Harry Potter and the Skittering Spouse

*head desk* It's a good practice in general and it is giving me things to work with it's just that it is also stupid and frustrating.

Edit: also! I totally didn't realize when I started but voldy left his followers to rot in jail for awhile. Except that doesn't make any sense because the Dementors were already on his side at the start of the book! Rowling, what the fuck? Why would he steal the prison guards but leave his followers, just to come and break them out later? What were you smoking?!
Okay so I have never read the book and I have seen and read too many fanfiction to ever enjoy the original material so how did Voldemort get the dementors in the first place did he walk up to the place and steal them did he use some ritual to summon them to him ?!WELL!?.
 
Why would he steal the prison guards but leave his followers, just to come and break them out later? What were you smoking?!
Why do you assume Azkaban is the only place they can hold prisoners? At minimum they have to have some place they can store four known-dangerous and unrepentant criminals before trial (I think four is the maximum we see before the wizengamot in Dumbledore's memories of the DE trials) somewhere in the Ministry itself; why not make that a bit more permanent if the main prison is non-functional?
 
If you actually turn your brain on while reading Harry Potter, you're gonna have a bad time.

Take them as separate genres. Books 1-3 make sense in certain context. 4 and 5 throw half of it out to try and make it less of a preteen series, then 6 and 7 just throw it all into a blender to try and Chekhov some throw away lines and ideas that were forgotten about to salvage something for the masses because it got stupid popular.

Dumbledore is like two different characters in the books. Book 1-3 is the barmy and kindly grandfather who has these cool stories and then he's the manipulative old man who's pulling strings and doing stupid shit.

That's also to say that she tried to up the ante after Umbridge but had it fall flat.

I hope Taylor burns it all down.
 
Book one Dumbledore is the bastard that stated outright he wouldn't fix Harry's scar even if he could. Most people see the last part and let the admission that he can't overcome the assertion that he won't. Anyone that would leave a toddler injured, apparently just in case the scar turns into a handy map, is not someone I want to look up to, much less call "kindly" – indeed I might well feel like beating such a person senseless with his own wand…
 
Book one Dumbledore is the bastard that stated outright he wouldn't fix Harry's scar even if he could. Most people see the last part and let the admission that he can't overcome the assertion that he won't. Anyone that would leave a toddler injured, apparently just in case the scar turns into a handy map, is not someone I want to look up to, much less call "kindly" – indeed I might well feel like beating such a person senseless with his own wand…
Gotta transfigure that wand into something significantly more durable first. After all, you said "beat," not "break and stab."
 
It's very simple - Dumbledore doesn't have a personality - he's a plot device.

That's the Doyalist PoV. Now the Watsonian:

Why? Is he not his own agent, he's being driven by the Elder Wand? Is there some magical effect associated with Hogwarts, or one of his political roles, which is messing with him? Is the Potter vs. Riddle prophecy bending him to fit its requirements? All of the above, and/or something else?

From this story PoV. Is Taylor going to 'smell a rat'? Realise there's something strange about Dumbledore's behaviour, but that... something seems to be stopping the people around her from (easily) seeing that? Maybe, ditto Snape? What might she be able to do about this?

There are so many ways this could feed into a story. It's a matter of wandering around 'outside the box', looking at its shape...
 
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Book one Dumbledore is the bastard that stated outright he wouldn't fix Harry's scar even if he could.

I thought that scene was Dumbledore trying to make Harry feel better about the scar, as he didn't want to tell him the scar was cursed and, effectively, unremovable.

Which is a thing we see a few times, characters with a number of scars stated or implied to be from dark magic, like Moody's injuries as an Auror and Lupin's and Bill Weasley's scars from Werewolves.

Because that's something much worse to say to a kid.
 
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I thought that scene was Dumbledore trying to make Harry feel better about the scar, as he didn't want to tell him the scar was cursed and, effectively, unremovable.
Nope, that's from a conversation between Dumbledore and McGonagall outside the Dursley home in Book 1 Chapter 1; aka the scene right after baby Harry's parents were murdered and right before Dumbledore drops him off like a parcel outside the Dursley front door.

EDIT: I mean, sure, it's supposed to be 'hey, remember Merlin and King Arthur?' but the instant you treat it like a real decision made by a real person... yikes.

Same with the Book 7 pensieve scene where Harry learns that he is supposed to die and Dumbledore knew all along -- it's supposed to be 'hey, remember Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane?' and gesture at the idea of sacrificial love, but the instant you realize that Dumbledore is not God the Father, that he's a school teacher and politician who spent the last 17 years arranging for Harry to be so beaten down and out of options that he would agree to commit suicide... holy hell that's disturbing.
 
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The Malfoy conspiracy isn't going to make it out of the cradle just nope no nah uh Taylor can absolutely figure this shit out in no time at all and then I just need to decide how she will react. Which will prompt reactions from others and so on and so on and so on. This craps pretty useless for major plot points but it's giving me ideas for background stuff. Like I completely forgot that Lupin just fucks off to fail at restraining the werwolf packs this book. Which is a whole reason for Tonks to be miserable and for Taylor to call all of them idiots because no shit that won't work why are you waisting time trying?
Damn, to see Fencer having grammatical or spelling errors he must be angry :rofl:

But actually focusing on the quote, keeping in context that this Taylor was plucked from just after she surrendered to the PRT but before she could get into the altercation that leads to Rebecca's death... but also keeping in mind that Harry might be acting as a slightly mitigating influence... emphasis on slightly... I don't think Draco is going to die. Not by Taylor's hands anyways. Draco is a bully sure, but he's a bully that's about to be failed by the systems in place to protect him, and horribly so. Harry was convinced he was a Death Eater (and unfortunately was right), aligned with the people who killed his Godfather (arguably not by choice), had tried to possibly kill Dumbledore on more than one occasion (yup), and he was still horrified by what he did to Malfoy with Sectumsempra. Harry wouldn't stand for causing his death, and probably not maiming either. That still leaves plenty of options though... including subversion. Maybe.
 
Nope, that's from a conversation between Dumbledore and McGonagall outside the Dursley home in Book 1 Chapter 1; aka the scene right after baby Harry's parents were murdered and right before Dumbledore drops him off like a parcel outside the Dursley front door.

Ah. It's been awhile since I last read the books straight.

...Actually, that probably reads like him comforting McGonagall over being unable to remove the just-healed wound. Because, again, scars resulting from dark magic not being removable is one of the few completely consistent things from the first book.
 
Except the very first thing Dumbledore plan we the readers get to see executed, in the very first book, is his "trap" for Quirrel, where he doesn't notice Quirrel being possessed by Voldemort and lets him unmonitored access to the student body for an entire year (including a murder attempt), sets up the main goal for voldemort to be hidden in a school behind a series of traps solvable by a bunch of first years that just happen to all be close friends/allies of TBWL, sets up his close comrade Hagrid, who he knows cannot keep a secret to save his life, to be party to a whole list of important information so that information can be leaked to the first years/villain, and then, and then, when he knows things are coming to a head at the end of the school year (because "the thing murdering unicorns and drinking their blood in the forest" which he also sent first years out to find with Hagrid as their only backup) he fucks off to London *by broom* apparently to let the whole thing play out without his supervision.

Dumbledore is an enormous manipulator who chessmastered the entire first book on purpose and the only reason nobody got hurt throughout the entire year was a staggering quantity of blind luck. Hermione could have died if Ron and Harry hadn't decided to go hunt her down during the troll attack, there's no reason for snape to not know how to calm fluffy other than red herring points, and again, Quirrel, who was possessed by Voldemort the whole year, was just lose to do whatever. What if he decided to blow up the whole third floor corridor, or mind control a bunch of students to test the defenses, or tried to murder Harry in a place other than "in front of the entire school during sports". This is what people extrapolate off of when they come up with "manipulative dumbledore". HE thinks he is right, thinks his plans are foolproof, and implements them without telling anyone else or having any backups for if something goes wrong. Fuck, what if Quirrelmort attacks Malfoy instead of just starring at Harry when they encounter him in the forest, or the Centaurs don't show up. Dumble sure would be out of a job in minutes if he got Draco killed in detention.
 
I totally didn't realize when I started but voldy left his followers to rot in jail for awhile. Except that doesn't make any sense because the Dementors were already on his side at the start of the book! Rowling, what the fuck? Why would he steal the prison guards but leave his followers, just to come and break them out later? What were you smoking?!
The reason he didnt grab his followers is because he didnt actually go to Azkaban to get the Dementors, he called them to him, and didn't trust them not to eat his weakened minions on the way over.
So the Dementors basically walked out on their guard duty, and left his somewhat insane and weak followers on the island with the whatever human guards were there. Then when he had time, he had them broken out as a show of power.
 
I mean with Taylor on hand that is absolutely a thing that will happen because raging incompetence isn't something she will allow to continue. So I'm going to have to start making things up. On the other hand I ended up with a half dozen "quick make a note moments" already. Because the book is just… so out there.

Completely forgot that for some reason all of a sudden Rowling had half the girls in the castle giggling after Harry (what the fuck why?! No I get the shallow attraction bit but some of their friends and families are being murdered what the fuck are these priorities?!) which means they'll all hate Taylor.

Or that Ron and Hermione are insane this whole year over the dumbest shit and how that could influence Taylor's relationship with those two.

The Malfoy conspiracy isn't going to make it out of the cradle just nope no nah uh Taylor can absolutely figure this shit out in no time at all and then I just need to decide how she will react. Which will prompt reactions from others and so on and so on and so on. This craps pretty useless for major plot points but it's giving me ideas for background stuff. Like I completely forgot that Lupin just fucks off to fail at restraining the werwolf packs this book. Which is a whole reason for Tonks to be miserable and for Taylor to call all of them idiots because no shit that won't work why are you waisting time trying?

*head desk* It's a good practice in general and it is giving me things to work with it's just that it is also stupid and frustrating.

Some of the reason those young teenage characters are unreasonable is that they are teenagers who's self control and rationality is compromised by hormones and empathy hasn't fully developed, in a society that does not prize logic, restraint, or efficiency.

Otherwise, the harry potter books are good at:
Being mystery stories with particularly shiny red herrings,
action scenes,
memorable characterizations,
and having a unique vibe.

Coherent and consistent world building isn't on that list.

Edit: also! I totally didn't realize when I started but voldy left his followers to rot in jail for awhile. Except that doesn't make any sense because the Dementors were already on his side at the start of the book! Rowling, what the fuck? Why would he steal the prison guards but leave his followers, just to come and break them out later? What were you smoking?!
Off the top of my head;
The dementors are not the only guards, or the most dangerous to a prepared high level wizard who'd be able to either repel them or control them, and are more there as a component of the punishment and as a way of keeping said dementors from going anywhere else. Either give them acceptable victims or have them fuck off to who knows where.

Also, most people are kinda useless after 15 years of having their soul sucked, and without the dementors there his locked up followers could recover to basic functionality before he sprung them.
 
The Malfoy conspiracy isn't going to make it out of the cradle just nope no nah uh Taylor can absolutely figure this shit out in no time at all and then I just need to decide how she will react.
Well, Snape's dead.

Why you ask? He swore an Unbreakable Vow to help Draco. Which means he has to help Draco or he dies, Dumbledore couldn't go and deal with Malfoy in Book 6 as Snape has to intervene if Draco is arrested or such. Which means Morton's Fork. Snape either has to get involved and he's going up against Taylor, or he doesn't and he dies due to the Vow.

Therefore, Snape is dead ... Okay, I know part of me should care. But the Dungeon Bat can go suck a Blood-flavoured lollipop for all I care. But this should prove to be interesting either way.
 
Why would he steal the prison guards but leave his followers, just to come and break them out later? What were you smoking?!

This is pretty Watsonian, but here it is-

Voldemort: "Go collect the Dementors from Azkaban!"
Death Eater: "Yes milord!"

*Later*

Voldemort: "What the fuck? Where the hell are my minions?"
Death Eater: "We left them behind milord."
Voldemort: "...wat?"
Death Eater: "Yes, you didn't mention breaking them out so we thought they were out of favor."
Voldemort: "How the hell could they be out of favor?! They've been in prison for being loyal for a decade!"
Death Eater: "Uh..."
Voldemort: "Never mind, just go get them you morons!"
Death Eater: "We can't do that right now boss, the Aurors are crawling all over the island after the Dementors left, we'll need to wait for them to reduce the guard to something manageable."
Voldemort: *facepalm* "Fine, just get it done as soon as possible."
 
The Malfoy conspiracy
Isn't gonna happen anymore, and because of that...
He isn't.

I think we can assume that Moldevort gave Malfoy the task to kill Dumbledore during the summer break between books five and six, and then afterwards Narcissa had Snape make the Unbreakable Vow.

Moldevort is no longer in a position to be able to give Malfoy that task and we still haven't reached the summer break, and so Narcissa has no reason to pressure Snape into an Unbreakable Vow.

Therefore, the Malfoy Conspiracy is no longer going to happen, and Snape has no Vow hanging over his head like a Sword of Damocles.


EDIT: Oops, got my HPxWorm fics mixed up. Please disregard... :facepalm:
 
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There is a reason why love potions and other potions being used in Year 6 are such a prevalent theory (it would explain why the heck he got together with a bloody fangirl at that)

Something that I admittedly forgot from all the fanfic I've read is that the Ginny in the movies isn't the same as the one in the books (at least the later books, she did start out quite the fangirl). Here's one of my favourite videos showcasing the difference:


View: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Iwm6iR0-2aA

And one with movie Ron vs book Ron for good measure :)


View: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Lz13FPrsufQ
 
Ron's character assassination began with the Tri Wizard tourney and it only got worse from there. The movies made it worse. Ron was Harry's Bro before that. He was a bit of a shit to Hermione in book 1, yeah…but she was also someone that was extremely in likeable and snipes at him constantly even after that.

Book 6 is when the plan to get the couples off the ground really began too. Before that it wasn't really a thing age wise and much like everything else, no thought to previous books or characters was given any thought.

Anyway, that's enough semioff topic for me.
 
Moldevort is no longer in a position to be able to give Malfoy that task and we still haven't reached the summer break, and so Narcissa has no reason to pressure Snape into an Unbreakable Vow.
Why do you think Moldevort isn't in a position to give Malfoy that task. Further, we are presently in summer break between books 5 and 6. The entire conceit of this story is that in the aftermath of book 5's tragedy Nympho and Wolf drag harry off to america for vacation.
 
Why do you think Moldevort isn't in a position to give Malfoy that task. Further, we are presently in summer break between books 5 and 6. The entire conceit of this story is that in the aftermath of book 5's tragedy Nympho and Wolf drag harry off to america for vacation.
I think he may have gotten this story confused with the other major Worm/Harry Potter cross on this site. In that fic, Moldyshorts ends up as Sir Dustyfloors as a result of a precision application of Fiend Fyre.
 
There is a reason why love potions and other potions being used in Year 6 are such a prevalent theory (it would explain why the heck he got together with a bloody fangirl at that)
Ginny, despite the lack of character growth being shown in books, is exactly Harry's type. She's a slim quidditch player who isn't giggly or "like other girls" and sassy.

Like, Rowling rushed the hell out of the relationships but if you look at the girls Harry ogles on page she fits the bill. I think we can forgive ten year told Ginny for being star struck in CoS.
 
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