Remove ads

Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]

Reader mode
...
That ending sounded like a really bad porn movie at the beginning (complete with music in my head) and then made out like an eleven year old trying their hardest to write a lemon. Which considering the two might as well be about right on the dot.
 
Holy crap... that... is borderline. One the one hand, post somewhere else with an M rating please! On the other... it almost warranted it and reeked of an attempt to get it past the censors. Honestly... it's hilarious, but that's it. Redone properly, it would be the climax (ha) of a major sub-plot. Nice job. Oh and Prinz! She's accepted both names! Yaaaasss!
 
theJMPer said:
Well... lewds are verboten on SV, so...
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
This is way more intense than any lewd could ever pull off.

EDIT: There is a certain horrifying beauty to it actually.
It very succinctly illustrates their desire for eachother. Yet it also shows their immaturity by showing us the readers that violence is all they really know and understand on their deepest emotional level. Therefore any expression that truly conveies their deepest feelings will take the form of violence. This is truly a masterfully crafted written conveyor of the love they feel for each other. So beautyful and sincere; and yet so horrifying and disturbing on the deepest level.

Note to self:
Do not try to make myself sound like sophisticated by using words I barely know how to spell. Especially not when doing a critique of raunchy porn masquerading as a brawl. It will not make me sound more elephant.
-- Boy trying to be a true Lady Gentleman

PS: What did I even write here?:facepalm: No seriously this is the fourth edit I have made of this and I am still not sure my grammer and spelling is right.
 
Last edited:
....
You know, after reading this I'm now suddenly very glad that Jersey didn't get into a relation ship with a normal human if this is what her expressing love/desire looks like.
This chapter also reinforces the belief that not being careful around a shipgirl will very quickly lead to a Bad End.
...
I wonder if this is the default way of expressing that kind of desire for battleships or does it apply to all shipgirls......
 
Abject Testament said:
....
You know, after reading this I'm now suddenly very glad that Jersey didn't get into a relation ship with a normal human if this is what her expressing love/desire looks like.
This chapter also reinforces the belief that not being careful around a shipgirl will very quickly lead to a Bad End.
...
I wonder if this is the default way of expressing that kind of desire for battleships or does it apply to all shipgirls......
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
No, it does not apply even to all Battleships, see Richardson and Mutsu as an example. It's just that Jersey is complete and utter fucking lousy at sex. Like, a twelve year old who has only read fanfiction has a better idea of what to do.
 
Crosspost from SB:
Instead of lovemaking, they punch the crap out of each other.
------------------------------
Vice Admiral Samuel Williams just sighed, and shook his head, staring down at the now unconscious Jersey and Musashi.

"...So what am I looking at here?"

Sara Gale had bags under her eyes, and had a grin that spoke of someone who was going to get sweet revenge rather quickly. "They seem to have gotten confused on what 'Night Battle' means, confusing it with an actual fight."

Williams motioned to a group of rather burly sailors with a scaled down crane and reinforced carts, who then began to prep the prides of the American and Japanese Navy for transport to the docks.

"And then they seem to have punched each other unconscious. Fantastic."

He then heard a click, as Gale took a picture for posterity, and for Blackmail/scuttlebutt. Williams then sighed. Sometimes he hated this job...
-----------------
USS Illinois (BB-65): *Facepalm* Am I the only sane one of this family? And they never freaking FINISHED NE!
 
Abject Testament said:
....
You know, after reading this I'm now suddenly very glad that Jersey didn't get into a relation ship with a normal human if this is what her expressing love/desire looks like.
This chapter also reinforces the belief that not being careful around a shipgirl will very quickly lead to a Bad End.
...
I wonder if this is the default way of expressing that kind of desire for battleships or does it apply to all shipgirls......
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
What you just saw is not what a shipgirl expressive love/desire looks like. It's not even what Jersey expressing love/desire looks like. It was Jersey and Musashi getting into another nationalistic dick-measuring hatefuck contest. Jer can be tender if she wants to, but that wasn't what she was going for. She (and Musashi) were going full on "MUST PROVE DOMINANCE"
 
theJMPer said:
What you just saw is not what a shipgirl expressive love/desire looks like. It's not even what Jersey expressing love/desire looks like. It was Jersey and Musashi getting into another nationalistic dick-measuring hatefuck contest. Jer can be tender if she wants to, but that wasn't what she was going for. She (and Musashi) were going full on "MUST PROVE DOMINANCE"
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Once more, Beast Emotion still did it fucking better and that was between Musashi and Nagato!
 
theJMPer said:
What you just saw is not what a shipgirl expressive love/desire looks like. It's not even what Jersey expressing love/desire looks like. It was Jersey and Musashi getting into another nationalistic dick-measuring hatefuck contest. Jer can be tender if she wants to, but that wasn't what she was going for. She (and Musashi) were going full on "MUST PROVE DOMINANCE"
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
No, my headcanon is still that this is how genuine love between sexually frustrated battleships that know nothing else but violence is expressed and nothing you say can make me change my mind.:V
 
Last edited:
Next up will be Crowning/Kirishima.

*Crowning is lying in bed, gazing vacantly at the ceiling, Kirishima sprawled half on top of him*
Kirishima: *Panting, surprised* Well, I must say, that was extremely pleasurable and, if I'm honest, rather...exhilarating.
Crowning: *Mumbles incoherently; his mind is oatmeal*
Kirishima: *Looks thoughtful* I have to admit, I would not be opposed to doing that again, and according to my calculations, a man of your age and health should be able to repeat the act at least twice more before the evening is over. *Looks at Crowning seductively* Would you care to test that theory?
Crowning: Urk...

:D
 
Abject Testament said:
But this still reinforces the idea that romantic human-shipgirl relationships should be approached with caution.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Or at least with an instruction manual and a few (dozen) sessions of sex-ed; military training video/powerpoint-style. Both for the involved shipgirl and the involved human.


Possibly also a thesaurus of unusual euphemisms adapted to naval engineering terminology, mainly for the human to figure out what the hell is being discussed.
 
Last edited:
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top