Harry Potter and the Skittering Spouse

"He pulls a knife, you pull a gun, he sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way."
Oh wait, this Taylor hasn't spent the last couple years living in Chicago, she's still from the wretched hive of scum and villainy known as Brockton Bay.
 
You mean she has not yet mellowed down to Chicago way?
Yeah, she is still a Brocktonite. "Something doesn't work? Escalate until it does"

*Small snippet Omake*
Harry arrives at Grimmauld place after working, Taylor is chatting with Walburga....and sees him looking really down.
"Walburga, give me a minute?"
"Of course, dear"
"Kreacher?" "Yes, Scary Spider mistress?" "Give a message to Atlas, I may need his services to get rid of someone" "Yes, Mistress"
Taylor takes Harry by the arm, takes his jacket, sits him in front of the Fireplace and begins to rub his shoulders.
"So?"
"So what?"
"Who do I have to feed them?"
"Taylor, not everything can be solved by feeding it to your Acromantula Colony"
"Harry, you know me, I will try until it works, its the Hebert way"
 
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Not really, Hermione was operating on a war time level of thinking, even if it's only subconsciously. She did nothing wrong by giving Marietta a clear mark that she betrayed Hermione and everyone else's trust.
The UN convention on the definition of war crimes disagrees. But I'm sure you know better.
 
The UN convention on the definition of war crimes disagrees. But I'm sure you know better.
Explain, please? I fail to see how giving somebody acne that wears off in two years counts as any sort of war crime, or crime period.

She flat out told everyone that telling people about the DA would notify her of their treachery...

It's not Hermione's fault if every damn body signed without asking her to clarify exactly how the contract would do that.

If you buy anything under contract without reading the fine print, asking questions about anything you don't understand and knowing exactly what you're signing, you are an idiot.

Edit: Hermione, by definition cannot commit a war crime, as war crimes are for acts of a state, or personnel engaged in warfare.

Hermione was a schoolgirl, not a combatant of any kind, and can not be charged with a war crime.
 
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The UN convention on the definition of war crimes disagrees. But I'm sure you know better.

As others have said that's not accurate in the slightest. Frankly Marietta got what she deserved in my opinion, she signed a contract and broke it knowingly. Even in our world that's a pretty open and shut case. If Marietta was some first year Muggleborn kid who had no idea that Magic can be used to punish contract breakers it might be extreme, but she isn't. I don't think there were any first years at all in the DA, but I could be wrong. Regardless Marietta was a sixth year Ravenclaw who decided to be an oath breaker after being warned, she should've known better than to fuck with Hermione. Hermione had a pretty clear reputation by that point. And it wasn't even permanent.

could go with the whole Hebert-Potter thing like hermione did with granger-weasley.

I'm fairly sure Taylor's out of luck there since she didn't likely specify it during the actual marriage due to being drunk. I kind of doubt Magic would let her try to change her name after the fact, since saying it's something else could be seen as a form of betrayal of her Marriage Oath to Harry.
 
Meanwhile, I'm just waiting for Taylor to realize what it means that it's 1996.
I'm certain she's noticed over the last two or three days ("weird timeline divergence, but whatever, I've got more important things to think about"), but I don't know that she's stopped to consider the implications.

Namely, the internet barely exists compared to 2011. There's no Wikipedia, there's no YouTube, and where the hell is she supposed to get military field manuals? The bookstore?

The readily available phonebooks are handy, though.
 
There's no Wikipedia, there's no YouTube, and where the hell is she supposed to get military field manuals? The bookstore?
There was this company called Paladin Press. They reprinted and sold things in a genre they called "action topics" it covered reprints of military manuals, small press fighting knife manuals, books on detective tactics, how to build a silencer, prepper and home steadying stuff and things of that nature, as well as some terrible fiction.
The quality and accuracy dropped rapidly the further you got from the Department of Defense and cold war fall out prep stuff but it existed. I remember a useless "how to be a hitman" book.
I think they used to advertise in like Solder of Fortune and the more out there gun magazines. But if you looked around you could indeed find there stuff in bookstores. Shadyass book stores trying to look cool for mall ninjas. I'm sure there was something of the sort some places in London.
Actually looks like it went out of business in 2018, that's a bit longer than I had thought.
 
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Meanwhile, I'm just waiting for Taylor to realize what it means that it's 1996.
I'm certain she's noticed over the last two or three days ("weird timeline divergence, but whatever, I've got more important things to think about"), but I don't know that she's stopped to consider the implications.

Namely, the internet barely exists compared to 2011. There's no Wikipedia, there's no YouTube, and where the hell is she supposed to get military field manuals? The bookstore?

The readily available phonebooks are handy, though.
You could pick up Korean war and WWII surplus military manuals pretty easily in a lot of used book or military consignment stores. There were also, in Europe, truckloads of excess USSR munitions and hardware floating around. This isn't even mentioning The Troubles still in the midst of winding down in Ireland.

The 90s were wild. With enough street smarts and a way into Europe anyone could play "build your own terrorist group."
 
I'd say Taylor should play the stock market...

But her world likely has different companies being big and successful in 2011. For example, Google could have been a failure, with Yahoo being THE search engine.
 
I'd say Taylor should play the stock market...

But her world likely has different companies being big and successful in 2011. For example, Google could have been a failure, with Yahoo being THE search engine.

Or Ask Jeeves. I remember having to code in filters for each of my searches to get proper results when I was younger before Google. It was such a pain in the ass, I'm glad its mostly gone.
 
I suspect that spending time on trying to make money based on dubious foreknowledge is not a good use of Taylor's time and resources. Time since she has better stuff to do and still needs to learn a lot about the mess she was just dropped in. Resources because investing in stuff means not having the money right now and the situation isn't exactly going to wait for her to get a return on any investment...
 
I suspect that spending time on trying to make money based on dubious foreknowledge is not a good use of Taylor's time and resources. Time since she has better stuff to do and still needs to learn a lot about the mess she was just dropped in. Resources because investing in stuff means not having the money right now and the situation isn't exactly going to wait for her to get a return on any investment...

Oh that's very true that it'd be a waste of Taylor's time and energy, but that's because she's now filthy rich. Disregarding the Potter Vaults, Harry just inherited the entire fortune of the Black Family, who were obscenely rich even by Wizarding standards. Wizard fortunes seem to generally be pretty large if they're part of an older family simply because compound interest is a thing. The Weasley's dire straits seems to be the exception to the rule.

As for why I said Potter Vaults, it's because no sane parent would leave their family's entire ancestral fortune to a toddler if they were to unfortunately die. Lily at the very least wouldn't have allowed it. The vault we see Harry access in Years One and Two is very likely a trust vault and is just a small fraction of the total wealth in the main Potter vault. The Potters were likely just as wealthy as the Blacks, potentially more since they are descended from the Peverells who were around a long, long time ago.
 
Oh that's very true that it'd be a waste of Taylor's time and energy, but that's because she's now filthy rich. Disregarding the Potter Vaults, Harry just inherited the entire fortune of the Black Family, who were obscenely rich even by Wizarding standards. Wizard fortunes seem to generally be pretty large if they're part of an older family simply because compound interest is a thing. The Weasley's dire straits seems to be the exception to the rule.

As for why I said Potter Vaults, it's because no sane parent would leave their family's entire ancestral fortune to a toddler if they were to unfortunately die. Lily at the very least wouldn't have allowed it. The vault we see Harry access in Years One and Two is very likely a trust vault and is just a small fraction of the total wealth in the main Potter vault. The Potters were likely just as wealthy as the Blacks, potentially more since they are descended from the Peverells who were around a long, long time ago.
There's a decent amount of assumptions in that. Like, are other vaults ever mentioned or are you assuming a logical leap that there should be more than the one? Cuz it feels like the latter. And then further those other vaults must have more money in them by a vast amount based on, like, how you would handle money I guess? And then further that amount needs to be filthy stinking rich money because Peverells are old and surely nothing happened to stop accumulation of wealth between then and now I guess?
 

I guess you could see it that way, but it's just logical extrapolation from Canon clues. Of the grand total of 4 vaults we see in Canon (I think it's just 4, but I could be wrong), two, Harry's and Bellatrix's, are absolutely stuffed to the brim with Galleons. The other two are apparently anomalies since one is the vault where Hagrid picks up the Philosopher's Stone, and the other is the Weasley vault. The Stone's vault was almost completely empty if I remember correctly, just a package wrapped in brown paper laying on the ground in the middle of it. So that was likely a temporary transfer vault set up for a trusted person to get the Stone. As for the other one, well the Weasley's are consistently noted to be exceptionally poor comparatively to almost all other Wizarding families. They aren't in poverty, but they are pretty much the only family noted to be using second hand items like clothes. Everyone else is from a pretty well off family, and if the family lines are so exceptionally long that accumulation of wealth wouldn't ever really stop would it? Like I said compound interest is a thing. Even if it just sits in the account for decades or centuries, it'd start to add up pretty fast wouldn't it.

So I mean yes technically those are all assumptions, but only because Rowling didn't do exceptional World-building and left rather large holes that others have to fill. Still it all depends on how @Fencer wants to play it in this Fic, so this could be an entirely moot discussion. Regardless Taylor and Harry are obscenely rich due to Harry inheriting the Black vaults from Sirius, I'm pretty sure that fact is 100% Canon.
 
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Everyone else is from a pretty well off family, and if the family lines are so exceptionally long that accumulation of wealth wouldn't ever really stop would it? Like I said compound interest is a thing. Even if it just sits in the account for decades or centuries, it'd start to add up pretty fast wouldn't it.
I think the setting does follow this, but the logic here isn't actually that sound.

Wealthy families can stop being that by ceasing to be wealthy rather than by failing to continue as a family.

And if you're storing your money as heaps of coins in a vault, there shouldn't be any interest whatsoever. In fact, you'd expect to be charged money for the privilege of keeping your money there. Banks don't pay interest because they have a fetish for handling people's currency, they pay interest because they're allowed to make money by loaning out the money deposited with them. I'm fairly sure there's nothing resembling useful canon about an actual coherent wizarding economy, so it's somewhat unclear how wizard families get rich (or indeed get any money at all unless they're Ministry employees or shopkeepers) but it seems fairly likely interest as such isn't how. (Which isn't actually weird - moneylenders can get wealthy, but are rarely the main wealthy group. And there are many other ways to use money to make more money.)
 
Fair enough, I'll freely admit that finances are way beyond my expertise, I can balance my budget and that's about it. That being said Gringotts is a bank so I think they do loans. Again Canon really doesn't cover it, but it's repeatedly stated to be a bank.
Oh yes, the goblins do do seem to do loans as well as vaults. But moneylending greatly predates depository banking, so that's not actually weird either.


Though one could imagine a scenario where Gringotts is actually running a fractional-reserve depository banking strategy, and hiding that fact by shuffling gold into whichever vaults wizards are looking at right now. (Further, perhaps that's why they have the bizarre lengthy transit to the vaults - to buy time for the stocking team in case of an unexpected viisit.)
 
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