"— Good news stops to take breath on the road; bad news never requires it."
–Letitia Elizabeth Landon
NEWS FROM THE OLD WORLD
Great Britain
1D100 = 27-5-15-15-30+20+25 => 7 ( 
Well, at least it's not a crit fail...)
The public has gone into an uproar against Lord North and his cabinet after the disastrous surrender of 10,000 men at Boston. Riots and protests have broken out in many major cities, with effigies of Lord Norrh being burned and calls for the entire government (minus his royal majesty) to be hung. Though they have have dispersed quickly enough by the army, their voices have been heard. Charles Fox, the new and relatively unknown MP of Malmesbury up to this point, has grown popular with his radical rhetoric and fiery oratory, and an anti-war movement has begun finds its wheels.
Due to to the compounding failures and disasters under his leadership Lord, Lord North is not just a pariah or scapegoat; he and his name are considered anathema in the sphere of British politics. Future generations will curse his name as one of Great Britain's most disastrous Prime Ministers, and "to go North" would quickly become popular slang for severely screwing up. The disgraced prime minister has formally resigned amidst the vast pressure from all sides of the political spectrum.
Who Becomes the New Prime Minister?
1 is Earl of Sandwhich, 2 is Jeffrey Amherst, 3 is William Legge, 4 is Lord Rockingham, 5 is Earl of Shelburne, and 6 is Richard Howe.
1D6 = 6!
In a surprising victory, Richard Howe, 1st Earl of Howe and brother of the recently disgraced William Howe, has become the next Prime Minister of Great Britain despite his connection to one of the failed commanders of the American Colonies. The people look upon this new government with wary hope of better results. Only time will tell if this government too falls in ignomious defeat.
Results: Lord Norh and his cabinet have been booted into a dark hole of disgrace, and Richard Howe has ascended to become Prime Minister on the platform of strengthening the navy and defeating the rebels.
France
87+15+15+30-20-10 =Art!Crit! 117 ( 
Da heck?!)
The Comte de Vergennes was no fool. He may have played the part among the courtiers, adopting a mask of soft-spoken humility in the cutthroat world of Versailles, but beneath that calm exterior lay a shrewd mind. His peers might see him as a pliant figure, someone too cautious or even too timid to act decisively—but Vergennes was quietly, constantly scheming. Ever since the bitter blow of the Seven Years' War, he'd made it his mission to restore France to its rightful place as a global superpower.
The numbers haunted him daily, however, consuming his thoughts every waking hour. France's strategic interests spanned continents, demanding that he stay meticulously attuned to every movement and every alliance across Europe and the Atlantic. He was unrelenting, fixated on a singular vision: securing France's dominance not only through diplomacy and war but through the intricate web of finance that lay behind them.
He was no finance minister, though he rather wished he was, he could run the banks and the pockets of the King better then that idiot who called himself a genius. Turgot, the bastard was not the kind of man he needed controlling the purse strings... There needed to be a tightening of resources, the belt as it were so Englishly called... to turn strategic and diplomatic visons into cold reality.
The strategic reality was, unfortunately, not something that he could change with the current state of France and her fiances and diplomatic situation. France needed a well-maintained navy, a debt-free treasury, and a revitalized army. But the weight of old debts strained even the most well-laid plans. Louis XVI, though benevolent and well-meaning, was far from the ideal debtor, and his flamboyant queen Marie Antoinette was even worse. His Majesty's relationship with Parisian creditors—and international financiers from London to Amsterdam—was delicate, and every missed payment or miscalculation risked unraveling the network that held France's influence together.
The Comte detested the endless accounts and balancing acts; yet he was keenly aware that since the Sun King's passing, finances had become the Achilles' heel of France. The insatiable debts from previous wars weighed heavily, forcing him to contemplate options that once would have seemed unthinkable. Winning new wars could yield indemnities, capturing resource-rich islands could bring wealth, and the illicit slave trade offered tempting, albeit morally dubious, profits. Even pirates, funded from the shadows, might be molded into unofficial agents of French interests.
Yet all these gambits came with risks. Raising taxes was unthinkable—he knew it, the king knew it, and every beggar on the streets of Paris knew it. To impose more burdens on the populace would court disaster, perhaps revolution.
And then, as if by providence, an opportunity presented itself—a glimmering chance to change the course of history. Britain's power over the Atlantic had long cast a shadow on France's ambitions, but now a fracture had appeared, one Vergennes could use to his advantage. The American colonies were growing restless, murmuring of rebellion as the British Crown struggled to keep them in line. Initially, the French court had turned their noses and sniffed about upstart colonists getting themselves killed. Though he would not admit it to anyone, Vergennes too had underestimated the Americans. The Battle of Bunker Hill had been considered as luck rather than a miracle, proof that the British were not as strong as they thought thy were.
And then came the news from Boston. An entire British army, was captured in siege. 10,000 men taken off the field. And then Quebec City had been taken.
The shock reverberated across Europe. For Britain, it was a humiliating blow after another—a disgrace that shattered the myth of its unstoppable military machine. For Vergennes, it was a potential turning point, one laden with possibility and risk. He could sense the tremors of change, both exciting and deeply unsettling.
It wasn't only Britain's vulnerability that captivated him, but also the precarious position of France's allies. Spain had long been an essential partner, but influence at the Spanish court was slipping away, thanks to a newly empowered minister in Madrid, Thomas Robinson. Robinson was reportedly entertaining the idea of an alliance with Britain, a notion that would have been unimaginable just a year ago. The death of George III seemed to have thrown British policy into chaos, with the Regent keen on repairing old rifts—even hinting that Gibraltar might be exchanged for assistance in the Americas.
The mere suggestion of such an alliance was absurd, yet Vergennes could not dismiss it. Diplomatic landscapes were shifting at an alarming rate, and he knew that any move by Britain to ally with Spain would destabilize France's position. Spain's wavering loyalty was a concern, but there were others he had hoped to rally in support of France's ambitions.
Prussia had already refused to intervene, showing no interest in the American struggle or in antagonizing Britain. Austria, for all its value and influence in European affairs, cared little for matters beyond the continent, viewing the New World as irrelevant to its own territorial aims.
Vergennes was alone on the chessboard, surrounded by rivals and hesitant allies. But he saw the path forward with clarity: if France acted decisively, they could gain more then just the notions of liberty and enlightenment propaganda wins...
But a true shake up in global affairs.
He just had to explain his position to the king, and explain it well.
|==================================|
The other ministers eyed him with thinly veiled suspicion, but the King's face held a glint of amusement. He sat with an old copy of the Pennsylvania Gazette in his hands—an English-language newspaper, owned by none other than the radical Benjamin Franklin. It must have been one of the first copies to cross the Atlantic, likely sent in haste as soon as word of the victory reached France.
Vergennes knew Franklin's influence in America... But he could scarcely believe the King had a copy himself. Could Franklin have sent this specifically to the King, knowing his soft spot for intrigue and rebellious stories? Vergennes allowed himself a moment of admiration; the American was clever indeed. Even across an ocean, that old man was weaving webs of his own.
Silence settled over the room as the King read, glancing up with a smirk. "Quite a stunning feat for mere colonials," he remarked, his voice laced with irony. "This Washington… he has the makings of a true general, don't you think?"
Vergennes met his gaze, calm but measured. "That remains to be seen, Your Majesty. One victory does not make a conqueror."
The King's smirk deepened, and Vergennes sensed that the other ministers, too, felt the King's satisfaction with this new game. They shifted uneasily, no doubt worried that Vergennes might seize an advantage. Finally, one of them spoke up, attempting to downplay the colonial commander's talents.
"Washington's success was hardly his own," one minister interjected. "It was his subordinates' maneuvering—and, frankly, the British failures—that carried him to victory. There is no proof that he can maintain such fortune in battle."
The King glanced back at Vergennes, a calculating glint in his eye. "And yet the rebels place all their faith in him, this Washington. What makes you think he's of any use to us?"
The First Minister chimed in. "He served the British Crown against us in the Seven Years' War. Washington has shown himself as a man of shifting loyalties, hardly a stable ally."
Vergennes seized his chance. "Loyalty is often a matter of opportunity, Majesty. What Washington's loyalties are hardly matters, for now he fights our enemy—and has struck them a serious blow. That alone could be useful to us. In any other time, the British would have already come to the table for peace. Yet they persist, blind to their weakness."
The King's eyes sparkled with interest. "So, you suggest we use that blindness to our advantage?"
Vergennes inclined his head. "Precisely, Your Majesty. We could open our ports to their ships, allowing their goods to flow. Give them something they want diplomatically—an opening, a lifeline—without spending so much as a livre or cannonball. And if we bide our time, when they grow desperate, they may seek our support openly, on our terms. and then we can extract what we need from them."
The King leaned forward, his gaze sharp with understanding. "And if this Washington proves himself once more… we might do more than just watch."
The King then smiled. "Is there an american envoy on the way to make such a document?"
Vergennes smiled. "At the moment, I do not know, but I have recived a letter from an agent from America. They seek to send the American, Dr. Benjamin Franklin, to serve as an envoy."
The King's face lit up with a smile.
Results: Due to the wayward loyalty of Spain and the current disasters for the British, France has done a swift 180° in their stance on the Americas. Benjamin Franklin will arrive in France within the year.
Spain
1D100 = 37+5+15+30-20-20 => 47 (Not really emote worthy, but it's really odd how this–)
There are disconcerting rumors about the Spanish and their seemingly-blooming dalliance with England, especially given their tensing relations with France. Thomas Robinson, a new minister in Spain, is behind the efforts of Angl-Spanish reconciliation, and the regency itself seems keen to repair their relationship with their fellow monarchy. There are whispers that the Spanish are willing to cede some land called Gibraltar in exchange for support in defending their colonies in North America from the rebels. Nothing is enshrined in stone, however.
Results: While Spain has put the brakes on their panic about the American Revolution, they are still tense and weary about the upstart colonists.
The Dutch Republic
1D100 = 85+15+30-10 => Art!Crit! 120 ( What is this rollercoaster nonsense?!)
In the Low Countries, however, there is a stunning display of overwhelming support for the American cause. Remembering their own revolution against tyranny and comparing it directly with the American's cause, as well as the Anglo-Dutch wars, the people are eager to support who they see as their brothers in cause and stick one to the British. Already, Dutch blockade runners and smugglers are sailing to the Thirteen Colonies with much needed supplies, both economic and military.
The current Stadtholder, William V, has welcomed American ambassadors, and there are talks of the two nations possibly establishing a Treaty of Commerce sooner rather than later.
Results: The Dutch, smelling opportunity for both profit and messing with the English, are very ready to throw in on the American cause despite threats and strong words from Great Britain.
Author's Notes:
Up and down and up and down the rolls go, and up and down does my blood pressure move. 
Thanks again to @Magoose for helping with this update.
Revolutionary Fun Fact–This is actually a Civil War Fact, but it's too funny not to share. Braxton Bragg, quite possibly the least successful out of all the Confederate army commanders, was a brutally harsh disciplinarian and very unpopular with his troops. If he had been in Vietnam, he would've been fragged... Oh, wait, that's exactly what happened during the Mexican-American War. The soldiers of the company he commanded apparently hated the man so much that they detonated a freaking artillery shell underneath his cot while he slept. Miraculously, he survived the brush with death. Admittedly, this is an alleged event not very confirmed, but it's not outright fable, so I'll believe it to be true.
In a much more apocryphal incident recounted by Ulysses S. Grant (who admitted himself he had no 2ay to prove its veracity), Bragg, while at an outpost where he was both a company commander and quartermaster, sent a request for supplies for his company. Then, as quartermaster, he... declined the request that he himself had sent for some bloody reason. He then resubmitted the request with more reasons as to why he needed the supplies, and this was once again rejected... by himself. Realizing he was getting nowhere with this self-imposed nonsense, he went to the commander of the outpost and presented his conundrum, to which his commander supposedly responded, "My God, Mr. Bragg, you have quarreled with every officer in the army, and now you are quarreling with yourself!"
The fact that this isn't completely implausible says a lot about the man the rumor is about.
