Harry Potter and the Skittering Spouse

The wizarding world will never be the same if Taylor manages to weaponize Mandrakes.

Seriously, weaponized Mandrakes are a NIGHTMARE.

I don't think we need to worry about that occurring. Potterverse Mandrakes are, if I remember correctly, something that takes considerable time to grow given how long certain students remained petrified in Year 2. She could probably weaponize some plants though like that mimble-thingy Neville had on the Express at the start of Year 5. But I don't think she'll be throwing them out like grenades Soma Cruz style anytime soon.
 
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The wizarding world will never be the same if Taylor manages to weaponize Mandrakes.

Seriously, weaponized Mandrakes are a NIGHTMARE.
*Is thinking*
I don't think we need to worry about that occurring. Potterverse Mandrakes are, if I remember correctly, something that takes considerable time to grow given how long certain students remained petrified in Year 2. She could probably weaponize some plants though like that mimble-thingy Neville had on the Express at the start of Year 5. But I don't think she'll be throwing them out like grenades Soma Cruz style anytime soon.
Now hold on, lets not be hasty here. The early stages are handled by second years and presumably the older students deal with them when they get to the point their screams are lethal. This is probably something that gets grown in house yearly. Now it would take some creativity given they are not insects, but the idea of using mandrakes as landmines shouldn't be discounted out of hand.
 
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*Is thinking*

Now hold on, lets not be hasty here. The early stages are handled by second years and presumably the older students deal with them when they get to the point their screams are lethal. This is probably something that gets grown in house yearly. Now it would take some creativity given they are not insects, but the idea of using mandrakes as landmines shouldn't be discounted out of hand.
Probably easier and faster to just make potions though... also less risk for your own side.

Seeing how a first year with the simplest potion can cause an explosion with material damaging enough to need medicalattention....
 
Now hold on, lets not be hasty here. The early stages are handled by second years and presumably the older students deal with them when they get to the point their screams are lethal. This is probably something that gets grown in house yearly. Now it would take some creativity given they are not insects, but the idea of using mandrakes as landmines shouldn't be discounted out of hand.

I mean you aren't wrong, but the time to grow really limits the usefulness. I'm not saying it can't happen once or twice, it obviously could, but I'm not seeing it occur regularly. Plus they are very much not very safe for your own allies. Even Taylor might not be safe, depending on how you want to interpret the scream.
 
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When Taylor learns about Peruvian Darkness Powder she needs to make a comment about how her ex-boyfriend had the exact same power.
 
When Taylor learns about Peruvian Darkness Powder she needs to make a comment about how her ex-boyfriend had the exact same power.
Her actual boyfriend, I am not sure she even dumped him yet, and if she did, it isn't because she is interested in ending the relationship, it was because she was sacrificing herself for the PRT.
 
I mean you aren't wrong, but the time to grow really limits the usefulness. I'm not saying it can't happen once or twice, it obviously could, but I'm not seeing it occur regularly. Plus they are very much not very safe for your own allies. Even Taylor might not be safe, depending on how you want to interpret the scream.
The Wizarding World has all sorts of options great for doing Skitter-y things, and that very variety means that some are just better than others. Mandrakes can kill or incapacitate everyone in the area by screaming. Sounds great if you want to mess up your enemies. ...but what goes into that? What's the weighted return on investment? Is a given option, however useful, worth doing compared to some other option that is just more useful?

Given the simple time required, and the particular circumstances that would be required for mandrakes to be useful with that time taken into account, Taylor could well just indeed prioritise something else. That said, decidedly undesirable and inconvenient though her circumstances are, they do come with some perks. The new Mrs. Potter has money. The Potters were well off, and the Blacks too. If she could just buy mandrakes ready for use, that could make it a lot easier to determine not so niche circumstances where that option might be worthwhile to take up, though that same money also opens up other options for what else might be convenient and by what degree.
 
Her actual boyfriend, I am not sure she even dumped him yet, and if she did, it isn't because she is interested in ending the relationship, it was because she was sacrificing herself for the PRT.

She dumped him, she was already in the PRT building before being grabbed by Contessa, though calling Brian her boyfriend implied he was actually committed to the relationship which he really wasn't. If I remember correctly Taylor and he slept together all of one time after the S9 went through the bay. They really didn't have a relationship to be honest. Brian was an incredibly shitty guy, though to be a little fair to him he was getting over being traumatized by Bonesaw. Still a really shitty guy though, he was alright with Dinah being kidnapped and drugged by Coil. Lisa at least had the excuse that she would only end up being in the exact same situation as Dinah if she didn't cooperate, the rest of the Undersiders just went along with it, minus Taylor who walked out. Then Leviathan showed up. So yeah the TL;DR is that Brian isn't qualified to be her boyfriend. Taylor did some terrible things, but she never hurt a child out of malice or inaction. And before anyone starts screaming about Aster remember that this Taylor hasn't done that and even then it was an act of mercy to save her from Jack and potentially saving the world for all she knew. It obviously wasn't, and was a horrible situation, but it was not done out of malice.

The new Mrs. Potter has money. The Potters were well off, and the Blacks too.

Yep, Taylor isn't going to have to worry about being supported by her new husband. She's incredibly wealthy now. Stupidly so. Not that she's likely going to be anything other than frugal, she was not exactly wealthy before the cape life and once you live like that you really don't ever change, not with her character or personality, or even most people's personalities. There are exceptions of course, but I don't think Taylor is one of them. I don't think she'll go out of her way to buy Mandrakes, they can be deadly, but it's an easily solvable problem by any Wizard or Witch, so that trick isn't worth using more than once, maybe twice if she's really sneaky.

A thought occurs to me, but I kind of doubt Taylor will support Harry's plan of becoming an Auror. She's not exactly going to want her husband risking his life repeatedly for strangers who don't really appreciate him, and she can rightfully point out that Harry hates being the chosen one, why he wants to be put into a position that will absolutely emphasize that role if he were to actually do it is kind of crazy.

Honestly Harry would make a better teacher, and so would Taylor. She might be able to take over Hagrid's job eventually, and being a very effective Muggle Studies teacher would suit her I think. Plus magic castle, she's going to love Hogwarts as a location. Not necessarily the people there, but the actual building? Yeah she's going to wish she could tell her mother about it.
 
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Yep, Taylor isn't going to have to worry about being supported by her new husband. She's incredibly wealthy now. Stupidly so. Not that she's likely going to be anything other than frugal, she was not exactly wealthy before the cape life and once you live like that you really don't ever change, not with her character or personality, or even most people's personalities. There are exceptions of course, but I don't think Taylor is one of them. I don't think she'll go out of her way to buy Mandrakes, they can be deadly, but it's an easily solvable problem by any Wizard or Witch, so that trick isn't worth using more than once, maybe twice if she's really sneaky.
Eh, most things at least in theory could be dealt with easily by most witches and wizards. That potential could still be left wanting, though.

In the case of mandrakes specifically, I think Taylor stands to be more likely to be interested in them than some options over perception; mandrakes being able to kill anyone hearing them screaming is something that could stand out to Taylor above less eye-catching alternatives if she's looking for dangerous things. Even if a mandrake can be neatly neutralised by a simple silencing charm, Taylor could well get the idea that if her targets just don't know to take precautions and the right ones, she only needs to get lucky once to potentially do something worthwhile easily. If she could arrange some trap or surprise attack that nets her a whole group of kills—or even just one, really—amongst an enemy with not too terribly large numbers for buying a scary houseplant and getting it in the right spot, that might seem a good buy to go for to her.

Regardless, though, Taylor has gotten her hands on quite the war chest to work with. I can't say that I especially envy the Death Eaters, because I expect her to put it to good use.

Especially since potions are exactly the sort of thing that would synergize well with insect control. Both as weapons for the insects, and a means of augmenting them.
That's also a thing with her, something she has already thought of herself and very prominently used, familiar ground. That was precisely how she dealt with Lung the second time, just doping up some bugs and having other bugs ferry the payload. It worked great for dealing with something that otherwise would have been a nightmare or just not possible, and she took note of that and kept up the tactic because it indeed was pretty handy. The Wizarding World has all kinds of potions and other substances that can do all sorts of things, and plenty of them easy enough for a non-professional to whip up over the course of a class period with properly stocked supplies or just bought at a shop.
 
Eh, most things at least in theory could be dealt with easily by most witches and wizards. That potential could still be left wanting, though.

In the case of mandrakes specifically, I think Taylor stands to be more likely to be interested in them than some options over perception; mandrakes being able to kill anyone hearing them screaming is something that could stand out to Taylor above less eye-catching alternatives if she's looking for dangerous things. Even if a mandrake can be neatly neutralised by a simple silencing charm, Taylor could well get the idea that if her targets just don't know to take precautions and the right ones, she only needs to get lucky once to potentially do something worthwhile easily. If she could arrange some trap or surprise attack that nets her a whole group of kills—or even just one, really—amongst an enemy with not too terribly large numbers for buying a scary houseplant and getting it in the right spot, that might seem a good buy to go for to her.

Regardless, though, Taylor has gotten her hands on quite the war chest to work with. I can't say that I especially envy the Death Eaters, because I expect her to put it to good use.


That's also a thing with her, something she has already thought of herself and very prominently used, familiar ground. That was precisely how she dealt with Lung the second time, just doping up some bugs and having other bugs ferry the payload. It worked great for dealing with something that otherwise would have been a nightmare or just not possible, and she took note of that and kept up the tactic because it indeed was pretty handy. The Wizarding World has all kinds of potions and other substances that can do all sorts of things, and plenty of them easy enough for a non-professional to whip up over the course of a class period with properly stocked supplies or just bought at a shop.
true, I guess. she isn't really known as Queen of escalation for her tendency to disregard potential weapons.

So really, the only reason we shouldn't expect a fenns of those henches from the third task in the goblet of fire backed by whopping willows on a lawn of devil's vine is that it's easy to spot.
 

I'm not disagreeing, though I think she'd be a bit wary at how easy it could be for a Mandrake to affect an innocent person like a kid. But yeah they'd be something she'd look at. As would potions, Draught of the Living Death is one that I could see being used, as well as Felix Felicis. That one is going to be something she's going to want at least a small supply of for "just in case really, really bad shit is happening" emergency situations. That and Phoenix Tears. Which reminds me, I wonder if she'll ask Harry to learn how to use a sword given that he can potentially use the Sword of Gryffindor once that comes up, or if she'll take the chance to do the same with her knives. That's probably a mid to long term goal for her though.
 
Which reminds me, I wonder if she'll ask Harry to learn how to use a sword given that he can potentially use the Sword of Gryffindor once that comes up
Sword isn't as useful as magic, he is much better getting off his lazy ass and learning some actual offensive spells.

Imagine the final fight, both of them are off against Voldemort, bug swarm, potions and enchanted objects allows Taylor to contend and counter Voldemort while Harry is sending spells, only for Voldemort to be distracted, one of their friends ran to him through the swarm, sacrificing himself and giving Harry his shot, which Harry take without hesitation.

Voldemort can only stand and stare at Harry, incredulous expression on his face, before using wandless summoning charm to get his wand back, wondering if there was some kind of a trick, was he being mocked?
 
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Sword isn't as useful as magic, he is much better getting off his lazy ass and learning some actual offensive spells.

Imagine the final fight, both of them are off against Voldemort, bug swarm, potions and enchanted objects allows Taylor to contend and counter Voldemort while Harry is sending spells, only for Voldemort to be distracted, one of their friends ran to him through the swarm, sacrificing himself and giving Harry his shot, which Harry take without hesitation.

Voldemort can only stand and stare at Harry, incredulous expression on his face, before using wandless summoning charm to get his wand back, wondering if there was some kind of a trick, was he being mocked?

I mean for a normal sword sure it's not particularly useful, but learning it for using the Sword of Gryffindor is a different story. That thing can kill with a scratch. It'd not work on Voldemort, but a troll? Or a giant? Or a dragon? Potentially very useful. But no of course it wouldn't be something he'd learn to use over magic spells. But planning for eventualities where he's unable to use magic, like say right now since he's away from Hogwarts, learning how to use a sword wouldn't be amiss and might be something Taylor would suggest as useful to learn. Heck I bet the Black vaults have a Goblin forged blade or three in them. If there's a dagger there I could see Taylor getting one and getting some venom from the corpse of the basilisk as a good hold out weapon. The body probably isn't even decayed yet. It was over a 1,000 years old, I kind of doubt it's going to be decaying particularly fast. It's probably so stuffed full of magic that it'll keep for a decade or two. At least I don't remember it being ever brought up again really.
 
I'm not disagreeing, though I think she'd be a bit wary at how easy it could be for a Mandrake to affect an innocent person like a kid.
Circumstantial. Taylor could look at something like a mandrake and get starry-eyed thinking about how it could kill everybody in the room, but realise that it could kill everybody in the room, and that that does not detract from the fact that it can kill everybody in the room. Bomb, mandrake, hungry fire, big scary monsters, whatever, care would be needed to see that it wouldn't do something undesirable, but specifically because it is indeed really good at what it does.

Big scary monsters does also raise another consideration, too. Taylor has a penchant for getting pretty inventive, and that's driven at least in part by kind of needing to be creative when her power isn't so suited at just smashing things. Now, though... well a great big spider the size of a horse—possibly with a whole lot of friends—doesn't need to be employed creatively to be scary. It just as well could be used in inventive ways, but the Wizarding World has some options that could allow Taylor to be decidedly more straightforward when the fancy strikes her.

The synergy really does sound rather terrifying, though. Taylor is already a practiced expert at being terrifying, but invisible giant spiders that are fireproof or something just isn't fair, just not fair at all. Possibly actually worse, though, in the case of some types of unreasonably sized magical spiders, they're individually capable of intelligible speech, all on their own, so a given Death Eater might be abruptly struck with a targeted phobia of a whole legion of spiders from hell singing war chants or something, or playing mind games taunting and making promises to their prey as they stalk.

true, I guess. she isn't really known as Queen of escalation for her tendency to disregard potential weapons.

So really, the only reason we shouldn't expect a fenns of those henches from the third task in the goblet of fire backed by whopping willows on a lawn of devil's vine is that it's easy to spot.
Nah, double-bluff deterrence value. Them being blatantly obvious is the point. Obviously one shouldn't try their way with those things, and should thus aim for a more vulnerable opening, like the fence gate, except the fence gate will naturally be specifically hardened because it's the most vulnerable spot and thus actually the best protected, encouraging intruders to instead think that the best thing to do is to deliberately pick a fight with the murder shrubbery... or just go headlong into the teeth of the gate, either works.

I'm quite entertained by the idea of Taylor using Moody as inspiration. If she can just make her new place sufficiently ludicrously scary, Death Eaters drive themselves to strokes with worry, die horribly, or sit outside trying to be sure about it all out before attacking, so the walls and wards do their job in the end. Moody is mad, but that doesn't have to mean he's wrong!

Sword isn't as useful as magic, he is much better getting off his lazy ass and learning some actual offensive spells.

Imagine the final fight, both if them are off against Voldemort, bug swarm, potions and enchanted objects allows Taylor to contend and counter Voldemort while Harry is sending spells, only for Voldemort to be distracted, one of their friends ran to him through the swarm, sacrificing himself and giving Harry his shot, which Harry take without hesitation.

Voldemort can only stand and stare at Harry, incredulous expression on his face, before using wandless summoning charm to get his wand back, wondering if there was some kind of a trick, was he being mocked?
Against a lot of enemies, disarmament can go a long way towards neutralisation. Witches and wizards can pull off all kinds of crazy shenanigans, but it tends to be summarily rendered irrelevant if they just don't have a wand for it. An enemy missing half their leg or sporting a necktie strangling them or something might be quite out of the fight, but, hey, maybe they do pull together the focus to pay it straight back despite bleeding out or whatever, except not without a wand.

Against the one guy who is the single most important enemy of all, though, who makes a specific point of singling out Harry whenever possible, is very good at pulling that off, is doing his level best to murder the crap out of him, and has casually show off that that sort of thing does diddly to stop him—probably because he indeed realised what a problem it would be to not have his wand and made sure to address that—yeah... maybe it might be a good idea to try something else that isn't kinda pointless. Might help a bit. It might not work, but hey, being a boneless lump or a canary sure does tend to be distracting at least.

I have to wonder if maybe Taylor will push Harry towards a rather more literal disarming, and if actually it will none the less not suffice and backfire and be deflected to, perhaps inevitably, leave Taylor standing there sighing as her arm falls off.
 
The synergy really does sound rather terrifying, though. Taylor is already a practiced expert at being terrifying, but invisible giant spiders that are fireproof or something just isn't fair, just not fair at all. Possibly actually worse, though, in the case of some types of unreasonably sized magical spiders, they're individually capable of intelligible speech, all on their own, so a given Death Eater might be abruptly struck with a targeted phobia of a whole legion of spiders from hell singing war chants or something, or playing mind games taunting and making promises to their prey as they stalk.

I'm quite entertained by the idea of Taylor using Moody as inspiration. If she can just make her new place sufficiently ludicrously scary, Death Eaters drive themselves to strokes with worry, die horribly, or sit outside trying to be sure about it all out before attacking, so the walls and wards do their job in the end. Moody is mad, but that doesn't have to mean he's wrong!

Fair enough, and yeah Taylor's going to have fun. Though Acromantula aren't going to be the end all be all, since I'm fairly sure Voldy has the Giants on his side, they're going to be another useful tool in Taylor's arsenal.

As for Moody, yeah he and Taylor are going to get on like a house on fire, maybe even literally. I've said before that I could foresee a kid being named after "Grandpa Moody". It'll be a riot. I hope he appears in the story soon. Moody is going to love the shit out of Taylor. Ruthless and paranoid.

You mean the basilisk venom that lets it destroy Horcruxes? Wouldn't work, the SoG was made of a special goblin metal that let it absorbe the venoms properties. And good luck getting them to make you a knife of that stuff.

True, and I'm not disagreeing you're probably right it'd be hard to come by. But the Blacks and Potters are old, old families. They very well might have some in their vaults bought from the Goblins or potentially as trophies from one of the Goblin wars.
 
Circumstantial. Taylor could look at something like a mandrake and get starry-eyed thinking about how it could kill everybody in the room, but realise that it could kill everybody in the room, and that that does not detract from the fact that it can kill everybody in the room. Bomb, mandrake, hungry fire, big scary monsters, whatever, care would be needed to see that it wouldn't do something undesirable, but specifically because it is indeed really good at what it does.

Good enough earmuffs likely stop it. The second years had them for the babies. So, either the muffs are enchanted or being deaf makes you immune.

Basilisk is a similar thing, killing everyone who looks sees its eyes and paralyzing or turning to stone any one who indirectly sees its eyes. Taylor... I feel she'd be able to see it through bugs. They're not looking it in the eyes and even if they do... Not her.

I mean for a normal sword sure it's not particularly useful, but learning it for using the Sword of Gryffindor is a different story. That thing can kill with a scratch.

More reason to be trained. Imagine Harry being clumsy and cutting himself with his own sword. Unless Fawkes' tears makes him immune even 3 years later... He's dead.

Plus, with magic he could maybe do some Jedi shit. Throw the sword at a foe and summon it back. The summon might get them.

Another thing I thought of for Taylor to react to: trying to wrap her head around the currency system.

Taylor: It's because the Wizards suck at math and refuse to improve?
Goblins: ...Yes.
 
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More reason to be trained. Imagine Harry being clumsy and cutting himself with his own sword. Unless Fawkes' tears makes him immune even 3 years later... He's dead.

Plus, with magic he could maybe do some Jedi shit. Throw the sword at a foe and summon it back. The summon might get them.

That was what I was hinting at. Seriously Dumbledore just planned to let Harry pick it up without a sheathe after he died in Canon, that was beyond stupid. A bit of training with a sword will do Harry some good. And it'd be a way to improve himself without using magic as I've said before. The summoning trick would work very likely, but it'd be a dangerous move to Harry as well. He'd need to be very, very careful with it, or he could end up skewering himself on it. There was a good reason he and Hermione practiced the summoning charm with pillows before the First Task if I remember correctly.
 
Good enough earmuffs likely stop it. The second years had them for the babies. So, either the muffs are enchanted or being deaf makes you immune.

Basilisk is a similar thing, killing everyone who looks sees its eyes and paralyzing or turning to stone any one who indirectly sees its eyes. Taylor... I feel she'd be able to see it through bugs. They're not looking it in the eyes and even if they do... Not her.
That sort of thing was noted. Few things are any sort of foolproof, and even a very average witch or wizard who only did okayish in school is likely to have all sorts of counters and protections that they could employ against a vast variety of problems. That doesn't mean that a given measure for Skitter-ing enemies can't be useful regardless; if a way to deal with something isn't actually used, the fact that it could, however easily, does nothing to change the results.

As far as the specific subject of basilisks are concerned, though, that seems something that might just never come up. They're very good at killing, which could be useful, but I think Harry and Taylor would end up deciding against it if they were considered. Whether or not there may be something complicated in the incubation process and whether or not it could be figured out, there's some degree of time investment required before a viable product is available for use, for one. Further, there's a lot of ambiguity that would be tricky to test and high-stakes when basilisks are indeed so lethal; Harry might be able to employ magical murdersnakes very well, possibly, but Voldemort may or may not be able to seriously compromise that for similar reasons, raising questions about what might result of two different parselmouths involved as adversaries, and the enemy one possibly more capable on some way that might matter, plus Harry's accountings of the last basilisk that he dealt with puts a worrisome uncertainty as to how safe it'd be to see through bugs when basilisks seem to have seriously magically potent gazes with very consequential effects happening to people who saw it indirectly and one that saw it directly, yes, but was a freaking ghost and still got hit hard by it. All in all, it comes across as something that Harry and Taylor might likely evaluate as just not promising enough to pursue.

More reason to be trained. Imagine Harry being clumsy and cutting himself with his own sword. Unless Fawkes' tears makes him immune even 3 years later... He's dead.

Plus, with magic he could maybe do some Jedi shit. Throw the sword at a foe and summon it back. The summon might get them.
Swords do take considerable time to learn to use well, and a whole hell of a lot of work. Still, there could perhaps be ways to work around such requirements with magical assistance somehow, and if Harry could just get some hammerspace pocket or whatever to keep it in, Gryffindor's could be something that'd just be nice to have; it may not be some amazing solution to everything, but being able to whip out a sword when convenient sure would be convenient.

One of the significant considerations regarding any kind of intentional employment of the basilisk venom, though, would be motivation. Gryffindor's sword could be very handy for dealing with some perceivable key issues, but actually being aware of such a need and the possibility of the sword to address such needs are prerequisites. That said, Harry and Taylor do appear to be on the right track.

They were able to guess and put together a reasonable suspicion about the significance of the diary horcrux, how mattered, and the existence of other things like it. Harry also of course knows how he dealt with it. They might not know just how and why basilisk venom in particular is something that is amongst the precious few means of destroying their expected hypothetical targets, but Harry does know that the diary didn't seem fazed in the slightest by any prior mistreatment and stabbing the book with a basilisk fang worked great; maybe that was some property of the diary being mundanely fragile in the face of jabbing it with a big ol' tooth such that something hardier even without magic being involved might not care, or maybe the ludicrously lethal magic of basilisks is just that potent, but it's a very solid start.

Conveniently enough, too, though the imbued sword might circumstantially be troublesome to get or keep, Harry and Taylor could perfectly well do as Ron and Hermione do in canon and just go back to the source. The corpse is still down there, full of teeth full of the special venom of absurdly fatal doom, and it's viable in canon at least up to a later point. Perhaps more importantly, too, regardless of any aims for using basilisk venom specifically for dealing with the lich guy's phylactery things holding his soul, Taylor could entirely reasonably just want the venom for poisoning people.

If Harry tells Taylor about his second year, as could easily well enough happen, particularly for the significance of the diary, Taylor might pick up on there being an effectively untreatable fatal poison that she could get her hands on. Alternatively, she could make discoveries when doing some very basic research about dangerous things that the Wizarding World has to offer, and one of the most prominent ones within that, which could itself dovetail into Harry talking with her about it. Taylor having any sort of inquisitive aspirations about maybe acquiring basilisk venom somehow could very straightforwardly result in her learning that it is in fact possible and simple. From there, Taylor's trick of using sacrificial bugs and others to ferry them or otherwise just put venom somewhere consequential could give some folks a very bad day one way or another.

Taylor: It's because the Wizards suck at math and refuse to improve?
Goblins: ...Yes.
The currency really is just utterly senseless. It's... perfectly wrong, basically, difficult to actually be any worse. It comes across as one of those things that is intentionally quirksome for the setting, but that doesn't make it any less ridiculous. Prime numbers don't care about ease of calculation; they don't divide regardless. They're the exact opposite of ideal. However much a quagmire the muggle coinage system may seem at a surface glance, it's based on highly composite numbers, ones that have more ways of division than any preceding values.

How much is something worth half a Sickle worth? Too bad, can't be done unless physically cutting coinage into fractions, which doesn't seem to be a thing in the Wizarding World and has goblins offering a compelling reason why. How much is half a pound worth? Well what combination of coins do you want, because there's all of them! And if the thing being valued could be itself divided up, no problem. A third of a dozen eggs or something? Can do, there's coinage neatly applicable for thirds and dozens both, as well as in between, and they combine into larger coinage evenly with several of them. There are even half-penny coins that are whole and two-penny and three-penny coins for all your division needs! ...but no, the Wizarding World has to be "different."

That was what I was hinting at. Seriously Dumbledore just planned to let Harry pick it up without a sheathe after he died in Canon, that was beyond stupid.
Fawkes outlives Dumbledore. I am now imagining a thoroughly bedraggled-looking phoenix run ragged covertly keeping an eye on Harry at all times after Harry gets the sword, and being frantic with worry that the worry itself will lead to a premature burning at just the wrong time to wind up with Harry ever so slightly nicking himself and keeling over dead. Hidden behind any tree could have been a baby phoenix in a pile of ash who hasn't gotten a wink of sleep in weeks. Truly, Fawkes is the unsung hero of the story.
 
While learning to use a sword well takes a long time, any military unit that has dress swords has a basic course that teaches how not to cut yourself with it; even during the salute and inspection.

Enchanted Earmuffs may block the scream of a mandrake, but I don't recall those being regular Death Eater wear. With some prep, it could make a decent surprise attack once or twice, or as long as no one survives the attack.
 
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