I tried not to think about last night as I stood in front of the huge, structurally reinforced cement truck, and watched it back carefully into the vault.
*crosses fingers* Cricket visited again?
It did give me a lovely restful night's sleep, but it took nearly thirty seconds to come fully into effect, so it wouldn't be joining my normal library of formulas.
"Instead, I started setting up cannisters of the aerosol version of it in the vents in my lab."
I'm pretty sure it was Sveta who tucked me into bed.
HNNNNG. The "D'AAWWW"! It's OFF THE SCALE!
I'd avoided talking with Sveta the next morning as well,
Hey! He's got the same technique for dealing with problems as Skitter! Hurrah! They're Avoidance Buddies!
What did the guy do exactly?
Sucks dick in BULK. He's got, like, a conveyor belt arrangement.
Re-purpose a couple of Endbringer shelters or something?
I see a nod towards the "Fortress Construction" fanon....
None of them had any obvious physical defects when I saw them,
(And believe me, he spent a good amount of time checking that for sure on Sundancer.)
Alternately: Except for the way that Trickster's head was so far up his own ass that he was rechewing his own breakfast.
Trickster was babbling nervously about how she didn't have 'episodes' often, and that the armed guards really weren't necessary.
*facepalm* Shut the fuck up, Krouse. God, I hate you.
Sundancer was the only guard here who was actually useful.
Acknowledgement of skill and usefulness? Shit, that's more than we've gotten for 95% of the people Adam's met. IT'S GOING ON THE CHART!
I took my time to look over the lower body,
And Trickster starts getting jealous....
Well, I'd have to do some testing first, but I could really think of only one solution to this problem.
*I* have a solution! Tell me, Adam... have you familiar with certain genres of Japanese animation?
I was fairly sure I'd managed to iron out most of the kinks with my first attempt.
*puerile giggle*
Why couldn't this be something easy to fix, like cancer?
...okay, I laughed. I laughed like a hyena.
Not really a complainer that girl.
YOU FINALLY NOTICED.
Also, I hadn't had the talk with her yet. I should be able to talk Purity into it maybe. That could work.
Oh, THAT will be a trainwreck.
"Okay, Sveta, now that you have a body, there's a few things you should know...."
"...oh, no. It's okay. Mrs. Yamada had this talk with me and-"
"When you get to a certain age, you start to notice... boys.
(Andsometimeswomenbutthat'sjustadrunkencollegethingI'mnotgayI'mNOTgay!) Anyways! You'll start to notice... people. And you'll get these feelings-"
"...please no."
"-and those sweet, supple curv*COFF* BURLY SHOULDERS-"
"please I want to go back to the asylum"
"-and you'll tell yourself you love him, but there's just something about him that doesn't really satisfy what you TRULY want and-"
"please an Endbringer ANYTHING"
"-and then you'll realize 'Hey, wait a second, this guy is a HUGE asshole... and maybe kinda racist' (and that's bad, I guess)... and you'll dump his Nazi ass, YEAH! So... any questions? ...why are you crying?'
I might want to buy into the portion of the Espionage tree that let me figure out if someone was lying eventually… nah.
And Adam continues sailing on his one TRUE ship: The SS Horrible Choices!
"Was the part about the evil clones if I touch her true?" I asked Sundancer, who didn't look prepared for the question, and was therefore hopefully easy to catch in a lie.
*snerk* Seriously, if I stop to comment on EVERY line that made me laugh in this chapter, I'd never get through it. Well done, Jurric.
It was odd, she was already trying to fit into that Sveta shaped hole in my head.
...Adam has a soft spot for girls with body horror issues. Dear lord, that joke I made earlier isn't a joke at all, is it.
Unfortunately, she was too big.
A fat joke, Adam? Pfft, please. That's just more to love! ...through a vault door.
That really would have been a good thing to know, in this case.
Golly, you mean things might go HORRIBLY WRONG? Say it ain't so!
Sveta seemed quite interested in Noelle.
*opens mouth*
*pauses*
*shrugs*
Fuck it, it's ON THE CHART. ("Oh, you have tentacles! *I* used to have tentacles, too....")
"Were you in that place too? The one where they made us?" Sveta asked.
Wait. Wait wait wait. Sveta REMEMBERS CAULDRON?
Oh, shit on me. That's the kind of thing that gets you in hot water really fucking FAST.
Oh well, bombing that place would make a good practice run for bombing the Nine.
....
*wild, hysterical laughter*
Oh, that's glorious. Adam's decided that Cauldron needs a good blowin' up. But he's not attached to Sveta! Honestly! Tattletale is full of shit! Really!
A cloned Tinker, without any tools or ready made items, not really a threat.
...hmm. Golly, I'll just hang up this sentence on the wall over there. What's that, Mr. Chekhov? No, I don't think it'll EVER come up again!
One final, delicate adjustment…
I took out my lightsabre, cut through the metal that directed and reflected scanner beams, and kicked the thin strip of metal remaining until the sensors were facing the right direction. Wires strained, but held, and I pressed the activation button.
...oh, your god. That's GLORIOUS. Seriously, Jurric, this chapter is HIGH-GRADE AMUSEMENT.
I grabbed the lightsabre at my belt, activated it, and cut off the tongue, but not before I felt a cold, rough lick on my elbow.
"So I had to slap Trickster a few times, because NOW WAS NOT THE TIME."
"They always say whatever they can to hurt you most." Ballistic said, as the clone knelt, gagging for air.
I'm... suspecting that wasn't just to hurt ADAM, there. Anything with "protocol" in it I am VERY scared of, where he's involved.
"Leave the head please, I'd like to dissect his brain, it could prove vital for finding a cure."
...oh, no. No no no. Please don't let this be what I think it is.
"Mayhem?"
"Yes, Tattletale?"
"...did you splice that dead clone's brain into your own brain?"
"...no? I've... always had this hump?"
I instructed, trying not to think about how close I'd come to having my internal reactors blow.
I KNEW IT.
"I um, know it's not your fault. Do you need anything? Or do you want to talk about it?" Sveta asked.
...oh, my god. I've figured it out! It's Yamada! She's basing herself on Yamada! The Only Sane Woman!
This might be a little more tricky than I initially thought.
Don't sound so happy about that, Adam. >>
All right. Arc four, of five.
YES.
I was just a little confused about the number of comments, coming from running a quest to writing a story. I hadn't even thought to check the view count.
63k+, as of this posting. So... doing pretty good, I think!
Also, as completely unsolicited advice: Maybe putting a bit more descriptive blurb on the first/index post might help? I know that I abuse the "hover and preview the first post" trick a lot when I'm trying to decide on reading things. And that opening blurb doesn't do this story justice AT ALL.
And wear a Hazmat suit at least.
Uh... this is the guy who took out the E88 with handshakes. If he shows up in a hazmat suit, they'll probably shoot him by reflex.
Even his clones are motivated to take care of Cricket.
You. I like you. BROTHER!
Holy fuck, I agreed with Datcord!
Next thing I know, I'm going to be giggling randomly at things...
What has happened to my life?
Sssshhh, sshhhhhhh. It's okay. Everything will be fine once the pain stops. There's nothing to worry about. I'm here now. With you. FOREVER.
Oh you sweet summer child. If Jack gets three sentences in, you're so boned.
I... guess I'd ship it? ...it'd be REALLY fucked up, though.
Y'see, I noticed that too. Then thought: "Oh, look, here's a bad plan inbound: Adam will put Mayhem in this, and terrible things will result."
What? Adam, do something that might rebound horribly and cause massive problems for EVERYONE in the EVERYWHERE?
NO. NEVER.
That's my joke, you bastard! I will cut you! I will cut you DEEP!
Blasphemy, have you not seen Cricket, we have best waifu, and if she not your style we... actually Sevta is to innocent and cute to be a waifu. But still Cricket!
Seriously, when even *I* look at someone and go "Okay, they're too adorable to make perverse jokes about...", that's a major sign.
