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Confused Jackie Chan and Facepalming Picard Counter New
All Instances of Confused Jackie Chan & Facepalming Picard



Total Confused Jackie Chan Tally: VII

1D100 = 6+25+5+10-15 = 31 (The heck? :jackiechan: )
1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat!Fail! 7 (Why do I even bother... :jackiechan:)
1D3+3 = 3+3 => 6! ( :jackiechan: )
:jackiechan: Bro, at this point, the dice just have a mind of their own. And no one can convince me otherwise.
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = Nat! 97+20+10-10-15 => Nat!Crit! 87 ( :jackiechan: What is going on?!)
1D100 = Nat! 1+15+15-20 => Nat!Fail! 11 ( :jackiechan: THREE NAT ONES?!?!?!)

|==================================|

Total Facepalming Picard Tally: VII

1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat Crit! 7 ( :facepalm: ...of course.)
1D100 = Nat! 96+25+15+10+5 = Nat!Crit! 151 ( :facepalm: Oh, screw off.)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20-15-10 => Neg!Fail! -4 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = 11+15+15-20 => 21 ( :facepalm: Can anything be normal in my quest?)
1D100 = 85+15+10-15 => Art!Crit! 95 ( :facepalm: I'm done... I've had enough of this.)



@Randomnerd, thank you for the idea.
 
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Results: The Oneida have allied with the Americans against the British, with several other tribes also showing interest in allowing with them. Only the Mohawks stand as clear enemies of the Americans.

How does this affect the Iroquois Confederacy? Both the Oneida and the Mohawks are in the Six Nation's Alliance and being on opposite sides can't be good for the Haudenosaunee's stability.
 
How does this affect the Iroquois Confederacy? Both the Oneida and the Mohawks are in the Six Nation's Alliance and being on opposite sides can't be good for the Haudenosaunee's stability.
IRL, this is what happened. The Oneida sided with the Americans, and the Mohawks were not... happy with them, let's just say.

The Iroquois Confederation is currently in hot debate on which side they should join or if they should join at all, with Honyere Doxtator pushing for the Americans while Joseph Brant argues for the British. As of now, the other Iroquois tribes are currently neutral, but they do show interest in joining the Americans.
 
With all these European powers looking at the Revolution with a pistol in their hands? Yeah getting the siege of Boston won quickly is starting to look like a must to at least start preparing for the big attack. No where near ready for what is coming.

Edit: Though this big threat is really showing Congress that they need officers that are skilled to win. If nothing else to not be killed for treason.
 
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IRL, this is what happened. The Oneida sided with the Americans, and the Mohawks were not... happy with them, let's just say.

The Iroquois Confederation is currently in hot debate on which side they should join or if they should join at all, with Honyere Doxtator pushing for the Americans while Joseph Brant argues for the British. As of now, the other Iroquois tribes are currently neutral, but they do show interest in joining the Americans.

Hopefully this time, we don't stab our native allies in the back post war. :cry:
 
France

1D100 = 11+15+15-20 => 21 ( :facepalm: Can anything be normal in my quest?)


The French court has reacted poorly to the rebellion in America, with many nobles haughtily turning their noses at these upstarts going against their better bred leaders. As of now, they want nothing to do with this rabble.

Results: France views the Revolution negatively and would have to be hard-pressed in order to support it.

Lol, if France stays out of the Revolution then perhaps the lack of wartime debt could be enough for them to coast on by through the late 1780's without reforms. Americans may think Louis XVI hates their cause, but the dude is playing 6D chess to keep him and his family alive, lol.

Well, at the very least Spain and France keeping out gives Congress more motivation to solve its race issues by sticking true to alliances with the natives and involving Free Blacks more. Hopefully new campaigns will have the same success as what we did in Bunker Hill. If we continue kicking British ass, then perhaps France and Spain may join just to get some easy clay.
 
I'm sorry, I just read what happened.

Holy shit the world is on fire!
You could say the World has turned upside down? :V

I'll shut up now and get to my anaylisis.
Across New York and the surrounding territories, British supply convoys have been raided and isolated outposts have been burnt to the ground with barely any survivors. Those the British manage to rescue speak of savage ghosts and monsters haunting the woods, letting out terrifying chants and war cries as they slaughtered their foes. And at their head was Boudicca reborn, her long, red hair flowing with the wind as she led her hellhounds with sword and pistol in hand.

Results: Elizabeth O'Conner has grown her merry band of rebels to over two-hundred and fifty zealous and dangerous guerilla fighters, which she has used to a devastating effect against the British. -10 to British Rolls in New York and nearby.
Well damn, I knew that our other characters would be running around... yet I still didn't believe they would be as successful, but it seems the Irish have it handled.

as always when it comes to the British Empire.
Continental Congress

1D100 = 51+15+10 => 76


The Continental Congress has appointed Benjamin Franklin as their first Postmaster General to near unanimous approval both in congress and across the colonies. They have also sounded the call for more volunteers to join the Continental Army, with William Prescott being tasked with leading this recruitment. Now, the delegates anxiously await King George III's response to their Olive Branch Petition, with John Dickinson the most anxious of all.

Results: Benjamin Franklin has been confirmed as America's first Postmaster General, and William Prescott has been put in charge of recruiting more men for the Continental Army.
Well we now know about the teleportation of the Liberty Kids...

Franklin gave them postmaster powers.

Or his strange teleportation bullshit powers?
Quebec

1D100 = Nat! 1+20-15-10 => Neg!Fail! -4 ( :facepalm: Of course...)


The most shocking news the colonies have received, however, was that Quebec had gone into open revolt against the British. Though there were conflicting accounts, the most widely accepted one stated that the people of Quebec had experienced their own Boston Massacre and were just as eager as the Americans to kick the British back across the ocean. The preparations for Schuyler's–or rather Montgomery's–expedition into Quebec have been hastened, with Arnold's plans for a second expedition also being swiftly approved by Congress. All hold their breaths as they look upon their fellow rebels in Quebec and pray for their success.

Results: Guy Carleton has blundered and, in a preemptive move, declared martial law in Quebec due to public sympathy for the American rebels growing. When a large group of men, women, and children marched through the streets of Montreal to protest this, British soldiers opened fire and killed over thirty people in what has been dubbed the Montreal Massacre. As a result, several parts of Quebec have risen up in open rebellion against the British, the most prominent leaders being the Bâby brothers, Francois and Jacques Duperon. Congress is rushing to exploit this and support the rebels in Quebec. +20 to rolls for the expeditions into Quebec.
Guy... you fucked up, bigtime.

Even if there wasn't a growing rebellious precense among the canadians that were molified during the interveening years, you threw it all away by... quite literally doing the exact same shit that got the Revolution kickstarted in America.

God I hope you get fired.
Results: William Henry, George's younger brother, has been crowned William IV, King of Great Britain, Ireland, and Hanover. 26,000 soldiers have been sent to deal with the rebellions North American colonies, led by Henry Conway and Charles Cornwallis.
He should be the prince regent, rather then King, but that is just me.
Results: France views the Revolution negatively and would have to be hard-pressed in order to support it.
Maybe they saw the future and realized that supporting the revolution would cause their own revolution that would kill them, and they would not support the ungreatful bastards that are the Americans.
Results: The Oneida have allied with the Americans against the British, with several other tribes also showing interest in allowing with them. Only the Mohawks stand as clear enemies of the Americans.
Well shit... lets hope that we can no do anything stupid to wreak foreign relations
Lol, if France stays out of the Revolution then perhaps the lack of wartime debt could be enough for them to coast on by through the late 1780's without reforms. Americans may think Louis XVI hates their cause, but the dude is playing 6D chess to keep him and his family alive, lol.

Well, at the very least Spain and France keeping out gives Congress more motivation to solve its race issues by sticking true to alliances with the natives and involving Free Blacks more. Hopefully new campaigns will have the same success as what we did in Bunker Hill. If we continue kicking British ass, then perhaps France and Spain may join just to get some easy clay.
TheProblem is two fold.

We need French gunpowder. And canons, and uniforms... and guns... and money.

All the shit that America does not have, and can't produce in quantity enough to actualy fight for long periods of time.

So like it or not, we need thier support, if not for men, then material.
 
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Raiding for supplies might of just became more important for the long-term war effort if France and Spain aren't gonna move on their stance. Whether it's Raiding Canada or sea raids with our new navy.
 
Raiding for supplies might of just became more important for the long-term war effort if France and Spain aren't gonna move on their stance. Whether it's Raiding Canada or sea raids with our new navy.
Well I have an idea for an omake of Arthur Smith, based on my navy playthrough of ultimate General American revolution

Because in one of my favorite battles, he took his one frigate and captured ten ships... Supply ships sure, but still thats impressive.

I hope I can make that bit canon with my omakes once the siege is over.
 
Well I have an idea for an omake of Arthur Smith, based on my navy playthrough of ultimate General American revolution

Because in one of my favorite battles, he took his one frigate and captured ten ships... Supply ships sure, but still thats impressive.

I hope I can make that bit canon with my omakes once the siege is over.

Hopefully he can do it. Needs all the ships and supplies we can get. American navy might need to be the guys to keep us in the war. Raid all the supply ships.
 
Seems like the dice want an all out brawl between a united Americas and western Europe. This'll be fun, also let's try not to stab the Natives in the back this timeline.
 
Turn IV – August 1775 New
"The colonists are by the law of nature freeborn, as indeed all men are, white or black."
–James Otis Jr., Rights of the British Colonies



August 2, 1775
Outskirts of Boston, Massachusetts


Does Prescott get promoted to Brigadier General?

1D100 = 41+20 => 61

Just barely, he gets promoted.

Is Halbert goven command of the 7th Continental Regiment in Prescott's stead?

1D100 = 56+20+15-10-10 => 71

Lt. Colonel Jonathan Halbert stood at attention in front of his battalion as Colonel Prescott–no, General Prescott now–finished his farewell speech to his regiment, with some men quietly sniffling and shedding stoic tears. Prescott had been lauded by many and beloved by those under his command, and even Halbert wasn't ashamed to admit

"...But fret not, men," Prescott stated, a small grin worming its way onto his face. "For I am sure that your new commanding officer will be more than up to the task in leading you men to glory and honor."

A bit ostentatious of a statement, but Halbert could see the point the general wasaking.

General Prescott then coughed into his fist and straightened his waistcoat before his grin became a beaming smile. "So, it is with both humility and pride that I introduce you to your new commanding officer, Lt. Colonel Jonathan Halbert."

A sensible choice, Halbert thought to himself as the general's–Wait, what?

The subsequent roaring cheers barely registered in Halbert's mind as he slowly made his way to the general, the bastard having the gall to smile at him.

"What the hell, sir," Halbert half-whispered, and the general merely chuckled.

"There is no one else I would trust with my regiment than you, Jonathan," the man smiled with pride. "You'll do my boys right, I know it. Now go on and give them the speech they want."

Results: William Prescott has been promoted to the rank of Brigadier General and has been assigned by Congress to raise up more troops for the Continental Army, meaning that he is to not command his regiment anymore. Despite General Washington's misgivings, Prescott has convinced him to give the command of the regiment to Lt. Colonel Jonathan Halbert as part of the reorganization of the Continetal Army. While he has not been promoted yet, Halbert could easily become a full colonel at some point or another.

Halbert has now become commander of the 7th Continental Regiment. Gain +1 Action per Turn. +4 Relations with William Prescott.




The British have attempted their first evacuation. How well do they do?

1D100 = 78+20+10-40-10 => 58

Results: The British have evacuated a majority of the Loyalist civilians in Boston with merchant ships. The Americans, who are not savages, obligingly let the civilians evacuate to New York unmolested. The siege still goes on, and the British still do not have much hope.

1/3 Successes
0/3 Failures




It is August 2, 1775. Lt. Colonel Jonathan "Mad John" Barclay Halbert, commander of the 7th Continental Regiment, is currently on the outskirts of Boston, Massachusetts, which is currently being besieged by the Continental Army.

Jonathan is a Lt. Colonel in the Army of Observation and is paid fifty dollars per month, the standard wage of his rank.

His current assets are as follows...

–1,560 Continental Dollars

–A wagon that holds your personal belongings.

–An officer's sword and uniform, as well as a flintlock pistol.

–A collection of military history books. (+5 to rolls for all Martial Actions.)




You have eight Actions this Turn. Use them wisely.

Special Actions


[] Noble Train: Henry Knox, Washington's new artillery officer, wishes to speak with you of an idea he has had regarding the artillery.

Martial

[] Regimental Regulations: You need to get up to speed with the men of your regiment, look into the regiment's finer details, and make sure they'll be up to standard.

[] Read Up on Military Stratagy: While you are competent at military affairs, it wouldn't hurt to sharpen your skills.

[] Grand Bombard: You will do your duty and get those guns for General Washington.

[] Find an Aide: You've found that your new promotions have led to a sudden surge of duties and responsibilities. You'll need an assistant if you expect to get any of this done well.

Diplomacy

[] Trench Talk: If you're going to lead men into battle, it would be best for you to gain their trust.

[] Social Slithering: You want to talk with your fellow officers and get into their good graces.

[] Stalwart Subordinates: You want to get a good measure of the officers who will be your subordinates.

[] Head into Boston... Not in Disguise: The American and British leadership have come to an unofficial agreement regarding entry into Boston. While it would require you to leave your weapons behind, there shouldn't be any real risk to the endeavor, and you might even found out some useful information. Probably.

[] Tough Crowd, Tougher Fights: A brawl has developed between the Marbleheaders and some of the Virginians. You are the highest ranking officer near by, you need to do something.

[] Try to Write Something: You want to write something for the world to read. Whether it be for yourself or to help your cause, you just wish to write it.

Stewardship

[] Requisition Ammunition and Weapons: The men are enthusiastic and eager to get at the Redcoats, but they'll need more than guts in order to beat them back. See if you can get them some tools of death to use.
-[] Write in how much money you wish to spend.
-[] Write in what kind of weapons and requisite ammunition you wish to purchase.

[] Requisition Supplies: Though the supply situation has been helped thanks to your arrival, you can always do more to improve it.
-[] Write in how much money you wish to spend.
[] Write in what kind of supplies you wish to purchase.

[] Ask to Look Over the Supplies: A man of trade and money, you know the importance of proper storage of goods and that things must be made accountable and proper.

[] A Way of Payment: The militiamen have been swept up in a patriotic fervor, and while they are currently more than happy, they will soon wish for payment. Better now than later.
-[] Write in how much money you wish to spend.

[] Check your Stocks: A good merchant, even one that is joining a battle, always travels with his stores of whatever he wants to sell. Maybe there's something in the carts that could help. Hopefully. (Can be taken two more times.)

[] Treasure Ships (Or Things Close Enough to Them): Arthur Smith has come bearing supplies and loot from his voyage to Boston. You might as well see if you can get something from it.

[] There Goes the General: With the new Commander-in-Chief George Washington in charge, General Ward has been "demoted" to be his second-in-command and had been put to work helping reorganize the Continental Army. Perhaps he could use some help.

[] In for a Pence: You've done the numbers, and if you sell the stock you have in your father's business, the army wouldn't have to worry about supplies for an entire year. Well... in for a pence, in for a pound.

Intrigue

[] Head into Boston... in Disguise: You want to know more about the situation in Boston, as well as possibly find out out what the Redcoats are up to. You'll sneak into the city yourself.

[] Send Men into Boston... in Disguise: You want to know more about the situation in Boston, as well as possibly find out out what the Redcoats are up to. You'll send a few men to sneak into the city.

[] Scout Out British Positions: The British have set up forts on the hills just around Boston. Perhaps you could head out and... appreciate the magnificent architecture.

[] Hearts and Minds: The facade of stiff upper lips is cracking in Boston. Perhaps you should try to take a hammer and speed up that process?

Learning

[] An Issue to Resolve: There is always something that the faculty needs to resolve. But you… have the power to potentially resolve that something. So saddle forth and do something about it. (This will lead to the creation of other options.)

[] Learn a New Skill: You want to expand your skillset and broaden your knowledge.
-[] Write in what skill you wish to learn. (Subject to QM Approval.)

Prowess

[] Exercise: If you're going to fight in this Revolution, you are going to need to shape up and work your body. Right now.

[] Train with Weapons: If you're going to fight in this Revolution, it would be wise for you to learn how to actually use a weapon.
-[] Write in which weapon you want to train with.

Personal

[] Focus on an Action: You want to make sure you accomplish this task well. (Applies a +10 Bonus to any action of your choice.)
-[] Write in which Action you wish to apply the bonus to.

[] Pray: You're not the most religious man, but a talk with God wouldn't hurt.

[] Write to your Family: You want to keep in touch with your family, make sure that they're doing well.


Author's Notes:

Now, I can take a break from the stupid crazy that is your rolls. While you guys vote, I'm gonna find a different dice roller and see if that helps with anything.

Revolutionary Fun Fact–During Paul Revere's famous midnight ride, there were actually two other riders that night: William Dawes and Samuel Prescott. Of these three, only Prescott reached Concord. Dawes was forced to walk back to Lexington when his horse bucked him off, and Revere was stopped and detained by a British patrol before being let go.
 
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