Confused Jackie Chan and Facepalming Picard Counter
All Instances of Confused Jackie Chan & Facepalming Picard



Total Confused Jackie Chan Tally: XXI

1D100 = 6+25+5+10-15 = 31 (The heck? :jackiechan: )
1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat!Fail! 7 (Why do I even bother... :jackiechan:)
1D3+3 = 3+3 => 6! ( :jackiechan: )
:jackiechan: Bro, at this point, the dice just have a mind of their own. And no one can convince me otherwise.
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = Nat! 97+20+10-10-15 => Nat!Crit! 87 ( :jackiechan: What is going on?!)
1D100 = Nat! 1+15+15-20 => Nat!Fail! 11 ( :jackiechan: THREE NAT ONES?!?!?!)
1D100 = 6+20 => 26 ( :jackiechan: How?! Why?!)
1D100 = 21-15-10-5+10+5 => 6 ( :jackiechan: If you had gotten a Crit Fail here, I swear again–)
1D100 = Nat! 95+10+10-10 => Nat!Crit! 105 ( :jackiechan: This was not part of the plan!! How the heck–)
1D100 = Nat! 100+20+15+10-10 => Nat!Crit! 135 ( :jackiechan: Dilliam Wuke's having a stronk... call a Dukulance... :facepalm: )
87+15+15+30-20-10 =Art!Crit! 117 ( :jackiechan: Da heck?!)
1D100 = 85+15+30-10 => Art!Crit! 120 ( :jackiechan: What is this rollercoaster nonsense?!)
1D100 = 19+10+10+5 => 44 (Whu–?! :jackiechan: )
3D2000 = 1996+1984+855 => 4835 ( :jackiechan: Really?!)
1D100 = Nat!100+20+10+5+5+5 => Nat!Crit! 145 ( :jackiechan: Not again... Not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = 87+10 => Art!Crit! 97 ( :jackiechan: No no no no no no... Wait wait wait wait... WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT)
1D100 = Nat! 1+10-10 => Nat!Fail! 1 ( :jackiechan: The hell?!)
1D100 = Nat! 5+10-10-5 => Nat!Fail! 0 ( :jackiechan: Not again, not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = Nat! 98+10+5 => Nat!Crit! 113 (Oh, for– :jackiechan: )
1D100 = 91-5+5 => Art!Crit! 96 ( :jackiechan: Why are my dice like this?)

|==================================|

Total Facepalming Picard Tally: XIX

1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat Crit! 7 ( :facepalm: ...of course.)
1D100 = Nat! 96+25+15+10+5 = Nat!Crit! 151 ( :facepalm: Oh, screw off.)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20-15-10 => Neg!Fail! -4 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = 11+15+15-20 => 21 ( :facepalm: Can anything be normal in my quest?)
1D100 = 85+15+10-15 => Art!Crit! 95 ( :facepalm: I'm done... I've had enough of this.)
1D100 = Nat! 99+10+5 => Nat! Crit! 114 ( :facepalm: Of course, why wouldn't this happen?)
1D100 = 94+15+10+5 => Art!Crit! 129 ( :facepalm: If you had gotten a Nat Crit, I swear...)
1D100 = Nat! 100+20+15+10-10 => Nat!Crit! 135 ( :jackiechan: Dilliam Wuke's having a stronk... call a Dukulance... :facepalm: )
1D100 = 27-5-15-15-30+20+25 => 7 ( :facepalm: Well, at least it's not a crit fail...)
...Why do I do this to myself? :facepalm:
1D100 = 93+10+5 => Art!Crit! 108 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = 89+10 => Art!Crit! 99 (Of course... :facepalm: )
1D100 = Nat!100+20+10+5+5+5 => Nat!Crit! 145 ( :jackiechan: Not again... Not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = Nat!100+20 => (Autopass!) Nat!Crit! 120 ( :facepalm: If you'll all excuse me for one sec...)
1D100 = Nat! 5+10-10-5 => Nat!Fail! 0 ( :jackiechan: Not again, not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = 19-10-10+10 = 9 ( :facepalm: Of course, what else would I expect?)
1D100 = Nat! 95-10-5+10 => Nat!Crit! 90 ( :facepalm: Bipolar dice much?)



@Randomnerd, thank you for the idea.
 
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I think the first thing we should write is a proper manual for soldiering for the continental army, we definitely have the talent for this.
 
I think the first thing we should write is a proper manual for soldiering for the continental army, we definitely have the talent for this.
The problem with that is simple… we don't have the experience with bayonet fighting and that was why von stebuan was so damn key during Valley Forge.

He didn't just drill the continental army into shape with maneuvers and discipline… he made sure they were compatent with a weapon many never got trained in before then.
 
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Ok at least we are starting to do damage control over our relationship with fellow commanding officers and commander in chief George Washington. We can still fix the relationship problems if we keep it up like this, though let's not jinx it like the previous time when the previous plan before this one was implemented. After all we won't be lucky all the time and I have a feeling that after the siege of Boston, we are going to be key in order to Unite the American colonies into one United front. After all a famous Quote from a famous man said "United we stand, Divided we Fall"
 
To be clear, you only get to choose one. I have a list of potential candidates you can pick from.

Then our choice is gonna be even more important. Depending on what they are skilled at could influence our decision. Examples being them being very good at Stewardship which makes those actions easier or could go with a more martial pick to help make our plans a reality.
 
Interlude – Right Hand, Left Hand
"...I am doing the best I can,
To get the people that I need,
I'm asking you to be my right hand man!
I know it's a lot to ask..."
–George Washington, Hamilton: An American Musical



August 11, 1775
Outskirts of Boston, Massachusetts.


Jonathan Halbert had never thought he would ever say, let alone think, the following sentence, but the blasphemous words left his mouth nonetheless.

"You shouldn't have done this much work!"

Lt. Colonel Hawkins, the highest ranking officer in the regiment besides Halbert himself, chuckled at Halbert's surprise. "You asked for a list, sir, and we've given you one."

"How on earth am I supposed to read all of this," Halbert asked incredulously.

"You're the smartest one here, sir," Major Wheeler, the youngest of his battalion commanders, grinned. "We are sure you shall find a solution."

Halbert groaned as he grabbed the first set of papers. He was in for a long night.



Aides are Hero Units who can help you with Actions or who can provide extra actions. They give you two options each turn: you can either assign them to help with a certain Action or have them give an extra Action. If you choose the former, they will provide half of their Stat Points as a Bonus towards that corresponding Action. For example, an Aide with 10 Martial provides a +5 Bonus to a Martial Action. If you choose the latter, the Aide will have all of his independent Bonuses applied to that Action... but he gains none of the Bonuses that Halbert has through inherent abilities or Bonuses earned through omakes. So be careful when doing this.



Wilbur Gould Sutton

Birthplace: Lexington, Virginia
Birthdate: April 1, 1748
Current Age: 27 years old
Appearance: A tall and lanky man with wavy brown hair, a handsome face even a man would kiss, and a set of bifocals framing his sultry hazel eyes.
Short Biography: A hopeless romantic and struggling playwright and musician, Wilbur managed to gain more traction when he began to write patriotic songs and pamphlets decrying British tyranny. Although initially doing so merely to make a living, Wilbur found himself transformed into a genuine patriot willing to give all for the cause. Alas, as he quickly found out when he joined a regiment as a common soldier, he was more of a lover boy than a soldier boy.

Stats:

Martial – 6 => 6
Diplomacy – 19+3+2-3+4 => 25
Stewardship – 5+3 => 8
Intrigue – 16+1+3-4 => 16
Learning – 16+2 => 18
Prowess – 6+1 => 7


Traits:

Silver-Tongued Fox: – Your words are honey to the ears, and your writing paints a portrait better than Da Vinci. You are easily able to twist and bend what you say into a form people want to hear. (1/4 of your Intrigue is added to Diplomacy. +5 Relations with all people fighting on your side.)

Gregarious – You live and breathe to socialize. (+3 Diplomacy, +1 Intrigue)

Just – You know what is right and wrong and are stalwart in your convictions. (+3 Stewardship, +2 Learning and Diplomacy, -4 Intrigue)

Deceitful – No one can ever accuse you of being honest. (+3 Intrigue, +1 Prowess, -3 Diplomacy)

Lustful – You're a lover boy and sequel disaster through and through. (+2 Intrigue, -2 Diplomacy, and a chance to start a duel with an incensed husband every two Turns.)

Skills:

Social Manipulation – You are skilled at convincing people, be they single persons or multiple masses, to your point of view. Be it through honest means or deceitful half-truths. (+10 to all rolls when speaking to anyone with a write-in speech.)

Writing: You are skilled in the art of writing, your words seemingly written with silver ink. (+10 to all Diplomacy Actions that involve Writing.)

Propaganda: You are skilled in the art of creating and disseminating propaganda. (+10 to all Actions that involve propaganda of some kind.)

Political Theory (Liberalism) – You believe in liberal policies and are able and willing to argue for and convince others of their Merit. (When working to convince someone of Liberal Merit, gain +5 to all rolls, When attempting to work on policy on Liberal Principles, gain a +10 to all rolls. If you are ever elected in a public office in the United States and have the ability to shape policy, you will lower the DC needed to pass policy.)

|==================================|

Erik Hammerstein

Birthplace: Kittery, Massachusetts (In an area that would be turned into the state of Maine.)
Birthdate: January 24, 1757
Current Age: 18 years old
Appearance: A young man with cold, calculating eyes, a seemingly eternal dour appearance, and a sword scar across his cheek.
Short Biography: Erik was born to a family of a long lineage–its roots traceable back to the old times of the Holy Roman Empire–in which were great expectations built of following the family line of being part of the military. Whether that be part of a Lord's army, a militia group, or mercenaries, any military position is a great boon to his family's eyes. It is from this that there exists a long storage of family records and works of literature that details life as a soldier, commander, and leader... until one day, when Erik's great grandfather saw opportunities to live a new life in the Thirteen Colonies, and a new way to live a more peaceful life. Erik aims to make his family and its history proud of him.

Stats:

Martial – 18+2+1-1 => 20
Diplomacy – 5+3+1-3-1 => 5
Stewardship – 9+1-1 => 9
Intrigue – 7+1+2-3-1 => 6
Learning – 17+1-1 => 17
Prowess – 11+1+2 => 14


Traits:

Soldier Boy – You come from a long line of soldiers, each man in your family having served in an army some way or another. Now, your ancestors look upon you to continue their legacy. (Gain a free Reroll during all Battle Turns. Gain a Bonus to all Rolls during Battle Turns that is equal to your Learning Stat.)

Honest – You are a paragon of truth. (+3 Diplomacy, -3 Intrigue)

Diligent – You are a hard worker and make what work you do count. (+1 for all Stats, +1 Action per turn)

Callous – You can't seem to find a place in your heart to care for others or find your heart at all. ( +2 Intrigue, -1 Martial, -3 Diplomacy)

Single-Minded – You are focused on soldiering above all else to the deteument of everything else. (+2 Martial and Prowess, -1 to all other Stats.)

Skills:

Riflemanship: You understand the use and maintenance of a rifle. (+10 to Prowess Rolls when using a rifle.)

Swordsmanship – You know how to use a sword and various fighting styles. (+10 to Prowess Rolls when using a sword.)

Infantry Command: You are trained in commanding infantry and how best to use them. (+10 to Martial and Battle Rolls involved with or when commanding infantry.)

Artillery: You understand the use of artillery and its value in battle. (+10 to Martial and Battle Rolls involved with or when commanding artillery.)

|==================================|

Thomas "Tommy" Navarre

Birthplace: Boston, Massachusetts
Birthdate: July 4, 1759
Current Age: 16 years old
Appearance: A tall and strapping young lad for his age, Tommy has thick blonde hair and blue eyes that promise both violence and tomfoolery. His most prized possession is a sword he stole from a British officer.
Short Biography: Orphaned from birth and cast to the streets, Thomas was determined to scrape his way out of the dirt no matter how long it took or whatever it took. During the Siege of Boston, he orchestrated an escape from the city, bringing ten women and children with him. He then decided to join up with the local soldiers in order to give the British some more kicks to the groin. He is noted for his reckless bravery and skill in combat.

Stats:

Martial – 16+2 => 18
Diplomacy – 12+3+1-4-2 => 10
Stewardship – 2
Intrigue – 17-2-4+6 => 17
Learning – 7
Prowess – 20+2-2+4+6 => 30


Traits:

The Street Urchin – You are a dreg abandoned by society, a child forced to do anything he could to survive on the streets of Boston. And by God, did you survive. (1/3 of your Martial is added to both Intrigue and Prowess. +15 to Battle and Prowess Rolls when using unconventional or dirty tactics.)

Brave – You are utterly fearless on most occasions; and even when you aren't, you soldier on anyway. (+2 Martial and Prowess, +1 Diplomacy)

Kind – You always find it in your heart to help out your fellow man. (+3 Diplomacy, -2 Intrigue and Prowess)

Wrathful – You are quick to anger and slow to calm down. (+4 Prowess, -4 Diplomacy and Intrigue)

Coarse Tongue: You have the mouth of a sailor, and you alienate most people with it. (-2 Diplomacy)

Skills:

Swordsmanship – You know how to use a sword and various fighting styles. (+10 to Prowess Rolls when using a sword.)

Criminal Networking – You are adept in forging ties with the criminal underworld. (+10 to Intrigue Rolls when doing anything criminal.)

Spycraft: You are skilled in the matter of spying and spycraft. You... hey, where did you go? (+10 to Intrigue Actions that involve espionage and scouting.)

Unarmed – You know how to fight without any weapons at all, using only your body to fight. (+10 to Prowess Rolls when using no weapons.)

|==================================|

Royce Dillingham

Birthplace: Boston, Massachusetts
Birthdate: February 2, 1753
Current Age: 22 years old
Appearance: A
Short Biography: A former printer's apprentice, Dillingham had been part of the crowd at the Boston Massacre and has been radicalized into the most zealous of Patriots, wanting freedom above all else and at any cost. He was one of the first to volunteer when the cry for volunteers came to defend the Colonies.

Stats:

Martial – 6+2 => 8
Diplomacy – 17+3+1-4 => 17
Stewardship – 4-2 => 2
Intrigue – 19+1-4-2 => 14
Learning – 9 => 9
Prowess – 17+2+2 => 21


Traits:

Radical Patriot – Above all else, you hate the British with a fiery passion. No quarter must be given to tyrants and murderers.
(+25 to all Actions that are antagonistic to the British, and -25 to all Actions that are friendly or neutral to the British. All Relationships with British are set to 0.)

Brave – You are utterly fearless on most occasions; and even when you aren't, you soldier on anyway. (+2 Martial and Prowess, +1 Diplomacy)

Gregarious – You live and breathe to socialize. (+3 Diplomacy, +1 Intrigue)

Impulsive – You do not think before you act. (+2 Prowess, -2 Intrigue and Stewardship)

Wrathful – You are quick to anger and slow to calm down. (+4 Prowess, -4 Diplomacy and Intrigue)

Skills:

Propaganda: You are skilled in the art of creating and disseminating propaganda. (+10 to all Actions that involve propaganda of some kind.)

Unarmed – You know how to fight without any weapons at all, using only your body to fight. (+10 to Prowess Rolls when using no weapons.)

Spycraft: You are skilled in the matter of spying and spycraft. You... hey, where did you go? (+10 to Intrigue Actions that involve espionage and scouting.)

Writing: You are skilled in the art of writing, your words seemingly written with silver ink. (+10 to all Diplomacy Actions that involve Writing.)

|==================================|

Sampson Christopher Nixon

Birthplace: Somewhere in the Ohio River Valley
Birthdate: October 12, 1745
Current Age: 29 years old
Appearance: A somewhat short man with rough stubble and black hair, with limbs built for reading and writing instead of fighting.
Short Biography: Born to a hunter and fur trader that moved to Massachusetts some time afer Sampson's birth, the young man was the first in his family to attend a university, graduating at the top of his class. When the war broke out, he secretly joined a regiment against his Royalist family's wishes.

Stats:

Martial – 14+5-2 => 17
Diplomacy – 19-3+3+2-1 => 20
Stewardship – 19 => 19
Intrigue – 2-2-3 => -3
Learning – 20+2 => 22
Prowess – 7-2 => 5


Traits:

The Student of History – Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. You have determined to not fall into that gaping pit. (1/4 Learning is added to Martial. +15 to Learning Actions related to the military.)

Calm – You are slow to anger and able to keep your cool. (+2 Diplomacy, +2 Learning)

Honest – You are a paragon of truth. (+3 Diplomacy, -3 Intrigue)

Shy – You'd rather curl up inside a little shell than talk to others. (-3 Diplomacy, -2 Intrigue)

Craven – You run screaming at the first sign of danger. (-2 Martial and Prowess, -1 Diplomacy)

Skills:

Geography – You are skilled in geography. (+10 to Rolls involving maps and surveying the land.)

History – You are knowledgeable in all things historical. (+10 to Learning Actions that involve history.)

Grand Strategy: You are trained in military grand strategic thinking. While tactics win battles, strategies win campaigns. (+10 to all Martial Actions that involve grand strategy.)

Logistics: You are trained in military and state logistics. While strategies win campaigns, logistics win wars. (+10 to Stewardship Actions that involve supplies and the military.)

|==================================|

Who do you pick as your aide-de-camp? (Should you be put in charge of even bigger formations such as brigades and armies, you will be able to pick more aide-de-camps.)

This is approval voting, so pick up to three choices. The one with the highest amount of votes wins.


[] Wilbur Gould Sutton
[] Erik Hammerstein
[] Thomas "Tommy" Navarre
[] Royce Dillingham
[] Sampson Christopher Nixon



Author's Notes:

I am done... Every time I get comfortable, my legs are kicked out from under me, and I fall into a pile of cow dung. The hell are these Stat Rolls?!?!

By the way, I've put in a lot of references to some pieces of media, see if you can figure them out.

Revolutionary Fun Fact–Baron von Steuben, the Prussian who basically revamped the Continental Army into one the Europeans could respect, would often have an assistant to swear in English at the American soldiers for him. The soldiers apparently really enjoyed this.
 
[X] Erik Hammerstein

I feel like except for the artist the rest would seve as better soldiers than aides

[X] Wilbur Gould Sutton
 
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Personally I feel that he covers everything from an aide and while I would like some intrigue we can find a designated spymaster to cover that later

[x] Sampson Christopher Nixon
 
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