 40k you can have justify almost anything: Nobody knows how it happened, it just did, and it's what we always do.

I wouldn't count on 8th Edition fluff happening here, hence my continuing suggestions of incoming doom.

Click to shrink...

(also, my last edition was Fifth, so don't expect much of anything past that. Or at the very least, don't presume it will go the same way.)

Click to shrink...

So long as I get to use my Blackberry* shipping memes somewhere and somehow, I eagerly await whatever comes out.

*name patent pending

 

[EternalStruggle]

From what I've gathered in the author interviews and online posts, BL's big team of writers sort of has a few running overall themes. One of them is 'the folly of empire'. It's that every group of people at some point in time has gotten what I like to call The Idea. We know the one. The idea that they're that special, that they're better than their neighbors according to these perfectly flawless qualities, that the world as they perceive it is rightfully theirs to rule. Then they go out, fuck a bunch of shit up for their neighbors, fail miserably, get reduced to a minor power, realize they were horrible jackasses the whole time, and watch as other groups do the cycle over again. You see it in all aspects of 40k's Lore: The Necrons believed they deserved to have immortality because they'd been left to rot by beings they saw as gods. They got turned into puppets and corruptible machines by the gods they made. The Eldar believed they'd won a galaxy that was theirs for as long as their immortal lives lasted and the council of Old One-appointed nurses and governesses was unneeded. The setting currently exists because of this bad idea. The Emperor believed the only way to keep Chaos and the Orks at bay when humanity had fallen back to feudal ignorance was for him to crack enough skulls together to go and put down all the galaxy's threats before bringing people back to a negotiating table for internal reforms. He forgot what it meant to be a good man, and it cost humanity its last hope.

Click to shrink...

The good news is that this will be the last such cycle. None of the contenders for the throne are in the business of making those kinds of mistakes, being either too self destructive or not nearly self destructive enough.

Unfortunately this isn't actually a good thing for the universe, so maybe it's bad news.

So long as I get to use my Blackberry* shipping memes somewhere and somehow, I eagerly await whatever comes out.

*name patent pending

Click to shrink...

...Blackberry?

Well it's... creative as far as ship names go, I'll give you that.

(This Is Code For: I don't get it, please explain.)

 

[Always Late]

The good news is that this will be the last such cycle. None of the contenders for the throne are in the business of making those kinds of mistakes, being either too self destructive or not nearly self destructive enough.

Unfortunately this isn't actually a good thing for the universe, so maybe it's bad news.

Click to shrink...

I think there're four entities who'd like to take you up on that idea of this being the 'last' cycle. After all, Chaos will technically rule the galaxy before it all resets back into Age Of Guilliman.

...Blackberry?

Well it's... creative as far as ship names go, I'll give you that.

(This Is Code For: I don't get it, please explain.)

Click to shrink...

Guilliman is a Blueberry, Yvrain wears black, Blackberry.

 

[EternalStruggle]

I think there're four entities who'd like to take you up on that idea of this being the 'last' cycle. After all, Chaos will technically rule the galaxy before it all resets back into Age Of Guilliman.

Click to shrink...

Yeah I don't think we're getting that here either, just a hunch.

My thought based on what we've seen in this Quest so far is that if it's Chaos that pulls off the W, we're likely going to see a collapse into the Warp that wipes out existence, at least in the Milky Way.

Guilliman is a Blueberry, Yvrain wears black, Blackberry.

Click to shrink...

...well it's logical at least.

 

[Rockeye]

What is rp exactly? Can't see it in any of the informational posts

 

[Ramble]

What is rp exactly? Can't see it in any of the informational posts

Click to shrink...

Relaxation points. Basically, our inquisitor builds up stress from the duties required of her, but fortunately, she has ways to de-stress if she has a bit of time to just do her own thing.

Like, have you ever spent just five minutes flicking a fidget spinner?

 

[open_sketch]

Praxis is a workaholic too, hence the logic: by achieving her personal aims, she can justify relaxing a little longer and burning off more penalties.

 

[Ramble]

So are we just gonna hold things together until the magos gets back to us with a final verdict? A general broadcast under inquisitorial authority that the plant is officially sanctioned should kick the feet out from under the insurgency.

 

[open_sketch]

Do me that charm roll and I will write!

 

[Artificial Girl]

Rolz isn't working so:

Spoiler: Dice down

Glad I decided to roll two dice.

 

[open_sketch]

Okay, so two successes!

[ ] Write In (Two Questions that the Governor will have to answer.)​

​

Also, we're going into a Governor's palace on a paradise world, so snippet votes: what kind of Awful 40k Shit are they up to in this here court?