I cant believe I'm doing this....but... Challenge Accepted.
Guild Duties or My Assassination Classroom
The Guild, what can be said about the Guild? To many its considered the Boogeyman of the world, a hidden force that lurks in the shadows of life. Not much is known of the enigmatic organization, its members, high ranking officials or even its leader are all wrapped in mysteries and rumors, and many of said rumors don't exactly paint a pretty picture... Nonetheless, The Guild has made its name with the various assassins under its employment, many which were raised and trained from an early age, with the express purpose of furthering The Guild's agenda, whatever it may be. Now you may ask yourself, How does this organization train its recruits? Well, lets take a gander at the past of some very familiar figures and find out.
*Beep* *Beep* *Attention all guild cadets, it is now 6:00 am, please wake up and make your way to the cafeteria, for morning nutrition. Do not be late*
The sound of the morning alarm was the first thing I noticed when I waked up, the second thing I noticed was many of the other beds in the room were already empty many of the other recruits having already finished preparing and left for the cafeteria, the third thing though? A pair of eyes staring at me inches from my face. "About time you woke up, c'mon Rei we don't want to be late" said the girl who slept in the bed next to mine, Akemi. "I'm up, I'm up". Stretching, I quickly made sure to make myself presentable before following my fellow trainee for morning breakfast. From what I've learned since coming here, The Guild is rather strict and makes sure to bestow a proper work etiquete on all of its members, I'm not exactly at the level of some of the senior members that are capable of meticulously scheduling their time a week in advance, but I think I'm starting to get a hang of it. Only need to spread the minutes alongside my necces- "Earth to Rei, were here" Exclaimed Akemi.
Blinking I noticed we had already made it to the cafeteria and were quickly moving in line to receive our morning MRE's as we neared the front I saw what was being served. fuck... Its Veggie Omelets. Hissing under my breath, I quickly cool my features before grabbing "breakfast" (She does not noticed the slight look of pity the server gives her as she leaves) and following Akemi to a secluded table in the corner of the cafeteria, whatever you want to say about the guild, they always did prioritized nutrition over flavor... or appearance. "How do they even eat this?, mumbled Akemi with a look of morbid curiosity. I shrug, "Glyphs know I Guess, maybe there's a trick to it", I mused in a low voice as I tackled the "food" as well.
"Attention, Commander on Board!
My back goes ramrod straight as I take a quick glance at one the Higher Ranked Assassins in the Guild. I don't know his name, but if a High Ranker has decided to visit the rookie quarter of the Guild, it usually means something is going to happen soon. The man slowly looks around the assembled trainees, "Hmm.. good. As you're all here we can begin this mornings announcement. As you all know you are the newest members of the guild and as such you are expected to do jobs that will benefit the organization, but as you're all just trainees, you wont exactly survive even the most meager of tasks around here. Its because of these facts that I've been assigned here to begin you're training to prepare all of you to become valuable members of the Guild. You have 30 minutes to finish you're food and meet me at Training Ground Omega. Don't be late".
With that announcement made he soon leaves the cafeteria. I slowly move my head and stare at Akemi, "well now...things just got interesting" I continue to stare at my friend as she, in my opinion, undersells the current situation.
*30 minutes later*
"Good, at least you're all capable of following orders" exclaims the Guild member, who later I find out is Named Agent SPYRAL, named after his proficiency in boxing and especially the corkscrew punch, apparently the Agent is as capable of somehow bending his body to an incredible degree, so much so that he can nearly turn a full 360 degrees without snapping his spine, which leads to some devastating punches in the ring or in the field.
"As trainees you are all at the absolute bottom of the barrel. In the following months I and some other Members will beat the necessary lessons into your flesh. Stealth, Tracking, Weapon Maintenance, Physical condition, profiling, identifying foreign substances, situational awareness, how to wrestle a Grisly Bear Hopped on fire Glyphs *Do WHAT? mumbled a distant trainee* the works, and did I stutter Number 34? No? Then be quiet and listen". Taking note of the suddenly VERY pale trainee, he continues. "I will not lie to you, this training will be difficult, you will be hurt, you will scream, you will wonder if future recruits will suffer as well (in the not so distant future a dead eye gamer girl sneezes), you will wonder how the human body can contort in such ways while staying alive and above all else? You. will. DESPISE US, by the end of it. But I can guarantee, that you will become something greater than what you currently are. Now, are you ready? Then lets begin".
And with those words.... began HELL.
Stage 1: Flexibility and reflex training
"A Guild member needs to be flexible, they need to be able to contort, bend and straighten at a moments notice. Even a second of slowness can be the difference between life and death, so as we stretch your muscles we have to make sure you are all capable of contorting and dodging in all possible angles. ~Make sure not to fall~". SPYRAL says as he stares at all the trainees doing various exercises to maximize the flexibility and reflexes. Some students are in mats doing stretches, others are in front of rubber ball launcher practicing their dodging, others are on top of poles practicing their balance as other members shoot rubber bullets at them and some of the more talented members (Read Unlucky idiots) have their legs and feet bound as a senior member practices their sword swings next to them, both sides have simple instructions, don't get hit and swing as hard as you can.
Guess where our two protagonist are?
Stage 2: Stealth, situational awareness and Tracking:
"On certain occasions we are tasked with shadowing a target or discovering the whereabouts of certain individuals. If you are to survive you need to be able to cover your tracks and discovering the tracks of others, those that cant not not are in a for very short trip to the grave. Some of you will excel, some of you... not so much". SPYRAL says as he Stares at the assorted recruits training. One third of the trainees are shadowing another third as they do everything in the power to throw off their pursuers, the final third are in elevated platforms either taking notes or taking potshots at the other two groups, alerting both sides when the other is near.
*In a corner of the indoor facility a Disgruntled Rei Screams in frustration: AKEMI, WHERE ARE YOU! Not knowing that her scheming friend skipped the entire exercise and is taking a nap in a hidden corner of the building. Akemi somehow gained extra points for that stunt.*
Stage 3: Weapons, poisons and You!
"Weapons are one of the many tools used in our arsenal. Knifes, guns, glyphs, spells, bombs, poison and even our own hands are all useful tools to achieve our goals. Make sure to be knowledgeable of your tools, maintain them well or you may just end up in a situation where you need them and then *snap* they break. You have to be careful With you- WHAT THE? Trainee Kaneko how the hell did you break that computer? You barely touched it! Wait, WAIT *BOOM*".
*We see various trainees working with their chosen weapons, until a explosion in the corner of the room grabs the attention of everyone involved. Akemi looks slightly ashamed as the computer she was using to search for a weapon to work with suddenly bluescreens and blows up*
Stage 4: Guild Techni-
(App, app, app! Stopping you right there SPYRAL, those are a bit to advanced for them, wait till the training is done)
Step ?: The End
"Hmm, well Ill be damned you all made it. *Damn It, I owe Hanzo 50 bucks* Ahem, Very good! After all these months, I can safely say you are all ready to begin fieldwork! Now do not misunderstand you are only at the bare minimum where The Guild expects you to be, make sure to take missions so you can raise your rank and earn greater standing in the Guild. Information, techniques and more will be accesible to you once you reach a certain rank, so make sure to work hard!" The voice of SPYRAL bellows, as he observes the class he has taught. "One last thing; Some of you may end up working with other higher ranking members of The Guild, make sure to be respectful and learn as much of them as you can, it will help you reach greater heights than what you would alone, that is all. Dismissed!"
And with those words the instructor leaves the room. "Heh, after all that and were only in the starting line. I wonder what comes next" says Akemi next to you. 'Hmm... what indeed..' you murmur quietly. "Agent Kaneko and Agent Maruki" you're with me! A voice claims from one the doors of the facility, as you and Akemi turned towards the voice that you will soon associate with your mentor, you wonder what the future will bring.
There we go, I hope this works for the Medium bounty @MrKermie
I was planning on making this omake with a parody of "Make a man out of you" but, I was already like at 900 words before I realized I hadn't done that and it wouldn't really flow well, that and I'm tone deaf and suck at lyrics. Leaving this here, since I'm about to start a college class, see ya everyone!
