Scanning memory.Mayhem Protocol 5.1.2 initiated. Recent host conflict detected. Extradimensional access available. Unclear objectives. Scanning memory.
Memory must be faulty. Rescan.
Scanning memory.
Memory rescan complete.
Memory not faulty.
Facepalm.
I think we all can get behind that one. You can borrow my knife! I'll get it REALLY dull just for you.
...god dammit. I mean, we all kinda knew it was coming. But still. God dammit.Secondary objective. Kill host. No deactivation time set. Objective complete.
I'm PRETTY SURE that's when you call it when an entire sorority is murdered. So... I guess Mayhem's gonna have to take out a bunch of 80's horror monsters?Quinary objective. Prevent any act of Sororicide ever occurring again.
*facepalm* Oh. God. Dammit.They were the only way of accomplishing the quinary objective within a reasonable timeframe. Analysis indicated that Sororicide happened frequently on the global scale. Mass extinction was the best option to prevent it as quickly as possible.
"I didn't see THAT coming!" said no one reading this story EVER.
*whine* It's... it's still on The Chart.Ada had also wanted Sveta to stay safe, it had been on her mind as she envisioned the command, clearly imprinted in her memories.
"Ha ha! SUCKERS!"The septinary objective promoted me. Two people very important to my creation had died. I should say a few words.
And, once again, Adam fucks everything up!"Riley, I am sorry it came to this. It was not something I planned, and I would have reined in Ada had I known. As far as I am aware, my plan to make him run was genuine. With a little more time, a little more confidence, and a little more hope, he could have saved you, as he truly wished to do," I told the rings of dying brain matter.
...son of a BITCH. THAT is why Mayhem always managed to fuck up Ada's life so much? I... well, it DID kinda work a little, so....I know that you would have chosen to throw everything on me, given the chance, and I tried to discourage that. It seems I could not think far enough ahead to overcome your own, raw, stupidity.
Incidentally, now I want to reread and see if the whole "Trying to keep Ada from killing herself" thing is more obvious in retrospect. Neat little twist, Jurric!
"Or until they stop being able to remember anything at all. Either/or.""Drew. Adam. Ada. Mayhem. Riley. Bonesaw. If it helps… they will remember all those names forever."
(Also, no. It doesn't help. Everyone remembers HITLER, too.)
Uh... I can think of a REALLY OBVIOUS solution right off the bat: You've got a gender-changing formula. Aerosolize that shit and get it world-wide! You can't kill a sister if EVERYONE'S A BOY, DUH.Every second bought the possibility of failure to the fifth objective, every minute bought the practical certainty that somewhere, a girl was dying. Of course this had to be stopped.
...wait. Narwhal. Never mind. Go ahead and do some weird mind control thing or horrible biohazard thing instead.I have PRIORITIES, DAMMIT.
Right. Which is why you're building the ray that beams images of people's grandparents having sex directly into their brains any time they get aroused.The current best course of action was to prevent the production of new children,
It's a decent plan, I guess?
I'm just gonna hope that "additional options" is her pet name for Cricket.
Oh, that's a GLORIOUS euphemism!
It IS Cricket's pet name! Awww, shit yeah! I mean, Ada's dead, but we have a vague silver lining anyways!I leaned over, unlatched the cage that covered her face, and kissed Cricket.
Yeah, but you kissed Cricket."I understand that a kiss is a standard way to wake up a beautiful princess," I said, smiling,
(Alternately: God DAMN, why couldn't Ada have pulled a line like that? I assure you, if he had, we wouldn't have this problem right now... because he'd be exhausted.)
DON'T YOU RUIN THIS FOR ME! This is PRIME situation for "If it's YOU, it's okay...." and you WILL NOT TAKE THAT FROM ME!"Like… like hell! You might be the other one, but you're still a girl!"
God damn... AGAIN. Mayhem's got the moves like... uh... Casanova's younger, much more combative brother, I guess? Anyways, that's a SMOOTH move.She ended up staring into my mask, and I smiled as her eyes twitched, and she gulped.
Uh, two things...."I am me. When I made myself arms of steel, that did not matter to you? Why should the shape of my flesh be any different?" I asked.
- I'm pretty sure those aren't steel. I think they're some sort of special Bullshitium alloy.
- This whole "fuck with Cricket's head" thing is making me laugh hysterically.
I'm... going to go ahead and pretend that "maintenance" is a euphemism. Because Cricket is here and I'm REALLY enjoying Mayhem fucking with her... head. (Fingers crossed!)In fact any truly major altercation should be after I performed maintenance on several crucial parts of my body.
Also, because I'm trying to find the silver lining here, now that Ada has gone the way of the dodo.
Like... permanently? Or just for special occasions?"Are you going to change back into a guy?" Cricket asked, sounding hopeful,
*puerile giggle* Go ahead, Mayhem. Do your VERY BEST to convince Cricket to accept it.On the other hand, if I could convince her to accept this in less time than that, it would be more expedient to stay female.
In the meantime, consider this. I can beat you more easily as a girl. Think on what the means.
Okay, so I know "gay for pay," but what would THAT count as? "Gay for brutal murder"? "Gay for combat"? ...oh, fucking DUH. It's GAR! I mean, it's not exactly the concept, but it's pretty close and- wait, what was that last bit? The one about Hatchet Face?It would however make Cricket think, she valued performance in combat above all else. Getting her thinking along those lines was enough for now, because Hatchet Face had just run out of the nearest alleyway.
...whulp, conflict++! Hurrah!
Look at this. ALL of you people, and not a single one of you posted any of the multiple possible options to accentuate your posts! I am filled with shame for you.
"Why do I look like your sister? ...why does EVERYONE look like your sister?!"
*puerile giggle* I guess it depends on if he's gold star gay or not....
Well. There's a new internet search string that'll be shown at my trial. (I'm lying, of course. ...it's not new.)