The Journal of Jane Doe: By ChickenBouillon
TW: Murder. Violence. Body Dysmorphia.
Entry 1:
I have a journal now.
I'm not too sure about what to put inside, but it's kind of nice. Having somewhere to store my thoughts.
..I could talk about school, or life. Or Darcy Myers. But I think I'm gonna talk about myself.
I think I've got powers. Superpowers or whatever.
When I'm mad, I can.. punch things really hard. Far beyond what should be expected of me.
I could use it, but honestly I'm just tired.
Superpowers or not, I'm still a loser. Maybe that'll never change. But at least it proves something. Maybe God hasn't forsaken me yet.
Entry 2:
Today was more of the usual.
I got away pretty nice. They just poured milk on my books. Mom was in a good mood too, so I didn't get hurt.
..I had a group project with Rei and Mona. God, they're so cool.
I wish I could be like them!
..I wish I could be anyone else really. Anyone else but me.
That's just wishful thinking though.
Entry 3:
I've been getting really hungry lately.
God, I feel kind of like a pig?
Like.. I eat and eat, but it's not really enough. Mom caught me ransacking the fridge last night, so she hit me really hard. She made sure not to touch my face though, so I didn't have to explain the bruises.
I'm just really hungry.
Somehow, I'm not getting any fatter. So that's what I'm proud of. I'm just skinny. That's something that I'm proud of. Being skinny.
Maybe I'll actually be pretty one day.
Entry 4:
Dear Journal, what do you think about superheroes?
I think they're.. pretty cool honestly.
If I was like.. that loved, I think it'd fix ninety percent of my problems.
I think?
Well, someone would probably say that's not true.
Anyway, Darcy was talking about how her parents hired a bunch of heroes from Powers. I bet she's really rich. No, I know she's really rich.
I can't even really hate her anymore? Hating her is like despising a hurricane. She's so much better than me that I feel like fighting back is unthinkable.
It is what it is.
Entry 5:
I haven't really thought about it, but I'm kind of invisible.
I don't really think anyone perceives me.
I used to feel like that's fine.
But for some reason, I've been feeling more annoyed by that lately.
I don't know why.
Entry 6:
Some things in this life are just not fair.
I think I realize that now, and somehow it really makes me upset. I thought that I couldn't hate Darcy, but nowadays my feelings for her are.. complicated. I should hate her, but I want to be her.
She has skin that's soft. Hair that flows. Her teeth are so pearly white. I want to take Darcy Myers and disassemble her until I can find out her secret.
But I was born as myself.
Can I really do it?
Entry 7:
I've been following her home lately.
Darcy, I mean.
I think she notices, because she's gotten a lot more scared and jittery.
It makes me feel strong for some reason.
Yeah. That's me.
I'll do something soon.
Entry 8:
I sent her a letter.
Now we wait.
I can feel it under my skin. Like a second me. Just waiting to be released.
I'm going to bloom soon. Just you watch.
Entry 9:
i did it
um
she fought back a bit. i just wrote a letter telling her to come to school at night if she wanted to know who's been following her home and she believed me. didnt even bring anyone.
shes pretty but shes not very smart so
it happened
i broke her. she tried to run but i was faster.
i grabbed her, and i tore at her skin. and it was soft and smelled like soap. and then i broke her in two. and she was screaming the whole time. and for some reason that just made me feel even better? i just ripped at her until she stopped screaming.
i felt hungry. my mouth was watering.
so i put bits of her into my mouth. just tore out chunks, bit by bit.
hmmmmmmmmm
dont know how to feel about this. i think im changing now. i can feel it.
but my life has been an entire string of "i cant do this" so the first time in my life, i can do something.
goodnight.
Entry 10:
I'm Darcy now apparently.
That's not metaphorical either. I woke up and I was wearing her appearance. Wearing her skin.
So apparently that's my metahuman power. I change into people I eat.
..I have a lot to think about right?
But I didn't really do anything wrong? If they don't appreciate their lives, they should give it to those less fortunate. Like me.
I'm not dumb of course. I'll probably get caught and they'll toss me into Wonderland or something. But I don't really care.
For these few months, I'll just keep living the way I want to. Finally being alive at last.
I think I'll throw away my name too. People call corpses they don't know the names of "Jane Doe" right?
Maybe that's me now.
Goodnight!
A/N: This is a rewrite of "My Journal" lol