This caravan was a mess.
Adam relaxed next to his new acquaintance, Xe Dian. Miss Dian was still worn from her recent fight, seemed more than a little distracted, and of course needed some time to gather her thoughts.
He leaned back in his chair, one of the set provided by Rockette from the supplies. Watching the ongoing, low level fights between his guards and the weak wolves... how lovely.
Some bread, a jar with one of the better tasting berry preserves from the Soil Grid Gardens, and some glasses of Soul Water were added to a summoned table. "So, Sister Dian... would you mind talking a bit? I mentioned before that my people and I are beyond lost at the moment."
She was watching the clear glass of water with suspicion. "Is that ALSO incredibly valuable special water?"
He blinked. Technically, since he had rivers of the stuff... "No? Just... Just normal water." She bought that right? Yeah, totally convinced! Go Adam! "Drink up, you were fighting way beyond healthy levels from what I saw."
The odd looks from the still cowering merchants and younger children were a bit expected. Most people didn't take a snack break in the middle of an ongoing conflict. Wimps.
Adam took her dirty, used towel and replaced it with a clean one, soaked in warm Soul Water and ready to help her be a bit more presentable. "Right, so questions. Where are we? Like, in relation to other places."
Thankfully, the young woman seemed so relieved to have a break from fighting that she didn't mind having a bit of a chat. She listed off the nearest towns, the more well known landmarks, and a few cities. The Sects in the area, the publicly known relationships between them, whom to avoid and what issues to not mention.
Honestly, something about drinking the Soul Water seemed to really make her relax. Like unseen wounds or past damages were being wiped away... then again, spilling a bit on her damaged arm cleared THAT whole issue up, so it shouldn't be so surprising.
As the conversation moved on a bit, Adam had Rockette look around inside his Martial Spirit.
Only five guards were allowed to join him outside the caverns, just in case Adam still had some unknown residue from the Corpse Bog. They were all pretty sure he DIDN'T, but a little extra time in the safety of Rockette's domain wouldn't hurt things.
He held up a hand, pausing a fun discussion about nearby areas with interesting wildlife. "Something changed."
Adam snapped his fingers, an unnatural 'DING!' echoing from Rockette on his shoulders and causing the guards to vanish and stand in formation. "A large number of wolves are about to join the fray, along with some sort of larger beast. Three of you guard the group over there, two guard our friend here as she recovers."
One of the guards sighed. "Sir, can't we handle this? Please?"
Adam paused... and sighed. "Fine. But don't damage the thing too much, it feels like some sort of plant animal hybrid and I want to see the body intact if possible." He blinked. "Safety first, of course. If you are in actual danger, explode the damn thing."
He leaned back in his chair. "Sister Dian, have you heard of a large cat with plant vines growing on it? Seems to have some sort of leadership skills."
The woman seemed FAR less stressed with competent fighters taking over. Good, that clearly wasn't healthy. "Maybe? It sounds like either a Vine Lion or a Tentacle Tiger. Maybe a Plain Panther, though those are way more rare. To be honest, without your people any ONE of those would easily wipe us out."
Adam hummed... and moved on. "Well, that aside, would you like to join me in some drink tests? I've been growing all sorts of interesting plants, and I have something of an ongoing quest to determine which leaves might produce the least disgusting variation of a tea substitute."
She blinked as a number of cups showed up on the table, small leaf piles on paper placed beside each. "Least disgusting?"
Adam nodded, making sure HIS samples didn't mix with hers. "All my tests use very, VERY odd plant leaves. Most never seen by other people, most so new that they have no name." He blinked. "Right, if you DO find one that doesn't taste like yuck, you get to name it. That is pretty much the only rule to this game."
She held up a glowing yellow leaf. "Huh."
Adam nodded. "Yeah, those are all probably fine. Don't touch my samples though, I am working through all the poisonous options to see if we get lucky."
Sister Dian's eyes darted to his cups... and the odd, sickly looking leaves near them. "WHAT? WHY!?"
They ignored the massive scream challenging the attacking guards in the background.
He frowned. "Well first of all, no one else traveling with me can handle poisons on this level. We theoretically have a way to make poisonous plants shift the deadly components to the roots and stems, but I don't want to bother with that unless the resulting tea tastes good."
Adam began adding a red leaf (With purple glow) to some hot Soul Water. "Obviously, it would be a waste of time to make thousands of plants safe to brew tea with if the results taste terrible. So best if I have a few cups."
He waved away a large sliced off section of tentacle so it wouldn't hit the table.
The water was now glowing blue. Was that bad? Xe Dian watched with fascinated horror as he took a sip... and grimaced. "Eugh. Aside from the paralysis effect and the theoretical nerve damage, this tastes like spoiled lemon juice and some sort of musky flavor."
He poured the mess to the side, ignoring the tea travesty as it corroded a hole in the soil. "Failure. Though it had retained a good percentage of spiritual energy... but that taste!"
She looked at her own leaves, concerned. "I'm... not sure I want to drink these."
Half a wolf bounced past the pair, making a real mess. They would need to move the caravan onwards before setting up camp, this battlefield was just becoming disgusting.
He snorted. "Your options are all tested by my Sect Sister, Xiao Quan. Safe to drink, safe to touch, safe to inhale. She tested several large batches of samples, which is why MY selection of tests all look strange."
He waved a hand. "YOUR stuff is technically 'good' tea. Full of spiritual energy, raised with an amazing environment, harvested at various times that, according to my people, should provide the best products."
The boy leaned forward. "But! They have not been taste tested. Too many samples to go through, not enough time." He sighed, watching her hesitantly begin to brew a cup with the first batch. "ANY of those would be useful for cultivation... But I want people to look FORWARD to drinking the stuff."
Because once he introduces it to his Sect, he would be forced to see it show up everywhere. Better to take time now rather than be forced to drink disgusting stuff to be 'polite' in the future.
His face fell into a gloomy stare as he looked at his next cup. "Problem is, deadly plants seem to grow faster and with more variety. And I am the only one in my team that can ignore poison and such issues... so I have to do all the work here. For every sample that you could try, I have a dozen more to work through. Bleagh." Pour out that cup too, disgusting.
A distant battle cry had Adam absently wave. "Good job! Keep on doing whatever it is!" But seriously, couldn't you people keep it down a bit? So loud.
She took her first, hesitant sip... and blinked. "It tastes... like nothing?"
Adam nodded. "About half your samples will be like that. Side effect of the plant's rapid growth. I have other variations that are supposed to taste better once they have time to grow and develop, but a lot of the early stuff? Bland at best."
He lifted his next cup... and blinked down inside the empty thing. "Dang it, another mixture that erodes glass. Rockette, can I have a ceramic mug and a replacement sample?"
Sister Dian looked up from another test cup... concerned. "Are you... really alright to drink stuff like that?"
He glanced to the side, seeing some of the leaves trying to escape their fate... and forced them under their empty cup to wait their turn for brewing. "Yeah, I am surprisingly durable. That said, while most of these drinks try to kill me in one way or another... they certainly have flavor!"
His attitude fell a bit as he forced himself to take the next sip. "Not... not good flavor though. Something about deadly plants make them develop super quickly... but not super deliciously. Not yet, at least."
He froze as a WATERFALL of bright red blood covered him, his half the table, his drink, and a good size area to the left. "What?"
A distant 'SORRY!' didn't make himself feel any less gross.
~~~Broken Adventure~~~
Xe Dian blinked as a near wave of gore covered her odd 'drinking' companion.
The boy blinked, blood pouring down his face... and looked down at his over full 'tea' cup. "...No. Rockette, consume ALL this mess, get me fresh samples, and... PTHEW, oh damn it I got it in my mouth..."
Then he caught on fire.
Because of course he did.
She didn't think she was dead, her imagination wasn't that good, but she WAS starting to think that (if she WAS still in combat) something had made her hallucinate HARD.
A quick look at HER side of the table (Spotless, a boiling container of amazing tasting water, several cups with test samples of tea) compared with HIS side of the table (Bright red, currently covered in fire. Blue fire.) didn't really make this feel more real.
The child seemed bored as blue flames evaporated flesh and blood away, leaving him clean and reaching out towards nothing, a fresh cup appearing at his touch. "I KNOW it was that one sarcastic guard who did this. Guy always seemed a bit annoyed at my antics."
She hesitantly took a sip for the next sample on her side. Another bland one. "Is he going to be a problem?"
The guy snorted. "Not for me. His boss though saw that, and she seems PISSED. Goes to show that having a high cultivation base DOESN'T mean you always make good choices."
He prepared the next cup (These leaves were brown. And square.) "On a different note, this is a trading caravan, yes? Are they willing to barter for materials?"
She blinked. "I guess? Not sure why you would though, they are mostly carrying nonperishable consumer goods. Unless you NEED lots of silk or whatever."
Adam sighed. "I suppose it would be too convenient if they had cheese or spice trimmings. Though my little one would love to get her hands on some good seasoning related plants."
She felt stunned. "You're married!?"
He blinked. "No?"
Ah. "Sorry, didn't mean to bring up bad memories. That was insensitive." She must have passed away after his child was born. He looked so young though!
Adam blinked again. "Uh... don't mention it? Anyway, we have enough supplies to live without concern for some time, it is just the luxury items my people crave right now. Still, I have access to some strange but delicious food... maybe one or two merchants in the caravan would be willing to sell some of their personal supplies for the right price."
Her attention was pulled back as a massive rumble shook the area, a Spirit Beast rising from the thin short grass that should have NEVER concealed it. Standing double the height of the wagons, a HUGE green lion stood over the five guards blocking its path, dozens of thick tentacles covered in armored segments wove a complicated attack net!
Adam frowned. "So... I assume it is a Vine Lion? Huh."
She felt her body lock up.
No, this was a VARIANT Vine Lion! It shouldn't be this big! It shouldn't be HALF this big! And what the HELL was up with those vines!? It was normally trivial to slice the things off, they needed to be flexible and that made defensive strength for the material low!
Her thoughts worsened when an absent swipe shot one of the black armored guards a dozen feet away. "Shit."
Adam nodded. "Yeah, mine was terrible too. I thought, you know, statistically... at least a FEW of these plants should be tasty. When made into tea, I mean. But even though the deadly leaves outnumber the 'fine but unknown' options by over seventy percent, they almost ALL taste HORRIBLE!"
She continued to stare at the FAR too quickly moving monster, her cup trembling in her hand.
He sighed. "But I already tasted THOUSANDS of samples, and I just know, I KNOW, that if I stop now? BAM, next cup will change my life. Make me break down in tears from the glorious deliciousness discovered within."
The Vine Lion's jaws opened in a roar... then opened again, and AGAIN, like some horrifying flower of teeth and mouth. No fucking WONDER the local wolves gave up and chose being used as meat shields over fighting this terror.
Adam frowned. "Guys, that thing is really getting loud."
A guard dodged one of the vines tipped with a wooden spike. "SORRY YOUNG MASTER!"
He waved it away. "No no, have fun. Just let me know if you want me to kill the thing."
With a depressed sigh, he turned to the next cup. "Theoretically, I know that I am being silly over this. That I should give up on these more odd plants and join your section of testing. But at this point I think I have fallen into the trap of the 'Sunk Cost Fallacy'."
Oh. The Vine Lion could discard and launch vines like nets. Holy shit.
Adam frowned. "Because I have tasted so many of these already, doing the logical thing and only testing the 'safe' stuff feels like it would have all been a waste." The blue haired child took the next sip... and smiled! "HA! That one was flavorless! Mark one for the win!"
A guard narrowly dodged a launched number of thorns, each the length of an arm.
And the boy frowned HARDER. "No, wait... there is a sour after taste. I swear, it wasn't NEARLY this frustrating when I was mutating Spirit Beasts for entertainment."
...What?
