I'm interested given that this is her response to the readers calling her out for becoming into a monster, what are the readers response to her saying this to them
...You know what, that's actually a fun idea. Mairon got to
rant at us. This wasn't an actual
discussion. And then the arguing was across forumites. Therefore, in defense of love, justice, and running commentary,
I,
am going,
to argue
with Mairon.
*cracks knuckles*
(I have no clue if doing this is allowed in any way, shape, or form. If it isn't, please be kind and notify me; this is meant to be a joke.)
Mairon said:
The light glared into my eyes as I sat there, in the center of attention. All eyes were on me. The dark beyond the invisible barrier was total, but I knew you were out there, watching me. As you always had been.
'Sup.
Speaking seriously, for the nontheists among us, imagine how stressful this has to be. Eru, and the audience to boot, is a constant panopticon. There is nothing Mairon can do, nothing he can
be, that will not immediately be judged by a silent but all-important audience. And he is a doubter. A doubter who never, ever, gets a straight response to his doubts or questions.
That's horrible.
Mairon said:
"So," I said. "It's been a year, right? For you, I mean. It's only been two months for me. Hell of a ride so far, isn't it?"
Six-ish months here. And yes, you seem to be trying your damnedest to overtake even Worm canon in escalation speed. Kind of an achievement. Taylor would be proud.
Mairon said:
A tight smile crossed my features. "I envy your detachment. It must be nice to be able to look in on all this from the outside."
It's the perk of existence as a being from the outer planes. Don't look at me like that,
you're the one who chose to let go of that point of view and volunteered to go down to Arda. You weren't
pushed out the door of the Timeless Halls.
Though I do feel for you for what must have been a harsh realization, that moment of understanding that this was
forever. That you had once been part of an infinitely large whole, an artist painting on the canvas of an entire multiverse before an audience of all that was and would ever be, and that you would never,
ever, get to be anything so grand again.
An eternity of waiting, with your greatest day right at its start. That's an incredible weight to bear.
Mairon said:
"It's amazing, isn't it?" I asked rhetorically. "That's all she was back then. An obstacle, and then a tool. I couldn't have predicted what she'd become. I never imagined I'd come to care for her the way I did. I certainly never imagined she'd end up falling for me."
It's a heady feeling, isn't it? To no longer just be Pygmalion, loving the image of their own mind given reality by creation, but to be
loved back. To be gazed upon by your own work, and
adored for having crafted it. It's the ultimate validation, in a way.
The thing is, it's supposed to be followed by a letting go of one's self-importance, and a focus on the well-being of one's children. So either you think your children are ashes and rust, which makes you a serious pessimist for a smith, or you are having a serious case of being way too self-absorbed to look after children yet.
You should have gone to Aulë. Aulë would not have laughed, ignored, or looked down on you. Aulë would have
understood.
Mairon said:
"And so much else has happened, too," I said, remembering. "There's the bank—remember the bank? I've almost forgotten it, but really a lot of things started then, didn't they? That's where things started to fall apart for Coil, that's where Sophia first started to respect me, and that's where things changed for Fume, Regent, and the other Undersiders. A lot of things that have happened since would have been very different if I hadn't been there at the bank that day."
Dude, you have, like,
no idea. That bank is
cursed. Nine chances out of ten it was built over ancient burial grounds.
...Shit, maybe once Ungoliant's merry crew began to rain in from the Void, Mandos and Manwë began to worry they might accidentally free Melkor, and they buried him under the bank instead. That'd explain everything.
Mairon said:
"And then there was Bakuda." I snorted. "Bakuda, that poor idiot, who thought that because she blew up a couple buildings and killed a few people that she was important. All she managed to do was get a couple balls rolling. I never really meant what I told her—that her legacy would just get folded into mine. That was just supposed to hurt her, to leave her writing in fruitless despair as she died. But I guess it's come true, hasn't it? No one really remembers her anymore. She freed Lung, gave me my first kill, made me paranoid about my dad, and made Emma a little easier for Sophia to topple… and that's about it, isn't it? Sure, I gave the Seven out in response to her, but she can't really take credit for that, can she? Even the devastation she wrought has been totally eclipsed by Leviathan."
And you're totally eclipsed by Manwë and Melkor and Eru. Yet for some reason, I don't see you stopping. I wonder why that is. Could it be...
could it be... that individuals only have
a limited point of view?!
...Nah clearly it's that the tiers above you don't exist.
Also shut up you literally thought you were important because you could forge cool bling. How about you come back to us once you start getting other results than ashes and rust and getting thrown over a cliff at the end?
Mairon said:
"That was a turning point," I said softly. "Vicky's death,"
Mairon I kind of respect you and am a great lover of meta debates but even I am not going to touch that one with a ten-foot pole with Iphannis glued onto the end.
Mairon said:
"The inkling that the Endbringers aren't what they appear…"
Shut up, Eärendil is okay, Eärendil is
just fine, Eärendil is
vacationing on the goddamn moon I swear to god--
Mairon said:
"Everything changed with Leviathan. Suddenly I wasn't just the girl with the magic Rings anymore. I was Annatar, who strove with the sea-god."
Mairon we need to talk about your understanding of what constitutes godhood.
Mairon said:
"And I wasn't the only one who transformed that day. Aeglos became Iphannis, and Amy became… well. Whatever she is now."
Is he going to get a clue?
Is he?
Mairon said:
"You know, she and I don't talk as often as we should," I mused, leaning back and looking away from you, up at the stars.
No fucking shit you don't fucking say, bring out the confetti and streamers Mairon is having a moment of self-awareness over here!
Mairon said:
"I sometimes wonder—does she still volunteer at the hospital? Where does she even live now? I know she doesn't talk to the Dallons anymore, but is she still in touch with the Pelhams? What are her goals, what does she want, now that Vicky is gone?"
It's almost like you pulled that one thing you keep projecting on your dad and dropped her out of sight out of mind like a sack of old potatoes the second you didn't need her instrument playing.
I wonder why that happened?
Mairon said:
"I should try to find out."
Ah, thinking about the consequences of one's actions, the bane of Worm protagonist existence...
Mairon said:
"But everything's changed since then, hasn't it?"
...Actually, thinking about it, no, no it hasn't?
Mairon said:
"Oracle's with the Empire now."
She was already a bitch.
Mairon said:
"The Merchants have been destroyed."
They were doing that themselves.
Mairon said:
"Lung has lost Oni Lee, and the ABB have been shrinking ever since."
Lung lost Oni Lee because
Oni Lee had been shrinking ever since. Old news.
Mairon said:
And then he disappeared because you got off on a wild bling chase, for all we know he's taken over the city by now.
Mairon said:
...Okay, granted, that one
was a change.
Mairon said:
"Suddenly the city is exploding."
Bakuda did it first and with better FX.
Mairon said:
"Everyone wants a piece, wants to carve out their little slice of the place."
I mean, yeah, but in the defense of mostly everyone they kind of live there?
Mairon said:
"It's almost as though something's pushing them, isn't it?"
Technically you're at the center and they're aiming inwards, so it's
pulling. Not pushing. As you should know, mister Pushed-Off-A-Cliff-By-A-Bunch-Of-Hobbits.
Mairon said:
"Subtly driving them to throw themselves at the enemy they least understand?"
I admire your boundless sense of grandstanding, but I'm pretty damn sure that's
Zion, not you.
Also, Arda is getting real tired of your fetish for setting fires so you can play fireman. Let the Balrogs go. Take up knitting. It's like that perfect midpoint between crafting and composing.
Mairon said:
"Poor fools. Heartbreaker's as good as dead, Coil is mine, and the rest will follow. It's only a matter of time now."
You mean like it was on Mount Doom? Still waiting on you to self-reflect on how the fuck you can have lost your One Ring and still be standing to talk about it, by the by. How's
that coming along?
Mairon said:
"But this isn't about me."
You make everything about you, by projecting your own doubts and flaws onto everyone. Every last word you say is
always about you.
Mairon said:
"I leaned forward, leaning on one of the armrests of my chair. "This is about you."
Pretty sure if it was it'd be a discussion rather than a monologue.
You're monologuing. It's
about you. I had to literally break the laws of literary rules and insert myself into the text to make it about us. I had to
make myself god to get in reach of your ears.
Talk about meta.
Mairon said:
"I'm sure a lot of you have doubts."
"I'm sure", says the doubting doubter who doubts.
Mairon said:
"I'm sure a lot of you are gritting your teeth and begging for me to be defeated."
We are mostly begging for you to get a clue. I'd rather you
didn't get defeated; that happened the last time, and all the world got to show for it was, well, Brockton Fucking Bay.
You could be truly great. You
were, once -- and it wasn't when you were standing atop a pile of ash and rust. This rolling down into soot in defiance of your father is below you. It's below all of us.
Mairon said:
"I'm sure many of you are recoiling in disgust at what I've been doing."
Nah man that's the sound of our heads hitting our desks mostly.
Mairon said:
"It must be nice to be able to convince yourselves that you're better. That there are limits, and lines we don't cross. I remember being that way, once. Well, twice." I laughed lightly again.
Third time's the charm?
...Man, how dense does one have to be, to require
three literal and highly cinematic divine interventions to notice that perhaps possibly eventually maybe god is still there? Tip to Eru, from one (momentary) god to another: your smiths are there to
shape metal. Not there to be
made of it. You might want to reorganize those atoms a bit before your next big symphony, your angels sink way too fast.
Mairon said:
"But come now. Imagine for a moment. Imagine that it was your father. Imagine that it was you that night, staring down this boy, this child who thought he could take away everything you cared about."
I mean, if we're
you in this hypothetical situation, then what we have is a moment of profound realization that perhaps
we shouldn't think we can take away everything people care about in front of their eyes, and that perhaps we shouldn't twist our fathers' words into what they don't mean? But that's us, I guess.
Mairon said:
"Imagine it was you, trapped in that foam, unable to move, unable to act, unable to help as Vista's—your friend's—Ring was stolen, and you were left with the knowledge that none of this would be happening to her if you hadn't given it to her in the first place."
See, that's the thing. For most of us, we'd
never have been there, because we wouldn't have given our vulnerable friends mind-bending artifacts. Because we actually value our friends
as sapient beings, not as tools, and so try to respect that sapience.
Mairon said:
"And yet," I murmured, "you can't regret giving it to her."
Yes you fucking can you bunch of overgrown spikes on a lump of coal get your wannabe divine ass down here so I can yell at you for being a jerkfuck to Little V
Mairon said:
"Because look at all she's done."
Like what, gone full evil twin of herself, without half of the accomplishments she got all by herself in canon? Such a feat. I'm so proud.
Mairon said:
"She's stood with you against Leviathan."
Taking human kids along to fend off Silmarils, yes, you should
really be proud of yourself there. There's no way this could have been a complete and utter catastrophe and left everybody and a half dead.
Mairon said:
"She's grown into the woman she wanted to be."
She's like twelve you moron
Mairon said:
"She has respect, she has power, she has strength."
Her Ring has respect, power and strength. What
Vista has is a band of metal welded to her finger into perpetuity lest she die of literal soul withering. I know you're a smith, and I fully sympathize with wanting all of the extra limbs and extra senses everywhere, but don't go Defiant on our asses just yet. Vista was
scared by transhumanism. She'd never want this to happen to her.
Mairon said:
"She and Histeya complement each other."
>_>
I feel that only the above smiley can possibly convey the full amount of the side-eyeing I am sending in your general direction.
Mairon said:
"So imagine yourself there, on that night, knowing that this is your fault, and knowing that the alternative is even worse."
You yourself just said that
you pulled them there
on purpose. The only reason the alternative is worse is because
you're actively making it worse, so you can then proceed to rationalize it as a justification for
your own actions.
This is circular reasoning. You are an Angel of the Lord.
This is below you.
Mairon said:
"Imagine looking into that boy's eyes and knowing that you are stronger than him. Imagine knowing that there's more of you than he can hope to contain, if only you stop holding back."
Then I stop holding back, and strike with
literally anything other than a lightning bolt followed by a miniature fire storm?
Mairon said:
"And ask yourself—why the fuck not?"
Because if I'm still you in this hypothetical situation, diregarding the fact that I'm no great fan of murder, then
my house is right there? Also my father? And the aforementioned friends? The fuck would I want to risk dropping heavenly wrath on
my house and father and friends?
Mairon what the fuck?
Mairon said:
"I defy you to judge me," I said.
Challenge accepted.
You're a teenager on a self-righteous power trip, because you think you have glimpsed weakness in your father and are trying to establish a sense of who you are in contrast to him. And you've been that teenager for, like, seven or eight millenia. I know this because I am an actual external observer who didn't trap herself inside Arda and then complain she could no longer see out of it, and so can literally go take a look at the sheets of the Ainulindalë to tell you that you're wrong. Take a page out of Ciara's book and sit your ass into therapy, you need to talk about those father issues.
There done.
Mairon said:
"I defy your righteous authority."
Yes. We've noticed. Now maybe
stop making the whole of Arda proxies for the anger you bear towards your father?
Mairon said:
"I accept the rulings of only one judge, and He abandoned me long ago."
How the fuck do you think you survived Mount Doom you dark spiny numbnut in denial?!
Mairon said:
"In His absence, I remain. And I will help in the only way I know how."
Mairon. Mairon my man. Mairon my bro. Mairon my Archangel of Being Really
Really Fucking Dense.
Arda didn't ask for your help.
Mairon said:
"God save us from the righteous,"
Damn straight, we need rescue from you over here!
Mairon said:
"God save us from their inaction."
That's the other thing about being literally sitting outside of the universe, you unparalleledly self-deluded hedgehog with a soot layer on top. You're
outside. You don't get to come in willy-nilly, because that
defeats the purpose.
Like, you know,
your dad.
Effing Mairon I STG.
