Ring-Maker [Worm/Lord of the Rings Alt-Power] [Complete]
- Thread starter Lithos Maitreya
- Start date
- Crossover Users' Choice!
Voted best in category in the Users' Choice awards.
- Location
- Germany
Valefor seems kinda sloppy in canon. Not stupid, but not very thorough either.
He propably got as many drivers as he could and called it good.
These things will keep happening as long as Taylor keeps using inadequately matched rings.
BungieONI
Seven gremlins in a trench coat
- Location
- Lickwidget
- Pronouns
- She/Her
@Lithos Maitreya why are you trying to convert @Datcord into an alcohol elemental?
Excellent update. Interesting to see Taylor's reaction.
SaltyWaffles
I am dissapoint, son
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hopefully Taylor learns from this and makes sure to keep the ring best suited for a situation equipped at all times, switching to another only when absolutely needed (and only for as long as needed).
Because she made a really, really dumb mistake here.
Because she made a really, really dumb mistake here.
The correct ring is #20, always. The longer Taylor holds on to Vilya and Narya, instead of handing them over to their bearers, the worse it will be to both her and the world.
JuliusClonkus
Scatterbrained Speculator
- Location
- Federal Reichspublic of Karlsland
I suspect The One will come as part of a realization that she should be able to do more than just blindly replicate the artifacts she sees in her mind...
Or rather, that the powers of the One may very well be much more aligned to her own goals and intentions at the time of creating it, if the canonical One Ring's creation is any indication whatsoever. What I really just want to say is "Taylor, get over your scruples, and bloody forge the damn thing before Brockton Bay convinces you that going full Sauron is the better option for the world".
Personally, I think that her Ringbearers will be a major motive force in her decision to forge the One Ring, and they would trust Taylor with this power more easily than she would trust herself. "Okay, we get that you could totally master all of us with this, but we know that you wouldn't do that unless you really needed to."
Hecatonchires
Just an H-class cyborg with an octopus brain stem
- Location
- The Gong, NSW, Australia
Excellent use of subverted minion 
- Location
- not here
You know, It's a really neat way to show how much of a pain it can be to fight a master. I mean the van crashing probably won't do much to really deter them, but it's still one more issue to deal with.
It's gonna be such a delicious mess, I can hardly wait
Also it's great to see Dragon taking it on herself to be the mediator between Taylor and Armsi. This could turn really ugly really fast otherwise. Colin can seriously hold a grudge.
It's gonna be such a delicious mess, I can hardly wait
Also it's great to see Dragon taking it on herself to be the mediator between Taylor and Armsi. This could turn really ugly really fast otherwise. Colin can seriously hold a grudge.
Flicker 8.2
Lithos Maitreya
Character Witness
- Location
- United States
Many thanks to @Assembler, @themanwhowas, @fabledFreeboota, @Skyrunner, @BeaconHill, and ShadowStepper1300 for betareading.
Many thanks to @MugaSofer for fact checking.
"Annatar. Annatar, do you copy?"
I pushed my way out from the pile of masonry under which I'd been buried, and at last palmed my radio. "I copy, Director. Our driver was compromised. Someone—Valefor sent up a signal flare and he drove into a wall. I'm sorry, I wasn't wearing Narya. It's my fault."
"It's not, but are you wearing Narya now?"
I slipped it on, put Vilya away, and closed the Jewelry Box. "Yes, Ma'am." I swallowed, looking over the pile of brickwork which had once been a sound wall. We'd broken into the lawn surrounding an office building. The van had gone straight through the wall, across the short stretch of grass, and into the glass wall of the building beyond. I could see bricks and shards stirring around me where others were pulling themselves out of the rubble, but I didn't know who was still alive and conscious.
"Good," said Piggot. "He somehow got our designated drivers. Several of our vans have been destroyed. He must have been gathering intel on us for weeks. We just lost several good people, Annatar. I need you to get your teammates out of the rubble, as fast as you can. We'll talk about what to do after you know who's still alive."
"Everyone's still alive."
I turned. Sophia stood there, her form still coalescing after returning from her search beneath the rubble. "All of us are fine," she reported. "Vista will need some help getting out. The driver's dead."
I swallowed. "Thank you," I said. "Director, we'll dig the others out."
"Do that. Quickly. Piggot out."
I clipped my radio back to my belt. "Okay," I said. "Where's Vista?"
"Over here." She led me to a particularly shallow place where the rubble was stirring. Sure enough, there was Vista's arm, pulling away at the bricks.
We knelt and helped her clear them away. She was coughing and wheezing in a cloud of dust when we got her free.
"Fuck," she growled, pulling herself into a sitting position and rubbing her bruised leg. "What is it with operations you're in charge of and us getting buried, Annatar?"
"Don't you fucking dare blame this on Annatar," said Sophia in a voice like a knife.
"It was a joke," grumbled Vista. "I'm just pissed off. Is everyone okay?"
"All of us," I said.
"That's all I care about. Let's get them out."
Browbeat had already pulled himself free by the time we started on the next of our friends. One by one, they came free. No one was seriously injured, though we were all bruised and in pain.
"Director," I spoke into the radio. "We've all gotten out of the rubble now. Should we report back to headquarters?"
"No." That wasn't Piggot's voice. "Dragon and I have set up a containment perimeter around the church. You are to make your way here."
"Armsmaster?"
"Yes." His voice was hard, determined. "I will not allow the Fallen to gain a foothold in this city. This ends now, before Valefor has a chance to make things any worse."
"Yes, sir!" I was glad. This whole affair reminded me uncomfortably of Bakuda. While I wasn't willing to lead my Wards into danger the way I had that night, the instinct to stop the enemy now was still there, and every bit as strong as it had been then.
"We don't have transportation," Panacea reminded us.
I looked at her. Then I looked at Vista, who was also looking at the former healer.
"Hello, and welcome to Vista air," she said in a sing-song voice. "I'll be your pilot for the evening. Now let's go."
"After you," said Gallant.
Vista stopped. Her head turned and she gave him a look. I couldn't see her eyes under her visor, but I could still feel the hardness in them. Gallant looked away.
Without another word, Vista lazily waved a hand through the air, and the road beside us shortened until one step was a couple of blocks. One by one, we stepped through.
It took us several such jumps before we neared Armsmaster. The city wasn't exactly in chaos, but there was a thick, cloying tension in the air. Valefor's presence had been felt, and the people were on edge. The sun was only starting to sink, it was still the middle of a warm afternoon, but it felt like night had fallen.
After a few minutes of travel, we were deposited outside a shop which I recognized. The windows had been broken, and the store was empty—both of personnel, and of the weapons which had been on its shelves.
The shop was on a street corner, and down one street I could see the spires of the church rising above the other buildings. Beside the shop, taking cover behind it, was Armsmaster. His blue armor was freshly repaired and painted, his halberd polished to a rich luster. We ducked into cover with him, and he turned to us.
"Wards. Good to see you."
"Armsmaster." I nodded at him. "Who else is here?"
"Velocity's making sure they stay contained," he said. "Battery and Triumph are down the road that way, at another exit point, and Miss Militia and Assault are on their way."
"Are you in command then?"
He nodded. "Yes. Annatar, you can break Valefor's power on people?"
I nodded. "When it's active, at least. I'm not sure I can break the effect on sleeper agents."
"Then we'll have to be careful." He turned and looked down the road towards the spire a couple of blocks down. The cross atop the building was slightly crooked. "Valefor is still in there," he said. "He's biding his time, and I don't know what he's waiting for."
"What has he got?" Clockblocker asked. "Weapons, troops?"
Armsmaster's lips turned downwards into a scowl. "Thralls," he spat. "He's likely got them implanted with suggestions to rush us if we attack, but right now they're just scared civilians. It's a standard tactic for human masters with large numbers of minions. They're packed in there with him, at least a hundred, based on infrared scans."
"So it's a hostage situation," Panacea said. She glanced at me. "Didn't you infiltrate the last hostage situation you were in?"
I met her eyes. "I still had Nenya then."
She winced. "…Right."
"Could you infiltrate?" Armsmaster asked her. "You and Shadow Stalker?"
"I don't…." Panacea shook her head. "I've never been good with Nenya's stranger powers. They work, but I'm not trained for combat and infiltration the way Annatar and Shadow Stalker are."
"Annatar did that mission after being a Ward for three days," said Sophia dryly.
Panacea rolled her eyes. "Annatar cheats, though," she grumbled.
"Enough." Armsmaster's voice was hard. "Infiltration is out, then. I'm not sending you in alone, Shadow Stalker."
"I just infiltrated a meeting for all of Empire 88 on my own," Sophia protested. "I can handle this."
"You shouldn't have to," countered Armsmaster. "We have the advantage of numbers, at least where capes are concerned. It doesn't make sense to relinquish that, even for the sake of intelligence. After all, we know where they are, and I don't intend for them to be on the streets long enough for their future plans to make any difference. We don't need to infiltrate. We just need to wait for backup, and then engage."
"You said they were stalling," I pointed out. "Are you sure waiting is the right call?"
His gaze fell upon me. "Sure? No. But I'm sure attacking before we're ready would be the wrong one. Unless you have a pressing desire to repeat the Bakuda fiasco?"
"Hey," growled Sophia.
Armsmaster completely ignored her, and me, and turned back towards the church. "Miss Militia will contact us soon," he said. "When she does, we'll attack. Priority one is keeping the civilians alive. Am I understood?"
"Of course," I said, glancing around at my Wards. They were all nodding.
"If they run at you, you are not to kill them," said Armsmaster grimly. "If they have weapons, you are not to kill them. Lethal force is authorized if and only if it is your only choice in the face of imminent death, on the part of yourself or a teammate."
"Yes, sir," we chorused.
He looked back at us. There was a grim, downward set to his lips. He didn't say anything, just considered us.
Then something fell from the sky. It was a hulking mechanical thing, four-legged and plated in golden armor like scales. Weapons bristled from its back—guns, missiles, lasers, and some things I couldn't even begin to identify. Its long neck ended in a lizard-like face, in which were set two glowing electronic eyes, blue as sapphires.
Armsmaster turned to it. "Dragon," he said, and there was something in his voice, under the cold professionalism—a softness I didn't think I'd ever heard there before. "Anything to report?"
Dragon seemed to hesitate. It was hard to read her through the mechanical suit. "Nothing pressing," she said, her voice somewhat distorted, but still recognizable. "Except that Miss Militia and Assault are almost in position outside the outer perimeter. You'll be getting a call in a few moments. Which angle do you want me to come in from?"
He considered. "Can you attack from the coast side?" he asked. " From the air. They probably won't expect that."
She nodded, her long neck bending elegantly. "I can do that."
"Thank you," he said. Then his radio chimed.
"This is Miss Militia," came the voice I knew well. "Assault and I are in position."
"Good," said Armsmaster. He glanced at Dragon.
"Good luck," she said quietly.
I saw his lips twitch slightly into a faint, involuntary smile. "You too." Then he turned to us.
"Our objective is to get to the church and disable Valefor," he said. "The civilians are not to be harmed, but the PRT can handle containing them. We need to focus on the master. We can't let him keep enslaving people. So we want to get past the civilians, if he sends them against us, and not get bogged down in either fighting or disabling them."
"Got it," I said. "Vista, can you help?"
"Not around the corner," she said. "If it's a clear shot, yeah."
"If it's possible, we'll do that," said Armsmaster. Then he spoke into his radio. "Prepare to engage on my mark."
He turned to me as Dragon flew away. "Narya?" he asked.
"On my finger." I glanced at my Wards. They were looking at me.
Armsmaster bared his teeth. "Mark," he said. Then he turned the corner and charged.
Out came Iphannis. Its blade shone blue as the haft extended. With my Wards behind me, I rushed after Armsmaster.
Even as we began to run, though, doors along both sides of the road opened, and out poured people—men, women, even children, all with blank eyes and slack jaws. They rushed out to meet us, some with weapons, some without. None of them had guns, which was a small mercy.
"Vista?" I called.
"Too many people!" she said. "Can't!"
I nodded and raised my hand. Narya flared. The red light of the Ring of Fire spread slowly over one face after another. Eyes cleared and blinked. A few people fell to their knees, and some began to cry. One woman began to vomit.
But Narya spread slowly. Freeing this many dominated souls took time, and so we were being pushed into a growing circle of freed civilians, hemmed in from outside by more thralls. In the end, this only made it harder to push forward.
"Gallant!" I shouted. "I need some help!"
"What do you suggest?" he asked.
"Make them move!"
He stared at me for a moment, then he nodded. "Got it!" He raised Araya, and the Fire Opal shone brightest orange. I felt the wave of terror pass over me, but it did not light upon me. Not so for the civilians crushing me. They screamed and began fighting their way through the enthralled, joining us in our efforts to push through, albeit for entirely different reasons.
Slowly, by terrifying the civilians and freeing the enthralled, we pushed our way through. Armsmaster led us, and we Wards followed.
Dragon's suit was already hovering in the churchyard when we arrived. The crowd thinned as we neared the gate, and cleared entirely when we had passed into the church's surrounding lawn. Behind us, near the perimeter we had first crossed, I saw a line of PRT troops beginning to foam civilians en masse.
Dragon flew down and joined us as we crossed into the yard. "I thought you'd want us to breach around the same time," she said by way of explanation.
"Thank you," Armsmaster nodded. "The others, where are they?"
"Miss Militia and Assault will be here shortly," she said. "The other two teams are still about a block away, getting bogged down with civilians. Velocity's trying to help them through, but he can get to us pretty quickly."
"Damn," Armsmaster swore. "We'll wait for them, and then go in." He looked around. "Why is he letting us stay here? Why aren't the civilians out there still coming after us? What's his game?"
"He knows I can counter him directly," I said. "He might just be stalling."
"Or he might be setting up a deadman's switch of some kind," said Clockblocker grimly.
"Dammit," Armsmaster swore. "You're right, we can't afford to wait. Dragon, call for Velocity, and send the others in after us."
"Are you sure, Armsmaster?"
He hesitated, meeting the mechanical dragon's piercing gaze. "...Yes," he said at last.
She nodded, her head dipping elegantly on her long neck. "Okay. I'll breach from above while you go in through the door. Good luck."
He smiled faintly. "Thanks. You too."
He turned to us. "Annatar, are you ready?"
I stretched my fingers. Narya flared. "Of course."
"Then let's go." He turned and led us into the building.
Please consider donating to my Patreon. Many thanks to those who have already donated.
Many thanks to @MugaSofer for fact checking.
-x-x-x-
"Annatar. Annatar, do you copy?"
I pushed my way out from the pile of masonry under which I'd been buried, and at last palmed my radio. "I copy, Director. Our driver was compromised. Someone—Valefor sent up a signal flare and he drove into a wall. I'm sorry, I wasn't wearing Narya. It's my fault."
"It's not, but are you wearing Narya now?"
I slipped it on, put Vilya away, and closed the Jewelry Box. "Yes, Ma'am." I swallowed, looking over the pile of brickwork which had once been a sound wall. We'd broken into the lawn surrounding an office building. The van had gone straight through the wall, across the short stretch of grass, and into the glass wall of the building beyond. I could see bricks and shards stirring around me where others were pulling themselves out of the rubble, but I didn't know who was still alive and conscious.
"Good," said Piggot. "He somehow got our designated drivers. Several of our vans have been destroyed. He must have been gathering intel on us for weeks. We just lost several good people, Annatar. I need you to get your teammates out of the rubble, as fast as you can. We'll talk about what to do after you know who's still alive."
"Everyone's still alive."
I turned. Sophia stood there, her form still coalescing after returning from her search beneath the rubble. "All of us are fine," she reported. "Vista will need some help getting out. The driver's dead."
I swallowed. "Thank you," I said. "Director, we'll dig the others out."
"Do that. Quickly. Piggot out."
I clipped my radio back to my belt. "Okay," I said. "Where's Vista?"
"Over here." She led me to a particularly shallow place where the rubble was stirring. Sure enough, there was Vista's arm, pulling away at the bricks.
We knelt and helped her clear them away. She was coughing and wheezing in a cloud of dust when we got her free.
"Fuck," she growled, pulling herself into a sitting position and rubbing her bruised leg. "What is it with operations you're in charge of and us getting buried, Annatar?"
"Don't you fucking dare blame this on Annatar," said Sophia in a voice like a knife.
"It was a joke," grumbled Vista. "I'm just pissed off. Is everyone okay?"
"All of us," I said.
"That's all I care about. Let's get them out."
Browbeat had already pulled himself free by the time we started on the next of our friends. One by one, they came free. No one was seriously injured, though we were all bruised and in pain.
"Director," I spoke into the radio. "We've all gotten out of the rubble now. Should we report back to headquarters?"
"No." That wasn't Piggot's voice. "Dragon and I have set up a containment perimeter around the church. You are to make your way here."
"Armsmaster?"
"Yes." His voice was hard, determined. "I will not allow the Fallen to gain a foothold in this city. This ends now, before Valefor has a chance to make things any worse."
"Yes, sir!" I was glad. This whole affair reminded me uncomfortably of Bakuda. While I wasn't willing to lead my Wards into danger the way I had that night, the instinct to stop the enemy now was still there, and every bit as strong as it had been then.
"We don't have transportation," Panacea reminded us.
I looked at her. Then I looked at Vista, who was also looking at the former healer.
"Hello, and welcome to Vista air," she said in a sing-song voice. "I'll be your pilot for the evening. Now let's go."
"After you," said Gallant.
Vista stopped. Her head turned and she gave him a look. I couldn't see her eyes under her visor, but I could still feel the hardness in them. Gallant looked away.
Without another word, Vista lazily waved a hand through the air, and the road beside us shortened until one step was a couple of blocks. One by one, we stepped through.
It took us several such jumps before we neared Armsmaster. The city wasn't exactly in chaos, but there was a thick, cloying tension in the air. Valefor's presence had been felt, and the people were on edge. The sun was only starting to sink, it was still the middle of a warm afternoon, but it felt like night had fallen.
After a few minutes of travel, we were deposited outside a shop which I recognized. The windows had been broken, and the store was empty—both of personnel, and of the weapons which had been on its shelves.
The shop was on a street corner, and down one street I could see the spires of the church rising above the other buildings. Beside the shop, taking cover behind it, was Armsmaster. His blue armor was freshly repaired and painted, his halberd polished to a rich luster. We ducked into cover with him, and he turned to us.
"Wards. Good to see you."
"Armsmaster." I nodded at him. "Who else is here?"
"Velocity's making sure they stay contained," he said. "Battery and Triumph are down the road that way, at another exit point, and Miss Militia and Assault are on their way."
"Are you in command then?"
He nodded. "Yes. Annatar, you can break Valefor's power on people?"
I nodded. "When it's active, at least. I'm not sure I can break the effect on sleeper agents."
"Then we'll have to be careful." He turned and looked down the road towards the spire a couple of blocks down. The cross atop the building was slightly crooked. "Valefor is still in there," he said. "He's biding his time, and I don't know what he's waiting for."
"What has he got?" Clockblocker asked. "Weapons, troops?"
Armsmaster's lips turned downwards into a scowl. "Thralls," he spat. "He's likely got them implanted with suggestions to rush us if we attack, but right now they're just scared civilians. It's a standard tactic for human masters with large numbers of minions. They're packed in there with him, at least a hundred, based on infrared scans."
"So it's a hostage situation," Panacea said. She glanced at me. "Didn't you infiltrate the last hostage situation you were in?"
I met her eyes. "I still had Nenya then."
She winced. "…Right."
"Could you infiltrate?" Armsmaster asked her. "You and Shadow Stalker?"
"I don't…." Panacea shook her head. "I've never been good with Nenya's stranger powers. They work, but I'm not trained for combat and infiltration the way Annatar and Shadow Stalker are."
"Annatar did that mission after being a Ward for three days," said Sophia dryly.
Panacea rolled her eyes. "Annatar cheats, though," she grumbled.
"Enough." Armsmaster's voice was hard. "Infiltration is out, then. I'm not sending you in alone, Shadow Stalker."
"I just infiltrated a meeting for all of Empire 88 on my own," Sophia protested. "I can handle this."
"You shouldn't have to," countered Armsmaster. "We have the advantage of numbers, at least where capes are concerned. It doesn't make sense to relinquish that, even for the sake of intelligence. After all, we know where they are, and I don't intend for them to be on the streets long enough for their future plans to make any difference. We don't need to infiltrate. We just need to wait for backup, and then engage."
"You said they were stalling," I pointed out. "Are you sure waiting is the right call?"
His gaze fell upon me. "Sure? No. But I'm sure attacking before we're ready would be the wrong one. Unless you have a pressing desire to repeat the Bakuda fiasco?"
"Hey," growled Sophia.
Armsmaster completely ignored her, and me, and turned back towards the church. "Miss Militia will contact us soon," he said. "When she does, we'll attack. Priority one is keeping the civilians alive. Am I understood?"
"Of course," I said, glancing around at my Wards. They were all nodding.
"If they run at you, you are not to kill them," said Armsmaster grimly. "If they have weapons, you are not to kill them. Lethal force is authorized if and only if it is your only choice in the face of imminent death, on the part of yourself or a teammate."
"Yes, sir," we chorused.
He looked back at us. There was a grim, downward set to his lips. He didn't say anything, just considered us.
Then something fell from the sky. It was a hulking mechanical thing, four-legged and plated in golden armor like scales. Weapons bristled from its back—guns, missiles, lasers, and some things I couldn't even begin to identify. Its long neck ended in a lizard-like face, in which were set two glowing electronic eyes, blue as sapphires.
Armsmaster turned to it. "Dragon," he said, and there was something in his voice, under the cold professionalism—a softness I didn't think I'd ever heard there before. "Anything to report?"
Dragon seemed to hesitate. It was hard to read her through the mechanical suit. "Nothing pressing," she said, her voice somewhat distorted, but still recognizable. "Except that Miss Militia and Assault are almost in position outside the outer perimeter. You'll be getting a call in a few moments. Which angle do you want me to come in from?"
He considered. "Can you attack from the coast side?" he asked. " From the air. They probably won't expect that."
She nodded, her long neck bending elegantly. "I can do that."
"Thank you," he said. Then his radio chimed.
"This is Miss Militia," came the voice I knew well. "Assault and I are in position."
"Good," said Armsmaster. He glanced at Dragon.
"Good luck," she said quietly.
I saw his lips twitch slightly into a faint, involuntary smile. "You too." Then he turned to us.
"Our objective is to get to the church and disable Valefor," he said. "The civilians are not to be harmed, but the PRT can handle containing them. We need to focus on the master. We can't let him keep enslaving people. So we want to get past the civilians, if he sends them against us, and not get bogged down in either fighting or disabling them."
"Got it," I said. "Vista, can you help?"
"Not around the corner," she said. "If it's a clear shot, yeah."
"If it's possible, we'll do that," said Armsmaster. Then he spoke into his radio. "Prepare to engage on my mark."
He turned to me as Dragon flew away. "Narya?" he asked.
"On my finger." I glanced at my Wards. They were looking at me.
Armsmaster bared his teeth. "Mark," he said. Then he turned the corner and charged.
Out came Iphannis. Its blade shone blue as the haft extended. With my Wards behind me, I rushed after Armsmaster.
Even as we began to run, though, doors along both sides of the road opened, and out poured people—men, women, even children, all with blank eyes and slack jaws. They rushed out to meet us, some with weapons, some without. None of them had guns, which was a small mercy.
"Vista?" I called.
"Too many people!" she said. "Can't!"
I nodded and raised my hand. Narya flared. The red light of the Ring of Fire spread slowly over one face after another. Eyes cleared and blinked. A few people fell to their knees, and some began to cry. One woman began to vomit.
But Narya spread slowly. Freeing this many dominated souls took time, and so we were being pushed into a growing circle of freed civilians, hemmed in from outside by more thralls. In the end, this only made it harder to push forward.
"Gallant!" I shouted. "I need some help!"
"What do you suggest?" he asked.
"Make them move!"
He stared at me for a moment, then he nodded. "Got it!" He raised Araya, and the Fire Opal shone brightest orange. I felt the wave of terror pass over me, but it did not light upon me. Not so for the civilians crushing me. They screamed and began fighting their way through the enthralled, joining us in our efforts to push through, albeit for entirely different reasons.
Slowly, by terrifying the civilians and freeing the enthralled, we pushed our way through. Armsmaster led us, and we Wards followed.
Dragon's suit was already hovering in the churchyard when we arrived. The crowd thinned as we neared the gate, and cleared entirely when we had passed into the church's surrounding lawn. Behind us, near the perimeter we had first crossed, I saw a line of PRT troops beginning to foam civilians en masse.
Dragon flew down and joined us as we crossed into the yard. "I thought you'd want us to breach around the same time," she said by way of explanation.
"Thank you," Armsmaster nodded. "The others, where are they?"
"Miss Militia and Assault will be here shortly," she said. "The other two teams are still about a block away, getting bogged down with civilians. Velocity's trying to help them through, but he can get to us pretty quickly."
"Damn," Armsmaster swore. "We'll wait for them, and then go in." He looked around. "Why is he letting us stay here? Why aren't the civilians out there still coming after us? What's his game?"
"He knows I can counter him directly," I said. "He might just be stalling."
"Or he might be setting up a deadman's switch of some kind," said Clockblocker grimly.
"Dammit," Armsmaster swore. "You're right, we can't afford to wait. Dragon, call for Velocity, and send the others in after us."
"Are you sure, Armsmaster?"
He hesitated, meeting the mechanical dragon's piercing gaze. "...Yes," he said at last.
She nodded, her head dipping elegantly on her long neck. "Okay. I'll breach from above while you go in through the door. Good luck."
He smiled faintly. "Thanks. You too."
He turned to us. "Annatar, are you ready?"
I stretched my fingers. Narya flared. "Of course."
"Then let's go." He turned and led us into the building.
-x-x-x-
Please consider donating to my Patreon. Many thanks to those who have already donated.
Last edited:
Lithos Maitreya
Character Witness
- Location
- United States
For the record... I don't much like this chapter. I don't much like the entire first half of Arc 8. But the end of Arc 8, and Arc 9, should be more than worth it. So if you all find yourselves getting bored, just know you're not alone, and please consider waiting it out.
This is a two-update week. Flicker 8.3 will be arriving on Friday.
Unfortunately, I have to delay Flicker 8.3 to Monday for real life reasons.
Unfortunately, I have to delay Flicker 8.3 to Monday for real life reasons.
Last edited:
Don't be too hard on yourself. Few authors can manage to write novels that are consistently top quality throughout. Not that I could see anything particularly wrong with the chapter. Perhaps it's just the absence of the vague feeling of it being just right?
- Location
- Earth Prime
Might I ask what you dislike about these chapters? Maybe some additional brains can storm up some ideas to address the issues.
Lithos Maitreya
Character Witness
- Location
- United States
They progress the plot without doing anything for the story. There's nothing happening that I actually care about. Just conflict and Annatar working to solve problems. I'm more interested in the characters.
- Location
- not here
Then I would suggest switching narration perspective. The whole scene when they were getting out of a rubble could be a pretext for some heart to heart with one of the wards, while reporting to Piggot could be shortened to a single sentance. Its the matter of execution then to make it work.
Alternatively you could have well skipped this installment altogether and started where this one ended, summing all that happened in a few sentences, because frankly it wasn't anything important.
Finally what I would choose to do here is to use the otherwise boring installment to put an interlude in. This few scenes could make more contribution if described from Armsmaster's perspective IMHO.
- Location
- Earth Prime
Personally, I thought the characterization was more powerful for its sparcity, here. Sophia's knee-jerk defensiveness for Taylor. Vista's snubbing Dean. Armsmaster's abrasive attention to things past that are only tangentially relevant.
In particular, Annatar picking up on Armsmaster's softer tone where Dragon is involved is character development seed-planting. The Gift-Giver now knows both sides of that quietly uncertain relationship.
But then, I find writing characterization to be very, very hard. As probably shows in all my minimalist interactions in Transfer Student. So I didn't notice any lack in your last few chapters.
In particular, Annatar picking up on Armsmaster's softer tone where Dragon is involved is character development seed-planting. The Gift-Giver now knows both sides of that quietly uncertain relationship.
But then, I find writing characterization to be very, very hard. As probably shows in all my minimalist interactions in Transfer Student. So I didn't notice any lack in your last few chapters.
- Location
- New Zealand
Well, I'm still enjoying it. I don't expect every single chapter to have me on the edge of my seat, and you update frequently enough that a chapter or two without much really happening isn't a problem.
I think that should be "NOT around the corner,"
- Location
- not here
I very much agree with you here, and Lithos has a real knack for showing character in those small ways, so that it doesn't have to be described and force fed to the audience. But while those are great, the issue remains, that very little happens in this installment.
Now it's not really a big problem, it is the obvious brigde between what started the altercation and it's resolution. But on the other hand it is a bridge, with some clear lines, the details could be easily left to readers imaginations. As such it could well have been summarised, or replaced with interlude.
Both those options could obviously backfire if done incorrectly, resulting in loss of suspense. But some of that was lost regardless, as the action was really slow here, and even the subduing of thralls was more formality than something with any real chance of failing. In other words going around that could help along greatly.
The saving grace was skillfull piece of foreshadowing here. You can feel Velefor is going to pull something out of his ass here (anyone have idea of what it may be? I have trouble imagining what he can really do here with Annatar present). Good job on that front by the way. What Armsmaster is doing seems like the good choice of action considering circumstances, but the atmosphere is still that of playing into opponents hand.
Now it's not really a big problem, it is the obvious brigde between what started the altercation and it's resolution. But on the other hand it is a bridge, with some clear lines, the details could be easily left to readers imaginations. As such it could well have been summarised, or replaced with interlude.
Both those options could obviously backfire if done incorrectly, resulting in loss of suspense. But some of that was lost regardless, as the action was really slow here, and even the subduing of thralls was more formality than something with any real chance of failing. In other words going around that could help along greatly.
The saving grace was skillfull piece of foreshadowing here. You can feel Velefor is going to pull something out of his ass here (anyone have idea of what it may be? I have trouble imagining what he can really do here with Annatar present). Good job on that front by the way. What Armsmaster is doing seems like the good choice of action considering circumstances, but the atmosphere is still that of playing into opponents hand.
Aeir/Number III
Unsustainable Gloom Engine
- Location
- America
Bet Armsy is compromised.
BungieONI
Seven gremlins in a trench coat
- Location
- Lickwidget
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I've been thinking that this entire time.
In fact the only people we can be sure are not compromised are Dragon, Annatar, and the Wards. The next set of folks who are likely to not be compromised are Fume, Piggot, and Miss Militia since Valefor was trying to get them and was countered by Annatar.
Anyone else is fair game. Plus no one using confirmation codes is getting to me.
- Location
- United Kingdom
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Honestly? I think you're being hard on yourself.
There's interaction between the Wards; there's still a rift between Vista, at least, and Dean. Amy is feeling guilty about her use of the ring and taking it from Taylor, whilst also feeling bad about not using it to its full effectiveness, Sophia is like, hair-trigger defensive of Taylor, since the Empire situation, I suppose?
And that's just the Wards, there's more with Armsmaster and so on. But I'm tired, so I'll leave it at that.
There's a lot of character stuff going on here, actually.
Serpentine
Dark Arts Enthusiast
- Location
- The Tower of Ghenjei
Wouldn't Narya have cleansed Armsmaster of Valefore's influence? Wait, nevermind, forgot it hasn't been confirmed if Taylor can cleanse the dormant part of his influence.
Last edited:
Lithos Maitreya
Character Witness
- Location
- United States
I forgot to crosspost this here. I unfortunately can't get Flicker 8.3 edited by Friday, so it'll drop on Monday instead.
Lithos Maitreya
Character Witness
- Location
- United States
Unfortunately, Flicker 8.3 needs more work than I have the energy to give it tonight. Short version, the fight scene at the start of the chapter is currently a dumpster fire.
There will be no chapter tomorrow. Flicker 8.3 will arrive sometime later this week. I apologize for fucking up the schedule. Final exams were last week.
There will be no chapter tomorrow. Flicker 8.3 will arrive sometime later this week. I apologize for fucking up the schedule. Final exams were last week.