This doot proved to be somewhat delicate, as it ties together two-and-a-half different bundles of plot and story. I have taken far longer than planned, to get it right.
> Discuss the matter with Nadeshiko.
The problem with this plan, of course, is the evil-mirror-universe Clarisse. You don't trust her not to try something. You're not sure whether she has access to spy on you with time windows anymore, because she sent Simona away... but either way, you don't want to let her mess anything up. You'll have to be prepared this time, and plan it out.
In the meantime, you have a pressing matter.
[X][Kyouko] Explain we are concerned about how fast this is going now
-[X] With the rate we are going, having a kid by the end of the week wouldn't be surprising
Kyouko looks at you with alarm when you joke about having a kid.
"Huh?" she asks. "We weren't doing anything like that, were we?"
"Well…" you say.
"Like… seriously?" she asks.
You hadn't quite realized what you'd gotten yourself into with this girl.
Consider, then, Kyouko. She has neglected her education. She is without a family, and even when she had a family, it was a conservative family which celebrated a certain measure of innocence and purity. No one ever told her explicitly about the birds and the bees. Nor did anyone previously tell her to go look it up in her onboard knowledge-base. Oh, there was plenty of incidental exposure to the world, and she could have put two and two together — if she had engaged with any of it, rather than just brushing it aside as icky stuff. Now she is before you, like Eve in the garden: she realizes the specific nature of the impulses which have been driving her, and she is ashamed.
Oh, innocence.
You think this is outlandish? It is common enough, with the right sort of family.
Kyouko is soon hiding under the covers, and you are doing your best to temper your frustration with her upbringing, that you might not start a religious debate over the matter… or for that matter, drive her to despair.
"Desire itself is a natural phenomenon," you note to her. "From my understanding, Christian theology around the matter generally acknowledges this, and doesn't condemn it directly. There are some very unfortunate exceptions, of course, but it's a question of how to integrate that into a virtuous life, and that's why they teach certain things about the family and how to structure your life. And, of course, about the boundaries that the two of us set for ourselves, together.."
You wait a moment for a response.
"I don't want to go to Hell," says Kyouko.
You take a deep breath.
"Kyouko… if you legitimately didn't know what you were doing… I don't think you'd go to Hell for anything."
"I thought you didn't believe in Hell," she replies.
"I'm approaching the matter from my understanding of extant Christian theology," says Clarisse. "Which, I must admit, is not my field of expertise, and is full of exceptions and variety in interpretation, but…"
"I thought I was strong against temptation!" says Kyouko, flinging off the covers. "But it turns out I didn't even know what it looked like!"
You are becoming very alarmed. This sort of situation would be an excellent opportunity for a magical girl to plant the seeds of a curse within her own soul.
"You — I'm quite confident you can be strong resist temptation," you tell her. (It's a good thing that this Kyouko doesn't know what the other Kyouko is famous for in the future, or she'd have something to say about that.) "It's like you said. You just didn't know what it looked like. An innocent mistake. Maybe that's not nothing, but I am confident there's more to your soul than that!"
"Yeah," she snarls, "there's plenty of Sloth and Gluttony there too," she says. "A bit of pride, maybe? And utterly consumed, by lust."
You shake your head.
"Come now, Kyouko," you tell her, "isn't that too melodramatic? You are hardly so depraved that anyone should say you're
utterly consumed."
... There is, after all, so much further she could go.
Kyouko looks you in the eye.
"
Show me," she says.
"Show you what?" you ask.
"
Show me that I'm not utterly consumed. Show me... show me myself. The person that I can be. Give me a sign."
Something clicks.
She wants another chance.
Indeed, she wants to be tested.
You can do that. You can do it in a way that means something.
"Okay," you say. "Stay there."
The first thing you do is change back into the abominatio—
— Clarisse, are you calling my handiwork an abomination? Goodness. I am shaking my head.
You change back into the dress that represents so many things that you hate, the
abomination, if you insist.
The second thing you do, simultaneously, is to speak with the shard of Sakura's soul about your plan. You will need her help, after all.
She thinks she can make it happen.
Kyouko looks at you again.
"Here we go," you say. "I need your help. Actually, I need someone else's help, but it will be slightly hazardous to pursue it, and I need you to keep me safe. It's important. It will require fortitude and self-denial. You can do this."
"... I'm listening," she says.
"I'm going to visit another world. That world's Clarisse will therefore come here to be me for a little while. I don't want her to mess anything up, so I would like to set up containment, so that she does not have access to any objects of power."
You extract the feather. "This is part of a magical girl's magic," you say, to be clear. "She'll be my other guard, and will be the first line of defense. She'll also be able to tell for certain when I come back. I am going to send you encryption keys, and entrust you my physical safety."
With the feather, you inscribe a circle around yourself, to keep you contained. If it works for the Star Empire, it can work for you. It's even the same magic.
When you are finished, you hand the feather, Kinomoto Sakura, to Sakura Kyouko.
"The world of the Star Empire is depraved," you warn her, "in the way that you yourself are not. There is way too much kissing over there. Treat me as if I am possessed by a demon. She may tempt you, but you be strong against that temptation. You will not allow her to sow doubt in your mind. And if she is in distress, and begs your aid, you will treat it as a ploy."
You step over the circle, and to the other side.
You are in a quiet room beside a garden.
That's not really right; the garden extends into the room from outside, spilling over the windowsill. It's wilder than the rest of the gardens here. Carefully aimed lights shine down on the indoor foliage.
There is a circle here too, of a differing design, which fades away quickly as you arrive.
And as it turns out, you're still wearing a very cute dress.
...
... It's cute, Clarisse, I promise.
...
... Okay, Let's agree to disagree.
The person you want to talk to is sitting on a tree branch. In contrast to you, she is quite unadorned, wearing only a very plain linen dress, and no shoes.
"Hello, Clarisse," says Shizuki Nadeshiko. "Have you come all the way here for counsel? It must be very important."
You nod.
"Sit down," she says, "and tell me what troubles you."
You are for a moment unsure of where to start.
Perhaps keep it on the simplest physical plane.
"I was considering taking lessons in ballet," you say, taking a seat nearby her. "But I am not sure that it is a wise course of action."
She closes her eyes before speaking, perhaps to imagine.
"I wonder why you might want to do this thing," she says. "Is it for the joy of the movement itself? For the pleasure of the performance? For the pleasure of the attention? Because it is a program of hard work to which you can commit yourself deeply?"
She opens her eyes and looks at you.
"I thought it might be a way to a different kind of magic, one which would permit me to transcend the bondage of the Incubators. It is not for the sake of the dance itself."
She considers this a moment.
"If you wish to use dance as your way of magic," she tells you, "you cannot skimp on your commitments. Pursue it in earnest, and make it the core of your identity, sharing the hopes and dreams and sorrows of those who have walked this way before you, indulging the traditions. Work to be the prima donna, and dance for the world."
"This is only conditionally necessary?" you ask, to clarify. "If I wanted to do magic as dance specifically?"
She nods.
"Magic is sometimes quite sensitive to
firsts, but it values traditions and commitments more strongly. One of the tricks of the incubator system is to force both at once: a contract to fight forever, and a powerful first wish to shape those powers for ever. But you are not party to such a contract, and you are not the first creature to work magic. You are not bound to approach it in such a way, not after just one occasion."
"I see," you say, processing these concepts. "That's … probably for the best, I suppose."
She tilts her head and looks at you.
"You sound like I'm crushing your dream," she says. "There is something more."
You're unsure how to put it.
"I'm not sure this is my dream," you say. "No, I'm sure it's not. It contradicts so many things I want in my life. But when I think about it, I have a feeling, and it's not something I can control."
"There is a Greek word," she says. "Akrasia. A failure of self-control. Acting against your better judgment, and thus harming yourself. Is it on account of this that you worry?"
You ponder a moment.
"A little," you admit, "but I am perhaps more concerned that my judgment is at risk. I have found contradictions in my original programming that I cannot reconcile, and while I still pursue similar aims, it no longer compels me directly, as it once did. In its absence, my priorities confuse me, and I find myself... fascinated by things which I feel I ought not be."
"Do any of these things happen to involve romance?" she asks, very seriously.
"Yes," you admit. "That would be the area of focus."
"My preliminary diagnosis," concludes Nadeshiko, gravely, "is that you are a teenage girl. Take two love poems and call me in the morning."
She drops her act of seriousness and smiles a very big smile.
You blink in disbelief.
"I … I'm slightly under the impression it's more than that!" you exclaim.
"Oh?" she asks, making a show of being taken aback. "You might be surprised."
"I'm not supposed to want these things!" you object.
She laughs with delight. "Oh my! My dear Clarisse is afflicted with a serious case of forbidden love!"
"I'm serious!" you say.
"Oh, I know that you are," she says. "And perhaps, next, you will tell me how delighted you are to imagine yourself giving up everything, for such a love."
"I —"
You are slightly speechless. She does understand.
"But … but… why??" you ask, frustrated at her for having such answers. "I didn't have this before, not like this, and I don't recall asking for it!"
"Well, what I understand of it is this," she says. "You've always had a genome as a part of you, but because of the shape of your body, not all of it was active. Recently, you have found new parts of it expressed, and a specific, messy, human part of it is one of them. What you make of this is up to you. Have you been compromised? Are you experiencing a part of yourself that you didn't even know you had? Was it wrongly taken away from you, in the first place?"
You frown.
Nadeshiko continues. "As for the
specifics of why — well, some of that is my fault. We're related, you see."
(Of course in principle, she should be a rather distant relationship at this point, but, well, what's a six sigma genetic profile between friends?)
"The other reason why," she begins, then pauses. "I will tell it to you in a moment, actually. First, back to the matter of your choice. What do you think of my garden?" she asks.
"It's quite lovely," you say, politely, not seeing the connection.
"What do you think of the place that it is in?" she asks. "The palace. The heart of the Star Empire, at the center of human civilization. Is it lovely? What of this juxtaposition? Is it not unsettling?"
"Profoundly," you say.
She nods.
"My path does not confront this directly. I sit here, before the seat of injustice, and I do not raise a hand against it. Rather, I pull the world ever so gently towards mercy and compassion, through small acts of kindness, care, and counsel. I cultivate myself and my manners that I might incarnate a symbol of gentleness, of meekness, of compassion. Those whose hearts I slowly move are neither those most in need of a gentle touch, nor those who most deserve such things themselves. I do not even work to heal the world. I may from time to time, in passing, help the lowly, and it is a great joy, but my true work is to sow the seeds of change in those who would harm it, that they might not. The fruits of my labor are distant and uncertain, my joys are mingled with sorrow, and too many of my days are spent in waiting. Now, tell me, is this the sort of existence that you seek for yourself?"
You shake your head no.
"That's not what I want," you say.
She nods.
"A person has many differing motives, goals, duties, purposes, passions," she says. "They are often in conflict, and one has to choose. No one escapes this. But few souls, whether clever or fortunate, will see them aligned more than not. Some will find or create the opportunities to make them happy without changing themselves. Others cultivate their own feelings like a garden, adapting to thrive in the niche where they are."
"I think if you pursued the path you described, you would appreciate the intensive pursuit of technical excellence, and having a structure to your life, and maybe even being the center of attention. You would be happy because you were loved, and that is no small thing. But that world is a little too small, too rarefied. You would act more directly than I do, perhaps, but you would need to be the sort of a symbol that you ought not be. It would crush something in you, and leave you ruined."
You nod. It seems quite a decisive opinion on the matter.
"Thank you," you say.
She gives you a hug, smiling.
"Now, then, this is very important," she says, letting you go, and she becomes more serious. "It is about Ryouko. Both of them, perhaps, but your Ryouko, specifically."
"Yes?" you ask.
"Her wish," says Nadeshiko. "One thing she wanted was to find her place in the universe. For this to happen she must understand she fits into history, and learn the stories of those who came before her, and how those stories have shaped her."
You nod. "People do seem to like telling her things about the family history," you agree.
"With that in mind," she asks, "would you say that she is passionate, like the others? With the sort of passion that you, yourself, have experienced?"
"... Well, not in the same way, no," you say, confused. "She's different."
"But sometimes, she does lose control," says Nadeshiko, "and loses herself in intense emotions, and acts without regard to her own well-being."
"No?" you say, confused for a moment. "She's never felt like that, and the only time she ever loses control is when —"
You stop, and you realize the other time that you lost control.
Kyuubey deserved it, of course, but, the intensity of the feeling, the disregard for everything else but your goal… You didn't feel the same reckless disregard for your own life; it wasn't quite on the line. But Ryouko has, and she felt the same way. And if Nadeshiko is saying they're the same, if that's the part that she says you share with Ryouko…
"Are you suggesting," you ask her, alarmed, "that part of her passion was
taken from her, so that she would be better at … at killing things?"
Nadeshiko nods.
You feel a terrible sinking feeling inside.
"I think there is something she needs to see in you," says Nadeshiko, "for as you are right now, you are closer to what Ryouko
might have been, than she is herself—"
"Clarisse?" calls Kyouko. "Are you back?"
"She's back," says a tiny voice.
You look over. Kyouko is not holding the feather any more; instead there is a very small magical girl sitting on Kyouko's shoulder, like an angel, with fluffy white wings. She is not simply miniature, she has silly proportions as well, a chibi angel.
She extends her miniature star staff, twirls it about, and dismisses the barrier.
"Um," says Kyouko. "She asked to borrow an illusion."
You nod. An angel on her shoulder is probably a comforting to her, as well.
"How bad was it?" you ask.
"She said mean things about my father, and tested my commitment to my faith," said Kyouko. "But of course it didn't work."
"What did she say exactly?" you ask.
"She said that he preached lies, and that I'm likely to turn into a witch," says Kyouko.
You are not certain what her intent is with that. Is she legitimately concerned, or did she just do something clever?
She did leave a note, with the only access that you granted her.
Dear Clarisse,
I understand we've had some difficulties in seeing eye to eye. Allow me to explain my position: I was stuck with an infinitely bad timeline. I sought to replace it. That wasn't the hard part, the hard part was not erasing Ryouko from existence permanently. I am confident that you will understand this was of the utmost importance.
Ryouko's existence is fragile. It is not that her genetics are extensively engineered: there are remarkable statistical improbabilities throughout her family tree. Someone has steered fate across many generations to make her possible; she is not a natural occurrence. This is why I sent Simona to copy the two of you from another existence.
It's not going to work. Here is where I went wrong: I can't count to two.
There was interference even before I contacted you — and no, it wasn't your cleverness, or your time loop shenanigans, it's someone I didn't account for, someone with time powers. I naturally suspect your friend Homura. It would fit, for she was not a magical girl in my timeline, and I did not think to account for such a thing: but I cannot understand her motives, and doubt that she has such guile.
I have no idea how your current universe has a stable independent existence. It would take a shockingly large amount of magic power to make it happen, and the godlike entity who I've met is not providing it. This is alarming.
The plan that I outlined for you to save your home universe is sound, it just happens to involve promoting it from a simulation to a reality, granting it an existence independent of any computer. This is actually incredibly straightforward: it just requires absurd amounts of power: I understand you have found sources of power which begin to be capable. (You continue to need Nanami's railgun to attack the Squid homeworld and destroy the Overmind — in your Governance universe, naturally; I don't know that they've even built it yet in 2011.)
And here is the counting:
Nanami's wish didn't create any new human bodies, it just reconfigured them. I know this. When I sent Simona to get you from the Governance timeline, I didn't realize that you were sharing a body with Ryouko, nor that Mami had another AI inside her either. I had never in my wildest dreams imagined such things would be done; I had thought your universe was supposed to the Princess's new model of integrity and ethics.
I thought you were going to bring two bodies, a Ryouko and a Clarisse. But you only brought one, and now I'm not certain that it was saved from the labyrinth at all, and now I have a really, really bad feeling that something absolutely terrible is going to happen to the Princess, because it's already happened
The letter cuts out. She must have just been expressing that thought when you returned.
You take a deep breath.
"Thank you," you tell Kyouko, and give her a quick hug. "There. A hug should be safe. That was ... something. I'm going to change back, okay?"
Kyouko nods. She seems to be doing better.
In retrospect you're not sure it was wise to have done that. You may have been slightly under the influence of something Kyouko said. While it worked out, it is troubling in principle. You're troubled by what you've learned, but it's not yet clear there's something you can
do about it.
What is clear is that having Oriko's help, her bona fide help, might be a great boon, to this and other efforts.
> Try to get the group to give Oriko some freedom
>> Argue she has been very helpful if a bit annoying
For instance:
> Attempt to get in touch with the magical girls somehow, even if they are in a "crusader" faction. Perhaps you could defuse the issue.
Ryouko's physical safety remains important, after all. And this world isn't nothing.
"They have a better sense of the world's power structure," says Oriko. "I believe there were a few targeted sorties into various cities, with a modicum of discretion, and then approached the United Nations quite openly."
"Thank you again," you tell her. "This has, again, been quite helpful. I wonder, Oriko. Would you be willing to consider working with us in earnest?"
"You know what the funny thing is, Clarisse?" Oriko asks, shaking her head. "Kyouko, when she was working with me, talked sometimes about building a better world. We have spoken since, while she was serving as guard. And none of her lectures could never sway me, because I already know that I have a reason to live, and it is the essence of my wish. She could never tell me to desist. But one offhanded remark about
trust, and I am
compelled to tell you that I have been working behind your back this very evening."
This is also a bad feeling. Was she talking with the other Clarisse? Is that even possible?
"... Just now?" you ask.
"No," she says. "When you were distracting Kyouko, earlier."
You frown.
"What did you do??" you ask.
"Oh, I spoke with your invisible friend," she says, with a smirk.
You frown.
"Kirika?" you ask. "Hinata Aina? Miroko Mikuru."
She shakes her head. "Not at all."
"Yuma?" you ask.
"The funny part," says Oriko, disregarding these questions, "is just how brazen she can be."
"What are you trying to accomplish?" you demand.
"I am trying to save humanity. In this case, from an alien menace," she says. "Which presently involves no small amount of
managing you, so that you don't get yourself killed, cause any diplomatic incidents with the aliens, or
let people start time wars by leaving magical artifacts unprotected."
> Oriko is "helping." Can you tell?
[ ] Disregard Oriko's meddling and proceed to extend her trust anyway.
[ ] Question Oriko further about the interloper, but don't use any more magic on her.
[ ] Revive the idea of using magic to ensure her loyalty.
- [ ] Get Kyouko to
make more suggestions to Oriko and further adjust her anything-goes, "at all costs" attitude
- [ ] Get her to swear an oath of loyalty
-- [ ] To Ryouko
-- [ ] To the Gang of Nice
-- [ ] To you
- [ ] (write in some other approach)
[ ] Oriko is too much trouble. Put her on ice.
- [ ] Keep her soul somewhere, and get Nanami to help preserve her body in a tank.
- [ ] Lock her up in a magic circle indefinitely.
(This will occupy your Sakura feather.)
[ ] You've figured out who the interloper is just now. Confront (write in) directly.
Please supply detailed reasoning to support your conclusion, but outside the vote block.
