Confused Jackie Chan and Facepalming Picard Counter
All Instances of Confused Jackie Chan & Facepalming Picard



Total Confused Jackie Chan Tally: XXII

1D100 = 6+25+5+10-15 = 31 (The heck? :jackiechan: )
1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat!Fail! 7 (Why do I even bother... :jackiechan:)
1D3+3 = 3+3 => 6! ( :jackiechan: )
:jackiechan: Bro, at this point, the dice just have a mind of their own. And no one can convince me otherwise.
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = Nat! 97+20+10-10-15 => Nat!Crit! 87 ( :jackiechan: What is going on?!)
1D100 = Nat! 1+15+15-20 => Nat!Fail! 11 ( :jackiechan: THREE NAT ONES?!?!?!)
1D100 = 6+20 => 26 ( :jackiechan: How?! Why?!)
1D100 = 21-15-10-5+10+5 => 6 ( :jackiechan: If you had gotten a Crit Fail here, I swear again–)
1D100 = Nat! 95+10+10-10 => Nat!Crit! 105 ( :jackiechan: This was not part of the plan!! How the heck–)
1D100 = Nat! 100+20+15+10-10 => Nat!Crit! 135 ( :jackiechan: Dilliam Wuke's having a stronk... call a Dukulance... :facepalm: )
87+15+15+30-20-10 =Art!Crit! 117 ( :jackiechan: Da heck?!)
1D100 = 85+15+30-10 => Art!Crit! 120 ( :jackiechan: What is this rollercoaster nonsense?!)
1D100 = 19+10+10+5 => 44 (Whu–?! :jackiechan: )
3D2000 = 1996+1984+855 => 4835 ( :jackiechan: Really?!)
1D100 = Nat!100+20+10+5+5+5 => Nat!Crit! 145 ( :jackiechan: Not again... Not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = 87+10 => Art!Crit! 97 ( :jackiechan: No no no no no no... Wait wait wait wait... WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT)
1D100 = Nat! 1+10-10 => Nat!Fail! 1 ( :jackiechan: The hell?!)
1D100 = Nat! 5+10-10-5 => Nat!Fail! 0 ( :jackiechan: Not again, not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = Nat! 98+10+5 => Nat!Crit! 113 (Oh, for– :jackiechan: )
1D100 = 91-5+5 => Art!Crit! 96 ( :jackiechan: Why are my dice like this?)
1D100 = 11-5+5+5 => 16 ( :jackiechan: Da hecc?)

|==================================|

Total Facepalming Picard Tally: XIX

1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat Crit! 7 ( :facepalm: ...of course.)
1D100 = Nat! 96+25+15+10+5 = Nat!Crit! 151 ( :facepalm: Oh, screw off.)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20-15-10 => Neg!Fail! -4 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = 11+15+15-20 => 21 ( :facepalm: Can anything be normal in my quest?)
1D100 = 85+15+10-15 => Art!Crit! 95 ( :facepalm: I'm done... I've had enough of this.)
1D100 = Nat! 99+10+5 => Nat! Crit! 114 ( :facepalm: Of course, why wouldn't this happen?)
1D100 = 94+15+10+5 => Art!Crit! 129 ( :facepalm: If you had gotten a Nat Crit, I swear...)
1D100 = Nat! 100+20+15+10-10 => Nat!Crit! 135 ( :jackiechan: Dilliam Wuke's having a stronk... call a Dukulance... :facepalm: )
1D100 = 27-5-15-15-30+20+25 => 7 ( :facepalm: Well, at least it's not a crit fail...)
...Why do I do this to myself? :facepalm:
1D100 = 93+10+5 => Art!Crit! 108 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = 89+10 => Art!Crit! 99 (Of course... :facepalm: )
1D100 = Nat!100+20+10+5+5+5 => Nat!Crit! 145 ( :jackiechan: Not again... Not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = Nat!100+20 => (Autopass!) Nat!Crit! 120 ( :facepalm: If you'll all excuse me for one sec...)
1D100 = Nat! 5+10-10-5 => Nat!Fail! 0 ( :jackiechan: Not again, not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = 19-10-10+10 = 9 ( :facepalm: Of course, what else would I expect?)
1D100 = Nat! 95-10-5+10 => Nat!Crit! 90 ( :facepalm: Bipolar dice much?)



@Randomnerd, thank you for the idea.
 
Last edited:
Hail Britania: The British Negaverse (Thread 5, The Regency and the Disaster in America):
Forgot to give this a Reward, so here it is.

Rewards: Next Rumor Mill, the British will receive a -15 to all Rolls. Also, they will receive a -10 Malus in battle turns during your campaign in Canada (and Iroquois Territory technically).
 
And guys, as a reminder I can change a part of my plan to what you want, though it will have to be negotiated and if no one want me to make changes by next day then I won't make the changes

@Mystic Pentagram and @EVA-Saiyajin as much as I want to follow through with your ideas, I have to see if the others agree with you. Cause if not then I won't follow through or else I will do a taboo for any planner, and that's to change a plan when majority of most already voted for what it previously was, to something that would not be agreeable with the voters at the last minute.

So if I haven't made any changes to what you wanted then I'm sorry, but I am loyal to those that have voted for my plan and if they wanted to keep it the same then I will not change it unless majority agree to what you want.
 
[Canon] Magoose: Sea Travel and Other Signs of Company
Sea Travel and Other Signs of Company:

(Arthur Smith POV)

Captain Arthur Smith was a man of complexity and resourcefulness, shaped by years at sea and the company of influential minds. Yet, even among the extraordinary figures of the age, his old friend and mentor, Benjamin Franklin, remained unparalleled in wit, intellect, and charm. By Smith's side was young Temple Franklin, Benjamin's grandson, eagerly assisting them in their latest endeavor—a voyage of immense consequence.

Arthur found the company of Franklin both comforting and challenging, for it brought equal measures of wisdom and irreverence. Their interactions often left him grappling with Franklin's boundless optimism and audacious schemes. For instance, as they sailed aboard the Mars Hope, Smith could scarcely suppress his disbelief at their mission: ferrying one of the foremost architects of revolution across the Atlantic into the dangerous waters of diplomacy and war.

"Well, Doctor Franklin," Arthur began as he pored over a copy of the newly published Declaration of Independence, a document he was also translating into French for their diplomatic mission. "I must admit, I'm still baffled by your trust in me to see you safely across the Atlantic. Especially when I've made my objections to this voyage abundantly clear."

Franklin, unperturbed, glanced up from the almanac he had been leafing through. "True," he replied with a wry smile. "But I believe you'll find that an armed marine escort suits the role of a plenipotentiary of our wondrous union rather well."

"That's precisely the issue," Arthur countered, leaning forward. "The British won't see this as a diplomatic vessel. To them, it's a warship, and we're all participants in the rebellion. We'll be hunted the moment we set sail."

Franklin chuckled, the sound was rich with mischief. "The Mars Hope is a fast ship, Captain. And why worry? Once we reach French waters, I have no doubt you'll find yourself quite welcome—not only in my company but also in the good graces of the French Crown."

Arthur couldn't help but laugh at the old man's unflappable demeanor. "I find myself serving at the pleasure of Congress, Doctor. Not acting as a pirate of the French crown?"

"And yet Congress has entrusted me with authority," Franklin said, his eyes twinkling, "to act as their representative until new orders arrive. Consider it a temporary arrangement, Captain."

Smith smirked. "Temporary. I've heard that before. What exactly are you planning, my old friend?"

Franklin leaned back in his chair, his expression suddenly serious, yet no less determined. "I am planning to win the confidence of the French Crown, Captain. To secure arms, alliance, and funds from them so that we may win this war for independence."

Arthur studied the older man for a moment. Despite Franklin's outward levity, there was steel in his voice, an unshakable resolve.

"Well then, Doctor Franklin," Arthur said finally, his grin returning, "let's see how fast the Mars Hope can fly. I wouldn't want to keep the King of France waiting."

Temple Franklin, seated nearby with a stack of papers, glanced up and grinned at the exchange. It seemed to him that his grandfather had once again cast his unrelenting spell, drawing men to his cause with a combination of brilliance, charm, and purpose.

"Dr. Franklin… wait." Arthur paused, narrowing his eyes as suspicion crept into his voice. "I was under the impression we would be meeting with Captain Jones for this… future endeavor of yours."

Franklin, ever unruffled, closed the book he had been reading and gave Arthur a knowing smile. "We will indeed meet him. Captain Jones has already arrived in France ahead of us. He's securing another warship and recruiting men to our cause. Both of you are crucial to what lies ahead."

Arthur folded his arms and leaned against the ship's railing, studying the older man. "To what end?"

Franklin's smile widened, the glint of mischief unmistakable. "A raid on England."

Arthur froze, then blinked, waiting for some clarification or a sign that Franklin was joking. None came. "A raid… on England?" His voice rose with incredulity. "Are you mad?"

Franklin's calm expression did little to assuage Arthur's rising temper. "Battling the Royal Navy off the coast of America is one thing. It's dangerous but feasible. But what the hell makes you think we can raid the British Isles? Their navy patrols those waters like hawks!"

Franklin tilted his head slightly, his serene demeanor unchanged. "That's precisely what makes it worth doing."

Arthur gaped at him, struggling to form a coherent response. They were only a month, perhaps two, from France, and yet somehow, Franklin was already hatching plans that bordered on suicide. He rubbed his temples, trying to process the sheer audacity of it all. "What… are you planning?"

Franklin gave a small chuckle, clearly anticipating Arthur's reaction. "If we are to win the confidence of the French Crown, we must show them that this war can be won—not just defended but taken to the enemy. If General Washington cannot deliver decisive victories in New York, and General Halbert cannot succeed and in saving the struggling expedition in Canada, then we must find another way to make our cause profitable in the eyes of the French."

Arthur's voice dropped to a growl as he leaned closer. "Then send me to the Caribbean. Let me raid the sugar islands. That's where the wealth is, where we can truly hurt the British economy. But an assault on their home soil? That's madness!"

Franklin held up a hand, his expression softening. "All in good time, Arthur. This is not a plan we undertake lightly, nor without preparation. But think of what it would mean—to strike at the heart of Britain, to show the French that we are bold enough to challenge the lion in its own den."

Arthur took a step back, his mind racing. The implications of such a raid were staggering. It was reckless and dangerous, and yet… if it worked, the psychological impact alone could tilt the scales of diplomacy. He sighed heavily, shaking his head. "You haven't even worked out the specifics yet, have you?"

Franklin shrugged, his grin returning. "Details are for military minds like Captain Jones and yourself. My task is to ensure that when the time comes, the world knows that the Mars Hope and her crew dared to dream big."

Arthur muttered a curse under his breath. "Dream big, he says… You'll have me writing my epitaph before we even dock in France."

Franklin patted him on the shoulder, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Don't fret, my dear friend. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that fortune favors the bold. Now, let's make haste. The future waits for no man."

Arthur smith than took a breath… Seems he needed to think… truly think about what would happen now.

And if he could survive it.

No he would survive it… he had to.

AN: Or Ben Franklin is leveraging his two captains, Jones and Smith, into something that would make the mad lad that is jones look sane.

Raid the British isles.

Also, I have played ultimate Admerial age of sail... and I did some insane shit, like capture three huge second rates during the british campaign with my tiny ass frigate fleet by using wolf pack methods.

Take out one ship, then move to the other, always having two ships versus one.
 
Last edited:
Voting Closed
I'm closing the vote early since it's pretty clear which plan is gonna win.
Scheduled vote count started by Duke William of on Dec 4, 2024 at 12:00 PM, finished with 58 posts and 24 votes.

  • [X] Plan: Northern Campaign
    -[X] Getting the Greenhorns into shape: Your men are not... experts at warfare, to say the least. Your men better shape up before our head up north
    -[X] Fellow fighters: You should meet with your subordinates and get a good feel on their personalities. See if they'll be any trouble for you
    -[X] Lee and You: You're going to be coordinating with Charles Lee for the first half of your expedition ( who will technically be your commanding officer then), so you'll need to meet with him to discuss strategy.
    -[X] Maps Galore: You have no idea about the terrain and Geography of either the Iroquois Territory or Canada. That should be remedied sooner rather then later.
    -[X] Oneida Native American Friend: If your going to head to Iroquois Territory, you should get to know your erstwhile native allies.
    -[X] Common sense: Thomas Paine, Author of the famous Common Sense, is eager to meet you, though he understands if you don't have time( No time Limit)
    -[X] Focus on an action You want to make sure you accomplish this task well.(Applied a +10 bonuses to any action of your choice.)
    --[X] Fellow fighters
    -[X] Let's go: You think your men are ready. Let's do this(Begins the Canadian Campaign. Must be taken on or before Turn VII.)
    -[X] Independent action: You need Tommy to do something for you
    --[X] Wars and Rumors of Wars
    [X] Plan Taking Things Very Seriously:
    -[X] Let's go: You think your men are ready. Let's do this(Begins the Canadian Campaign. Must be taken on or before Turn VII.)
    -[X] Getting Greenhorns Into Shape: Your men are not... experts at warfare, to say the least. Your men had better shape up before our head up north.
    -[X] Fellow fighters: You should meet with your subordinates and get a good feel on their personalities. See if they'll be any trouble for you
    -[X] More Men: You think your force could use some more men. You should see if there are any more men you could possibly grab for your division.
    -[X] Lee and You: You're going to be coordinating with Charles Lee for the first half of your expedition ( who will technically be your commanding officer then), so you'll need to meet with him to discuss strategy.
    -[X] Maps Galore: You have no clue about the terrain and geography of either the Iroquois Territory or Canada. That should be remedied sooner rather than later.
    -[X] Oneida Native American Friend: If you're going to head into Iroquois Territory, you should get to know your erstwhile native allies.
    -[X] Focus on an Action: You want to make sure you accomplish this task well. (Applies a +10 Bonus to any action of your choice.)
    --[X] Getting Greenhorns Into Shape
    -[X] Assistance for Action: You need Tommy to help you with something.
    [X] Plan: Northern Campaign
    - [x] Getting the Greenhorns into shape
    - [x] Fellow fighters
    - [x] Lee and You
    - [x] Maps Galore
    - [x] Oneida Native American Friend
    - [x] Common sense
    - [x] Focus on an action
    --[X] Fellow fighters
    - [x] Let's go
    - [x] Independent action
    --[X] Wars and Rumors of Wars
 
Let me just say, you guys got some big enough bonuses for this Turn that you have a reasonable safety net should you have rolled low.
 
So, my lore is rusty, but I do know we were kicked out of Canada OTL somewhat embarrassingly. What was the sentiment of the locals OTL, only twelve-thirteen years after being taken from the French?
 
What was the sentiment of the locals OTL, only twelve-thirteen years after being taken from the French?
Not very enthusiastic, if they even had any enthusiasism at all. The Letters to the Inhabitants of Canada, written by various members of the Second Continental Congress, we're unsuccessful due to their tone deafness and lacking of understanding of how the people of Quebec thought and worked. Didn't help matters that the Quebecois were mostly Catholic while the Thirteen Colonies were decidedly not.

 
It would make sense, especially after the OTL disaster of expeditions into Canada, but this time Arnold succeeded and we are going to ensure that we gather support among the people of Canada.

After all, Johnathan Halbert has first hand practice with winning the hearts and minds, so as more time he spends winning the locals to the revolution cause the more chances that the Canadians would join with their southern counterparts.

And maybe there would be two independent countries, Canada and America it would truly be like emulating history but with a twist when it comes to the Origins as to how America and Canada were formed.
 
Back
Top