"They're just kids, what's the worst that could happen?" - Saizo Kagura, last proctor of the "Bloody Mist" exams.
Your name is Umino Iruka, and today you face your greatest challenge yet: school politics. You look down at the seating chart in front of you and sigh in despair. "Can you remind me why we're doing this again, Toji?
Your longtime friend and fellow instructor scoffs from the other side of the room, hardly sparing you a glance from where he sits grading papers. "You mean why are you doing this, I keep telling you the seating's fine as-is."
You lean back in your chair and groan in annoyance, sometimes Mizuki could be so- you cut off the unkind thought, Toji's a decent enough guy, he doesn't deserve you taking out your self-inflicted frustrations on him. "We both know it's not fine. Graduation is coming, and did you not see what happened in class today? What happens if Daisuke and Mariko end up on the same team?"
Your friend shrugs, not even lifting his eyes from the papers ahead of him. "Then they either get over their problems and become teammates or get shunted off to the Genin Corps, either way, they're not our problem anymore."
You massage your temples and try to reign in your irritation, sometimes your fellow instructor just managed to push all of the wrong buttons. He's tired after a long day of teaching, just let it go Iruka you think to yourself. "They're our students, we have a duty to make sure they're as well prepared as possible." You grind out.
Finally, finally, Mizuki looks up from his papers. As he looks at your face you see his twist into a distinctly uncomfortable expression - ah, you must not have hidden your displeasure as well as you hoped - before smoothing out into a casual grin. "Sure, I get you, but they have to learn to fend for themselves, y'know? Sometimes you get partnered up with people you dislike and just have to grin and bear it. It's just another part of the job."
You frown at your friend, he's not wrong, per se, but. "These are their Genin Teams we're talking about. There are tons of studies out there which show that a shinobi's post-graduation team is one of the most important developmental points in a ninja's career, both psychologically and in terms of skill-"
You're cut off as Toji rolls his eyes. "Spare me the lecture, I swear I've heard it a hundred times by now."
Well, he's not wrong, "It's-"
"Yes, yes, 'it's important', 'we have a duty as their instructors', blah blah Will of Fire, blah." He cuts you off again as he stands. "Fine, let me take a look at what you've got."
Honestly, your friend was almost uncomfortably irreverent at times. Still, at least he's finally coming over to lend you a hand. "So, Satomura and Yokota," he begins, "obviously we can't seat them next to each other, that'll just make things worse. Hmm, what if we put someone between them to turn down the tension?"
Your scowl begins to melt away into a thoughtful moue as you look back down at the current seating chart. "Someone to mellow them out, huh? Neither one can be too close to whoever we put in the middle, and between their friend groups and the people who idolize them that's probably about half the class."
"The word you're looking for is fangirls, Iruka."
"Shut up."
"Alright, how about Nara or Akimichi then?"
You think for a moment before shaking your head. "No, Chouji's too gentle, he wouldn't want to get involved. As for Shikamaru… to be honest he'd probably just nap while they argued over his head. Although…"
"What, they'll be loud enough that they'll force him to either stop them or listen in class? Not a bad plan, but I'd rather not try to teach while the two kids fight." Toji chuckles from over your shoulder.
"I'd suggest Hinata, but…"
"What, Hyuuga? She'd wilt like a flower in a fire jutsu."
You hate to admit it, but that's probably not an inaccurate description, given how painfully shy the young girl is. "How about Shino then?"
"Aburame, huh?" Your friend brings his hand up to his chin as he thinks. "Well, he's stoic enough that he probably wouldn't get run over by the other two. Plus, Yokota's uncomfortable enough around bugs that I doubt she could just browbeat him."
You nod in time with Toji's points. Between his collected demeanor and precise manner of speaking, Shino might be dispassionate enough to make the two feuding children realize that they're being ridiculous. And if that fails, well, there's a reason for the saying that one of any Konoha-nin's greatest fears is an angry Aburame.
You nod in satisfaction as you place the three in the front row with Shino in the middle. Then in a fit of inspiration, you add Sasuke Uchiha to Daisuke's other side. Daisuke seems to be one of the few students that Sasuke tolerates, and putting the troubled Uchiha directly under the teacher's nose ought to help discourage even the most persistent of his so-called fan club.
"Alright, next up are Arata and Ren. They've both been jumping at shadows a lot lately, what with the conspiracy club they call a newspaper. And Kairi's really not helping the situation when she does her whole… thing."
"You mean creepily staring at them while sitting on their desks?" Mizuki laughs.
You are not amused. "Yes. That."
"I dunno, " your friend says with deliberate casualness. "They're not really far off with regards to Uzumaki. You know-"
You sigh in annoyance. You know well how Toji feels about Naruto. The worst part is that he's not entirely wrong, Naruto is a rather troublesome student. But jumping on him for a random inappropriate comment really won't help the situation any, so you decide to let it go and try to stay professional. "That's part of the problem" you look up at Mizuki's skeptical face. "For information security if nothing else."
Finally, your fellow instructor relents. "I suppose there's plenty of time for them to get properly paranoid, no need to start too young."
You nod in agreement, steering the conversation back into safer waters. "Perhaps have them sit next to students who don't have anything to hide?"
Mizuki nods thoughtfully. "Hyuuga, Inuzuka, and Akimichi?" He suggests.
You think for a moment before nodding. "Choji is good natured, Kiba couldn't keep a secret for his life, and while Hinata's a bit quiet, she might help keep them from being too rude." You nod in satisfaction, another one bites the dust.
Toji nods from behind you, approving your decision. "If you insist on fixing all of your student's neuroses, how about Yamanaka and Haruno on either side of Nara?"
You look up at Mizuki, searching for some hint that he's joking. "You're… You're not serious, are you?"
"Completely. The two girls are unbearable when they fight, but even then they manage not to disrupt class too much. Nara is removed enough from the situation that he won't automatically fall on one side or the other, and he'll have to stop them if he wants any peace and quiet. It's two hawks with one kunai."
You think for a couple of minutes before ultimately shrugging and letting it pass. "I suppose he'll be fine as long as the two don't bully him into submission. Perhaps we can add Yui to the group. She mostly just watches, but she'll step in if things start getting too out of hand. Alright, that looks good."
"Great, I'm headed off then." Mizuki says as he starts moving away from your desk.
"Wait! One more, please?" You ask him before he escapes the room.
"Iruka…"
"Come on, I helped you with the term papers two weeks ago so you could spend time with Tsubaki. Help me out here!"
"Fine." He gravels out. "One more, then I'm gone."
"Thanks," you smile sheepishly up at your friend. "It really helps to have someone to bounce ideas off of."
"Whatever." Mizuki grunts as he rolls his eyes.
"Okay then…" Your eyes trail down the list until you reach the last student who needs to be reseated and wince. "So… where should we put Naruto?"
"Right, nevermind, this isn't worth my time." Mizuki says as he rapidly turns back toward the door.
"Toji, come on, he's a troubled student. He just needs a little help is all!"
Mizuki sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he turns to you. "The situation with that… kid, needs more than a little help. His attitude ranges from disrespectful to downright intolerable, he barely has any classmates who can even endure his presence, let alone friends, and he's utterly incompetent. I mean he can't even pull off a decent clone and we're less than a month from the graduation exams!" Your co-instructor shakes his head. "I don't understand why you even bother with it Iruka, it's a lost cause."
As he speaks, you feel your scowl from earlier return in full force. Unfortunately, it only gets worse from there as you feel your face redden and a vein in your forehead bulge at your friend's unfair castigation of your orphaned blond student. It isn't until the end of his tirade that you can't help yourself anymore.
"It?" You ask, deathly quiet.
Mizuki's face immediately takes on a wary cast. Your students and close friends know you as a guy with a quick temper, it doesn't take all that much to get you to start yelling.
Mizuki is one of the very few people who have ever seen you get truly angry, and the one time was enough for him to remember the signs.
"What?" He asks, carefully confused, like he's trying to avoid stepping into a well-hidden trap.
"You called him - Naruto, an 'it'. Why?"
Mizuki's face morphs into a cruel sneer. "You know why. You know what Uzumaki really is, even if it happens to be wearing a boy's face right now."
You desperately leash your temper, striking a fellow Konoha-nin, let alone another instructor, would be very, very bad. Even so, the temptation doesn't leave you as you grit out your next sentence. "Naruto is not a monster. We both know that. He's just an orphaned kid."
Maybe he has nothing more to say to you on the subject, or maybe he recognizes that now is his last chance to retreat. Either way, Mizuki heads for the door, but not before one last parting shot. "Whatever. You know what it really is, I'm out of here."
The silence after the door to your shared office slams shut is deafening, and gives your thoughts no distraction from the boiling anger in your stomach. Left with no release, you might have gone out that door and punched Mizuki in his stupid damn face. Of course if you did that, then you'd likely be court-martialed, or at least lose your instructorship. Which would in turn mean that the students in your class with Mizuki as their only sensei. Which would mean that Naruto's only sensei would be Mizuki. Whatever that future might have brought never comes to pass though, as your hand strikes out at the filing cabinet to your right of its own accord.
The pain of flesh on metal is unpleasant, and it leaves a dent in the cabinet you'll have to fix later. But it does give you something else to focus on besides your anger and frustration with your childhood friend. You just don't get why he refuses to see Naruto as anything but the Fox, even you managed to move past it and you lost far more than he did 12 years ago. But… but there's nothing you can do about it right this second.
You drop back into your seat with an exhausted sigh as you think about where to place Naruto to get your thoughts away from Mizuki.
Maybe next to Hiruma Jabari? The two don't interact much, but Jabari is fairly even tempered. On top of that, he had been something of an outcast himself due to his Cloud heritage and coloring until he was assimilated into Daisuke's little group of friends, so perhaps he might have a better understanding of Naruto than most others.
Try as you might, you can't seem to find anywhere else better to place Naruto, so you put the two together on the right side of the room away from the windows where Naruto will just daydream and call it a day.
You're about to leave the office for dinner when your eyes glance over at the ungraded work that remains on Mizuki's desk due to your interruption and subsequent argument.
For a moment, you consider leaving the classroom anyway. It's his work, he should be the one to do it. It's a nice thought, even the vindictiveness doesn't bother you much with the bitter taste of your last conversation still in your mouth.
You sigh as you watch the rest of your evening slip away and sit down to grade the papers. Research says that a quick assignment turnaround is essential for helping kids learn after all, and you're not going to let some petty argument get in the way of your students' education.