Well... it's not supposed to be sexy, it's supposed to be unnerving and wrong. I have to admit, it disturbs me a little that you think it's sexy.
I'm going to assume that's not an intentional attempt at blaming me for your own failing. The thing that separates the abyssal behavior here from what you did before is that you didn't make it alien. There's no body horror, no blood and gore, no violence. It is... well, Axslashel ironically made a good point for what this scene resembles and why that's a bad thing.
Yeah, I assumed that was supposed to be squick.
For me it shows that Snow Queen really cares for Raider princess but in a twisted way. It also show the Snow Queens manipulative side in how far she is willing to go to keep Raider Princess her peronal possession even though it goes against Raider Princess's wishes. I can't really put it into words but I also think there is something to be said about them thinking that love equals sexual desire that really shows their immaturity/mental deficiency (really unsure about if these are the right words). In a way they are similar to New Jersay and Musashi's relationship except in their case it also includes destructive violence.
Look, I can tell you two both see what the intent was behind this. But you can't ignore when something is not worded or written correctly, and gives a very different, very wrong, message. Ax, it's funny that you bring up the Jersey and Mushi scene, since their scene of literal hatefucking scene got smacked by the SB staff for being pornographic. And that's pretty much what we've got here with the two Nazi Abyssals.

I'm not saying it shouldn't have been NSFW, SV is a NSFW site. But it's hitting a very different mark than it should hit, and should be easily fixable.
 
Just teasing you, dude. You're the one who brought up "Abyssals are sexy."
See this face?
:anger:
This is not the face of someone laughing.

When I say "this part of the story doesn't work", a response of "guess you like to watch sisters fuck" is not ok. It sounds like you're an author who can't take criticism and deals with it by making insults.
 
I think everyone might want to take a step back before this goes pear shaped in bad ways? Please?
 
Twatter
Maybe an update will change the subject.

- - - - - - - - -


Battleship Wisconsin brought a half-gloved hand to the small of her back and smiled as her fingers closed around the cool titanium of her tomahawk. She'd never had fingers before, nor had she ever had the chance to feel what the wickedly-sharp throwing axe felt like herself. It was exactly like what she'd dreamed it'd be like though.

She lifted the axe from its cradle, tossing it in the air only to catch it by the hilt. A few hundred yards ahead, Mo was steaming down the harbor with musclebound, tattooed arms spread wide. Her rifles thundered over her deck, dropping one-ton slugs to her left and right while her five-inch batteries hammered with tiny rage at anything remotely swastika-esque.

Wisky smiled. She wasn't like Mo. Or any of her sisters, really. Iowa the President's ship. Jersey the most decorated battleship in American history. Mo the movie star and Arizona's eternal guardian. She was just… Wisky. The littlest Iowa. Her only claim to fame was that one UAV incident, and even that wasn't much to brag about. She was far more proud that she got to call Iowa, Jersey, and Mo her sisters.

It didn't hurt that they tended to hog the limelight. Wisky'd never really gotten comfortable with the idea of being on television. She liked observing events with drones—ideally with a hot cup of coco in hand—not being inthem.

The littlest Iowa shrugged. All eyes were on Mo. Which was fine, because it meant she could do this without getting embarrassed.

"Hadoken!" Wisky pulled her arm back and hurled her tomahawk with all her might. The axe spun from her hand a whirlwind of polished titanium death and heartbeats later exploded with a cough of smoke-billowing rocket into the angry cruise-missile she knew and loved.

Jersey would kill her for that. Wisky had to stifle a giggle. She was providing shore support! It was time to be a Professional Iowa. She brought her hand to her back, picking another axe and testing the weight in her hand.

"Wisconsin here," she said, hoping her voice sounded right. She'd never had a voice before, it didn't quite sound like she'd thought it would. Of course, you always sound different to yourself, right? "Where do you want the next one?"

"Artillery battery," crackled back the Marine on the other end. Wisky hadn't caught his name when he introduced himself, and now she was afraid to ask. "Royal Kunia. Third hole!"

Wisky squinted and shifted a fragment of her attention to her orbiting drone. The buzzing in her ear was annoying, but it was a view of the battlefield that most battleships would kill for. "Yeah, I see it. Just north of the green. Looks like… a half dozen guns."

"That's the one! Could you make it go away please?"

Wisky beamed. She was a battleship. She was a battleship born about two years after battleships were conclusively proven obsolete. She was a battleship who'd spent decades of her life tooling around looking for something to do and finding precious little in a world of nuclear carriers and guided missiles.

Now things were different.

Now she had something to do.

"Whoo-shashasha!" Wisky felt the need to provide an onomatopoeia for the axe leaving her hand herself. She couldn't help it. She was helpful again! This was awesome!

—|—|—​
"God-fucking-dammit!" Jersey clawed at her eyes, angry in ways that mere words could only hint at expressing, and even then only if written in nintey-six point boldface. Her sister. Was the most embarrassing boat. On the goddamn planet. Holy fuck, she loved the little shit, but…

Just…

Holy fuck!

"You know~" Naka started with a teasing lilt.

"Shut the fuck up!" snapped Jersey, her cheeks as red as Naka's dress wasn't. Why did Wisky have to be like this. In front of her friends too! And even Naka! "I swear to secnav, one more word and I'm force-feeding you your own ass."

"But—"

"No!" snapped the Iowa. "No live-streaming, or live-tweeting, or snapping or… or… or any fucking small internet noise."

"Fine," Naka huffed and crossed her arms.

Yuudachi opened her mouth to say something.

"Don't!"

Yuudachi closed it again.

Meanwhile, Battleship Musashi stared at the horizon and gulped, wondering what fresh hell she was about to enter. Amaterasu herself couldn't help her now. There were three of them.
 
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So are Whisky and Mo missing almost all of their WWII AA? Ouch. Sure, they have the have most of their 5/38s, but outside of those Sea Whizs, they're kinda lacking.
 
Whats the matter Musashi, afraid of being drawn into having to deal with them all night long? I dont think you would survive that if just one Iowa girl wore you out. FOr all this talk of IJN Superioroty...You are lacking.

But still, that was damn awesome. why must you feed us such delicious crack, and then have it end?

WOrd has to be making it to someone about what is going on right now. SOmeone in the Chain of Command, Somewhere, has to be being informed about the two self summons of Whiskey and Mo and then avenging the fuck out of Pearl.
 
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Battleship Wisconsin brought a half-gloved hand to the small of her back and smiled as her fingers closed around the cool titanium of her tomahawk. She'd never had fingers before, nor had she ever had the chance to feel what the wickedly-sharp throwing axe felt like herself. It was exactly like what she'd dreamed it'd be like though.
Why the hell not have both?
"Hadoken!" Wisky pulled her arm back and hurled her tomahawk with all her might. The axe spun from her hand a whirlwind of polished titanium death and heartbeats later exploded with a cough of smoke-billowing rocket into the angry cruise-missile she knew and loved.
... yeah, that's a weeb alright. Also, the axe turns into a missile. That's pretty neat.
Jersey would kill her for that. Wisky had to stifle a giggle.
I, on the otherhand, will merely wag my finger at you and remind you there are fighting games that have characters with throwing axes.
She was providing shore support! It was time to be a Professional Iowa. She brought her hand to her back, picking another axe and testing the weight in her hand.

"Wisconsin here," she said, hoping her voice sounded right. She'd never had a voice before, it didn't quite sound like she'd thought it would. Of course, you always sound different to yourself, right? "Where do you want the next one?"

"Artillery battery," crackled back the Marine on the other end. Wisky hadn't caught his name when he introduced himself, and now she was afraid to ask. "Royal Kunia. Third hole!"
Marine special forces.
Well, that explains the right-quick destruction of the towers.
Wisky squinted and shifted a fragment of her attention to her orbiting drone. The buzzing in her ear was annoying, but it was a view of the battlefield that most battleships would kill for. "Yeah, I see it. Just north of the green. Looks like… a half dozen guns."

"That's the one! Could you make it go away please?"

Wisky beamed. She was a battleship. She was a battleship born about two years after battleships were conclusively proven obsolete. She was a battleship who'd spent decades of her life tooling around looking for something to do and finding precious little in a world of nuclear carriers and guided missiles.

Now things were different.

Now she had something to do.

"Whoo-shashasha!" Wisky felt the need to provide an onomatopoeia for the axe leaving her hand herself.
4/10. Needs more JoJo.
"God-fucking-dammit!" Jersey clawed at her eyes, angry in ways that mere words could only hint at expressing, and even then only if written in nintey-six point boldface. Her sister. Was the most embarrassing boat. On the goddamn planet. Holy fuck, she loved the little shit, but…

Just…

Holy fuck!
Ah, the harbinger of wonderful things to come.
"You know~" Naka started with a teasing lilt.

"Shut the fuck up!" snapped Jersey, her cheeks as red as Naka's dress wasn't. Why did Wisky have to be like this. In front of her friends too! And even Naka! "I swear to secnav, one more word and I'm force-feeding you your own ass."
... yeah, Jersey's strong enough to fold Naka in half.
"But—"

"No!" snapped the Iowa. "No live-streaming, or live-tweeting, or snapping or… or… or any fucking small internet noise."

"Fine," Naka huffed and crossed her arms.

Yuudachi opened her mouth to say something.

"Don't!"

Yuudachi closed it again.
Me: "Poiblem, Jersey?"
Jersey: "THE FOURTH WALL WON'T HIDE YOU FOREVER!"
Meanwhile, Battleship Musashi stared at the horizon and gulped, wondering what fresh hell she was about to enter. Amaterasu herself couldn't help her now. There were three of them.
Well, there's about to be three of you, so it's all good.
 
How to make the weeb weebier :drevil:

Introduce her to just about anything made by Studio ufotable, wait for the binge to end, and then when she is assigned to a base and admiral....

*Whisky after making a dramatic entrance to the room*: I ask you, are you worthy to be, my Admiral?

:lol:rofl::D:p

and then Jerjer somewhere just groans out in frustration at suddenly feeling embarrassed out of the blue. :rofl::lol

edit: on another note, I find it peculiar that the old iron post I saw hasn't been threadmarked yet.

But I guess it will be soon enough.
 
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Mo smiled. It wasn't an express offer of permission. But it would be enough. It'd have to be. The Iowa closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

She was the last battleship.
Mo felt her boilers sputter to life, flame filling their metal bellies. A raging strength filled her. She hadn't felt this mighty since her sea trials.

A relic in an age of miracles.
Her turbines purred like vast tigers. Her mighty screws slashed the frigid water, whipping it into a froth of punished foam.

An ancient childish thing.
She rolled her neck, feeling muscles pop into place as her fairy crew put their lessons into practice.

The last, lonely remnant of a bygone age.
Her radar flickered to life. Mo closed her eyes and saw everything.

A living legend from the age of the Big Gun.
Her hands balled to fists. Leather creaked as her fingers bit into her palms.

The mere news of her arrival drove her foes to despair.
She rolled her shoulders, feeling every muscle react to her slightest whim. She'd never felt this… alive before.

Even her herald accepted their surrenders.
Mo slammed her fists together, relishing the recoiling force she felt reverberate through her musclebound arms. She would use her strength—

She would set her course forwards—
FOR FREEDOM.

Going to be honest here, when I was reading this part for the first time over at SB, this song came to my mind.



More specifically, the part from 2:38 to 3:37 came to mind when reading that. In fact, I went back and reread that part of the chapter while listening to that part of the song. Let me tell you, I got it right the first time around and dear SECNAV I had chills go down my spine.
 
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I can't remember if I cross posted this here or not...anywho...

Omake- That time of the year...

Jersey looked up from the rather intense, yet polite knocking on her door. Setting aside the latest Jane's, she opened the door to a rather annoyed, if not amused, Yamato.

"I, Yamato, request that you rein in your destroyers," She said as dignified as possible.

Jersey look down, then started laughing. Hard.

Firmly affixed to Yamato were Johnston, Hoel, and Roberts.

By their teeth.

Everytime Yamato moved set them growling and wriggling like lampreys.

Jersey laughed harder. "It's October 25th again?"
 
Critical Dessity
The couter-attack on Pearl had been meticulously planned. More importantly, that plan had been carried out with extreme violence of action by angry Marines and SEALs who were at least as angry, but in honed and polished sort of way. With the princess and her queen gone, the remaining abyssal forces crumbled. Leaderless and without any degree of tactical cohesion, the demons collapsed under the green tide of the devil's own wardogs.

The battle was all but over by the time the last battleships showed up, Mo and Wisky's tomahawks were only the final turbo-jet driven nails in a coffin already welded shut. Ford Island was covered with twisted concrete wreckage and speckled with spot-fires. The channel was choked with rotting, waterlogged corpses and upended tanks where abyssal troops had dove for the sea in desperation. And Mo…

Mo sat on an upended concrete block with her littlest sister, greedily stuffing everything in arms' reach into her mouth. She'd never been this hungry before. She hadn't even known it was possible to be so startlingly ravenous. If she wasn't using both hands to shovel semi-expired MREs down her mouth, she'd be clutching at her achingly twisted stomach. As it was, she was half doubled-over with the crippling stomach cramps.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am," a marine's voice shook Mo out of her frantic gluttony. His face—what little of it she could see peeking out from his heavy winter clothing and MOPP suit—was racked with apologetic pity. But in his hands was the glorious brown packaging of a full MRE. "It's all we could find."

Mo swallowed, and swore she heard a pitifully tiny ring as the morsel fell into her painfully empty bunkers. She belatedly realized the bag she was holding was completly empty. She'd been so hungry she'd eaten the flameless ration heater and hadn't even noticed. She was still about that hungry too.

"I don't care," she said, trying to ignore the tear building in the corner of her eye and praying her crimson-tinted shades would hide the brief moment of weakness. She was so hungry she would've kissed him if she could somehow do it while still eating. She all but ripped the bag from his mittens and tore open the packaging.

And that was when a signal officer came screaming onto the bridge, panting breathless predictions of doom and gloom. Mo was only now realizing which menu item she'd been handed. Cheese and Vegetable Omelet. She'd been asleep for the infamous horror show's reign of terror, but her last crew still had… memories.

So revolting was the thought, Mo actually hesitated for almost a full second before her stomach-churning hunger took the conn and forced her to continue. She tore open the first bag she found and forced herself to choke down the revolting clump that could only generously be described as 'egg-like.'

It was exactly as revolting as Mo remembered. But she didn't care. It was food, and the instant it slipped past her throat and into her stomach, it was sweeter than the finest steak. She gobbled the rest of it down, only pausing to wash back the putrid taste with a canteen someone offered her. "Thanks," she said with as much sincerity as she could manage and wiping her mouth with the back of her gloved hand.

She was almost half way through the MRE when she felt a gentle poke against the heavily tattooed flesh of her arm. It was her sister, face half-hidden in her thick turtleneck sweater with one hand wedged between her gunbelt and plate carrier to claw at her stomach. "Sis?"

Wisky blushed and handed an unopened package. "Wa-wanna trade?" she said, her lips shivering from hunger.

Mo glanced at the package. Shredded BBQ beef. Someone must've found a fresh stash while she was busy eating. Just the thought made her mouth water. "Really?"

Wisky nodded. "You m-my sister," she said.

Now Mo was crying, and she didn't care if anyone saw. It was years since the last time she saw her littlest sister. "We'll split it," She said, tearing open the bag and handing it to Wisky.

—|—|—​
Musashi was, in a word, scared. In slightly more words, the mightest of all Japan's warships, the biggest proudest and most powerful battleship the world had ever seen or would ever see again was terrified beyond all forms of human comprehension. She forced herself to keep a straight face—for the good of the destroyers and sweet Shinano—but there was no polite way to say it. Musashi was gripped down to her keep by the clutches of mortal horror.

She'd spent months with battleship New Jersey. A battleship to equal even Musashi, a battleship so cripplingly chunni she managed to loop back around to being seriously intimidating. A warship with decades of honorable service, an attitude as commanding as it was bombastic, and an aft that wouldn't quit.

And now there were three of her. The emperor himself couldn't save her now.

The two battleships—with their requisite encourage of support ships and annoying light cruisers with twitter accounts—rounded the bend into the harbor. Kongou took up the rear, still visibly pondering the appropriate amount of dess for the situation at hand.

Musashi didn't give that a second thought though. In an instant she recognized the two youngest Iowas. They were both tied off against Ford Island, their lines unmistakable even through the post-battle haze of smoke and dust. Long, proud bows, low-set turrets, two massive stacks… there was nothing graceful about an Iowa. Powerful, yes. Tremendously powerful fast beyond imagining even sitting at anchor. But not graceful. They were far too aggressive for that, far too actively violent.

"Mo!" Jersey's voice broke harshly and she hit the island at a sprint. She threw her arms out, catching both her sisters in a hug and tackling them to the deck with her sheer momentum. "Wisky!"

Musashi hung back, both because her plant just wasn't up to delivering that kind of power, and because she was pretty sure three Iowas had a minimum safe distance measured in hundreds of miles. Doubly so now that the youngest two had missiles. The Yamato gulped and watched the sisters pick themselves up.

They were sisters alright. Each had the same super-humanly towering stature and a build like a power-lifter and sprinter had merged without any of the negatives.

But one was dark, her skin almost the same shade of chocolate as Musashi's and covered in spiraling tribal tattoos that burst from her ragged cutoff sleeves and shorts.

The other was bundled—almost swaddled—in a warm turtleneck sweater with only her shockingly long legs to show off the pure white cream of her skin. Her hair was red—proper, coppery red, not Jersey's strawberry blond—and it fell to her waist in a complex set of braids.

Both sisters had a handful of axes hanging from loops on their belts. Axes so sharp Musashi seriously worried if looking at them too long would give her eyes papercuts.

"Sushi!" Jersey waved the mighty Yamato deeper into the Iowas' blast radius. The red-headed Iowa smiled, waving sheepishly before plunging her hand back into a bag she was holding.

Musashi squared her shoulders and threw out her chest. She was a Yamato, she would face her fears with dignity. "Jersey," she said, stepping onto land with what she hoped was utter confidence and slowly striding towards the assembled Americans.

"Meet my sisters," said Jersey grabbing the other two by their shoulders and hauling them in for a half-hug. "Mo—"

"Musashi," the tanned, heavily-tattooed battleship waved.

"—and Wisky."

"Hi," said the redhead.

Musashi nodded in response. This didn't make sense. They were both so… so normal.

"Pardon me," said Kongou, appearing at Musashi's with her usual unannounced suddenness.

"'sup, Dessboat," said all three Iowas in glorious harmony.

Kongou blinked, visibly unnerved. "Shouldn't we be chasing the Abyssals?"

"'laska's got it for now," said Jersey, letting her sisters go so they could resume their feast. "They're only doing like… ten knots, and the one's leaking…" she contorted her face. "What I hope is oil but is probably some fucked-up kinda afterbirth."

She shrugged, hands on her hips as she rocked on her heels. "Boss wants to see which way they're heading. And I gotta get these two," she tousled her sisters' hair, "fed 'fore we head out."

"But…" Kongou put her hands on her own hips in imitation of the bigger battleship. She tilted her head, ahoge visibly swaying as she thought. "Even at flank, you wouldn't merge until almost midnight."

The island was very quiet. Even the rustle of Mo and Wisky's meals had stopped. Slowly, belatedly, Kongou realized something. All three Iowas were smiling. And all three smiles consisted of nothing but gleaming, razor-sharp incisors.

"Oh," Kongou blushed, kicking herself for her oversight. "Right, dess."
 
Methinks all four Iowas in one place will give Musashi a minor panic attack.

Also, how did Wisky and Mo know about Kongo before meeting her? Is none else concerned about this.
 
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