Worm 65
How to Beat Fried Worms

Disclaimer: Worm is owned by Wildbow because nobody else wants it.

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Chapter 65: Excoriation
Interlude: Various
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"If this is a joke, it's not a funny one," a tired, frustrated woman said aloud. Her one eye glared across the small, round table towards a man in a green cloak and another man wearing a very revealing, very skin-tight blue and white costume.

"I wish it was, Rebecca," the man in the blue costume quietly admitted.

"I thought you had a handle on this... person," the man in the cloak accused. "We don't need wildcards, Keith. Not at-"

"I'm going to say this once, and only once, David." Keith's words were cold and his eyes, hidden behind a tiny domino mask, glowed through the obscuring material. "My last few days were absolute hell and I'm still working out how much of it can be blamed on you two. Check your ego before I facefuck you with a laser."

David did not respond, not initially, but the glow underneath of his hood did dim a bit.

"What could possibly be so bad, Keith," Rebecca snarked at him, shedding the veneer of maturity that she was forced to wear so often. "Do you have a ten year old Master that you can't actually do anything about? Because I do. That's been fun, a real-"

"Who sold Mama Mathers her power," Legend cut in, silencing Alexandria. It wasn't a question. "Because I would have liked to know that we were responsible for the largest rape cult in North America -before- that 'person' ripped the head off of the hydra!"

"The broker-" Rebecca started to say before a blast of light filled the small, quiet room and the woman was looking at a finger pointed directly at her remaining eye, glowing with enough light and heat that even she could feel it.

David made to stand up but even he quailed under the glare of his oldest remaining friend.

"...One of my Wards was in Mather's hands, Rebecca," Keith growled out. "We think the woman managed to subvert an entire god damned branch of the Protectorate- Your passion project, Rebecca! Do you remember that? This was your idea, your dream! So don't try and lie to me!"

The light in Keith's hands dimmed, slowly, before the man collapsed back into his seat.

"Are you even a hero at this point?" the man asked, his voice quiet and haggard.

"We are doing the best we can with what we have," David cut in, his voice quiet but serious. "There are greater things at stake than even you know of, Keith."

"...I was told that there was a solution to your powers draining, David," Keith said as he leaned forward, leaning his elbows on the table as he bowed his head. "And the person who knew refused to tell me what it was because of who you've become."

"Who told you?!" David demanded, slamming his hands on the table. "Did they say what it-"

"You already know who told me," Keith said, cutting Eidolon off. "He even referenced some of your... accidents, back in the early days. And he claimed that you were drinking vials, David."

"How did he know about-"

"Are you insane!?" Rebecca demanded, cutting David's words off entirely. "We have no idea if that's safe! Your agent-"

"I know what I'm doing!" David tersely shouted back. "They're helping! Especially when the Endbringers show up! I need every advantage I can get!"

Keith sighed and leaned back in his seat as his two oldest... fellow conspirators argued between themselves. Listening to them, shouting at each other in a rare moment where they didn't have to worry about outside ears listening in...

He learned more about what they'd been doing behind his back in the last five minutes than they'd admitted to him in twenty years.

And, he silently noted, neither of them answered his question.

Were they still heroes? Was he?

"Keith!" Rebecca's voice cut the man's musings off and he looked up, meeting her eye. "I still want an answer. Why is my butt the major focus of a bunch of online astrologers?"

Keith pursed his lips, one answer already on his mind. He wanted to say it.

He -really- wanted to say it.

The door of their small meeting room opening by itself and letting an older black woman in, one that Keith was starting to suspect may have some form of clinical sociopathy, provided a much-needed interruption.

"Good," Doctor Mother said, her flat eyes sliding across the trio. "You're all here. We have much to discuss."

"Such as?" David asked, equally thankful for the interruption.

"We have identified a blind spot," Doctor Mother said as she approached their table. Meanwhile, a projector melted out of the ceiling and flickered to life. It took a few seconds to focus before it resolved into an image of the moon. One with a short .gif that seemed to be repeating of an object slamming into the moon hard enough to form a new crater. "Currently, no Thinker assets have been able to make sense of this video. I believe we may be looking at something similar in strength to one of the Endbringers given the size of the impact crater and the following footage of whatever impacted the moon-"

The image did change, sliding down as Doctor Mother manipulated a remote, to show a continuation of something small and black flying out of the crater.

"-appears to have escaped the impact unharmed."

Keith did not sigh in frustration as the meeting got underway. Nor did he make it obvious when he subtly taped a tape recorder underneath of the table he and the rest of the triumvirate were sitting at.

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Director Piggot was not a happy woman.

But that's already been well established.

The current focus of her frustrations was thankfully elsewhere, however, so a significant number of people that she wasn't necessarily unhappy with were forced to deal with her and her intemperate mood.

"-even have a Mover ranking that high?" one of the capes she worked with asked. A young girl, actually, wearing a costume that was absolutely not fit for any kind of police work. "Space flight hasn't ever really been part of the rankings since, well, most powers stop working once you hit the stratosphere."

"Which is a very good question," Armsmaster admitted, the man standing next to a wall-screen in a meeting room in the PRT headquarters that was shaped almost like an auditorium. He manipulated a computer on a desk at the front of the room for a moment and a picture of the Earth, and the various layers of the atmosphere, was brought up. "Given that we do not know Apollyon's take-off time we can only make estimates as to his overall speed but, between the time he was initially banned on PHO to the time he released pictures of himself on the moon, we are looking at less than thirty hours of difference. Considering the PHO metadata confirmed the posts as having come from somewhere in Brockton Bay, that either means that he'd already taken those pictures in advance, which does not line up with our footage of Apollyon impacting the moon yesterday, or that he was able to get there and back within a thirty-hour timeframe."

"...That's half the time it took for Apollo to go one way," Dauntless said after a second. "What kind of distance are we looking at, here?"

"240,000 miles," Armsmaster immediately supplied. "Rounded up to the nearest ten thousand. Meaning that Apollyon was able to cover almost half a million miles in, at most, thirty hours."

"...Okay. That's fast," Clockblocker said. "And he survived an impact moving at those kinds of speeds? What's the Brute rating on that? Brute: Yes?"

"Brute 10," Miss Militia supplied. The woman was sitting near the front with a laptop of her own in front of her. "Thinkers are struggling to work around what seems to be a Stranger effect but our analysts tried to put together an estimate on the kinetic force of impact and most agree that Apollyon hit the moon with as much, or more, force than Behemoth usually uses when hitting Alexandria."

"Officially, his ratings have been moved up to Mover 11, Brute 10, Changer 5 and Stranger 5." Armsmaster explained as a picture switched over to the moon, and the crater, that Apollyon had left on it. "Unofficially, and this is an A-rank confidential piece of information, there is also a Trump 5. He has the capacity to gain copies of powers from defeated capes, though they seem to start off significantly weaker than the original and require some form of investment to reach strengths equaling their original."

"So... Lung?" Aegis asked. "Is that where he got the power to turn into... whatever he is?"

"No," Piggot said, fielding the question. "The timeline doesn't add up. He already had that ability before he disposed of the gang leader. According to our intelligence, that might actually be his 'base' form with his 'human' form being the Changer aspect. At this time, we still don't have enough details."

"Alright. So. Strategy?" one of the other kids asked.

Piggot was personally rather thankful that Shadow Stalker was not part of the meeting, actually. With the girl being prepare for reassignment to Texas, Shadow Stalker was actually being forced to sit down and go back through a lot of the training and preparatory material that they'd given her, that she'd scored poorly on, and that they hadn't bothered pushing the girl to do better on because they didn't have the time or resources to do so.

"Do not engage," Battery said, reading from her own computer. "With the powers and ratings Apollyon already has, as well as the risk of him potentially gaining more, fighting him is a risk beyond what we're equipped to handle. De-escalate if possible, otherwise flee if conflict seems inevitable. His current psych profile doesn't read as being hostile to heroes but he doesn't fight like a gang-member. Apollyon is noted as escalating towards lethal means significantly faster than what we're used to dealing with."

"Alright. So. Instead of a rage dragon we've got a murder dragon. How are we supposed to de-escalate if he likes jumping to murder?" Clockblocker asked. The boy was disrespectful but, Piggot would begrudgingly admit, he wasn't wrong.

"Apparently?" Assault asked as he snickered and sent something to Armsmaster. Something the gruff Tinker looked at, huffed, then put up on screen. It was an excerpt of Apollyon's post from the day before, put on PHO for all the world to see. And Assault had highlighted the last paragraph. "Pictures of Alexandria's butt will distract him."

"I mean..." Clockblocker mumbled as Battery smacked her husband. "They'd distract me, too."

Piggot sighed and deeply wished she had a pair of working kidneys.

Some problems just weren't worth being sober over.
 
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"Who sold Mama Mathers her power," Legend cut in, silencing Alexandria. It wasn't a question. "Because I would have liked to know that we were responsible for the largest rape cult in North America -before- that 'person' ripped the head off of the hydra!"

"The broker-" Rebecca started to say before a blast of light filled the small, quiet room and the woman was looking at a finger pointed directly at her remaining eye, glowing with enough light and heat that even she could feel it.
Alec: "You hit the 'rape cult' button. You shouldn't-a did that."
 
We have had murderhobo Alec for a while now, a lot of the major baddies are dead or shaking in their boots. Can we have troll Alec back for a while before he finishes the murder spree? He has proven to himself at least, there ARE people who are genuinely good guys. They are just held back by a wall of bad intel and politics. Help them out for a bit so there is some good guys left to handle the chaos when he gets done and goes home.
 
We have had murderhobo Alec for a while now, a lot of the major baddies are dead or shaking in their boots. Can we have troll Alec back for a while before he finishes the murder spree? He has proven to himself at least, there ARE people who are genuinely good guys. They are just held back by a wall of bad intel and politics. Help them out for a bit so there is some good guys left to handle the chaos when he gets done and goes home.
Agreed, please. Because you're reminding me how fucking depressing and hopeless base-Worm actually is. Something that isn't a mixture of awful, horrifying, and unpleasant... would be nice.
 
I finally realized what was twigging me out about Alex's foray into Worm.

If this wasn't Terra-tan's fault, I'd almost be willing to put something down on someone else again screwing with Alec like Minerva/Gaia did with FF7 with the goal to turn him in a 'normal' (re:apathetic murderhobo) Gamer.
 
Man, I love the reactions.
I admit, I'm suspect that Cauldron won't be bamboozled for too long, but it's still funny to watch them fumble it.

God, I want a 16(or more) cast meteor to finish off the Warrior.
 
I'd have such issues being in a world with Panacea in it.

I'd start with 'Please fix my kidneys ', but I am easily tempted by transhumanism.

Yes, please enhance my organs... And maybe an extra limb or a few more eyes and everyone really needs an extra mouth or two and...

I would definitely go full Transhuman the moment I could, it doesn't matter if It would be Admech Transhuman or something else. Anything that's superior to what I already have I'd take in a heartbeat.

Shame the main reason why there's so few Transhumans in worm is because tinkertech fails easily, though bio-tinker tech seems to be much more self sufficient.
 
Apparently?" Assault asked as he snickered and sent something to Armsmaster. Something the gruff Tinker looked at, huffed, then put up on screen. It was an excerpt of Apollyon's post from the day before, put on PHO for all the world to see. And Assault had highlighted the last paragraph. "Pictures of Alexandria's butt will distract him."

"I mean..." Clockblocker mumbled as Battery smacked her husband. "They'd distract me, too."
I think its more of him targeting a kick though
 
If this wasn't Terra-tan's fault, I'd almost be willing to put something down on someone else again screwing with Alec like Minerva/Gaia did with FF7 with the goal to turn him in a 'normal' (re:apathetic murderhobo) Gamer.
I thought it was a different understudy/fragment of Earth-chan Oversoul than his usual patron? The messages seemed a lot more ditzy and childish than the usual "slightly overwhelmed code monkey/office lady" tone, at least.
 
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Thanks for the chapter!
Go Legend! Honestly, when Rebecca refused to answer the Fallen question, I would have started blasting, and not stopped until both her eye sockets got lasers sent in them to see what happens
 
I'm thoroughly enjoying this.

In worm the murderhobo gamers are the ones that see the quickest benefit (or death). It's a self-sustaining growth cycle for a bit if you can avoid a few unfortunate pitfalls. Like dealing with a clogged toilet, gotta get some of that blockage flushed out of the system so the water can do good work. Too much blockage and the heroes can't put the troublemakers in prison which means everything stinks.

Slow safe progress makes sense unless you're already OP and hoping to mix in a culture victory. Alec doesn't want to hang around to change how everything works, he's the plumber with a snake auger getting paid on job completion. Destroy obstructions, point out further issues he's not being paid to deal with, and then a few best practice tips before he's out the door.
 
Honestly it might be genre bleed.
We saw a bit of it at the boss rush jump where everyone got affected by the anime-esque of the setting. With how murder happy the worm setting is, and how integrated Alec is, it hits him stronger than the other settings he goes into.
 

I still wanna know were this came from, I cant find anything about Eidolon vaporizing thieves

taped a tape recorder underneath of the table he and the rest of the triumvirate were sitting at.

....wait wouldnt Contessa immediately zero on that? Pretty sure legend aint a blindspot, I know she isnt there but it shouldnt matter with the path.

Unless she is letting it happen?
 
....wait wouldnt Contessa immediately zero on that? Pretty sure legend aint a blindspot, I know she isnt there but it shouldnt matter with the path.

Unless she is letting it happen?
She could also be running bad Paths. She's notorious for it, after all.

"Path to ensuring that nobody who isn't privy to knowledge of Cauldron is eavesdropping" would work...most of the time. Less so with Legend, since he's actually part of Cauldron.

"Who sold Mama Mathers her power," Legend cut in, silencing Alexandria. It wasn't a question. "Because I would have liked to know that we were responsible for the largest rape cult in North America -before- that 'person' ripped the head off of the hydra!"
Does Legend not consider Al a person? I mean, he's fully sapient and biological.

Why is Legend being sarcastic about his personhood?
 
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In the main story, he is way too passive, now in this one, he is a straight up murder hobo. Somewhere in the middle would be nice.
As far as I can remember, in this story he has yet to kill anyone who didn't already have a body count with multiple digits, and climbing.

They might not have been legally sanctioned killings, but I hesitate to label them as murder. The only reason they weren't judicially sanctioned, after all, is Cauldron meddling.
 
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As far as I can remember, in this story he has yet to kill anyone who didn't already have a body count with multiple digits, and climbing.

They might not have been legally sanctioned killings, but I hesitate to label them as murder. The only reason they weren't judicially sanctioned, after all, is Cauldron meddling.


Oh don't get me wrong, I fully approve of him killing the bastards. I'm just saying he went from actively ignoring people trying to kill him, and spending all his time over preparing, to hunting and killing every evil person he can think of. It was a radical shift, and leans a little far. He normally tries to work with the genuine good guys, this time he ignores them and goes straight to hunting the bad guys. Legend was deceived by people he trusted, most of the Brockton prt are good people held back by red tape.
 
He normally tries to work with the genuine good guys, this time he ignores them and goes straight to hunting the bad guys. Legend was deceived by people he trusted, most of the Brockton prt are good people held back by red tape.
He's fully aware of how Worm is, and knows that the genuine good guys can't work with him if he tries to work with them, because of all the red tape.

In DC he can afford to spend all his time over-preparing, he's surrounded by heroes that actually are up to the task at hand. They can win without relying on the golden BB.

The world of Worm doesn't have the time for him to do that. He's not surrounded by heroes who can save the day without him. Not only are they not allowed to, but they couldn't even if they were.
 
She could also be running bad Paths. She's notorious for it, after all.

"Path to ensuring that nobody who isn't privy to knowledge of Cauldron is eavesdropping" would work...most of the time. Less so with Legend, since he's actually part of Cauldron.


Does Legend not consider Al a person? I mean, he's fully sapient and biological.

Why is Legend being sarcastic about his personhood?

I mean, id figure she has a path related to Cauldron secrets and stuff, and since Lagend isnt a blind spot he'd show up in the path depending on what he does with the tape.

Maybe they will decide to kill him like they did for Alec for some reason instead if trying anything else first. (That part still felt very forced to me)

Oh don't get me wrong, I fully approve of him killing the bastards. I'm just saying he went from actively ignoring people trying to kill him, and spending all his time over preparing, to hunting and killing every evil person he can think of. It was a radical shift, and leans a little far. He normally tries to work with the genuine good guys, this time he ignores them and goes straight to hunting the bad guys. Legend was deceived by people he trusted, most of the Brockton prt are good people held back by red tape.

Alec is a bit odd here, he immidiatly resorted into killing people with the whole pie thing then kept escalating like he was Taylor. His powers dont need him to kill people tho he still does it.

Granted they did deserve it but killing most of em wasnt really neccesary.

Cauldron made it worse again by trying to kill him for unknown reasons that I cannot comprehend. Maybe if they werent enemies it would be too easy for Alec to win or smt since he could have likely reasoned with them if he tried, they ARE very desperate after all.
 
He's fully aware of how Worm is, and knows that the genuine good guys can't work with him if he tries to work with them, because of all the red tape.

In DC he can afford to spend all his time over-preparing, he's surrounded by heroes that actually are up to the task at hand. They can win without relying on the golden BB.

The world of Worm doesn't have the time for him to do that. He's not surrounded by heroes who can save the day without him. Not only are they not allowed to, but they couldn't even if they were.



He could have easily exposed the corruption going on and got rid of most of the red tape, then worked with the genuine heroes to get the job done. Instead he is dropping hints at the corruption and killing everyone himself. It's a huge shift in methods. And there are actually a huge number of heroes that actually mean well, it's just that two out of three of the heavy hitters are corrupt as hell. But Legend is a good dude who was genuinely horrified when Alex told him the truth and immediately moved to verify it. Most of the prt are good people, with pockets of assholes. Snip them out and they can get to work.
 
Piggot was personally rather thankful that Shadow Stalker was not part of the meeting, actually.

Why was Piggot so thankful Shadow Stalker wasn't part of the meeting? Is it because Sophia doesn't have anything constructive to say and would belittle other meeting participants?

Is it because Sophia is so psychotically aggressive that she'd seriously consider attacking Apollyon?

Scene #1:
Sophia: "Meh, I can take him."
[later]
Alec: "And I took that personally."

OR

Scene #2:
Sophia: (fires phased crossbow bolt)
Alec: (isn't even scratched by bolt)
Alec: :rage: "THOU HAS CHOSEN POORLY!!!"
Sophia: :o :o :o ?!?!

*
 
I'd have such issues being in a world with Panacea in it.

I'd start with 'Please fix my kidneys ', but I am easily tempted by transhumanism.

Yes, please enhance my organs... And maybe an extra limb or a few more eyes and everyone really needs an extra mouth or two and...
Panacea is deliberately hiding that aspect of her power because Piggot has reasons to hate biotinkers.
Why was Piggot so thankful Shadow Stalker wasn't part of the meeting? Is it because Sophia doesn't have anything constructive to say and would belittle other meeting participants?
When were the PRT made aware of Shadow Stalker's misdeeds?
 
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