No, I actually got this impression far earlier than ME3, as early as Mass Effect 1 and also additionally in ME2.
Here's the things that bothered me: for all that asari claim to have a working electronic direct democracy, there's a great amount of young asari being apparently completely devout followers of a specific Matriarch to the point of cultish devotion (Benezia being just one example, but there's also the courtesan on the citadel), and also a lot of emphasis is placed on deference towards the experience of Matriarchs. Aethyta in ME2 seems to have been a well-respected Matriarch, but apparently lost a lot of influence relatively quickly following a disagreement with other Matriarchs and decided to leave, feeling she couldn't get her voice heard. Liara repeatedly emphasises that it's actually rather difficult to rise up in the ranks of asari society if you face pureblood prejudice or don't do the socially accepted thing, and it's implied that many asari actually have very little individual influence until they reach a socially pre-determined threshold of experience, at which point you reach higher status. I found it interesting that Liara, barely out of the Maiden stage, is the only young asari we see that actually manages to gain a meteoric rise in influence in a very short period of time, and she does this outside of asari societal structures by becoming the Shadow Broker. We also have asari leaving their society to become mercenaries and pirates, which even seems to be expected to some degree so that they get "life experience" (and perhaps also get the most violent ones out of society's hair?), asari manipulating outsiders to kill potential competitors in their society, and brutal corporate competition on one of their main corporate worlds. Then we also have the Justicars, a system of half-religious enforcers and half-law enforcement that operate according to their own code, very few limitations, and are accorded respect not necessarily due to majority opinion, but because of ancient tradition and custom that do not seem to get questioned much.
This all painted to me the image of a society that was, well, rather fragmented between the various followers of Matriarchs that formed factions, and where majority opinion could force out critical minority opinions with fair ease. To me, the term "working democracy" also implies that you give a voice to the minority, that you can rise up in the ranks of and be valued by society without reaching a sort of arbitrary age or experience limit and gain followers without first becoming a Matriarch, and that you can enact change contrary to tradition and custom by actually being convincing, without being shouted down and forced out of government and out of the public's mind. The asari may well be democratic, but ever since I first played Mass Effect 1, I genuinely wondered whether their society was actually what I'd call a working democracy. There seemed to be concerning elements that pointed to their political system being quite troubled by a few problems.
This was my opinion independently of the revelations in Mass Effect 3 and the stupid HFY wank Mass Effect's writing engages in. I thought it was an interesting commentary on these kind of political systems, and considering the rise of populism and meme politics in recent years, I thought the topic has only become more and more relevant.
Of course, I might be thinking too much of this and the writers may not have thought this through at all, but it's an interesting way to look at things.
