La Chanson de la Victoire (The Song of Victory): La Petite Arpenteuse (Non, SV, you are a General of France in the Napoleonic War!)

Parlez-vous français?

  • Oui, je parle très bien français!

    Votes: 162 14.3%
  • Un peu.

    Votes: 188 16.6%
  • What? Francis? Nope.

    Votes: 330 29.1%
  • What? Oh, don't be silly, my dear!

    Votes: 161 14.2%
  • ¿El español es lo suficientemente bueno?

    Votes: 86 7.6%
  • Ich verstehe dich irgendwie.

    Votes: 64 5.6%
  • Я очень хорошо говорю по-русски.

    Votes: 64 5.6%
  • 我听不懂。

    Votes: 35 3.1%
  • 何を言っているのですか?

    Votes: 28 2.5%
  • nuqneH pa'!

    Votes: 10 0.9%
  • فرانسه بلدنستم

    Votes: 7 0.6%

  • Total voters
    1,135
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Oh and one more thing!

once the rolls are all done, we will be seeing a rumor mill. A French Rumor mill.

pray for our little colony.
Adhoc vote count started by Magoose on Jun 9, 2021 at 6:49 PM, finished with 314 posts and 24 votes.

  • [X]Plan Done with this shit, Alea iacta est
    -[X]Chamans will be Reassigned under your Direct command, and the Reserves with them: You will take direct command of his forces.
    -[X]Keep them Here: As much as you hate to say it, Louis is safest here, in the Army.
    -[X]Time for a talk: You will split your army in 2. You will take Kleber, his corps, and the Reserve with you back to France, you need to have a nice long day chatting with The new First Consul, and make sure he is in the clear about how things are. Davout is going to lead the trip to Rome to have a talk with the Pope, he will take Dumas as reinforcement as a precaution. Louis and Charlotte will be under the care of Berthier and go with them. They have explicit orders of doing so in the most peaceful way possible, try to not take lives in the sacred city, and reign the anger when they depose the pope and reverse the ex-communication, afterward they will reunite with the rest of the army be it in the Rhine, be it in Paris.
    [X]Plan Rubicon of Souls
    -[X]Chamans will be Reassigned under your Direct command, and the Reserves with them: You will take direct command of his forces.
    -[X]Keep them Here: As much as you hate to say it, Louis is safest here, in the Army.
    -[X]Go Home: You are going to need to spend a nice long day chatting with The new First Consul. Something feels… wrong. Very Wrong.
    -[X]War of Souls: As long as Louis and Isabelle are willing, make very public announcements about their participation in the army, awarding distinctions upon Louis for his heroic contribution to the battle, and all three publicly converting to Protestantism, denouncing the Pope and Rome as corrupted by secular power, ally of royalty and enemy of the republic. Make sure to, on our way to Paris, send couriers with the best pamphlets you can compose to as many cities as you can, if possible to contacts of yours or your staff that you think will be distribute them even wider. The intent being to publicly establish that Louis Capet has broken with the Catholic church, protecting him from Royalist accusations, and bolster your popularit as defender of the republic against all enemies even if it is the Catholic Church.
    [X] Plan In Brian we trust
    -[X]Chamans will be Reassigned under your Direct command, and the Reserves with them: You will take direct command of his forces.
    -[X]Keep them Here: As much as you hate to say it, Louis is safest here, in the Army.
    -[X]When in Rome: You are excommunicated by the Catholic Church… you have an army of men who are also excommunicated by the Church. What else can they do? Damn your soul twice. You are no sinner… but what the Pope has done, is inexcusable to your heart… and to your men.
    [X] The Rubicon of Souls
 
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Thérèse: "I leave home for a few months and everything starts collapsing. Why do you two keep doing this?"

Brian: "To be fair, we never expected Robespierre to start arresting many officers."

Napoleon: "I expected this...and I tried to stop them.Except you stepped down."

Brian: "I stepped down to prove to the world I was no Caesar."

Napoleon: "And look where that got us? Half of Paris is on fire."

Thérèse: "Gentlemen please, Paris has been on fire for years and has been a hotbed for years, I'm just surprised that it took this long for it to start up again."

Brian: "So what's the backup plan, since the Republic has clearly fucked us over?."

Thérèse: "And whose fault is that?"

Napoleon: "Robespierre?"

Therese *Glares at him*

Napoleon: "Okay, there is a lot of blame to share, on all parties, but he was the driving factor when he attempted to start a series of murders with state authority."

Louis walks in: "Can I kill you both?"

Therese: "Louis, that is not how you should talk to people!"

Louis: "But both these idiots are the reason we're in this mess, if they had thought about it and if Brian had not decided to allow his morals to control him and stop Robespierre before he could kill himself, and if Napoleon didn't manipulate him into creating the chaotic situation that now plagues us, none of this would have happened."

Napoleon: "Actually this problem would have still happened, just with a greater reign of terror by Robe and his radicals…"

Brian: "And Who's fault is it for radicalizing them in the first place?!"

Napoleon: "The Austrians...by their own hand when the Convention killed Citizen Capet and his wife, disregarding his rights as a French citizen to do it. And don't give me the bullshit of him getting a trial, we all knew it was a farce anyway."

Brian: "And the one we gave Robespierre wasn't?"

Napoleon: "We had to worry about a tainted court and frightened witnesses at the time."

Thérèse: "Well great now we have a situation...now how are you going to fix it?"

Napoleon: "I have one idea."

Thérèse: "Oh No."


AN: I blame you Cyber for playing Tales of Vesperia.

Now we get a skit.
 
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Thérèse: "Well great now we have a situation...now how are you going to fix it?"

Napoleon: "I have one idea."

Thérèse: "Oh No."
Brian: "Napoleon Bonaparte Auclair, NO!"

Napoleon: "Napoleon Bonaparte Auclair, YES!"

Thérèse: "You're taking my name?"

Napoleon: "Empress Auclair sounds more regal than Empress Bonaparte."

Thérèse: *not sure whether to slap himbo or cry*

Louis: *loads blunderbuss with malicious intent*
 
Robe got executed because he made a mistake, and in a sense, killed himself in the OTL.
No sucide by cop? I was half expecting that to be his way to go though making a grand speach just before the guillotine also works I suppose. Guess it's a metaphorical load off our shoulders and a literal one off his.
 
It feels like everyone is taking my joke a little too seriously.

But okay.
 
I feel like writing another skit tonight, any one up for that with our boys going out to kick ass in rome or elsewhere?
 
I feel like writing another skit tonight, any one up for that with our boys going out to kick ass in rome or elsewhere?
I'd be up for that. Of course, I'd also be up for a skit about a club of British gentlemen all harrumphing at the mention of Therese's name, and then they all convene at a book club to read the newest novel about her.
 
I'd be up for that. Of course, I'd also be up for a skit about a club of British gentlemen all harrumphing at the mention of Therese's name, and then they all convene at a book club to read the newest novel about her.
All while saying that whoever that Charles writer is needs to be applauded for mastery of the English language! :V

The irony is strong with this one.
 
Davout: I cannot believe we get the easy mission?

Severin: Easy? I get to tell the pope to go fuck himself! This is worth it alone.

Murat: I don't believe that is a fun thing. Our immortal souls are at sake.

Severin: You both are so dour, take this as an opportunity to express your faith in the revolution!

Murat: Why did you bring him with us, General?

Davout: He was being insufferable, and General Auclair wanted him to be out of her hair, now we're stuck with him.

Charlotte: At least Louis is… coping with the new situation.

Louis: I want to shoot the pope… not kill him, shoot him.

Charlotte: I'm still worried for him.

Murat: At least he's got righteous anger in his veins rather than impudent rage.

Charlotte: You call suicidal courage better than rage?

Davout: The boy has his faults, but he is a good soldier, and your brother is not a careless one like I have seen so many others. And despite the horror he has suffered, he seems to believe in what we are doing is right.

Charlotte: Louis is a child, he does not know a single thing about what is right and wrong?

Davout: And you do?

Charlotte: *Frowns*

Murat: I believe that we grow in wisdom in our age, and we must take into account all the things in our life that is worth fighting for. And we must do so or perish, alone and without love.

Louis: I see the pope, can i shoot him?

Severin: Shoot him in the balls!
 
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