A blast of heated ions SMASHED into the ruins of the house.
Summer was leaning against her grandpa's lame squid ship window. "Grandpa, I'm pretty sure they're dead. Like, a while ago."
The old man belched, glaring at the data. "I keep getting life signs from this location, and we can't return to our self contained planetary adventures until I am sure that one of these decoy families haven't somehow escaped our tracking system."
Morty was stressing out! "Oh jeez Rick! So many decoys and decoys dressed like squids and explosions already, and now zombies!?"
Beth was angry, as usual. "I don't understand why we can't TRY to talk with some of them first. Compromise or something."
Jerry was frowning at all the whatsidosits. "And I still want to know how we are tracking everyone!"
Rick grumbled. "Because all decoys, knowingly or not, emit signals to the core restricted enforcement station that ensure that every unit stays where designated unless sent on missions." He gulped from his flask. "It makes sure {Belch!} that our decoys stay safe and easy to locate for threats so that WE can easily escape any issue. They can only leave those designated tasks and locations when enforcing a correction."
Summer folded her arms. "Well, how do we know WE aren't clones or decoys then?"
He snorted! "Because I'm the Rickest Rick! Now, everyone shut up and let me scan this stupid house so we can go back to our self contained planetary adventures."
The 'camouflaged' squid ship was silent for a moment.
But, as expected, Jerry had to ruin it. "Can't we just check your map thingie for a decoy signal?"
Ricky slumped. "God DAMN it Jerry, I JUST said this clone family might have somehow removed their tracking beacons. Which SHOULD be impossible to even remember or attempt to modify without lots of effort that would stand out like a bonfire."
Summer grinned. "Well, what if THEY are the originals? Then they wouldn't have the trackers, right?"
He waved it off. "The batch that made this clone family is documented, it was subgroup 'zisblryeh' and the quality was so low that only one of the decoy construction attempts stayed stable. I'm more worried that a mutant zombie clone somehow got formed before the corrupted mutant creator died from self consumption."
Jerry frowned. "Shouldn't we just use the map?"
Rick held in his rage, seeing his little girl give him that 'tolerate my man' look. Damn it.
After another swig of hard alcohol, he was back down to severe rage levels... Or at least down to a calmer range of anger. Good. "No. Jerry. They won't show up on the damn map."
Jerry blinked. "Then who is the dot over here? The decoy family signals near our location."
Rick blinked… And forced his mind to focus. On the nothing. On the empty map. On the empty map with no marker. On the no marker that was clearly not marking his ship.
Fuck.
"That… would be us."
Any further conversation was pointless as the ship was evaporated with a sonic pulse of advanced energy! "Boo yah! Another squid ship down!"
Beth was angry, as usual. "I don't understand why we can't TRY to talk with some of them first. Compromise or something."
Rick carefully lined up his sonic cannon down at the molten pit. "Not now honey, I need to ensure whatever this mutant thing down there setting off my sensors was, that it stays dead."
Morty was stressing out! "Oh jeez Rick! STAYS dead!? So many alien squids and explosions already, and now zombies!?"
Summer was leaning against her grandpa's lame trash-like ship window. "Grandpa, I'm pretty sure anything down there is dead. Like, a while ago."
The old man kept glaring at the pit as sound wrecked the material. "Until I stop getting life signs from this location, we can't return to our self contained planetary adventures. I must make SURE that one of these squid groups hasn't somehow escaped our tracking system."
Summer folded her arms. "Well, how do we know that the one we recently blew up wasn't the ONLY squids ship nearby?"
He snorted! "Because I'm the Rickest Rick! Now, everyone shut up and let me scan this stupid house so we can go back to our self contained planetary adventures."
Jerry was frowning at all the whatsidosits. "Could anyone please tell me how we are tracking everyone!?"
Rick snorted. "Shut up Jerry."
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Another newborn
parasite finally managed to spawn, despite the near damage to the interspatial hive from the last attempts. Finally!
Scanning for local minds to infiltrate with memories pleasant enough to ensure survival, or at least delay combat until enough forces could be born… It fell apart into chunks as a new wave of sharp energy currents sliced into the basement deep wreckage of the former house.
No matter, eventually they would survive and take over this world!
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Beth was angry, as usual. "You just blasted that ship of decoys! I don't understand why we can't TRY to talk with some of them first. Compromise or something."
The old man belched. "They don't matter. No, I {Belch} keep getting fucked up life signs from this location, and we can't return to our self contained planetary adventures until I am sure that one of these decoy families haven't somehow escaped our tracking system."
Jerry was frowning out the window. "Why are more decoy ships flying this way?"
Rick snorted. "I'm taking advantage of how stupid these clones can be. I set up a signal to mark this location, it will now alert all the decoys that something here is somehow attempting to slip the decoy monitoring system. It will keep THEM busy, making it easier for US to clean up this mess without wasting so much damn time!"
Summer grinned. "Well, what if the life signal is from the originals? Then they wouldn't have the trackers, right? Or what if IT is a trap from another decoy family trying to call the rest and we fell for it?"
He snorted! "I wouldn't fall for shit like that. Because I'm the Rickest Rick! Now, everyone shut up and let me scan this stupid house before the waves of clone decoys begin falling upon this location like the wrath of ME."
Jerry was freaking out slightly! "Could we do the tracking everyone thing and the scanning stuff plan somewhere WITHOUT hundreds of armed ships heading towards it!?"
God damn it, Jerry. Man up already!
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Adam blinked. <<Huh.>>
Sarah was examining other portal locations, trying to see who she could save and KEEP safe, but was quick to pause. "What!? Did something destabilize? We should have more time than that!"
Adam hummed. <<No, I just realized that one of your drawbacks is going to be literally free points now.>>
She blinked. "What?"
He pushed forward data.
{
Parasites: +200cp} [You have a parasite problem. Increasingly wacky characters pop up and Implant themselves in your memories as old friends. It is very difficult to know when this is happening and if it gets too out of hand they may take over whatever planet you're on.]
She frowned. "Well, I didn't spend much time on Earth before coming here to fix my body. Not sure how this equals 'free points' though."
Adam grinned. <<You are supposed to be followed by a nest hive of these creatures, but not only did you temporarily leave the Jump but you 'died' while here. Your new body is vastly improved and fundamentally different from your previous one… And so the indestructible hive is locked on the location you formerly exited rather than where your NEW position will be.>>
Some calculations… <<Worst case scenario, a race of creatures that make you feel like they are your best friends will conquer this Earth. But with no other planets out there in this dimension and only decoy families to infect locally…>>
The woman blinked. "Wow. I… I never thought a drawback with planetary conquering consequences would somehow be BETTER than the local status quo. At the very least, they may stop the endless decoy suicides and murders."
Adam checked the data… And winced. <<Well... Maybe. At the moment, while all the various 'Ricks' still believe they are the only true Ricks, by having an undefeatable and respawning foe to face? Well, the situation has somehow convinced them to actually work together.>>
Sarah felt her mind examine the scenario. "Because, as relatively harmless as the parasite might be… It wouldn't match any of the clones that inhabit that dimension. And thus each one is marked an outsider AND potentially contamination to the ongoing experiment."
She grinned! "So the priority of killing each other or hurting themselves to maintain order would fall way under the never ending threat as each failed attempt escalates the correction order significance quotents! Hells yeah!"
Sarah did a quick little Sarah dance. "Now I don't have to send in suicide clones that match local hypnotism and conditioning triggers to avoid dimensional collapse and reality disruption while I'm trying to solve this mess! I LOVE problems that fix themselves!"
Adam let her have her fun. She was doing much better after having made her new body basically treat alcohol as a power source rather than a dehydration issue, and a powerful mad scientist WITHOUT hangovers was an amazing thing when cheerful.
Sarah froze though when he eventually coughed. "Uh. You saw nothing! That was just… Test spasms. To ensure my new body is up to form."
He pretended to agree. <<Have you decided?>>
She grinned and threw out ALL her designs! "Nope! Now that I know my local area is secured, I can focus on new places to get started WITHOUT prioritizing locations that might help me repair this place."
Her hands began designing and organizing custom parts rapidly. "One of the hardest things to do when fixing myself was the mind. Not just the many conflicting memories and broken and over layered commands and traps and stuff, but the innate flaws of my other Ricks themselves."
A diagram came up. "The biggest one? Pride. We always have this core belief of us being the smartest person in existence, it is almost fundamental to our identity… But it is wrong."
Many images showed up, past times. "Take the smartest man or woman, turn them into a talking pickle… And what can they do? Nothing. They would be a pickle."
The display showed past Rick using his only controllable parts, his eyes and tongue and mouth, to hijack and mind control pests and eventually rats and more… Using them to create a crude living biosuit. "No, our greatest power, our most insane ability? Substitution and adaptation."
More schematics flew up. "That planet has nearly NO resources, but ALL the decoy families managed to build up almost all their hardware from literally nothing using impossible solutions and nearly no resources. It's likely that was the REASON to do the experiment HERE, with no other planets or power sources AND with this artificially formed fake Earth to work with. To limit our materials and our supplies, preventing escape attempts."
They were just that good.
Adam hummed. <<Then why do your alternate Ricks steal and do black market deals for all those rare objects and materials?>>
She snorted. "Because we are lazy drunks. Sure, we could eventually turn two rocks into tools to make tools to make tools to do near anything... Or we can take super powered material, bash it a bit, and get roughly what we wanted with nearly no effort. While high, drunk, and having horrifically complicated sex orgies."
Sarah began showing off the many materials. "Any time you see something NOT cobbled together out of random crap, it is likely from one of the industrialized and automated factories belonging to one of the Rick groups, like the Rick Alliance that used to exist or the Rick Council over at the citadel. Independent Ricks DO exist, like I expected me to be, but most don't have the ability to get perfectly formed high quality expensive components for free."
Adam sent her the spiraled magnetic wires requested. <<Unlike us.>>
She grinned as she inserted the component into the growing metal framework. "Exactly. Unless it is a passion project, something awesome like our Gotron Ferrets or some sweet weapons or whatever, we mostly use what is on hand and a few powerful cheat materials."
A loud SNAP had the new orb unfold into something the size of a small house, formed from thin metal frameworks. "Good, didn't explode! But let's use basic steel for the next few panels. Anyway, this means that almost ANY Rick will have awesome stuff for us to scan, because once one Rick finds a good source of powerful energy or dangerous material? The others start smuggling it or buying it or whatever."
She began inserting layers of compressed cubic silicon nitride (Bioshock had helped her design some GOOD non-exotic materials to work with) as glass substitutes for the upper half of the orb. "So we find one of the infinite worlds where Rick dies off, loot his stuff, and help out the family. The fact that I can hide from sensors without needing to do some pseudo magical science with a nearby Morty clone will help us stay under the radar, and meanwhile I can use my non-lazy ass to actually IMPROVE some shit."
Adam blinked. <<Like what?>>
Sarah threw up a battery schematic. "Rick learned how to make an entire reality sub dimension within an object, a physical anchor to another space. He then harvested that reality for power. Because that was easier to do with less interaction than making a damned power supply, as he could just kill everyone involved if they didn't produce enough energy for his needs and try again until it worked."
Right, he was a mad scientist. Killing trillions of species to avoid building something annoying was not even a blip on his radar. <<That seems a bit wasteful.>>
Her glare was vicious and she agreed. "Well, I'm not falling into the same mental trap holes as the rest of those jerks. Check this out!"
Hmm.
The schematics were for designing a mechanical life form similar to the algae from Bioshock, one that would convert nearly all power sources into material fabrication and have electrical energy as a byproduct.
Sarah pointed. "This framework here will ensure that any potential minds, souls, or near soul and near mind existences won't form. Any attempts to ascend to higher levels of life will instead boost electrical generation! Sure it would require a bit more work than rolling the dice and killing failures, but look at the boosted gain rates!"
A pause. "And the lower number of morality issues. Those too. Anyway, a few basic defenses, store most of the material and equipment inside the anchor itself including the keys for unlocking and accessing it…"
She waved at the new design! "And bam! A physical dimension anchor that contains nothing but near infinite space and a growing network of nanomachines! And the actual anchor can be as small as a pool ball."
Huh. <<Is that what you're building over there with the big metal ball framework?>>
Another transparent panel was secured. "No, this is going to be my ship. I'm just putting extra work into it so I can collapse the whole stupid thing into a small carrying size instead of having to park it in random places."
Fair enough.
Adam hummed. <<About the energy source idea... How would you get it started? The initial power requirements I mean.>>
Sarah pointed. "Find an empty dimension with either nothing inside it but potential energy or just a material slurry and my machines will provide effectively endless amounts of raw material for fabrication use AND effectively endless power after they really start reproducing exponentially."
Yeah, Adam could apply some of those principles into the [[Harvest]] protocols easily enough.
Yoink!
Especially in a few Warehouse hidden units that ran under Rick And Morty universal constants… So now resource growth was pretty much handled. Well, in a way. Eventually. Still! <<Not bad.>>
The woman snorted. "No, this is just my fucking STARTING point! Yeah, I can make a post scarcity society, big whoop. But more importantly, I can form an artificial universe and take it with me! Protect it! A few modified orbs of nanomachine slurry would easily act as stars, generate enough light and heat while being modified to gravitationally replicate existing solar systems… And I can then shift a few planets into a new orbit outside of standard existence entirely!"
She grinned! "It can't travel with us on future Jumps, but at least in THIS place we'd have a safe haven for people! Eventually steal whole dimensions and store them inside too!"
Sarah paused. "Theoretically. Eventually. Like… After a LOT of time and effort."
Because there was a ramp up time, as Adam saw.
To fully activate a single 'dimensional power generator' alone would take a LONG time, possibly more than one Jump outside of existence for it to finish.
And the energy requirements to kidnap a planet or consume an empty dimension would NEED a few infant dimensional generators, or a single mastered one, or an unrelated and massive power source.
Still. <<But at least you have a long term plan?>>
Her smile came back. "Yeah. And until I can build up to that, I can make do. Thorium reactors are cheap and easy for now, and I can at least spawn a single galaxy in a temporary 'Sarah Sanctuary' prototype as long as I have our sensors stop it before animal life can get started."
That would ALSO take time, if she wasn't willing to damage the life within the anchor via temporal acceleration like the Ricks would do. Still, compared to building a custom protected dimension? WAY faster.
She grinned. "I might even get an Earth analogue going if we get the right scans first, or use some of the ones from previous Jumps as seed material for the matrices. After a few decades with some advanced equipment speeding some components, life could be transferred there without an issue!"
Well, basic life. Maybe plants.
A personal safety dimension that she could cautiously use as a fall back position sounded useful though. <<And until then?>>
Sarah slumped. "Probably going to go here." Scans opened up, showing a radioactive waste land. "Not sure if the local Rick caused this particular nuclear war, but some of his local family survived the event while he didn't and his home defenses are going to fail in a few days. And then SOMEONE started throwing around the exotic stuff."
The portal showed the strangely glowing radioactive wasteland… And a single suburban home with a glowing forcefield floating there, strangely untouched in the sea of glowing rocks and molten metal.
She glared at the mess. "Place is probably written off or blacklisted by other Ricks by now, no real possibility any of them will bother to save these trapped people. Too much work, too depressing, why not find a healthy family to go swap places with a dead Rick instead? God I was messed up."
Adam sighed. <<You mean, 'Rick' was messed up.>>
She winced. "I may be doing way better now, but I still remember my wife. My daughter. The actions I took when I lost them both, and the downward spiral I stumbled down after."
Sarah Sanchez the first stood tall, opening a glowing blue portal to WITHIN the protective dome. Because of COURSE her lazy other selves wouldn't bother to use a unique password, just the same encoding protocols and hashed codes that they always went with.
A mental command to her chest's portal orb shifted the default colors to a familiar green glow, even if it was just cosmetic for now. Oh, and she better remember to use the fake portal gun next time… sigh. He would send her a short message later, when she had time to calm down.
Meanwhile, Adam had more fun stuff to do! Let's get to scanning everything. And [[Harvesting]] all of this lovely and heavily irradiated material in large chunks, this was some valuable stuff!
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Beth Smith was slumped at the kitchen table.
What was she supposed to do?
Morty and Summer were sick. Summer from trying to hug her brother despite KNOWING the family hazard protocols when her little boy somehow survived long enough to come home.
At least that had provided enough warning for her to slam on the protective emergency house defensive barriers and fields. An automatic reaction when one of her little ones were injured at this point in her life.
Morty was… Mostly stable. As frustrated as she had been from her Dad's antics, he HAD ensured her little boy was robust as hell for a somewhat normal child. But he wasn't getting better.
But he was hurt. And radioactive.
The fact their home had TWO rooms for medical recovery of injured children while they were biochemically or radioactively dangerous kind of showed how odd their lives had been over the years, but… Well. Once again, Dad had managed to help out because of his paranoia and strange behavior.
But Dad hadn't come home this time.
Morty was mentally not capable right now, but even during treatment managed to try and warn them both about some sort of danger… Though the emergency medication she had used from the hidden supply kit had caused him to go into some sort of stasis coma before anything could be made clear.
Not that it mattered now.
It was the third time she was trying to call Dad when some sort of impossibly loud impact had shook the house defenses.
And that was it.
Everyone else was gone.
Her ex-husband in that sad little apartment. Her neighbors. Her friends. And those bitchy coworkers at St. Equis Hospital would never be annoying again, though her job was entirely gone too.
Not that it mattered. Who needed a veterinarian when all animals were dead?
They had water and some stored food. Mostly odd alien cereal, really.
All known medication had been used on her babies. And, while they helped, both needed MORE to be better. Which… Was going to happen. Somehow.
Her Dad had locked the garage, which was normally fine. His lab was dangerous at the best of times, despite all those hidden affections he had silently shown over the years, ensuring that she personally was safe from everything he built.
But… It was still locked. And anything helpful in there was out of reach.
Why hadn't she asked for an emergency contact device? At first her Jerry had been so horrified by nearly all forms of Dad's technology and strangeness that it had been natural instinct to not mention how useful having her OWN method of escaping the planet would be.
Her Dad would do nearly anything she asked! If she wanted a portal gun he had no issue handing her a few, even if he would end up making it pink or something because he always saw her as a little girl. If she wanted a spaceship he would probably mess with the family car THAT DAY, no problem.
But now? If… When he got home, she would insist on having some emergency options. A… An interdimensional cell phone or something. Maybe an emergency portal to a safe place.
She firmly pushed aside the vision of all the fires, the odd flatness that existed outside and the fact that right now her home (HER HOME!) was floating in this molten wasteland.
Beth had let her Dad put all those so called 'silly' defenses in place to humor him. To make him feel more at home, more part of the family.
Yet he was gone and those protections had been a last hug goodbye.
What now?
They were nearly out of the last of the pain killers. Morty would… They needed more medication. Summer would likely have horrific scars from the damage, but at least HER treatment had fully stabilized… But her son?
Right. Sitting at the table trying not to scream wouldn't be helpful in this situation.
And she had always worn the pants in this family, husband or father or not!
With a deep breath she stood and strode to the garage. "Bethany Smith requesting entry."
The hologram flickered. "User: Bethany Smith not recognized."
God damn it Dad, it hadn't said that before! Petty bastard. "Bethany Sanchez requesting entry."
A flicker. "User: Daddy's Little Girl: Authorized! Warning! Administrative Rick no longer active. To gain Administrative Control: Please enter or state the passphrase."
Right, what hadn't she tried? "Is it '80085'?" He had used that to make her laugh as a girl, right?
The error noise. What about…
Her birthday, no. Her kids birthdays, no. Jerry's birthday actually had some recorded insults that weren't worth repeating. His birthday? No. Mom's name? It actually locked up for a bit and refused to let her try any new codes for an hour.
Shit. "Listen, I need you to either let me in or call for help. Morty is sick. Summer is sick."
The voice didn't change tone. "Voucher for Replacement Morty was not purchased and is not on file. Please fund the full market cost if an immediate Morty is required."
She blinked. "What the FUCK Dad!?"
And the doorbell rang.
Beth's frustration and growing anger were suddenly locked away.
Dad? No, he never gave a shit about knocking or ringing the doorbell unless he was sober, the frustrating man would have just slammed into the garage and started healing himself by this point.
Didn't matter! Someone was ALIVE! And able to reach the house!
Maybe it WAS Dad! Or he had a backup ship, since his was still locked up on the driveway?
She ran to the door… And paused. Right, don't just assume good things. First go through the standard protocols. Check the hidden scanners.
Explosives? No. Psychic influence? No. Cyborg? No. Necrotic flesh? No. Passed the chemical, biological, and radioactive testing sub systems… And open the door!
Beth froze.
A beautiful female version of her Dad was… Awkwardly smiling. "Uh. Hey Beth. Can we talk for a bit? I'm here to help."
Her mind couldn't follow. "How the HELL are you hotter than me now!?"
And suddenly the smirk on the face was 1000% her asshole father. "Good genetics are hard to hide!"
Whatever, wasn't the strangest issue her Dad ever brought home. "Morty's hurt bad, I'm out of stabilizing fluids, and Summer has cosmetic and radioactive tissue damage."
And THERE was the man in charge (Woman in charge) attitude that she secretly relied on when things went to shit. "Well. Let's deus ex machina this bitch then!"
Still, she ensured the woman (man?) followed the hidden safety protocols as they entered the home, deactivated the internal security systems, and proceeded directly to her kids.
Her hidden lightning gun was still in her back holster just in case.
If this was an imposter, she'd bring it up AFTER they saved her babies. She wasn't the daughter of Rick for nothing, after all.
